One of our most downloaded expert guests of season 1 is back for more medical and mom talk. Emily is a Nurse-practitioner, hospital-based midwife and a mom of 4 who travels a lot solo with her kids and we talk about the big 3 categories that intimidated me before and even now about having kids.
For more information or to get in touch, go to www.youandmekidpod.com
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[00:00:01] Welcome to season two of You and Me, Kid, a podcast about starting and raising a family on your own.
[00:00:08] Where I speak with other single moms, those still considering and experts in relevant fields
[00:00:14] to give you a real sense of what the day-to-day experience of solo parenting looks and feels like.
[00:00:19] So wherever you are in the process, I hope this podcast provides some support, helpful info, and most importantly humor.
[00:00:26] Thanks so much for listening. Now let's get to it.
[00:00:32] Hello. I'm so excited about today's episode.
[00:00:35] I am talking to Emily, who I spoke to in season one.
[00:00:38] She happens to be my best friend, a nurse practitioner, a hospital-based midwife and a mother of four.
[00:00:45] Emily is my go-to resource for pretty much any subject, but on today's episode we talk about three major parenting categories
[00:00:52] that I have thought a lot about in the last 20 months.
[00:00:55] The first is how to prepare and manage sickness as a solo parent.
[00:01:00] We also talk about travel hacks for flying solo with kiddos.
[00:01:05] And finally, we talk about stuff.
[00:01:07] Not only when stuff comes in in the early days after the baby comes,
[00:01:12] but how we transition stuff out of our homes as our kids get older.
[00:01:16] Emily is always a wealth of helpful information as well as humor, and I hope you enjoy our chat as much as I did.
[00:01:25] Hey guys! Thanks so much for listening to this episode of the podcast.
[00:01:28] As you know, this season I partnered up with California CryoBank, the number one sperm bank in the US.
[00:01:34] California CryoBank ships to over 40 countries and has one of the largest and most diverse selection of donors out there.
[00:01:41] They are offering my listeners an amazing deal for season two that gives you free access to their level two subscription,
[00:01:48] which lets you check out baby and adult photos of the donors.
[00:01:52] To use this code, visit cryobank.com or click the link in the episode description and use my promo code,
[00:01:59] you me kid, y-o-u-m-e-k-i-d for a free level two subscription to their donor catalog.
[00:02:08] California CryoBank has helped tens of thousands create the family of their dreams and hopefully you're next.
[00:02:14] Now let's get back to it.
[00:02:17] Did I tell you that you're one of the most downloaded episodes of season one?
[00:02:22] I mean, I'm so floored with that compliment. I almost can't take it. I don't believe it.
[00:02:27] And it's probably just my mom downloading them on multiple devices.
[00:02:30] So today I want to talk about three big buckets. These are the three big buckets.
[00:02:35] I think I thought about a lot prior to pursuing single parenthood and had questions about like how I would handle these things.
[00:02:44] Those categories are travel, thickness and stuff is bonus category number three.
[00:02:53] Got it. These are my three favorite topics in my favorite talk about which is reproduction, human reproduction.
[00:03:01] Which we already talked about.
[00:03:03] We already talked about. So we're moving on.
[00:03:05] Great. Okay. We're on to your next three favorite topics.
[00:03:07] So maybe let's talk about travel first because this is a question I do actually get quite a bit from people
[00:03:12] going into having a baby.
[00:03:16] I was nervous the most about security.
[00:03:20] Like how do I get a baby through security?
[00:03:23] And you have helped me really understand that and we're going to dive into that.
[00:03:26] I was also really nervous about at a 30,000 foot level.
[00:03:30] Would I not be able to travel in the way or to the places that I wanted to as someone who really loves adventures?
[00:03:37] And we have a very special friend who often uses the phrase, my life is over.
[00:03:43] I'm never going to travel anymore after having a kid.
[00:03:47] And so I thought about that a little bit.
[00:03:49] I now know that's not true, but let's kind of let's go through your hacks as a non-single mom,
[00:03:55] but a mom who travels often with multiple children and someone who I think really thinks through the hacks every step of the way.
[00:04:03] But is there anything that you think about in terms of where you're going and how you're going to get there?
[00:04:09] Yes. So I really like to travel.
[00:04:13] I like to travel before I had kids and I continue to like to travel when I'm planning travel.
[00:04:18] You know, spring break doesn't become such a thing until you have school age kids.
[00:04:22] And I think it doesn't even really become a thing until you have school age kids in which attending school matters more.
[00:04:28] I hope no one from my kids school listens to this after I don't know.
[00:04:32] Other teachers here may be like, it doesn't really matter at first grade teacher is really skippable.
[00:04:37] Yeah. Kindergarten first grade please.
[00:04:40] You don't need to go to those preschool.
[00:04:41] Get real.
[00:04:44] And so when we look at when I look at planning travel, I look at two things.
[00:04:49] We do look at cost because we're a family of six.
[00:04:52] And so that's a really real.
[00:04:54] That's something that's real.
[00:04:56] And then I really look at places and this is my honest 100% honest opinion.
[00:05:01] I have a belief that what I'm having a good time, everyone's having a good time.
[00:05:05] There are exceptions to this rule, but it really is true.
[00:05:08] So I prefer to go places that I enjoy and then I find that if I enjoy them,
[00:05:16] everyone enjoys them rather than plan something that just my kids will enjoy and I might feel sort of frustrated or annoyed by.
[00:05:22] I love that.
[00:05:23] I really like busy outside children.
[00:05:25] And so I tend to plan things that are both busy and outside.
[00:05:29] Those are the three sort of factors I look at when planning a trip.
[00:05:34] When I know because I know you very well that you love, you love a red eye.
[00:05:39] I love a red eye.
[00:05:40] I love a red eye and we're not going to make that recommendation on the podcast.
[00:05:45] That's just like, I can't just awful.
[00:05:48] But when you do fly alone with the kiddos and I'm thinking, you know, a lot about those early days when you flew with the twins and their babies.
[00:05:56] Yep.
[00:05:57] How were you picking flight times if it wasn't price?
[00:06:01] I was only picking on price and I still only pick on price.
[00:06:06] I don't know if I can in good conscious recommend that to everybody,
[00:06:10] but I truly pick only on price and fly at horrible times.
[00:06:16] And your family has been okay with that though, right?
[00:06:18] Like they've kind of rolled with it or do you, has it just been awful, but it's worth saving two grand because everyone bounces back the next day.
[00:06:26] So I think there's two things.
[00:06:27] One, I'm really a morning person and really a person who I think because I'm a midwife and so I have lots of practice with like being up at odd hours, having to be focused.
[00:06:39] I feel like I have the ability to wake up at three in the morning and be like, it's game time.
[00:06:43] You know what I'm up for?
[00:06:44] Airport security.
[00:06:46] It honestly works better.
[00:06:48] This is a horrible statement without my husband.
[00:06:52] Here's why.
[00:06:53] Guess who's not a morning person?
[00:06:55] My husband.
[00:06:56] Guess who is the fussiest of the six of us on a morning flight?
[00:07:00] My husband.
[00:07:01] And so sometimes I'll pick something a little bit later, like not at 530 but more at 830 if I know that my husband will be with us and the cost isn't a huge difference because he is grumpy.
[00:07:12] If you know yourself and you know you're grumpy in the morning, don't do it because I think that having a winning attitude at the airport is truly half the battle.
[00:07:20] It's the same concept as the location you were just saying, right?
[00:07:23] Like I have to make yourself happy.
[00:07:27] Yes.
[00:07:27] Because you are the like foundation of this ship and your kids are going to like figure it out one way or the other and feed off my energy a little bit.
[00:07:37] And so I always think that on travel are kind of in life.
[00:07:41] I have to be, I have to make myself sturdy.
[00:07:44] So then like whatever swirling children are around me, I'm up for that.
[00:07:49] And so I'm patient.
[00:07:51] I am patient with my children and I'm patient with like TSA.
[00:07:55] And so at 530, that works for me.
[00:07:57] It doesn't work for everybody, but I just do it purely on cost so that I can stretch our travel budget.
[00:08:04] I really, you've never said that to me, but I really, really love that idea even as it relates to the location because I think a lot of the advice I get sometimes or even not even advice.
[00:08:15] I was just literally just listening to a podcast the other day where they were going through all these resorts that have child care.
[00:08:21] I don't resort.
[00:08:22] Right.
[00:08:22] So I don't either.
[00:08:24] And so part of my brain was like, oh, that's a great option.
[00:08:28] And then immediately it was like, wait, that's not that's not the type of travel that I personally enjoy.
[00:08:34] And so I think you make just such a good point, which is like go to the places that like you're going to enjoy.
[00:08:40] You're still going to have a great time.
[00:08:42] Your kids are going to be like nimble or they're not.
[00:08:44] There's no way for you to know the difference between like that place you chose a versus like other place and the flights are kind of the same.
[00:08:51] Like take care of yourself.
[00:08:53] That is really what I think.
[00:08:54] And the other thing is, you know, childcare is there are some places I think especially as a single mom.
[00:08:59] If you really want to feel after a vacation, you're cup filled.
[00:09:04] If you're a person who really needs like your child to be in the childcare at the resort so you can like go out on a scuba dive.
[00:09:13] I don't really know what people do at resorts go out on a scuba dive.
[00:09:16] Then you should absolutely do that.
[00:09:17] It's just not what I like.
[00:09:19] Yeah, totally.
[00:09:20] No, I think that's a great point.
[00:09:21] Okay, my absolute favorite part of this is the day the travel day hacks.
[00:09:28] Let's talk about it.
[00:09:29] Let me stretch.
[00:09:31] Pre-going to the airport.
[00:09:34] What does your kit matter?
[00:09:36] Have you thought through when you're alone with the kids?
[00:09:40] Yeah, so I'm flying alone.
[00:09:41] You're flying alone.
[00:09:42] Did the tools matter of like, you know, does the diaper bag matter did it back in the day?
[00:09:50] Do you have other little things that you use to like get from home to the airport and make it easier?
[00:09:56] Yes, I think that's really relevant.
[00:09:57] So I will.
[00:09:58] I'm not a single mom, but I will say that I do fly without my husband a lot.
[00:10:02] One, because he's fussy.
[00:10:04] Two, as I previously discussed.
[00:10:07] Cut that out!
[00:10:08] My choice.
[00:10:09] You're a solo mom traveler by choice.
[00:10:12] I'm a solo mom traveler by choice.
[00:10:14] No, it's just the nature of his work and my work that I can take the kids places without him a lot.
[00:10:19] So I'm going to go.
[00:10:21] I'm going to think back to when I was flying alone with babies, right?
[00:10:25] Because that's the majority of your audience because school age kids are a little bit different.
[00:10:29] So yes, I would do a lot of preparing.
[00:10:32] My what I always want to do is like not have a lot of clutter with me.
[00:10:38] So I want to be like as hands-free and mobile as possible.
[00:10:42] A lot of that was things like if I'm going to was going to go see my parents.
[00:10:49] Is there a possibility that they can have a car seat for me so I can fly without a car seat?
[00:10:54] Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
[00:10:56] But if they could, that's so helpful.
[00:11:00] Is it possible that somebody can pick me up from the airport?
[00:11:02] I find being picked up from the airport upon arrival is way easier
[00:11:07] because everyone's tired from the flight.
[00:11:09] So if I can have somebody pick me up from the airport, that's fantastic.
[00:11:13] If not, that's okay too.
[00:11:14] And then again, packing those bags with a lot of novelty.
[00:11:19] So I try to save things for airplanes.
[00:11:22] Even when the kids were little that they never get out of airplanes.
[00:11:27] So I would always bring like a new toy they had never seen, a new sticker book they've never seen,
[00:11:32] a snack they don't get a lot so that there's novelty.
[00:11:36] And in my mind those things are only for inside the airplane buckled in your seat.
[00:11:40] You can't use it at the airport because the airport's too entertaining.
[00:11:43] So don't lose your willpower an hour before the flight because...
[00:11:50] No, an hour before that flight you should only be walking repeatedly on magic sidewalks
[00:11:56] and which Mike is really like or they still really like them honestly.
[00:12:01] And window shopping at a Hudson News, which is what we do at the airport exclusively
[00:12:06] and they love a Hudson News.
[00:12:08] They make a whole Christmas list there.
[00:12:11] I love this.
[00:12:11] Okay.
[00:12:13] So when you do have to take a car seat.
[00:12:16] Yep.
[00:12:18] And you're alone.
[00:12:19] Mm-hmm.
[00:12:20] Like car to airport, how do you do it?
[00:12:24] Okay, car to airport.
[00:12:25] The thing that I always put in my mind is that the car to checking in your flight
[00:12:30] is the hardest time in my opinion.
[00:12:32] Yeah.
[00:12:32] So I just kind of gear myself up for that right?
[00:12:35] I'm like this is going to be really unpleasant and I'm going to get through it
[00:12:39] and it might and I'm just going to survive it.
[00:12:41] It's not going to pretty.
[00:12:42] It's not going to be efficient.
[00:12:43] I get to nothing fun about anything and there's no way to make it fun.
[00:12:48] No, and it's interesting because now that I have, you know, my oldest kids are nine
[00:12:53] and one of my daughters is always like I hate security.
[00:12:57] And I'm always like it should not be an expectation in your mind that you like security.
[00:13:01] If your favorite part of your trip is security.
[00:13:04] What a bad trick.
[00:13:05] So we just that's a bad trip.
[00:13:07] So we just survive this.
[00:13:08] She will also really as we travel more internationally.
[00:13:10] She also really hates customs.
[00:13:12] So we survive this part and we don't have the expectation that it's going to be fun
[00:13:16] to like get through it.
[00:13:17] And that's why I feel about the car to the, that's actually how I feel about
[00:13:21] the majority of the travel logistics.
[00:13:23] So two things.
[00:13:26] If you have a baby that's still in a car seat like the kind you use for to
[00:13:29] and under, you can either travel with the base or on the bottom of every car
[00:13:36] seat is this little piece that shape like an H that you can use to install
[00:13:39] a car seat in a car without the base.
[00:13:42] So if you have the kind of stroller that's just the car seat and you don't want
[00:13:46] to travel with the base of your car seat, just take that little piece out
[00:13:49] and make sure you bring it with you.
[00:13:51] Are we parking at a shuttle lot?
[00:13:54] In this scenario or something like that.
[00:13:56] Let's make it as hard as possible.
[00:13:57] 100%.
[00:13:58] Okay.
[00:13:59] I get to the shuttle lot.
[00:14:00] I'm at the airport so far in advance.
[00:14:02] It's borderline comical.
[00:14:03] Yep.
[00:14:05] Six.
[00:14:05] I mean like three hours.
[00:14:08] Six hours.
[00:14:09] I'm like half a day.
[00:14:10] I'm there 48 hours.
[00:14:12] Same.
[00:14:14] Right?
[00:14:16] To get on that airport shuttle, I'm going to pretend we have a baby.
[00:14:18] I'm going to put a baby in a carrier.
[00:14:21] Okay.
[00:14:22] And then I'm going to push my stroller that I'm going to have in the
[00:14:25] airport.
[00:14:26] Ideally you have a car seat stroller but maybe not.
[00:14:28] The reason that I'm going to do that is because when getting on
[00:14:31] that shuttle, I really want to be able to be rough with the stroller.
[00:14:35] You know what I mean?
[00:14:35] I want to be able to jam it up the rail and that's hard to do
[00:14:38] that with an actual baby in it.
[00:14:40] Yeah.
[00:14:41] That's similar to my kid.
[00:14:43] So I have, and these are things to think about too.
[00:14:46] I think when picking a stroller, if you have options, which
[00:14:49] is a car seat that goes right into the stroller, the stroller
[00:14:52] base goes down.
[00:14:54] Some of the cheapest and best strollers have those options.
[00:14:57] And then I will do the same.
[00:14:59] I'll put all my bags in the base of the stroller, but
[00:15:03] I'll put the belly in the car seat and then put a backpack on
[00:15:06] if needed or like that's my diaper bag and then everything
[00:15:09] goes away by the time we're on the plane except the diaper
[00:15:13] bag.
[00:15:13] I'm with you.
[00:15:14] I don't want any stuff.
[00:15:15] I'm not putting something overhead.
[00:15:17] I'm like, my kit by the time we're sitting in our seat is
[00:15:20] so streamlined.
[00:15:21] Yes.
[00:15:21] And more stuff in your seat, the more hectic your life.
[00:15:24] That I really, really agree with you.
[00:15:26] The other thing is getting on the shuttle.
[00:15:27] I really remember this because I used to travel.
[00:15:30] This is so random.
[00:15:31] When my twins were between nine months and 18 months, we
[00:15:36] flew by ourselves like six or seven times for my work.
[00:15:39] And that was like a very hectic time.
[00:15:41] The other thing that you sometimes that I had to find peace
[00:15:43] with is I'm going to be the most rookie traveler getting
[00:15:48] on the shuttle and it's going to feel inconvenient to other
[00:15:52] people or I'm going to perceive that or I felt insecure
[00:15:54] about that and I needed to just get over that right?
[00:15:56] Like yes.
[00:15:57] I'm not just going to be able to push on the shuttle
[00:15:59] in one step.
[00:16:00] I might need to like put my suitcase on the shuttle and
[00:16:03] then go get the babies and then bring the babies on the
[00:16:05] shuttle.
[00:16:05] And I just had to be okay with people kind of rolling
[00:16:08] their eyes at me whether and that might not even happen
[00:16:11] and it might have been my own insecurity, but I do think
[00:16:15] you're not at your max efficiency when you're traveling
[00:16:18] as a single mom or traveling alone as an adult with
[00:16:22] a baby.
[00:16:23] Yeah, which I agree is like a tough transition for very
[00:16:25] efficient travelers.
[00:16:27] Yeah.
[00:16:27] When you pride yourself on your travel efficiency.
[00:16:30] Yes, out the window.
[00:16:31] Yeah.
[00:16:31] Yeah.
[00:16:31] Throw it out the window.
[00:16:33] Throw it out.
[00:16:33] Okay.
[00:16:34] Let's talk about security because you gave me some really
[00:16:36] good hacks about this.
[00:16:38] Oh, heading into the line.
[00:16:41] There are some things.
[00:16:42] Let's talk about this first.
[00:16:44] A you can always bring breast milk or milk in a
[00:16:47] bottle correct?
[00:16:48] Yes.
[00:16:48] Tell me about the legality of that.
[00:16:50] Okay.
[00:16:50] So you can always bring the breast milk or milk in a
[00:16:53] bottle or formula or the distilled water you might
[00:16:57] be using to make your formula.
[00:16:59] That's all those liquids.
[00:17:00] Nobody can argue with you if they argue with you push
[00:17:03] back.
[00:17:04] Yeah, you can for sure push back and the other thing
[00:17:06] that I used to do when I was traveling with breast
[00:17:09] milk is would you might travel with one if you're
[00:17:13] going to be if you want to feed your baby pumped
[00:17:15] milk on the airplane or if you're traveling without
[00:17:17] your baby like for work or on a girl's trip and
[00:17:20] you're pumping milk and then bringing it back.
[00:17:23] What I used to do is I printed out the TSA thing
[00:17:27] that had it that would said it was okay or I
[00:17:30] screen shattered it on my phone because the thing
[00:17:32] that I always thought is I never want to get in
[00:17:34] a power struggle with anyone on TSA because even
[00:17:37] though I know I'm right.
[00:17:39] Ultimately, I also know that my plane's going to
[00:17:40] take off and I mean I'm at the airport so early.
[00:17:43] I'm I'm aware that my planes eventually going
[00:17:45] to take off and they they have all the power
[00:17:48] right because they need to let me through and
[00:17:50] I think that people are genuinely trying to do
[00:17:51] the right thing and trying to do their jobs
[00:17:53] and just don't know so that I'm there to
[00:17:55] make sure that they know that they can let me
[00:17:57] through to show it only one time.
[00:18:00] Okay, and I had when I used to fly with my twins
[00:18:05] because I used to I breastfed and I could feed
[00:18:08] it was hard on an airplane plane for me to
[00:18:10] simultaneously nurse them which is called tandem
[00:18:13] feeding so I used to breastfeed one and then
[00:18:16] bottle feed the other because I could do that.
[00:18:18] I could like logistic.
[00:18:20] I could that I could manage.
[00:18:22] So insane.
[00:18:23] It's so insane.
[00:18:24] But you know helpful to travel by yourself to be
[00:18:26] five feet tall because I can say the fact that
[00:18:29] you can sit in a seat about that every time
[00:18:32] I sit in a plane seat and I'm like, yeah,
[00:18:35] it's because I can sit crisscross apple sauce
[00:18:36] in an airplane seat breastfeed a baby.
[00:18:39] It was only when he was like, you can't bring
[00:18:40] this liquid and so then I was like, oh,
[00:18:43] I printed this out from this TSA website.
[00:18:44] I can and then he brought a supervisor over
[00:18:47] and then they read it and then they agreed
[00:18:49] but I just was so grateful that I have that.
[00:18:53] Yeah, I love that idea as a backup and it's just
[00:18:56] like some relief because like the first time I
[00:18:58] walked through I remember being like, okay,
[00:19:00] what's going to happen?
[00:19:01] Like what questions are they going to ask me?
[00:19:03] What are they going to ask me to do that?
[00:19:04] I no longer have hands for.
[00:19:06] So basically like I go into security.
[00:19:09] This is regardless of my child's age and you
[00:19:11] figure out the order of operation.
[00:19:13] So for me, the order of operations is based
[00:19:16] on the buttons.
[00:19:17] The car seat comes out of the stroller.
[00:19:20] Um, it goes on the floor not on the thing
[00:19:23] because they'll stop the thing and they'll say
[00:19:24] baby on whatever.
[00:19:27] Yeah, put her on the floor.
[00:19:30] I put the handle down, pull her out.
[00:19:34] I flip the car seat over.
[00:19:35] It goes it goes upside down on the thing
[00:19:38] and I push it through my stroller does not.
[00:19:41] It doesn't shrink down and go into the x-ray.
[00:19:46] It gets rolled through by a TSA person.
[00:19:48] I've never had anybody question me about it.
[00:19:51] The one thing that you brought up that I've actually
[00:19:53] never had anybody ask, which is are they ever
[00:19:56] going to ask if the wheels come off?
[00:19:58] Tell me about that and what you're allowed to do.
[00:20:00] There's a, it might be the nature of the stroller.
[00:20:03] So they sometimes ask if you can break down
[00:20:06] your stroller and take off the wheels to put
[00:20:08] it through security.
[00:20:10] My opinion on that is that that's a no.
[00:20:13] And so I say the wheels don't come off.
[00:20:15] Here's the thing.
[00:20:16] Do I know if the wheels come off?
[00:20:17] I don't know.
[00:20:18] I've never tried and they don't really care.
[00:20:20] I feel like like they just want me through.
[00:20:22] They don't want to deal with me.
[00:20:24] I did have someone the last time they looked at
[00:20:26] the stroller and I thought that the next question
[00:20:28] was to be, did the wheels come off?
[00:20:30] And he said, do you have anyone traveling with
[00:20:31] you?
[00:20:32] And I said no, and I could see his brain be like,
[00:20:35] I'm not going to ask this woman to take the wheels
[00:20:37] off.
[00:20:37] But if they ask, I just say no.
[00:20:40] And they don't really like, they don't want
[00:20:42] to deal with it either.
[00:20:43] I think, but yeah, you'll figure out your system
[00:20:46] for what happens first.
[00:20:47] I also have to say every single time I've been
[00:20:50] through security, which is quite a bit in the past
[00:20:52] 20 months, somebody offers to help me.
[00:20:55] And if they didn't, I 100% at this point in my
[00:20:59] parenting would feel comfortable asking someone
[00:21:01] to help me if I need it.
[00:21:03] Like, hey, can you just like push these buttons
[00:21:06] on this and people are so stoked to be helpful
[00:21:08] in that, in like what is like just an awful
[00:21:11] part of your travel journey anyway?
[00:21:13] I've noticed everybody.
[00:21:16] There's somebody in line that has a kid and somebody
[00:21:18] that knows how your stroller works and they're
[00:21:20] going to offer to help.
[00:21:21] So ask for help or say yes to the offer if you need
[00:21:25] it.
[00:21:25] It's actually pretty efficient.
[00:21:27] I thought I do have TSA pre.
[00:21:29] I've been through non TSA pre lines and it's like
[00:21:32] not that big of a deal.
[00:21:33] You pull your stuff out.
[00:21:34] No problem.
[00:21:35] And again, the goal at the end of it is to be
[00:21:37] backed to that back to that very streamlined kit
[00:21:41] and not have like stuff falling everywhere all
[00:21:44] over the place.
[00:21:45] Yes.
[00:21:46] That's everything is I make sure I roll into TSA
[00:21:49] pre check like.
[00:21:50] Ready for pre yeah.
[00:21:52] So like when we get to the airport, my kids know now
[00:21:55] like we dump out all our water bottle.
[00:21:57] I mean, when we before we enter the airport when
[00:22:00] we're still outside.
[00:22:02] At water bottles are empty.
[00:22:04] If you're traveling with a device like I pre
[00:22:06] pull it out.
[00:22:07] I used to because sometimes because again, I had
[00:22:09] twins.
[00:22:10] It was a little tricky.
[00:22:10] I would always put the baby like in the I
[00:22:12] would have the carrier on and put the baby in
[00:22:15] the carrier before I got in line.
[00:22:18] And then my other hack in terms of asking for help.
[00:22:21] If there is a I rolling Huffy traveler behind
[00:22:25] me, I let them go ahead of me for two reasons.
[00:22:28] One, I think his kids get older and models manners
[00:22:32] and now sometimes my older kids in line will be
[00:22:33] like should we let all these people ahead of us?
[00:22:35] And now I'm like, No, they're not rolling
[00:22:37] our eyes and we're actually a finely oiled machine.
[00:22:39] They're not but I don't want that added pressure.
[00:22:44] And so I would just rather let you go ahead of me.
[00:22:45] Go ahead.
[00:22:46] Like and then I think people are sometimes surprised
[00:22:49] because they were sort of committed to being annoyed
[00:22:51] with you and then you could be like, go ahead.
[00:22:54] I have plenty of time.
[00:22:55] You go.
[00:22:56] Yeah.
[00:22:56] Just call the ball like we're a hot mess.
[00:22:58] This is going to take me a second.
[00:23:00] Go ahead.
[00:23:01] Go ahead.
[00:23:02] Yeah.
[00:23:03] I haven't really had like any issues, but I'm
[00:23:06] I agree with you 100%.
[00:23:08] It's the mentality of like, I'm not as efficient as I used
[00:23:11] to be.
[00:23:11] This is going to take me a second and I might mess
[00:23:14] up my program.
[00:23:15] I might forget that this button is this button and
[00:23:18] that's 90% of the time the case and that's okay.
[00:23:21] And I'm just going to be that slow person that used
[00:23:22] to annoy me back in the day and it's totally okay.
[00:23:25] And then on the rare chance that I nail it like
[00:23:29] everything's ready to go.
[00:23:31] I'm not taking anything out.
[00:23:32] I hit the right buttons.
[00:23:33] I take the right piece of the thing out in the
[00:23:35] right time.
[00:23:36] It's like I've won the mom game.
[00:23:40] 100% and I assume people are looking at me like she's a
[00:23:44] pro.
[00:23:45] She's a pro.
[00:23:45] Here's another thing if you have a toddler sometimes
[00:23:48] toddlers have trouble when you have to put their
[00:23:50] backpack, like when a toddler becomes attached
[00:23:52] to their backpack on security because it feels
[00:23:55] like you're taking it away.
[00:23:56] So then that happened to me once and I've seen it
[00:23:59] have another parents in the airport.
[00:24:00] So now when we're standing in line, we and the
[00:24:03] day before I'm like now remember we go through the
[00:24:06] security.
[00:24:07] They're the ones who keep us safe.
[00:24:08] We're going to take your backpack off and then we
[00:24:10] like practice of putting on a table and then you'll
[00:24:12] get it back at the end so that it doesn't feel
[00:24:15] like the toddler has a backpack filled with all
[00:24:19] their most prized possessions.
[00:24:20] This is when they're old enough to be aware
[00:24:21] of their backpack like 18 months to three that
[00:24:25] then you're being like give it to this man
[00:24:27] and they're like absolutely no.
[00:24:29] Yeah, and you're already in a crowd.
[00:24:31] I'm just turning the corner of my child being
[00:24:33] able to understand some of those preset expectations.
[00:24:36] Oh yeah, because you're there so early you have
[00:24:40] the time to be like here's what's going to happen
[00:24:42] and I don't know if my child totally gets it but
[00:24:44] I like that I'm telling her that.
[00:24:46] Yeah, like you know we got it.
[00:24:48] We're going to wait in a line for a second like
[00:24:50] I know this is hard bubble, blah and it helps me
[00:24:52] just as much as it helps her right.
[00:24:53] You're kind of like telling them what you need
[00:24:55] to tell your own brain, but it hasn't been
[00:24:58] at all as hard as I thought it would be security
[00:25:01] and then in Denver, we of course have like the train
[00:25:03] and the shuttles and like it's a whole hoopla.
[00:25:06] The one other thing I would say too and I'm
[00:25:08] assuming you do this is that planning your bag
[00:25:12] and the kit for security then in my world gets
[00:25:15] revamped for the flight.
[00:25:18] So while we're in the gate when I had a little
[00:25:20] baby because I didn't breastfeed I then revamped
[00:25:23] so like then the bottle gets made and it gets
[00:25:26] put in the bag like the pacifier is like easy
[00:25:30] to pull out so I would I got a different bag
[00:25:33] thanks to you that I felt like I could get stuff
[00:25:36] out of when it was under the seat in front of me
[00:25:38] while holding a baby and like bottles just
[00:25:41] need water from the flight attendant.
[00:25:45] Yep, right?
[00:25:45] I didn't have to like pour the formula or whatever
[00:25:47] so those were ready to go that felt really good
[00:25:49] and efficient and then anything I was going
[00:25:51] to need with her like if she was going to fall
[00:25:53] asleep I needed like a jacket or a blanket
[00:25:55] or something for her head was ready to pull
[00:25:58] out or I could put in the little net thing
[00:26:01] prior to me sitting down.
[00:26:04] Yes, that is that's exactly what I do.
[00:26:07] I don't travel with again I always I check bags
[00:26:09] I pay to check bags because I don't want it
[00:26:11] with me in the airport.
[00:26:13] And then I make everything this is exactly
[00:26:16] what you're saying within arms reach because
[00:26:18] in the hopefully a baby is going to fall
[00:26:20] asleep on top of me and there's no worse
[00:26:22] feeling than being like I either have to
[00:26:24] wake up this baby.
[00:26:26] Yes, I can I can reach my earbuds but then
[00:26:28] I have to wake up this baby.
[00:26:30] And which one do I want more and then just
[00:26:32] like sitting silently on a plane for two
[00:26:34] hours is actually kind of hard.
[00:26:35] Yeah, and I mean I think the expectations
[00:26:38] I've learned too because my kiddo used to sleep
[00:26:40] like off and on on the plane before but now
[00:26:43] she's old enough where all the beeping
[00:26:45] and the announcements wake her up.
[00:26:47] Yeah, similar type of expectation.
[00:26:49] I think which is like this is going to be
[00:26:51] hard if it's not hard what a win what a way
[00:26:54] it's likely going to be hard.
[00:26:56] Yeah, and like I've gotten stuck on the tarmac
[00:26:58] for five hours.
[00:26:59] I've like I've gone through some travel challenges
[00:27:01] and it's just difficult but as you would say
[00:27:04] and I think about this all the time it's
[00:27:06] like that plane is going to land like it's
[00:27:08] going to be over and you just have to get
[00:27:10] through it and that's true.
[00:27:13] It's going to be over and you just have
[00:27:14] to get through it and then I would say
[00:27:15] most of the time it goes better than
[00:27:17] my brain assumed it would go and then
[00:27:20] we're walking out of the airport and someone
[00:27:21] is picking us up and we're like nailed it
[00:27:24] or didn't nail it but like it's over.
[00:27:27] It's over.
[00:27:28] It's over and we're in the place that we
[00:27:30] wanted to go and like that was worth going
[00:27:33] to the place and seeing people are having
[00:27:34] an adventure or whatever it's always worth it.
[00:27:36] Even the day we spent five hours on the tarmac
[00:27:39] I will say the day we did spend five
[00:27:40] hours on the tarmac all the families bonded
[00:27:43] together because it sucked for everybody.
[00:27:47] I turned on the screen.
[00:27:48] There was no sound.
[00:27:49] My child like binge screetime.
[00:27:52] No big deal and then all the families we
[00:27:54] boarded an off-board of the plane twice
[00:27:56] in those five hours and we like got a glass
[00:27:59] of wine together like the families like
[00:28:00] just kind of like bonded like people were
[00:28:02] sharing snacks.
[00:28:04] There are some white sides of humanity
[00:28:05] I think in those harder moments.
[00:28:07] Yes, I really do think that.
[00:28:10] Yeah.
[00:28:11] Okay last part about travel and I want
[00:28:13] to switch to sickness in terms of getting
[00:28:15] there.
[00:28:16] Yeah.
[00:28:17] You kind of said like pick a place
[00:28:19] that you like and then the kids will
[00:28:20] enjoy the activities.
[00:28:21] Anything that you think is like a smart tip
[00:28:24] for once you get to a place sleeping
[00:28:27] trying to get them in vacation mode
[00:28:29] and making your life as easy as possible
[00:28:32] once you get there or is it just a
[00:28:33] freestyle show always?
[00:28:35] Not a freestyle show.
[00:28:37] I would say wait can I say one other
[00:28:39] thing about an airplane that I like to
[00:28:40] do that really think is fun is I used
[00:28:43] to when my kids were like that age
[00:28:44] where they want to move but they're
[00:28:46] unreasonable still.
[00:28:47] So you know if they're not old enough
[00:28:49] for screens so kind of like that under
[00:28:52] two time but they're mobile.
[00:28:54] I think that's a really hard time to fly.
[00:28:56] Two things one I used to pack a
[00:28:57] Zip lock back with just a lot of stuff
[00:29:01] in it.
[00:29:01] My number one thing I used to pack is
[00:29:03] Band-Aids.
[00:29:03] Why?
[00:29:04] Because my kids like nothing more
[00:29:06] than opening Band-Aids.
[00:29:07] Why?
[00:29:07] I don't know but they're not the
[00:29:09] first person to tell me that or
[00:29:10] painters tape.
[00:29:12] Oh yeah.
[00:29:12] They can just like stick tape everywhere
[00:29:15] just anything and stuff.
[00:29:17] They've never seen before.
[00:29:18] So I have this one a game that they
[00:29:20] really like that's only for airplanes
[00:29:22] but stuff that's novel.
[00:29:23] So I would like and you know markers
[00:29:25] are hard because if you drop your
[00:29:27] marker which you will because the
[00:29:28] plane is uneven.
[00:29:30] Your toy is gone within nine
[00:29:32] seconds and it's so sad.
[00:29:34] Yes that is yes.
[00:29:36] I'm so glad you brought that up.
[00:29:37] It's really a sad time well because
[00:29:39] I've like definitely brought new
[00:29:40] markers and then lost them all
[00:29:43] probably within like 37 seconds of
[00:29:45] opening them and then like parties
[00:29:46] over.
[00:29:48] I learned really early the like thing
[00:29:50] that connects the pacifier to my
[00:29:52] child's clothing is clutch.
[00:29:55] Some very smart mom told me to bring
[00:29:57] that pride or first flight.
[00:29:59] It saved us because my child will
[00:30:00] try to throw her pacifier at
[00:30:02] everyone throughout the flight
[00:30:03] and that is one thing that does
[00:30:05] make the flight easier for my
[00:30:06] child.
[00:30:07] Yes.
[00:30:08] But things that will like stick
[00:30:10] or not just get lost because they
[00:30:13] yeah everything gets thrown or moved
[00:30:16] or whatever and so yeah things that
[00:30:19] are connected I think is a great idea.
[00:30:21] Here's one other thing that I remember.
[00:30:23] I didn't know before I flew for the
[00:30:24] first time you can't have a baby in
[00:30:26] a carrier during takeoff or landing.
[00:30:29] You remember this if they're asleep.
[00:30:31] I never might.
[00:30:32] Ellie was never a carrier baby but
[00:30:34] oh if you have to wake them up
[00:30:35] that's a real bummer moment.
[00:30:37] It's a real bummer so I would use
[00:30:39] a carrier that I could take down
[00:30:41] and leave them chest to chest with
[00:30:42] me but I could just take down the
[00:30:44] carrier to satisfy the flight
[00:30:45] attendant.
[00:30:46] Oh smart.
[00:30:47] So if they were asleep maybe they
[00:30:49] would like Russell but it wasn't
[00:30:50] like you were totally moving them.
[00:30:52] Yeah so like I used to wear my
[00:30:53] babies in movies a lot remember
[00:30:55] those big wraps and then those
[00:30:59] you really can't undo and redo
[00:31:01] with something like a Bjorn or
[00:31:03] an Ergo you can unclip it so
[00:31:05] they're not in it anymore but
[00:31:07] they you don't have to move
[00:31:08] their position.
[00:31:09] Oh I love that hack.
[00:31:11] Okay.
[00:31:12] So when you get to a place well
[00:31:15] I do want to run through one
[00:31:16] thing my very very first flight
[00:31:18] the flight lost my car seat
[00:31:21] and in that moment I learned a
[00:31:22] hack and I wanted you to revisit
[00:31:25] that for me which is my initial
[00:31:27] reaction was go to a rental car
[00:31:28] place because they probably have
[00:31:30] car seats but you told me that
[00:31:31] the airlines have them.
[00:31:33] The airlines have them if they
[00:31:34] break your car seat or lose your
[00:31:36] car seat the airline has them
[00:31:38] and so you just need to go and
[00:31:39] then they give you a car seat.
[00:31:41] We actually still have a booster
[00:31:42] seat from an airline because
[00:31:43] they're like oh we have so many
[00:31:44] of those don't bring it back.
[00:31:46] So go to like the lost baggage
[00:31:47] lady or the lost baggage thing
[00:31:49] okay and the same thing that if
[00:31:51] they lose your stroller they'll
[00:31:52] replace your stroller
[00:31:55] for the moment the stroller
[00:31:57] they don't see if they have to
[00:31:59] give you because you can't leave
[00:32:00] our seat they have to
[00:32:01] they have to give you a car
[00:32:02] seat and then rent car seats
[00:32:05] with car rentals correct
[00:32:07] with rent car seats with car
[00:32:08] rentals you can for like a
[00:32:10] pretty nominal fee.
[00:32:12] So you can rent car seats with
[00:32:14] car rentals and if they break
[00:32:16] anything just make sure you fill
[00:32:18] up the little form so that they
[00:32:19] give you money for it.
[00:32:20] Okay here's the thing I just
[00:32:22] saw which is interesting and a
[00:32:23] bit terrifying is in Europe
[00:32:24] car seats are not required
[00:32:27] and US car seats don't meet
[00:32:29] the standards of European car
[00:32:30] seats so they you can't take
[00:32:32] them.
[00:32:32] So anyway look I need to look
[00:32:34] into the realities of that
[00:32:35] before I go to Europe but
[00:32:36] there's some weird like car
[00:32:37] seats in taxi things in Europe
[00:32:39] that one should look into.
[00:32:42] Yes, yes.
[00:32:43] Okay yeah that was that was a
[00:32:45] moment where I was like oh I
[00:32:46] didn't think about what to do
[00:32:47] here but that's super helpful
[00:32:48] so airlines have car seats and
[00:32:50] then when you get to a place
[00:32:52] in terms of getting your kids
[00:32:53] on the new program is there
[00:32:55] anything that you do?
[00:32:57] I would say the only other thing
[00:32:58] I do is set my expectation
[00:32:59] that our first night of sleep
[00:33:00] in a new place usually isn't
[00:33:02] awesome and so the only reason
[00:33:05] I do that is it just helps me
[00:33:06] a lot of my parenting acts
[00:33:08] are about like keeping me
[00:33:10] emotionally stable so that it's
[00:33:12] not the first night of vacation
[00:33:13] when everyone what my kids
[00:33:14] tend to do all four of them is
[00:33:15] they wake up really early on
[00:33:17] vacation the first night
[00:33:19] and so then I'm like never
[00:33:20] known is ever going to sleep
[00:33:21] again and then I just have to
[00:33:22] be like no this is our first
[00:33:23] night this is what happens
[00:33:24] every single first night
[00:33:26] every vacation you've ever
[00:33:27] taken but I don't know what
[00:33:29] else.
[00:33:29] No I think that's accurate
[00:33:30] I think like I try to stick
[00:33:32] with the same bedtime routine
[00:33:33] so my kid even yeah I'd be
[00:33:35] in a different time zone
[00:33:36] like she knows that it's
[00:33:37] bedtime I haven't done this
[00:33:39] because we haven't gone on like
[00:33:40] a quote unquote vacation but
[00:33:41] like airbnbs a lot of times
[00:33:44] you can get a pack and play
[00:33:46] you can rent like all kinds of
[00:33:47] stuff from like really good
[00:33:49] airbnb people airbnb people
[00:33:50] have a lot of things
[00:33:52] but there's also a bunch of
[00:33:54] services that will like deliver
[00:33:55] you rental stuff so in terms
[00:33:57] of minimizing that stuff
[00:33:58] you don't actually have to
[00:33:59] take all the things you can
[00:34:01] get really streamlined if
[00:34:02] you're willing to pay
[00:34:03] that extra fee for it to
[00:34:04] be there when you get there.
[00:34:05] Yes and we really we also
[00:34:08] specifically won't rent
[00:34:10] an airbnb that doesn't provide
[00:34:12] a pack and play.
[00:34:13] Yep.
[00:34:13] Yeah.
[00:34:14] Rule.
[00:34:15] Okay.
[00:34:15] It just there's so many airbnbs
[00:34:17] it's rare that you're like
[00:34:18] this is the only airbnb in
[00:34:21] San Francisco and so I would
[00:34:23] just rather get one that has
[00:34:24] a pack and play and has
[00:34:27] you know when my kids were
[00:34:28] little enough to need to eat
[00:34:30] like in sort of some sort
[00:34:31] of mechanism.
[00:34:33] Yes.
[00:34:33] That had a high chair.
[00:34:35] Yeah.
[00:34:36] And that just made my life
[00:34:38] easier.
[00:34:39] Yeah.
[00:34:39] And you don't have to pack
[00:34:40] all the things.
[00:34:41] Yeah.
[00:34:41] Okay.
[00:34:42] Also I want a family friendly
[00:34:43] airbnb that also has plastic
[00:34:45] cups so that I'm not serving
[00:34:48] my child out of
[00:34:50] like their cream goblet.
[00:34:52] It feels so stressful to me
[00:34:54] because I don't want them
[00:34:54] to break the airbnb.
[00:34:56] Yeah.
[00:34:57] Ellie got RSV when she was
[00:34:59] four months old we hadn't
[00:35:00] had a sickness prayer to
[00:35:01] that so I hadn't really
[00:35:02] thought about a lot of things
[00:35:04] and we figured it out but I
[00:35:05] remember making a call to you
[00:35:06] and I want to start with this
[00:35:07] which is this call actually
[00:35:09] happened with my preeclampsia
[00:35:10] but we can put that aside for
[00:35:12] a second which was
[00:35:13] I don't remember this call
[00:35:14] so I can't wait to hear what
[00:35:15] it was.
[00:35:16] Well, well I remember very
[00:35:17] clear thinking in my head
[00:35:18] when I was having preeclampsia
[00:35:19] my first night home from the
[00:35:20] hospital which was I can't
[00:35:21] breathe I said just go to
[00:35:22] the gas station and get one
[00:35:23] of those like oxygen things
[00:35:25] that they give out at your
[00:35:26] resort.
[00:35:27] Okay.
[00:35:27] I for sure remember that
[00:35:28] call that you're like hey
[00:35:29] I can't breathe and my heart
[00:35:30] is racing and I just
[00:35:32] oxygen tank and swing by an
[00:35:33] urgent care like the attack
[00:35:35] inside of a inside of a King
[00:35:37] Super's grocery store and I
[00:35:39] said it's a hard no said now
[00:35:40] so let me so let's break this
[00:35:42] down because I think this is
[00:35:43] really helpful and I still
[00:35:44] like I still think about this.
[00:35:46] Okay.
[00:35:47] Talk me through
[00:35:50] if you do need additional
[00:35:51] support if this isn't something
[00:35:52] you can do in your home and
[00:35:53] we'll talk about the home
[00:35:54] stuff in a second when you
[00:35:55] go to an urgent care when
[00:35:57] you go to a hospital when
[00:35:58] you call an ambulance.
[00:36:00] Oh good call.
[00:36:01] The first thing I have to say
[00:36:03] because this you say that's on
[00:36:04] all podcasts even though
[00:36:05] I'm a medical even though
[00:36:06] I'm a medical practitioner
[00:36:08] I'm not anyone's listening
[00:36:09] medical practitioner.
[00:36:11] There's this doesn't count as
[00:36:12] medical advice and please
[00:36:14] seek the help of a trusted
[00:36:15] medical professional now
[00:36:16] moving on from that.
[00:36:17] Well done.
[00:36:19] I think that they're like in
[00:36:20] terms of what are warning
[00:36:21] signs that you want to
[00:36:23] like the scary stuff big red
[00:36:24] flags.
[00:36:25] Yeah, it's a little bit
[00:36:27] age dependent and kids
[00:36:30] under one are more vulnerable
[00:36:32] than kids over one.
[00:36:33] So kids just get sturdier
[00:36:34] and hardier as they get older.
[00:36:38] And so for kids under one
[00:36:40] I would say that any difficulty
[00:36:42] breathing like if your baby
[00:36:43] looks like it's laboring to
[00:36:44] breathe how a baby looks
[00:36:46] when they're laboring to breathe
[00:36:47] as you can see them
[00:36:48] sucking in at their ribs.
[00:36:50] The medical word for it
[00:36:51] is retracting
[00:36:53] and if you Google image it
[00:36:55] or Google YouTube it
[00:36:56] you'll see a thousand
[00:36:57] images of it and then
[00:36:58] also if they're breathing
[00:36:59] noisy.
[00:37:00] So a baby shouldn't make noise
[00:37:02] on inspiration like
[00:37:05] that's called inspiratory strider.
[00:37:08] That's a reason to go to an ER
[00:37:10] here I think are great reasons
[00:37:11] for urgent cares.
[00:37:12] I would take a kid do
[00:37:13] an urgent care if I had
[00:37:14] something that I thought
[00:37:15] needed antibiotics
[00:37:18] and I need and you have to
[00:37:20] show that in order to
[00:37:21] get treatment.
[00:37:22] So the majority of you
[00:37:24] know every kid gets
[00:37:25] six to eight colds a year.
[00:37:27] Those are usually during
[00:37:28] the winter month.
[00:37:28] So most babies are getting
[00:37:30] a cold month
[00:37:32] in their first three years of life
[00:37:34] and that is just
[00:37:35] but doesn't that feel true?
[00:37:36] I mean it is true
[00:37:37] but doesn't it feel
[00:37:37] just serious.
[00:37:39] Yeah.
[00:37:39] So if I think my baby
[00:37:40] has an ear infection
[00:37:42] kids under two
[00:37:43] they do recommend
[00:37:44] treating for ear infection
[00:37:45] so your infections
[00:37:47] are things like
[00:37:48] your baby is running a fever
[00:37:50] a fever is something
[00:37:51] above 100.4
[00:37:52] So if you think your baby
[00:37:53] is running a fever
[00:37:54] and tugging on their ears
[00:37:55] and I want to know
[00:37:56] if they have an ear infection
[00:37:57] because I want to
[00:37:58] treat with it with that
[00:37:59] antibiotics because they
[00:38:00] it is not treating them
[00:38:02] can impact hearing
[00:38:03] which can then impact
[00:38:05] speech which is why
[00:38:06] it's treated both for two.
[00:38:08] I'm going to take
[00:38:08] a kid to an urgent care
[00:38:10] because it's so easily
[00:38:11] diagnosable and if you
[00:38:12] can't get into your pediatrician
[00:38:14] within a ten minute
[00:38:15] or it's the weekend.
[00:38:17] Totally urgent care
[00:38:18] no question easy stop
[00:38:20] urgent care are no problem
[00:38:21] same with strep throat
[00:38:22] if I think a kid
[00:38:23] has strep throat strep
[00:38:24] often lives alone.
[00:38:25] So a kid doesn't have a
[00:38:26] but the kid has a cold
[00:38:28] they always have a sore throat.
[00:38:30] Strep throat is often a fever
[00:38:33] and a sore throat
[00:38:34] and sometimes nausea.
[00:38:35] So by the kid
[00:38:36] who I think has strep throat
[00:38:37] I'm going to take them
[00:38:38] to an urgent care
[00:38:38] because I want to strep test
[00:38:40] so I can get antibiotics.
[00:38:42] Great.
[00:38:42] Okay.
[00:38:43] What about like cuts
[00:38:44] like little stuff like that
[00:38:45] urgent care is fine
[00:38:46] they can do stitches
[00:38:48] that urgent care can do fine
[00:38:49] people have different
[00:38:50] opinions that there's
[00:38:51] something on the face
[00:38:53] because sometimes you want to
[00:38:55] there are some people
[00:38:55] who would prefer
[00:38:56] to have something
[00:38:57] on the face
[00:38:57] repaired by a plastic surgeon.
[00:38:59] So it doesn't scar
[00:39:01] that's a little
[00:39:02] parent dependent.
[00:39:03] So if you want
[00:39:04] if you have a kid
[00:39:05] with a big cut on their face
[00:39:06] and you want it to not scar
[00:39:07] then you often should
[00:39:08] take them to a children's
[00:39:09] hospital where they can have
[00:39:09] a pediatric plastic surgeon
[00:39:11] so it a kid
[00:39:12] with like a big gash
[00:39:14] on their arm
[00:39:14] that didn't stop bleeding
[00:39:16] and you thought
[00:39:16] needed stitches
[00:39:17] so really deep
[00:39:18] that would be a reason
[00:39:19] to take them in
[00:39:20] and then probably
[00:39:21] if I thought a kid
[00:39:22] had a broken bone
[00:39:23] I would take them to an
[00:39:24] ER because I would want it
[00:39:26] I would want it.
[00:39:27] I would want some
[00:39:28] ways that I know
[00:39:28] I could get an x-ray
[00:39:30] and you can't get an x-ray
[00:39:31] in urgent care.
[00:39:33] It depends on the urgent care
[00:39:35] but I would want to go
[00:39:37] someplace where
[00:39:40] I know that I can get
[00:39:42] a pediatric
[00:39:44] ortho person.
[00:39:45] Got it got it.
[00:39:46] Okay.
[00:39:47] And then
[00:39:49] I have found
[00:39:50] one of my biggest
[00:39:51] like questions
[00:39:52] was how hard is it
[00:39:53] to get into my pediatrician
[00:39:55] I think that it depends
[00:39:56] on the pediatrician.
[00:39:57] I think there are doctors
[00:39:58] who you can text
[00:40:00] the nurses there are doctors
[00:40:01] who were open on the weekends
[00:40:02] like I didn't think
[00:40:03] about any of it
[00:40:04] when picking a pediatrician
[00:40:05] but I have found
[00:40:06] when I call the day
[00:40:08] of line to get in
[00:40:09] I actually haven't had
[00:40:10] any trouble
[00:40:11] and and that is even
[00:40:13] with like not
[00:40:14] crazy issues
[00:40:16] but someone always calls
[00:40:17] me back in a timely manner
[00:40:18] and I get the answer
[00:40:19] that I need
[00:40:20] and I have been able
[00:40:20] to get in
[00:40:22] when I needed to
[00:40:22] and I now know
[00:40:23] that the backup
[00:40:23] for that would be an
[00:40:24] urgent care, which is great.
[00:40:25] But
[00:40:27] I haven't had
[00:40:28] I haven't had a lot of trouble
[00:40:29] but maybe something to chat
[00:40:30] with your pediatrician
[00:40:31] about prior to picking one
[00:40:32] is like what's your
[00:40:33] communication strategy
[00:40:34] if I need you
[00:40:34] if I have a question
[00:40:35] and it's midnight
[00:40:37] yes, I do
[00:40:38] how do I get in after
[00:40:39] hour or like
[00:40:40] off hours
[00:40:40] that sort of thing
[00:40:41] I think is all good stuff
[00:40:42] to know
[00:40:43] maybe
[00:40:44] prior to even having a baby
[00:40:45] so you know the answer
[00:40:46] prior to like it being 1 a.m.
[00:40:50] And you're googling
[00:40:50] because that's what
[00:40:52] I think that
[00:40:53] I would say that in picking a pediatrician
[00:40:55] that would probably be my
[00:40:58] first most important question
[00:40:59] was what
[00:41:00] how do I communicate with you
[00:41:01] if I need to see you the same day?
[00:41:03] Yeah
[00:41:04] and I you
[00:41:05] you made this point to me really early
[00:41:07] when when Ellie had RSV
[00:41:08] which is like
[00:41:09] and at that point
[00:41:10] the entire world had RSV
[00:41:12] and there was
[00:41:12] I think an 8 hour
[00:41:13] wait at our pediatric hospital
[00:41:15] and you made a great point
[00:41:16] which is
[00:41:17] you have a 4 month old baby
[00:41:18] and if she can't breathe
[00:41:20] like
[00:41:21] you're not going to have to
[00:41:22] advocate that hard
[00:41:23] when you get to the ER
[00:41:24] like if you tell them those things
[00:41:26] if you're clear about
[00:41:28] my baby's not breathing
[00:41:29] she's 4 months old
[00:41:30] they're going to
[00:41:31] help move that process forward
[00:41:33] just get her there
[00:41:35] and that gave me some relief
[00:41:36] that they would be able to prioritize it
[00:41:39] we wouldn't just like get put in a queue
[00:41:41] which is what I thought would happen
[00:41:43] Oh yeah
[00:41:43] no there's at every pediatric
[00:41:45] ER at every ER in the world
[00:41:46] there's someone who works triage
[00:41:48] which you when you go up to the line
[00:41:50] like determines the order
[00:41:51] in which you'll be seen
[00:41:52] and a baby that can't breathe is at the top of the list
[00:41:55] yeah
[00:41:56] and I think that it's smart for us to focus on that first year
[00:41:58] because I do feel like
[00:41:59] even after 6 months
[00:42:00] I have a pretty good sense of
[00:42:03] if she's sick
[00:42:03] she not sick
[00:42:04] does she have a fever
[00:42:05] does she not have a fever
[00:42:06] like you just kind of figure out pretty quickly
[00:42:08] but those early days
[00:42:09] I wasn't always
[00:42:10] especially going through something
[00:42:11] like RSV so early
[00:42:14] I was a little bit like
[00:42:14] ooh what do I do here
[00:42:16] is this a hospital thing
[00:42:17] is it not
[00:42:18] and I
[00:42:18] that was one of those moments where I was like
[00:42:20] I didn't even
[00:42:21] want a partner there
[00:42:23] to like help with it
[00:42:25] it was more like
[00:42:26] hey she's crying
[00:42:28] it would be nice to have somebody in the car with me
[00:42:30] if I'm driving to a doctor
[00:42:31] like to hold her
[00:42:32] or if it's a respiratory thing
[00:42:33] like I'm driving
[00:42:34] and she's in the back
[00:42:35] but we've
[00:42:36] we figured it out
[00:42:37] thanks to
[00:42:37] you know
[00:42:38] having some good friends in healthcare
[00:42:40] and my pediatrician
[00:42:41] I kind of like the idea
[00:42:42] like what you just said
[00:42:44] knowing your kids
[00:42:45] gonna get sick in that first year
[00:42:46] and in the first 6 months
[00:42:47] and being like
[00:42:48] okay
[00:42:49] don't wait till the moment
[00:42:50] they get a cold
[00:42:50] and they're 3 months old
[00:42:51] to figure out what your plan is
[00:42:53] like
[00:42:53] kind of know what you're going to do
[00:42:55] or where you're going to go
[00:42:56] generally
[00:42:57] prior to it happening
[00:42:58] and then I would say
[00:43:00] there's
[00:43:00] there are some few things
[00:43:01] you might want to have
[00:43:02] on hand at home
[00:43:05] to
[00:43:05] when those thing happen
[00:43:06] because they will happen
[00:43:08] yes
[00:43:09] so I feel like my go-to thing
[00:43:10] that I have at home
[00:43:12] is I have a thermometer
[00:43:13] that I trust
[00:43:15] so that I know that I can know
[00:43:17] if my
[00:43:17] if my child has a fever
[00:43:18] and if so how high
[00:43:20] and then and then know that I can bring it down
[00:43:23] with
[00:43:23] Tylenol or ibuprofen
[00:43:24] if they're over 6 months
[00:43:26] so I know that I have a fever
[00:43:27] and I know that I can track
[00:43:28] bring it down
[00:43:29] humidifiers are
[00:43:31] incredible
[00:43:33] and so I know that I have a good humidifier
[00:43:35] that I can use
[00:43:36] especially because we live in Colorado
[00:43:37] where the air so dry
[00:43:38] for any respiratory stuff
[00:43:42] I know that some people really like
[00:43:46] what like a nasal sucker
[00:43:48] that your nasal passageways
[00:43:50] you like those
[00:43:51] yes
[00:43:52] you know someone gave me the
[00:43:55] Rita nose
[00:43:56] Rita and then my mom
[00:43:58] when I was a kid used like just the bulb
[00:43:59] like the all-course not sucking bulb
[00:44:02] I didn't actually
[00:44:03] I used it only when Ellie had RSV
[00:44:05] because I knew that like within seconds
[00:44:07] I could clear her airway
[00:44:08] a little bit more in the middle of the night
[00:44:09] and that made me feel really good
[00:44:11] I have not used it since
[00:44:13] yes
[00:44:13] or anything
[00:44:14] but in those moments
[00:44:16] I was happy to have it
[00:44:17] absolutely so it's like why not have that on hand
[00:44:20] I think having Tylenol
[00:44:22] that you know how to dose appropriately
[00:44:25] Tylenol is a medication that when they're under two
[00:44:27] you it's a wheat based dosing that you'll get from your pediatrician
[00:44:30] and so you want to know
[00:44:32] how to give your baby Tylenol
[00:44:34] how you get it in their bodies
[00:44:35] and then what the right doses
[00:44:36] and how often you give it
[00:44:38] which would
[00:44:38] did you get that from your pediatrician on all your discharge instructions
[00:44:42] yeah and I like often forget the dosing
[00:44:44] because my child turns out continues to grow
[00:44:47] and I just Google it
[00:44:48] yeah like UCLA has it
[00:44:50] and University of St. Louis has it
[00:44:52] they don't put it on the back of Tylenol
[00:44:54] yeah you're right you're right until two
[00:44:56] but it's interesting
[00:44:57] so like this is one of those things that I didn't think about
[00:44:59] but somebody very smart
[00:45:02] instead of getting you like that cute stuffed animal
[00:45:05] or whatever
[00:45:05] somebody gave me a pack of these things as a baby gift
[00:45:09] it was like
[00:45:10] the baby Tylenol
[00:45:11] the snot sucker
[00:45:12] I already had humidifier
[00:45:14] but a humidifier would have been like such an ideal
[00:45:17] addition to that
[00:45:18] you know and I think
[00:45:21] like having those because you
[00:45:23] especially as a single mom
[00:45:25] the thought of taking my child outside in the winter
[00:45:28] which is what it was
[00:45:29] to a Walgreens to buy those things at one o'clock in the morning
[00:45:31] which is screaming just wouldn't have happened
[00:45:34] so I had the solution so like
[00:45:37] buy that stuff
[00:45:39] yes
[00:45:40] buy that stuff don't have a partner that can go grab it
[00:45:42] yes yes you can also Uber eats it to your house
[00:45:45] but well that's good to know
[00:45:47] yeah
[00:45:48] but it is harder
[00:45:50] that's just don't do that just
[00:45:51] yeah yeah just have it
[00:45:53] just be ready and this is going to happen and be ready
[00:45:56] yeah and then the other thing that I think is important that
[00:45:58] I found really stressful especially when my babies were little
[00:46:01] because I was always surprised that they got sick and I don't
[00:46:03] know why because I knew that they would
[00:46:05] is what's your work plan
[00:46:07] like you have the kind of like how do you call in sick to
[00:46:09] work rate point
[00:46:11] and what's yours
[00:46:12] if you have a nanny
[00:46:13] what's your what's your nannies come for with a sick kid
[00:46:17] what's your day cares come for the sick kid which will probably
[00:46:20] be zero and so you have a kid in daycare and you can't take
[00:46:22] them to work sort of like
[00:46:24] what's the plan for that so that the first time your baby sick
[00:46:27] you're not also try now a conversation with a nanny or a
[00:46:30] boss
[00:46:32] being like I have a sick kid what do I do
[00:46:34] yeah
[00:46:35] I want to grow fever just for a second because you did
[00:46:38] get up holds
[00:46:39] I think that colds
[00:46:41] I don't know I feel like they're just a little bit more
[00:46:43] obvious in terms of like turn on the humidifier give
[00:46:46] them some Tylenol
[00:46:47] fevers felt a little bit more stressful to me because my
[00:46:50] baby's level of discomfort was higher
[00:46:53] and it's just a little bit scarier and there's so much
[00:46:56] subjectivity between me my childcare and the medical
[00:47:00] community about what a fever is
[00:47:03] to talk to me about fevers in the first year and what is
[00:47:06] scary and what is that
[00:47:08] so I can only speak for the medical community
[00:47:11] that's why I like them
[00:47:12] not speak for the opinion of your day care
[00:47:14] I did get a different rules
[00:47:16] yeah so a fever is above 100.4 so 100.4 that's 38 degrees
[00:47:24] Celsius anything below that is not a fever
[00:47:28] had it
[00:47:30] even if your day care says it is
[00:47:34] that is one of the things also I think you know this gets
[00:47:37] in a little bit later but I started my child a day care
[00:47:39] at
[00:47:40] four months like the first day of the fourth month so
[00:47:42] basically three
[00:47:43] months
[00:47:45] and I didn't read through in the packet which I had signed
[00:47:48] a year before at that point the rules around sickness
[00:47:52] and what the time frames were and so I had to go back
[00:47:54] and reference it in the moment which of course like
[00:47:58] as a single parent
[00:48:00] who like isn't much of us like I'm not a super like
[00:48:03] stressed out person but there's just no capacity
[00:48:07] in those moments when you have a sick baby that's
[00:48:09] crying that you're holding
[00:48:11] to seek out a lot of information
[00:48:14] and so
[00:48:15] point having it and your brick like postpartum like my
[00:48:19] brain just like couldn't process a lot of stuff at a
[00:48:21] lot of speed so having that stuff either available or
[00:48:25] a friend to text I think was really really helpful or
[00:48:28] pediatrician to text but I think
[00:48:31] finding that was really difficult for me and I had
[00:48:33] a couple tough moments where I took her and then
[00:48:36] the rules were explained to me either in the moment
[00:48:38] while I was dropping her off or after I dropped her
[00:48:40] off and so being clear as you said not only about work
[00:48:44] but like
[00:48:45] what's the nanny expectation if they're in childcare
[00:48:48] what's the childcare explanation like my child if they
[00:48:50] have a fever she can't come back for 48 hours if it's
[00:48:53] like a stomach issue it's one thing a fever is you know
[00:48:56] a different thing so just kind of understand me a
[00:48:57] little bit again it's going to happen so be ready
[00:49:01] for it
[00:49:02] and like what else are you going to do in your
[00:49:04] eighth or ninth month of pregnancy
[00:49:07] then yeah
[00:49:08] nest. Yes, I would rather spend my time on those back to
[00:49:11] expectations than like making sure I had like a color
[00:49:15] coordinated stuffed animal collection which a lot of people
[00:49:17] do
[00:49:19] yeah these are the things to think about right
[00:49:21] totally and I when we've hired babysitters or nannies
[00:49:25] from it what one of the things we've learned is sort of
[00:49:27] like how I don't go to an Airbnb that doesn't have a
[00:49:29] pack and play I don't hire a nanny who's not comfortable
[00:49:32] taking care of some degree of sick child
[00:49:35] if my child really really sick I want to stay with them
[00:49:38] but most daycares 48 hours is aggressive but most daycares
[00:49:41] and all elementary schools have you need to be 24 hour
[00:49:44] fever free so that second day they're really not sick.
[00:49:48] Yes, they can't go to school or they can't go to daycare
[00:49:51] but they're not sick I needed to make sure that I hire
[00:49:55] babysitters that were comfortable being home with kids
[00:49:58] during those days
[00:50:01] because we have to go to work because we have money
[00:50:04] feed all these children.
[00:50:05] Yeah, yeah, it turns out turns out I want to ask you one
[00:50:09] question about stuff before we get there because I know
[00:50:11] we're at time but anything else that you would say for like
[00:50:14] to think about new parents young babies and sickness
[00:50:18] kind of expect what is going to happen.
[00:50:22] I
[00:50:24] I think that knowing who you can call I think that
[00:50:27] anyone who lives in Denver there are you can there's
[00:50:30] also mobile my other favorite parenting hacks that
[00:50:32] I feel like people don't do enough is you know Denver has
[00:50:35] a mobile urgent care that will come to your house and
[00:50:38] accepts almost all insurances.
[00:50:40] Have I not told you about that?
[00:50:41] I should be that haven't needed it knock on wood but good
[00:50:44] to know it's amazing so like if you need a strap test
[00:50:48] they can come to your house do a strap test and give you
[00:50:50] the antibiotics and they come to your house
[00:50:53] and so those are more common so Google that and know
[00:50:56] all the things and then have all those phone numbers
[00:50:58] ready right like
[00:51:00] yes, controlling your phone is your kids get older.
[00:51:02] I call poison control
[00:51:04] not infrequently
[00:51:07] that to know
[00:51:08] where I'm like my two real just ate a fair amount of
[00:51:11] lotion what's the idea
[00:51:14] this is the stuff I think you know
[00:51:17] there it felt like at the end of my pregnancy there
[00:51:19] was just time.
[00:51:21] What do you do and it's like I food prepped and
[00:51:23] that felt like a killer way to spend my time and I made
[00:51:27] sure I diapers and wipes and that's like kind of all
[00:51:29] you need and but these are things I didn't really do
[00:51:32] but I'm lucky to have a lot of healthcare professionals
[00:51:34] in my life that I can text and get answers from but
[00:51:37] this is how I would have spent those past couple weeks
[00:51:39] like get the phone numbers who's your team ask your
[00:51:42] pediatrician a bunch of questions figure out where
[00:51:45] you're nearest hospital is where's your nearest
[00:51:47] pediatric hospital like just kind of know don't stress
[00:51:49] but know and have it available because you
[00:51:52] you will not have the brain power or the energy
[00:51:55] to find that answer in the moment.
[00:51:58] When it's happening.
[00:51:59] Yes we can I give one more hack.
[00:52:01] Yes, stick baby when I was sick baby who you're up
[00:52:05] with all night like you're rocking and holding a sick
[00:52:07] baby all night and you start to feel yourself.
[00:52:10] I think it's easy to either kind of like bring
[00:52:13] yourself to tears when I can feel myself started
[00:52:15] getting escalated with a sick baby.
[00:52:18] I really need to put in earbuds and the earbuds
[00:52:21] aren't I still hold the baby and I'm still with
[00:52:23] the sick baby but I need to have something that
[00:52:26] kind of keeps me sane and so putting on music putting
[00:52:31] on a podcast sort of helps remind sort of.
[00:52:36] Give me like a background music or a soundtrack
[00:52:39] to the experience that makes it easier to tolerate
[00:52:42] because being up all night with a crying child
[00:52:43] is soup is very hard or I find it very hard.
[00:52:47] Yes, but doing it.
[00:52:50] To music that I listen to in high school somehow
[00:52:53] makes it easier.
[00:52:54] I do something similar the sound piece is actually
[00:52:57] really important to me I even if my baby still crying
[00:52:59] I do like play calming sounds like piano sounds or
[00:53:04] whatever and I do try to also be really conscious of
[00:53:06] like taking a big breath in and a big breath out
[00:53:08] and now my child is 20 months and she'll do the same.
[00:53:12] Yeah, really like and there have absolutely been times
[00:53:15] where I've put her in the crib and I've just
[00:53:17] taken a break and walked outside.
[00:53:19] Absolutely.
[00:53:20] I did this two weeks ago like baby was crying.
[00:53:23] I was stressed.
[00:53:24] It'd been a really long night and I literally like
[00:53:26] put her in the crib.
[00:53:28] Tried to forget the fact that my neighbors will probably
[00:53:30] awake which is the biggest thing I've had to come
[00:53:32] to terms with with being a mom and I just like
[00:53:34] went outside for two minutes and like
[00:53:37] they didn't hold air for a second and then I went back
[00:53:39] in refresh and it is I love that you said that tip
[00:53:41] because I think that's huge.
[00:53:43] Okay stuff.
[00:53:47] I hate you hate stuff.
[00:53:50] I hate stuff.
[00:53:51] Incredibly good at keeping stuff at a minimum with
[00:53:53] four kids.
[00:53:55] I think there's one thing that I wanted to mention
[00:53:56] which is like I was about to say don't take all the
[00:54:00] stuff that people like are giving you gift wise be
[00:54:03] very specific about what you put on a registry and
[00:54:05] I would say those medicines and stuff that we just
[00:54:07] talked about like put that on the registry put
[00:54:10] like nursing bras on the registry like it doesn't
[00:54:12] have to be all cute helpful stuff because you want
[00:54:15] to minimize the amount of things coming into your
[00:54:18] space.
[00:54:19] The other thing that is the flip side of that that I
[00:54:21] would say is if people are offering you hand me
[00:54:23] downs I have said yes to every single thing someone
[00:54:27] has offered me because I don't know what my kids
[00:54:29] going to want and I don't know what they're going
[00:54:31] to need and that has actually been helpful.
[00:54:33] So that's like a oxymoronic.
[00:54:37] Two things can be true.
[00:54:38] Turns out turns out both those things are true.
[00:54:40] I don't know what to tell you that is to say
[00:54:42] as to everything free but be very specific about
[00:54:45] your registry and the things that the gifts
[00:54:47] that are coming in and then tell me how you do
[00:54:50] the like once the things start to build and the
[00:54:54] kid gets bigger and there's toys and they're like
[00:54:56] do you do a one-in-one out like how do you manage
[00:54:59] it to one-in-one out is great.
[00:55:01] We don't do that.
[00:55:02] There's a couple of things that I feel like this.
[00:55:04] I'm like oh my God don't I'm embarrassed to say
[00:55:07] all these things are out loud here.
[00:55:08] We both live in like fairly small spaces.
[00:55:10] I think for the size of our families I've
[00:55:12] lived in a two bedroom condo.
[00:55:14] And like so it's a big part of my sanity.
[00:55:18] Yes and stuff makes me feel so I don't like clutter
[00:55:21] is really hard for me.
[00:55:22] So a couple things one around Christmas and birthdays
[00:55:26] we at we tend to ask our relatives who want to give
[00:55:29] our kids things and we love that for experiences.
[00:55:31] We did that since the kids were really really little
[00:55:34] like give us a membership to the Children's Museum
[00:55:37] give us a membership to the zoo give us a membership
[00:55:39] to whatever and now that they're older they'll
[00:55:43] be like give them a cooking class give them a what
[00:55:46] gymnastics and that helps cut down the stuff.
[00:55:49] The other thing is that there whenever we throw birthday
[00:55:52] parties we ask them to be no gift birthday parties one
[00:55:55] because I just want to focus on like bringing the people
[00:55:57] together and hosting something fun and not add
[00:56:00] that stress for people I'm bringing a gift.
[00:56:04] And then we do we do tend to if we're giving gifts
[00:56:09] that I know are not a great fit for my child I do
[00:56:11] tend to sort of store them in a way that then I can use
[00:56:15] that I re gift them at other birthday parties that is true.
[00:56:18] Sorry listening who's I've ever attended your child's birthday
[00:56:21] party it was something re gifted.
[00:56:24] I don't think people care and you know what the other
[00:56:26] day I got invited to a party that was like gifts and I was
[00:56:28] like I'm not going to bring a gift just like I don't
[00:56:29] buy gifts for weddings because I'm like if I go to
[00:56:31] your wedding I'm not buying you a gift and if
[00:56:33] you're mad at me about it we're probably not friends anyway.
[00:56:37] Yeah it's a it's just like yeah I'm not bringing
[00:56:40] gifts to the other thing that I do is especially when
[00:56:43] my kid when my babies were little until they grow faster
[00:56:46] so sort of like the rate of growth slows down as
[00:56:49] they get older is I next I would keep in their
[00:56:51] room or in my bedroom because it's very all very
[00:56:54] close a box that was for goodwill.
[00:56:57] So as soon as they put on something and I couldn't
[00:56:59] get over their head because I put it in the goodwill
[00:57:02] box or with my older kids I put it in the save
[00:57:08] for the next child box so that I got it out of the way
[00:57:11] because sometimes like those things end up back in
[00:57:13] the laundry or I'll throw it on the floor because
[00:57:15] I'm like oh I need to file this away and then I don't
[00:57:17] and I just keep washing it and having them try to put
[00:57:20] it on indefinitely.
[00:57:22] And so I always have a goodwill box going I still
[00:57:24] always have a goodwill box going and so if I'm
[00:57:26] like okay we've grown out of this puzzle this doesn't
[00:57:29] fit anymore that I have something that we can give
[00:57:32] away.
[00:57:33] Yeah.
[00:57:33] Oh I love it.
[00:57:35] This was so helpful for me even though I get to
[00:57:37] talk to you all the time.
[00:57:39] You're the best.
[00:57:41] Thanks so much for listening to today's episode.
[00:57:44] I hope you enjoyed it.
[00:57:45] For more information about the podcast or me go to
[00:57:48] unbkidpod.com.
[00:57:51] See you soon.
[00:57:56] Thank you for listening to this episode.
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