Sharing Our Stories - Christmas Special

[00:00:00] The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in the following program belong solely to the host and guest and do not necessarily reflect those of this radio station, our parent company, advertisers, or affiliates.

[00:00:11] Welcome to Sharing Our Stories.

[00:00:12] We share stories of support for individuals in recovery from substance misuse and mental health related issues.

[00:00:18] There are numerous pathways to recovery, and each week we welcome powerful leaders and role models who have struggled in drug and or alcohol addiction, have found a pathway to recovery, You never see him, he's always behind the scenes. Dan Chavez is here. Come on, here we go. Or as he says, Chavez. He says, Chavez. I'm the son. Chavez or Chavez? Chavez. Chavez. OK. All right. All right. You're trying to be so American right now. It's so crazy. I like your Eagles Santa Claus hat that you're wearing. Hey, you being the Santa fan, I appreciate it.

[00:01:41] That was a talented Mexican that got all the way up to Philly.

[00:01:43] I have no idea how he's a fr-

[00:01:45] All right.

[00:01:46] All right.

[00:01:46] So my high, for those that aren't watching our live feed Uh-oh We didn't think this will be appropriate but here they are Okay, so we got shot glasses there there are little red little red glass drinking glasses. Yeah, yeah Make sure that um you're legit. Yeah, I remember those things right now

[00:03:03] Those are the red solo cups red solo color and does so many things. That guy, if he wants to smoke a blunt until he dies, whatever. But you know, through football, with kids, all the stuff he does in California that I've been seeing through the nation, that guy's, that's a pretty amazing guy. So I think it would have been kind of fitting. But we also have a radio host that had to reboot his recovery around the marriage you want.

[00:04:20] I can't smoke stuff, it makes me very nice.

[00:04:25] It's like, crack, I'm like, hey, you know?

[00:05:24] for everybody. But then I picked up this plate of meat, cheese and crackers. Man. Because everybody needs a little, a little hors d'oeuvres thing. And I thought before we

[00:05:27] started the program, we could sit together and you know, and he was, and he was having

[00:05:31] eyes. So I got the, I got the meat, cheese and cracker plate that you could see here

[00:05:36] if you're watching right now. We opened it up and the pepperonis, Nani, would you eat

[00:05:45] one of these? I would not eat one of those pepperonis. I want to give a big huge gratitude and thank you to Nani and Slim holding this show down to the top It always is and it sucks not being here all the time me and damn been working on due diligence to get me You know when I'm on the road get me online, you know We got some big things in the future happening

[00:07:00] We got some parties that are gonna happen in award ceremony. That's gonna be what we've been shooting for like February

[00:07:06] Probably March March yeah this that you know our our CEO Sean

[00:08:23] You know what I mean always supports the situation slim is like a legend out here

[00:09:25] And I still have like the most embarrassing Christmas of my life was probably about 10 years ago

[00:09:29] Where it's hard for me to remember a lot of it

[00:09:35] Because it was it was I was drunk. I was drunk drunk, but I was with my family

[00:09:40] I was in a bad relationship and I was in California visiting my family for the holidays and

[00:09:42] I Just kept getting drunk or in drunker that night. I want to say it was Christmas Eve. Maybe it was Christmas Day

[00:10:47] cry over what the hell did I just do, you know? But that was one of my worst, worst moments

[00:10:54] for the holidays. I also know that I had a Christmas once where I remember going out on Christmas Eve because that's a big party day. People to go out going out and never making it home on Christmas

[00:11:03] Eve. Literally leaving my friends. I don't know how that don't do drugs. I'm clean of those things. So I just go through the depression of being alone for the holidays. But my whole point behind what I'm saying is not only to share that sometimes the holidays can be really tough for people in addiction, but that there's a change that can occur where you can still be depressed.

[00:12:20] I'm not gonna sit here and say

[00:12:21] I'm the happiest person in the world,

[00:12:23] but you can get through the holidays and survive them

[00:12:27] because you're clean. Colorado, this west of the Mississippi. That place will be going all Christmas Eve, Christmas. You got, ain't dead yet. You got so many things. Just go on the NA website, AA website, CA website, find a safe spot. Also, if you need help, every nonprofit organization is gonna house up on their site.

[00:13:41] You know what I mean?

[00:13:43] You can always call and reach out.

[00:13:45] I know for me, I know I got a couple houses that I stay at, I got a computer, I got markers, I got pencils, I got everything around the house. And who's gonna tell me like Christmas? Like Christmas is about people for me, about, you know,

[00:15:02] my family has me celebrate a lot because in my recovery,

[00:15:05] I don't like celebrating because of places I've been.

[00:15:07] And I'm not Merry Christmas, everybody. Merry Christmas, everybody.

[00:16:20] Merry Christmas, everybody.

[00:16:22] Merry Christmas, everybody.

[00:16:23] Merry Christmas, my wife.

[00:16:24] I'm telling you, like I was a kid

[00:16:27] who took the Santa Claus face off to when I was in some hotel late or I left, she did mad at me and then check on me later. You know, my father got 46 years in recovery. It didn't matter every day he checked on me. That's Christmas to me.

[00:17:40] You know, like holidays are real hard for me.

[00:17:41] I'm one of those people.

[00:17:42] I just don't, I never really see the percentage.

[00:17:45] And you know, like this death row thing,

[00:17:47] it looks like, it's like Santa Claus and electric chair, in my hand and not knowing my identity and feeling embarrassed to walk through my mother's door because I need to be there because I'm her son. And she's taking every piece of her soul to smile and not want to shake the hell out of me for showing up loaded and being a pain and ruining

[00:19:01] dinner and starting fights and all the craziness that now you got a little bit of time on you you're gonna judge your sister And you're gonna judge your family and you're gonna ruin Christmas. So are you gonna come up here and be? King of sobriety

[00:20:21] Man That's bull. That's that's not even that's not even real. Yeah, I don't know what parts of the stepwork taught you that

[00:21:23] You know what I mean? I do my best to make sure that I could put on that smile and get everybody that they need

[00:21:26] I'll gripe through it and over by presence

[00:21:30] Tell them I got the money and then show up with like 10 times as much as I said that I was gonna say my budget You know what I mean? And that's just how I get down, but you know in short

[00:21:35] Really finding your way just for the people and being there and having gratitude and not having

[00:21:41] Needles in your arms drinking your hand not getting naked on a porch

[00:22:43] was tripping out, yo, I couldn't do anybody. So I bought a car.

[00:22:44] I just wanted to see if I could do it.

[00:22:46] She was like, what is that outside?

[00:22:48] Cadillac pulled up.

[00:22:49] I was like, nothing.

[00:22:50] He goes, yeah.

[00:22:51] Merry Christmas.

[00:22:51] Merry Christmas.

[00:22:52] I signed for the thing he jumped in the Uber,

[00:22:53] had a mask on.

[00:22:54] He even knew I had COVID.

[00:22:55] Did his safe space thing.

[00:22:58] He's got to the hood.

[00:22:59] He said, sign right here.

[00:23:00] I walked him to the hood.

[00:23:00] He backed up, boom, boom, boom.

[00:23:01] I had a Cadillac.

[00:23:02] Yeah.

[00:23:03] Yeah.

[00:23:04] So that's how world is not going to stop being who the world is just because of who I am. And I still have to show up every day and live. I can't stop living my life and I can't expect people to stop living their lives. But I have to make a conscious decision

[00:24:20] to take responsibility for my disease.

[00:24:24] And my disease is forever present, right? wine and I'm just sitting there like, well, this conversation's not for me. Right. Yeah. But at the same time, if there's, you know, a holiday Christmas party, you know, or an office Christmas party and everybody's supposed to bring gifts or like the white elephant exchange, oh, yeah, I'm still the guy who will go and buy a bottle of alcohol and put it in the gift exchange. I know that I don't want it. And if I happen to open something

[00:25:42] up, that's a wine bottle, I'm going know, so don't think that that's gonna be the Christmas thing that you show up or presents in your hand. Now you got a job and you've been sober for X amount of time and they're gonna receive you.

[00:27:00] Yes.

[00:27:01] You know, if you wanna get a proper reception,

[00:27:03] you're probably gonna wanna do some step work

[00:27:05] and do some stuff around it

[00:27:06] and learn how to make amends the correct way You know, if I'm feeling like this, recovery's taught me, if I'm mad, it's in correlating to that attitude to this. I don't have a arterial motive to get anywhere, those angles. And that's what the great thing about recovery is, is you can look at it as a practical principle. You know what I mean? And go forward. So if you're going to complicate a holiday on a practical principle in the way

[00:28:22] of life, you're going to lose.

[00:28:24] If you're being hopeful and trying to go there. You gotta keep yourself in safe environments because it's a day. But like I was saying at the beginning, every day's gotta be filled with gratitude like a holiday because we ain't supposed to be here.

[00:29:43] I know I'm not.

[00:29:45] The stuff that I like, oh, I'm better than the movie. You know what I mean? Those are those are those things. You know, and you know, you taint holidays and you think about things, but, and I'm sure that a lot of people that are out there can identify with this, but just remember, it's about celebration about the people. You know, you can believe in whatever you wanna believe in. You know what I mean? I don't, I already told you, I don't really believe the hype.

[00:31:04] I don't believe the hype.

[00:31:05] You know what I mean?

[00:31:06] I believe the family. Drink and smoke marijuana and you're okay What do you call the what do you call the meetings the little little get together's little gatherings

[00:32:25] The rest from because I see you guys talk about it. I'm like, it is serious. So you definitely got to watch it. And I don't want to be the guy like, like hearing your guys stories. I don't want to be that guy at parties or, or not remember the next day, like you guys talk about, cause it's happened before. And it's like growing up, I want to be able to remember all the good times and hang out with friends and all this stuff, even on Christmas Eve or Thanksgiving Eve, all that stuff. So it's one of the cool times I'm not insulted

[00:33:41] by somebody going, I don't want to be like you.

[00:33:43] Yeah.

[00:33:44] It's like, I do like being like you guys,

[00:33:46] you guys are all great.

[00:33:47] So it's like, not even that, I'm going to give him more and more and more and I don't care about your marriage. I don't care about your opinion I don't care about detox. I don't care about the house. I don't care about the kids. I don't care about the car The money none of it. I want it all So I don't know who you're talking to but you're wasting your breath But keep on talking if you want because you're gonna make him go deeper into this situation

[00:35:01] You know what I mean? And that's when you're sitting you're talking about that

[00:35:04] Situation of who I used to be the more say something to me about me? That's addiction. That's where it takes you. That's where your mind goes. And that's not the real you. If somebody's talking to me about something, I gotta be understanding, I gotta talk about what,

[00:36:21] you know, I'll overly talk, I'll offend somebody,

[00:36:23] but I gotta retract it and I gotta go ahead and say,

[00:36:25] hey, you're right.

[00:36:26] Not everything's a choice. Yeah, it started as a choice. And then it got you on everything that I was saying, now it's no choice. Now you have no choice to recover every day.

[00:37:41] So the narrative is right on both sides, right?

[00:37:44] Totally.

[00:37:45] The narrative hooked you.

[00:37:47] Now when you're saying like, Mine ain't cool. Like, I always tell people. Prison ain't cool. Well, four times. Terrible at crime. Terrible. You know what I mean?

[00:39:00] I don't know who wants to bright.

[00:39:02] I see people on social media all the time.

[00:39:04] Yeah, man.

[00:39:05] I did all these years.

[00:39:06] I did it like all the time.

[00:39:07] I'm the best. Basically Salvation Army gives you out of cup. You get a, Salvation Army Cup or you get this Christmas tree green cup. And it's a cookie. This for Christmas. You get some Christmas ham or whatever they gave you, Turkey, you get to eat earlier. You know what I mean? And you got this little bag

[00:40:21] and it's got a cookie in it with a Salvation Army green cup.

[00:40:25] You got a new coffee cup. I threw the cup in the trash. I'm like, this is my choices. To sit up in here and drink hooch and try not to get caught and be locked down and you know what I mean? And basically just stuck,

[00:41:41] that's the real snoop on the stoop.

[00:41:44] You know what I mean?

[00:41:45] You're stuck right in your bunk.

[00:42:42] and every one of those books that I got, she used those so many times, they were wore out.

[00:42:46] I felt good about it, but I just sat down

[00:42:49] and just started crying.

[00:42:53] Cause that's the dad I became.

[00:42:56] She knew me through a tape, through a visit.

[00:43:02] I wasn't there for the important moments.

[00:43:06] I wasn't there.

[00:43:07] I wasn't present for her. just show I was really looking forward to because there's people out there struggling right now. And I'm just here to tell you, it's okay, man. Just follow the rules that Nani and me are bringing out to you. Know that you don't have to be obligated to go places. Know that you're not obligated to do anything that's going to put you in arms way. Find a supporting, loving, sober, clean environment. If that's reckless in the name of them. They don't get that chance anymore to even make the mistake. And the last thing they want to do is see you destroying yourself in the name of their memory. You know, I stopped drinking like that. I stopped getting high like that. Everybody that died and made it about me. Why? That's none of my business.

[00:45:43] That is nothing. It doesn't matter how close I was that person. That's between God and Those actions of those other people and that and people keep on telling me that just the way I explained to that people But still see how it works. I got work to do behind that, you know, Nani. I got a question for you As a woman in recovery Growing up in a multicultural family that's not at all Catholic or Christian and

[00:48:00] No, that's a different. This is totally different.

[00:48:02] You're using the same phone.

[00:48:04] That is so.

[00:48:05] That is savage.

[00:48:07] Yeah.

[00:48:08] He's great.

[00:48:08] He's so awesome.

[00:48:10] But yeah, so growing up, we had, we always had Christmas.

[00:48:16] But for me, I didn't understanding

[00:48:19] what other people understood Christmas was.

[00:48:22] We didn't have that.

[00:48:23] I didn't to have another holiday that I'm going to remember whether I spend it by myself on Christmas day or not Which I probably will and I don't have a problem with that I have two wonderful dogs and I'll be just fine because I'm sober and so I'll make it through that day You know and I just want to say to people out there that if you if you're somebody who deals with depression

[00:49:46] Be strong and you're gonna make it through the holiday all right, and I know what you're going through you're not alone You're not the only get a lot of my strength and support. And then I am incredibly grateful to my friends. I've built a network of friends that no matter what, I can call on them anytime for anything wherever I'm at. I love them so much.

[00:51:00] A shout out to a lot of them.

[00:51:01] I know that they're watching and listening and they know who they are.

[00:51:05] I love you guys so much.

[00:51:07] Yep.

[00:51:08] People love you. 2024 our goal is to get you on the radio. Okay. Yeah, let's do it. That would be great. Oh, you just heard it right here. Okay, I put it out there. Yeah. You got manifest things. So we put it out there. And that's on the radio show. So you'll manifest it starting today. Let's go. 2024. You guys will hear, we'll give him some other name to really throw it off.

[00:52:20] Be like Fred Roberts on the radio.

[00:52:21] Yes.

[00:52:22] Fred Roberts.

[00:52:24] He's just a Robert.

[00:52:25] Fred Roberts.

[00:52:25] I'm Fred Roberts.

[00:52:27] Shout out to you, man. and many people that are in the same vision to create a better day for the next person that has no idea where coming. And we work together hand in hand to give that to them. You know, we're not the people that take pictures because we're in front of homeless people and that feeding people on a child line and all that stuff.

[00:53:40] You know, we were in prisons, we I'm thankful for of course the things that you guys all mentioned family friends

[00:55:03] love

[00:55:04] I'm thankful for my pain

[00:56:05] I want to give a couple shout outs shout out to Josie Burton hitting us up on Facebook, Victor, old man, Julia, Albert, what's up girl.

[00:56:09] And there was more but now I can't see them.

[00:56:13] They vanished on us.

[00:56:15] So last thing I got for you guys is before we started you guys said you got to come hang

[00:56:18] out with us on Christmas.

[00:56:19] What is tribe doing for Christmas?

[00:56:22] Tribe is doing having two different Christmas parties. before we wrap it open up these cupcakes man. We gotta eat some of them. What is that other snack you got over there? And we gotta give for Nani. Hold on, let's open it up real quick. What is Nani, now this is incense to burn. What's it called? That sage. Sage, sage. Yep, and paleo santo. Paleo santo.

[00:57:40] And this is the ward off bad thing.

[00:57:42] It's clear, clear, clear space.

[00:57:44] Clear in the bad, bujoo joo.

[00:57:46] It's for your good friend.

[00:57:47] Getting a bad joo joo out of my office. Oh, no way. No on the side, the other way. Just resting up against it. I guess. Okay. Yeah, like that. Okay. That's all. Oh yeah. You need that for one degree. You're going to rest your phone on it. It clears your... It'll clear all your... It clears your phone. Oh, not even... Oh wait, yeah.

[00:59:00] I got more toys.

[00:59:01] Yeah, and then that's...

[00:59:02] Oh, look at that.

[00:59:03] That's from Made in Madagascar.

[00:59:05] It's at a tin.

[00:59:06] That is so cool.

[00:59:07] Made from tin. 4823? Yes, 7423. 7423. I didn't have a lot of beautiful meat for you. More than anything, 72060 tribe. If they can't help you, they'll give you a contact to somebody who can't help you for sure because that's what we're here to do is make sure that we find you, somebody can get you on that pathway to your recovery. Thank you to Caring for Denver.

[01:00:21] Thank you for everything they do in the mile high.

[01:00:23] And thank you to you out there listening and watching for being a part of what we do here