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[00:00:52] I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Take it outside. A Reel Nerd knows who shot in a Reel Nerd Can follow the plot in a Reel Nerd Shot in a Reel Nerds Hey, this is a brand new episode of the best movie podcast on the internet. Reel Nerds Podcast.
[00:01:22] I am Ryan, I am joined by Brad. Hey, I'm here too. And we were going to see The Strangers chapter one for our film of the week, but you know how I love to fuck with people. So our film of the week is if stay tuned
[00:01:40] and we'll recommend the film or not play the trailer and then spoil the movie. We'll also talk about the big movie news of the week and things we've watched throughout the week. And also if you want to see us in person, Brad, people can see us in person
[00:01:56] in a little over a month. That's right, we have new jobs. Yeah, we'll be slinging pies at Denver Fan Expo. Yeah. And you look for our booth. Last year we did blockbuster video because although you and I were born in the 80s,
[00:02:16] I feel like I identify with the 90s more, you know what I mean? I feel like our brains, like we kind of had some like some autonomy by the time we were like 10 or 11. Before that, you're kind of at the mercy of your parents, like 100%.
[00:02:30] But around that time is when you started to break free and become your own person. I want to break free. Yeah, so this year our booth is a 90s aesthetic style pizza hut, which I always loved growing up. I went to the one in Golden
[00:02:50] and they had the Pac-Man arcade game that was the table, the salad bar, the bucket pizza club, and just brings up warm fuzzy feelings for me. Yeah, for me as an inchotrills fan, they had the turtles coming out of their shell tour like tie-in.
[00:03:12] So that whole concert with the cassette and the program with the mask you cut out of the back, all that gives me the warm and fuzzies for a pizza hut in the 90s. And which really cool, and I really want to thank everybody
[00:03:27] who stopped by our booth last year and gave us lots of props is, your hard work of the designing and the execution paid off. I mean, it was my idea, but you really ran with it. But it's cool, and I'll say it's cool
[00:03:44] to see people respond to it, you know what I mean? Oh yeah. You know, we were mentioned in Westward and it was really cool that people responded that well to what we did. That's my goal is to be the number one attraction at Fan Expo this year.
[00:03:58] Yeah, and I think, I mean, we won't give away our secrets, but what you've shown me so far looks really cool. The menu just like brought back a flood of memories of the menu, not the actual foldout menu,
[00:04:18] but you know it was being the center of the table with the pepper and the Parmesan cheese and I guess like a flag on the condiment thing is the vibe I got from it. Nice, that's what I was going for. I was trying to do like the plastic,
[00:04:33] like one sheet menu thing, but I had to buy like a 10 pack of them. Like that would be like 30 bucks for 10 of them. So I was like, you know, we've already got their acrylic stand up for like when we say like, hey, come record our booth.
[00:04:46] I'm just gonna stick the menu in that thing. But yeah, and it looked cool. And we are working on the pizza scent, just so people know. We'll try to figure something out. We're gonna psychologically make you hungry for sure. Yes, for sure. But my favorite thing is,
[00:05:06] I'm holding it right now and looking at it. It's the pizza box. Like there's an actual real nerd's pizza box. I know, I need one of those Brad. You can have one because they gave us extras, but... Sweet. Yeah, if you come to our booth and you know,
[00:05:23] you can buy one of these special pizza boxes with some goodies inside. Yeah, it'll be cool. It's like, obviously we can't have pizza in it because there's no way we can keep it warm. But it's gonna be... Health department rules and things like that too,
[00:05:36] but yes, go on. Yeah, yeah, I mean, serving food. But it will be really cool. Be a cool movie centric pizza box. So last year we did the Blockbuster Video Cassette pizza or prize things. And this year it's gonna be the pizza ones.
[00:05:54] So, and my cat almost just died. But yeah, it'll be fun and I'm looking forward to it. The difference is though with the pizza boxes, there's only 10 of them. So you'll have to buy them. Yeah, but I mean, it's a super rare item
[00:06:11] and it'll be definitely worth the 20 bucks. Everything inside would definitely be worth the purchase. And you get the cool box, which is like a collector's item in itself. So, and it'll come with one of our Watch It pins. So that'll be a bonus. So yeah.
[00:06:26] Yeah, I almost wonder if there's a way we can get... You know how the one year we got our glassware in there? I wonder if there's a way we can get it in the program. Oh, like a con exclusive? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if FanExpo does that
[00:06:42] except for like their own stuff anymore. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, we'll have to see. And then yeah, I think we haven't heard back yet but we did apply for a panel. So you'll have to block out some time
[00:06:59] in your con weekend to come see us, talk about how streaming sucks and how going out to movies is awesome. Yeah. So yeah, we look forward to seeing you four days this year. I know. It's a long time. We got it.
[00:07:19] I know I haven't seen my two favorite artists who I do have commissions that they haven't been announced for the show yet. It makes me worried that neither Chad Hardin or George's will be there. We'll see. Yep, that is what it is.
[00:07:38] This week on Real Nerds, we saw if, Brad, do you recommend the latest from John Krasinski? Yeah, I think it's okay. I found it a little confusing of a movie, honestly. It's pretty imaginative, but I felt like there was just a lot of it
[00:07:56] that seemed a little convoluted, like a little extra. Like it could have been simpler or simplified, but yeah, it's a good fun family watch anyway. I'm in the same boat. I think it looks really good. I think it is a cute family film,
[00:08:19] and there's some emotional core to it as well, but I had a hard time sometimes, and I thought it was just me. I'm glad you said it. I didn't want to seem like I was stupid, but it seemed like I missed rules or something in it,
[00:08:32] but I don't think I did. You know what I mean? Because they didn't really explain the if very well and why she could see him. Anyways, I mean, I still think it's a cute movie, and I think it's a fine family film. Here's a trailer for if.
[00:08:58] What if I told you imaginary friends are real? And when their kids grow up, they're forgotten. Are any of them scary? Or worse, desperate? Question, why did these kids forget about us in the first place? Last week I just started falling apart.
[00:09:20] You're sucking the oxygen out of the room. Honestly, doc, if this is how it's gonna be, I'm just gonna wheel myself back and plug in. We've started the matchmaking agency to help ifs find new kids. Or we just disappeared. Blue. Happy place, happy place. Oh, Gabi and Croissant.
[00:09:40] Gabi and Croissant. I can help you. How? Because I'm a kid. You are the chosen one. No, no. Let's not give her a complex. Good luck, short sec. It's all up to you. No pressure. Cook and Dagger! Hope this works. All right, let's find these ifs and kids.
[00:10:00] Gee! God, if a kid creates an invisible if. I can find anyone. Anywhere! You got it on my mouth. Thanks for doing this. Don't put him in the eye. Which would? Yeah, that's gonna grow right back. Am I disappearing? Oh! All right, I'm not ready for this.
[00:10:22] I need a four. Or I need a snack. It's one of the two. Gross. You have to help, babe. Yes, we do. Not gonna ask he again. Put some pants on, you're freaking everyone out. Hi. How'd it go? Oh, oh my God. So does this make us partners?
[00:10:50] Let's not get ahead of ourselves, y'all. Keith! And mom said too much candy isn't good for your tummy, but I said... Oh my God. Oh, my eyes can taste it. I am so sorry. You don't taste that in your eyeballs? If revolves around a girl named B,
[00:11:13] who has to spend time with her grandmother because she lost her mom to cancer and her father is having heart surgery and preparing for it. So she has to do that. And while she's there, she sees a little... I guess she's a ballerina named Blossom,
[00:11:35] who is an if. And she also meets Blue, who is a big purple guy. And that's like a little funny thing. It says, well my kid was color blind. And Steve Carell as Blue is really great. And so yeah, that's the premise.
[00:11:56] And at first they don't wanna disappear these ifs. So they're trying to rematch them with new children and it's not working. And Ryan Reynolds is kind of their, I don't know what you'd call it, their ringleader or gatekeeper, fixer guy, match guy.
[00:12:19] And so he's trying to find the right family for them and it's not working. So he brings B into the mix and she tries as well. And then she learns that maybe it's not the kids that need the imaginary friends.
[00:12:33] It's maybe the adults who have kind of lost their sense of wonder or what they want it to be when they grow up is what I got. I mean, does that sound right? There's some, is a little confusing of what was happening with that.
[00:12:52] As I was watching, I was trying not to make like, for premise like this, I don't think I like should have all the rules explained to me like that's probably not the point of it. But yeah, there was kind of like, I'm sitting there thinking,
[00:13:06] okay so when new kids are born and they go through life, they invent new ifs but then the ifs don't go away, they go to this other place. So there should be like billions of ifs, right? Yeah. They don't seem to be that many.
[00:13:22] And like where do they go? Like if they're not there. Yeah, the only thing I can think of just in my thing is that it's kind of revolved around her world. So maybe it's just something that she invented
[00:13:35] to help her cope with what she's going through as a kid is the vibe I got at the end of it. Yeah, I guess that's. I was thinking, yeah. Yeah, because at the beginning I was saying, and when I said, wait a minute,
[00:13:47] how is there only 10 of them? Shouldn't there be so many that, you know, it wouldn't fit underneath the flying wings at Coney Island? Yeah, I mean, I guess like if explained is, as all these ifs are just tangentially related to her,
[00:14:07] then yeah, I guess that limits the environment and why she can see them and not just the billions of other ones running around New York, you know? Yeah. But also like, I thought it was an interesting choice to make her mother passed away
[00:14:28] but also her dad's in the hospital, the heart thing. It just seems like an extra tragedy. Like you could just, you know, you could just explain the movie as he's a dad in heart surgery or something. And also I don't understand
[00:14:43] like why he was in there for so long, you know? Yeah, I mean, I'm not a medical person. I'm sure there is an actual reason why if you have heart surgery maybe you have to be in the hospital for a little bit.
[00:14:54] Like my dad's had like four heart attacks and he's usually like in and out in a day. So. But maybe if it's like a heart disease that I don't know. Usually you don't sit and like wait for the heart surgery for like a week and then do it.
[00:15:11] And then like he was in there preparing, you know? Up to an IV. Yeah. Walk and run around his room for like, I don't know why, like that should cost tons of money. Yeah, I don't know. But I mean, he's really good now.
[00:15:26] I didn't know John Krasinski even had a part in the film. Until, because was he in any of the trailers? No. Yeah, I was surprised I didn't realize he was an actual character in it. Yeah, because I kind of thought like that would have been Ryan Reynolds' part.
[00:15:41] But yeah, from the trailer. I was hoping that, because I kind of pieced together that he was imaginary because there's parts in the film where no one else acknowledges him. And I kept on hoping that he is the grown-up version of Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes.
[00:15:58] Because they did have a Calvin and Hobbes book in there. Maybe spiritually, like maybe it was an inside joke for John Krasinski when he's writing it. Yeah, well I do know the guy who created Calvin and Hobbes would never allow them to be part of something. Yeah.
[00:16:15] That's why all the Calvin and Hobbes stuff that you see, none of it's official, it's all parodies. So, but I thought it'd been cool if he would allow somebody that one thing in a kid's movie. But he stuck by his convictions. But yeah, no, and because two,
[00:16:34] even Ryan Reynolds' character though was kind of weird because I thought he was kind of mean. I didn't understand why he was so mean. Well, yeah, it's, I kind of tracked halfway through that he was probably her if. Yeah, you too. But yeah, before that,
[00:16:51] yeah, he just kind of has this chip on his shoulder. And I don't know why he would, because like why and why is he keeping a secret from her? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, but the little girl was great in it.
[00:17:08] I tried to place her, says, oh yeah, he's in The Walking Dead, is where I know her from. Like recent seasons? Cause I haven't watched it for like six years. She's Rick Grimes' daughter Judith. Oh, wow. She grew up that much in the show? Okay.
[00:17:24] Yeah, there's a part where the show flashed forwards five years. But yeah, no, it's, but there's some parts too that tug at my heart strings when she's in his hospital room and she's like, I need you daddy. I'm like, oh man. Yeah. Manifulative motherfucker.
[00:17:46] But I mean, hey, John, why is your wife Emily have like the smallest voice part in it? What the fuck is that about? John. Emily, call me. Yes. I'll get you bigger parts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to say that. Yeah, there's a cute movie.
[00:18:10] I think the CGI characters look great. There's a part with the bear Lewis who's voiced by Lewis Gossett Jr. And he's sitting on the bench at the end and you can see the wind blowing his fur and it looked amazing. Yeah, I saw that.
[00:18:29] I saw the drive-in so I didn't get to like see the detail. You know, I was like hundreds of feet away from the screen. But yeah. Yeah. Michael Chiquino, his gore for it, I thought was really good. Yeah. He has a very repetitive note thing going on
[00:18:45] between the Batman and this, I think. Like. I always like his stuff. Because I mean, I saw Spider-Man Homecoming this week in the theaters and you know, I'll talk about it when we've been watching, but he does that with his Spider-Man stuff too.
[00:19:04] The theme for Spidey is always kind of in the back of every piece that's playing. But I think it helps land. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't bad. I was just like, huh? I just noticed a pattern going on. Cause yeah, with like, I like the Batman score,
[00:19:19] but it does have, like joke is that it does have like this like quick humble bowl three note thing that gets recycled a lot. And then yeah, if kind of has this thing too that pops in constantly throughout the movie,
[00:19:30] but and then like a weird like Tina Turner, a lot of Tina Turner references music wise. Didn't see that coming. Not sure that's on kids radar, but yeah. Well you know, John Krasinski had that great lip sync battle where he was Tina Turner.
[00:19:51] Oh, maybe it's that little, maybe he's, he might must be a real big fan. Must be? And did you get the Rod Stewart in it? Remind me, cause I think I did, but I forgot it already. The faces, ooh la la. Oh yeah. Yep.
[00:20:06] Cause it actually happens, he flips the album and I go, oh my God, there's the faces. And then it's the closing song, which is fitting for the movie. The course is I wish I knew what I know now when I was younger. So it works.
[00:20:21] I mean, it's not Rod Stewart singing it, but it's his band. It's the ending that reminds me like it was, I thought it was weird that she, does she forget Calvin for like a second for some reason and then has to be reminded of him? I don't remember.
[00:20:43] Nevermind. I literally just thought like two years ago. I mean two years. Two minutes ago. An hour, yeah an hour and a half ago. Yeah. Yeah, so a couple of days ago. I remember, yeah I remember getting to the end
[00:20:54] and there's like a part where she goes back to her grandma's place or whatever and she goes up to that room and she has to like remember the guy she's been talking to the whole movie. It's like what? How did she forget him already?
[00:21:09] I don't remember that part. She goes into like the apartment that she's been sitting in and suddenly it's just like a normal apartment with nobody there. Oh no, I think she was thinking about where did everybody go? No. That's what I got from it.
[00:21:25] Yeah, I mean I thought she was saying they're going like, I know it's like everyone's supposed to be here but I don't know why. Like yeah, nevermind. It kind of dovetails into something else. I watched recently that's a little similar so I'll talk about that later. But.
[00:21:42] Yeah, there's not like a lot of conflict or... Yeah, it's just kind of like, hey, let's find these ifs homes and yeah. Yeah, that's okay too. Family movies are fine every once in a while. I appreciate that there's no crazy violence or tossing in it.
[00:21:59] It's just a family movie. Yeah, it's nice that it's not one of those like zany, minion style, just loud nonsense movies. It's like a quiet, almost like a throwback to like 80s family films, like Never In A Story or something.
[00:22:16] Yeah, if it was a little darker for sure. And you know, my kid really wants to see the new Garfield movie and I've already been reading reviews of it and they say he's super hyper and crazy. I go that's not Garfield at all.
[00:22:31] But you know, so I have fear for that one. Some executives like he's bummed about Mondays and just lounges around like a sloth eating lasagna. That's what makes that fun. We need to have him be like wired in. I wonder, I keep on when I saw the trailer
[00:22:49] because Kellen wants to see it really bad because he's been watching the Garfield and Fran cartoons and I go, oh man, I think he's gonna be disappointed because you know, in that one, he's like, oh, dude, leave me alone.
[00:23:05] Yeah, I wonder how many pop songs they're gonna have in it. And then, you know, then at the end, they're gonna sing and dance and that's the ending. Pretty much. We could do this. I also wonder what executive was like. You know what? What's Garfield's family like?
[00:23:27] Does he have a dad? Yeah, he does have a dad. I think we're on to something. Yeah, cool. Get Chris Pratt and Sam Jackson to voice both of them. Start shooting next week. Done. Rendering or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, is Jim Davis dead?
[00:23:46] Is that why he has no creative input? You know, I don't think so. No, thanks. I know Charles Schultz is. Yeah, yeah, he died in 2000, I believe. But no joke, I think he retired and he died a week later. Yeah. Fuck. Don't quit your day job. Yep.
[00:24:10] Hey, this is a big movie news of the week. It's Real News! Criterion and Janice films have been bought by Indian Paintbrush Studio, which you'll know, Brad, because they distribute all of Wes Anderson films. I do know that. And the statement they released
[00:24:38] is that they're still gonna just keep trucking on, trucking on with what they make. And it's just a way for them to kind of collaborate and maybe, you know, bring more movies into the criterion fold and make the movie going experience that much better.
[00:24:57] And hopefully get the most recent Wes Anderson films finally on Criterion. Oh, I'm sure it's gonna happen. I wonder if, like, there's a cost associated to it before, but now that it's under his banner, like he could just do it for free? I don't know.
[00:25:15] Yeah, you know, I guess I was thinking, because, you know, Guillermo del Toro, his new stuff comes out on Criterion, even though it's streaming, I wonder if he has some sort of deal with Netflix, you know, where he says, hey, I'll put it on Netflix,
[00:25:28] but it also has to be available physically on Criterion. Probably he's got that kind of clout. Yeah, because I noticed that about his movies. And I think the same with Scorsese. You know, no matter what I think about Scorsese, his new movie still show up on Criterion, so.
[00:25:46] Yeah, I feel like he's one of those directors, like yeah, Criterion will put everything out if they can. Because there's that Taxi Driver still coming out. Like it's not one of my favorite movies, but it is like a cinema classic. But like it's one that, you know,
[00:25:59] they've done Raging Bull and everything. They should do his Taxi Driver on Criterion. So I'm like, I wonder if I should hold out a little longer instead of getting like this four case Taxi Driver that's coming out. Yeah, I don't know.
[00:26:12] You know, a lot of it too is the studios that they're produced by. I don't know what that one is. Yeah, either do I. I'm guessing Warner Brothers, because Scorsese is a big Warner Brothers guy. No, maybe now. I don't know back then
[00:26:27] if he was like tied to a studio or not. True. I don't know. Yeah, that's about it for the movie news. I mean, I guess what's interesting has a deal with Netflix too, because he did the wonderful world of Henry Sugar short stuff. So yeah, that's.
[00:26:44] Then I'm sure he has cloud too. Like because his Criterion releases are really good. So sweet. Hey, we watch things throughout the week. This is when I call what we've been watching. So yeah, this is the stuff we've been watching. Brad, what'd you watch this week?
[00:27:08] Yeah, so let's see. I saw a bunch of stuff. I actually saw the original movie we planned to watch this week, Strangers Chapter One. I saw that too. So I'll say that for the end of my list so we can talk about it together. But other than that,
[00:27:25] I decided to finally watch some of the Planet of the Apes movies that I haven't seen. Because Kingdom was pretty awesome. And I was like, OK, I'll give these a shot. So I watched Dawn and War. And Dawn's pretty good. War is pretty awesome.
[00:27:43] Yeah, I think they're great movies. Yeah. Although at this point, they both run together, so I don't really know what you're talking about. But I'll skip ahead. So after that, I decided to watch the original Planet of the Apes with Charlton Heston. And that was underwhelming.
[00:28:02] Yeah, it's OK. I know Zach loves those movies. Yeah. But what's cool about like the modern ones is besides like all the fancy special effects and everything is that I'm watching those movies and it definitely feels like they made a movie based on a story.
[00:28:19] And when I watched the original Planet of the Apes, it feels like here's a book that they adapted into a movie based on trying to like please a movie star. Yeah. So yeah, it's like Charlton Heston's character in the movie is like way too suave
[00:28:39] for no reason, you know? And he's like they're all like NASA guys or ANSA or whatever. They don't act like scientists at all. Bear. Yeah. I've never been that enamored with it. I mean, it's a cool concept. And I mean, I think it's more well known
[00:28:58] for obviously the ending. When I when I watch it now, I haven't watched it probably in 10 years. But when I watch it, I just think of the Simpsons. I can't help it. Yeah. Like it's more prevalent as a pop culture icon
[00:29:11] than it is actually sitting and watching a movie. Agreed. Yeah. And it's rated G and there's like Dude's Dongs like flapping around to the water. I'm like, this is like this is not Disney Plus, man. That's why I find it favorite things right now
[00:29:25] is like poor things on Disney Plus. But obviously I have the adult plan and no kids. So here it's blocked on yours. Helen's Disney Plus is way different than mine. And I mean, I really don't care what he watches per se. But yeah, he
[00:29:45] Helen definitely his Disney Plus is a lot different than mine. Yeah. But I think it's funny is like one day there could be like a malfunction at Disney Plus corporate center and accounts get crossed and suddenly you can watch poor things. Yeah. So but yeah, again, like Planet
[00:30:03] Dave's also like I appreciate like the makeup effects at the time are actually really awesome. Yo, yeah, stuff like that. But yeah, it's literally a movie like they wander around a desert and then they get captured and it's like
[00:30:15] you're stuck in a cage and then you go to a courtroom and like plead your case and you're back in the cage and you escape again back in the courtroom. Yeah. Uh. Yeah. And then let's see, a couple of quick things.
[00:30:31] I watched some of the stuff like my favorite Martian from 1999. The movie with Christopher Lloyd and Jeff Daniels. Yeah, I saw it in the theater once and thought it sucked. I was like, I'll give it a chance. See what I think it's like way inappropriate of a movie.
[00:30:52] I don't remember anything about it. Like there's a part where, yeah. So Jeff Daniels is like a television producer and he's trying to like, you know, make his way up the ladder at the network and the lead anchor woman is Elizabeth Hurley
[00:31:10] and he's got a crush on her. He does and I love Elizabeth Hurley. Yeah. She's actually like really good in the movie. But yeah, she's like the daughter of the station boss. And so he screws up the assignment, gets fired
[00:31:24] and on the way home, like the Martian crashes. And it's Christopher Lloyd and he's all zany and has like a his suit is like a sentient being called Zoot. So it also talks. I don't remember anything about this movie. Yeah. But like the shocking parts are like later.
[00:31:47] So it's called his name is Mark, Uncle Martin, and he takes like these gum balls to like put on the appearance of a human when he's like this weird Martian body and also allows him to double as other people. So one point he impersonates Jeff Daniels
[00:32:06] and shows up nude when his co-worker arrives for some reason played by Darryl Hannah. And so he like forces himself on her and kisses her. And yeah, like he's being awkward because he's like, I'm trying to I hope you're not my sister.
[00:32:23] You know, he doesn't know like her relationship to him, but he's trying to like pretend to be Jeff Daniels naked. And then later on they do the same thing to Elizabeth Hurley's character. But then Walsh Sean is like a government guy
[00:32:38] who finds her tied up in her dressing room because, you know, they're doubling her on TV. And Walsh Sean's like, oh, wait, she might be the alien. I should inspect her and like she's all tied up and they like he closes the door to the dressing room.
[00:32:53] You're like, oh, creep. Yeah. Yeah. Again, Disney movie. Literally a Disney movie. And then there's one part where they're in the Martians spaceship, which with a click of a button can like resize itself. And so it gets shrunk down really small
[00:33:11] or no, they're in his car, but they use their device on his car. So his car gets small and they go through like the sewer system and then up through a toilet. And then they get stuck in the toilet
[00:33:19] and then there's like this huge fat dude comes into the bathroom and has to take a shit. And so like there's this long drawn out like 2001 music as he's sitting down the toilet and they like they know what's going to happen. Yeah, really gross.
[00:33:33] And then they like press the button in large it and like blows up his house and knocks his naked ass out on the lawn. Yeah. What you're telling me, I've seen the film. I don't remember anything from it. Yeah, I did it come out.
[00:33:48] 1999, like the Matrix year, Star Wars episode one summer. So it's definitely been 25 years since they've seen it. Yeah, it came and went pretty quietly. But yeah, I remember being like, I don't remember anything anything from this movie other than like I saw it
[00:34:05] and I was like dreadfully underwhelmed being a huge Christopher Lloyd fan. Like I didn't I never saw the show. So yeah. I was like, oh my God, this stuff has not aged well at all. Even for 1999. Yeah. And you know, sometimes you forgive movies.
[00:34:23] I do in the 80s, you know, sometimes. But sometimes it's impossible to forgive them. Yeah. And like, yeah, I mean, it's not that bad, but still like. Like it's a woman tied up and you shut the door to inspector body. Yeah, like that insinuation.
[00:34:43] Like, yeah, that's like not great. Yeah. What else? I watched DuckTales, the movie Treasure of the Lost Lamp. Hell, yeah. Which I think I saw as a kid, but yeah, definitely haven't seen it since then. And that's actually like a really good movie. It is.
[00:35:02] Well, again, I love DuckTales. I have the complete set on DVD that comes with that movie. Yeah, I mean, the show is great. But yeah, the movie is just like I love the fact that. You know, like the answer, the henchman to with the magician,
[00:35:19] who's also voiced by Christopher Lloyd. He like becomes the guy who gets the lamp and does all the wishes for most of the movie. Like that was a fun twist. And then it's really sweet at the end when you know, he doesn't just give the genius freedom,
[00:35:34] but he like makes him a real boy like Pinocchio. Yeah. Like Scrooge gets his little like, you know, gold castle or whatever. But yeah, he also like uses his last wish to just turn into another one of the Huey Do and Louis Ducks. So. It's definitely a.
[00:35:52] Better movie than some of the other stuff around that time. Yeah. And I think it's on the strength of the show because the show is still really good. Even I keep on hoping that would come out on Blu-ray because I got
[00:36:05] rescue Rangers, the complete series on Blu-ray that came out a couple of years ago. I'm surprised they didn't put DuckTales or Darkwing Duck out either. I know. DuckTales was a big thing. And like this, you know, when I watched was in Christine HD.
[00:36:20] So it's it's it's ready to go. But yeah, it's it's you look at anything like, oh, this is like another shitty straight to video thing. But I remember it played in theaters. Oh, for sure.
[00:36:36] And yeah, it's actually like a pretty solid like it could be like one of those like prestige Disney films. I agree. And then, yeah, so watch the EWOX, the battle for Endor. Right. Yeah, tough to watch because like the production value and the characters
[00:36:57] and everything other than that you watch screams very much like Star Crash or. Like any Star Wars knockoff from the era. But. Watching it like took me back to like that the feeling of that era of Star Wars.
[00:37:15] So like on that level alone, I was like, oh, this is nice. But yeah, if it didn't have Star Wars on it, it would be like, oh, this is like. A mystery science, your 3000 movie. Yeah, like the principle from a breakfast club is like the dad.
[00:37:33] And then yeah, there's just like. Wizards and things that I guess Star Wars has wizards, but because they're Jedi. But this is like literally a wizard type stuff. Like it has more in common with like Conan the Barbarian fantasy. Yeah, like Conan the Destroyer almost.
[00:37:54] Yeah, like Conan the Destroyer almost production design wise. Yeah, with Star Wars in it. Yeah. And the last thing I saw is out in theaters. It's called I Saw the TV Glow. Huh. That one looks interesting. It's interesting. I could not really follow the story that much.
[00:38:15] It's very imaginative and nonlinear and artistic. And I think it's about these two loners in school who bond over this TV show called the Pink Opaque. And, you know, the one girl is very into it and uses it as an escape from reality, whereas
[00:38:41] Justice Smith's character is into it, but he's using it just to be friends with her and also kind of escape his family. But also like when Push comes to shove, he's not dedicated to it as she is. So eventually it gets canceled and she disappears
[00:39:01] and he she invites him to like, you know, run away with her. But he's like, I want to stay with my family. Like I don't I don't want to just disappear. And so the rest of the movie kind of like takes place like 10 years later
[00:39:16] and then 20 years later of solving this mystery of where she went. And I really just think it's like this kind of like artistic exploration of like being an artist and what that identity is because around like eventually he's an old man and there's like a reflection of like,
[00:39:36] maybe I took the wrong path, like maybe I should have gone to the Pink Opaque with her because all I've done with my life is like, you know, watch my parents die and then take their house and like get a job and start my own family.
[00:39:48] And I still work he's like 60 years old. He's still working at like this fun arcade. Yeah. And she comes back at one point and explains like she's actually been in the show, but you're still not sure if it's like she's telling the truth or not.
[00:40:06] Yeah. And it's like super moody and artistic and imaginative and creative and all that stuff. And I just yeah. I couldn't tell if it's supposed to be a horror movie or drama. I'd say it's more of a drama, but just have some like horror elements.
[00:40:22] You know, there's like some mysterious, like supernatural stuff going on with like the Pink Opaque show and just the mood of it. Like there's like these big bat or baddies like monsters of the week in it that are kind of like sometimes scary, sometimes just weird.
[00:40:46] Yeah. But I think it's like really well put the soundtrack is awesome. Like the visuals are interesting, but just like the storytelling part of it is like trying to follow it. I was just like, I don't what are we trying to do with this movie?
[00:40:59] And then just kind of ends up abruptly and you're like, what was I supposed to get out of this? I don't know. I just watch like a 24 movie to me. Yeah. Yeah. And just double checking. That no, I talked about Pullman with Zach.
[00:41:20] Yeah. So then I watched Strangers Chapter One like you did. Yeah, I don't think you liked it very much. Nope. You weren't blown away by it either, though. No, I wasn't blown away because, you know, one of the things I liked
[00:41:36] about the original, the Strangers is there like this uneasiness throughout it. And I don't know. I liked that in the original, the couple was, you know, breaking up. So is there already this tension to it? This one, they're kind of happy being together. And.
[00:42:04] And the dude with kind of a douche who happened to be named Ryan. I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah, I mean, I still liked how it was shot. I thought it looked cool. But it had a lot of the same beats of the first one.
[00:42:26] And then they just threw in kind of a Texas chainsaw. A. Brontern thing where it's some sort of, you know, Hick Town where everybody's weird in it. And. I didn't get the vibe that that would be a town in Oregon. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, that's like.
[00:42:50] I did appreciate like there's some like really strong moments of tension. But then like everything else is kind of like every dumb thing. I've ever seen in these movies before, like the couple is completely clueless and unable to help themselves.
[00:43:06] And when they finally do, they've completely botched it up. Yeah, they're kind of unlikeable. Yeah. A lot of what they're doing is just like, it just feels like someone wrote on a page like, well, they got to do something. So here's a conversation that you know, too, really.
[00:43:25] So let me ask you a question, Brad. I wouldn't do this to my wife if I was in some strange area, I would not leave her home by herself. Yeah. Like, you know, and I'm not saying that, you know, my wife can't take care of herself,
[00:43:39] but she has no way means to get out. She doesn't know where she's at. I want to just be like, well, I'm going to go get some food, you know, in the town. Fuck you. Yeah. Why can't they like why wouldn't they go together?
[00:43:50] That was one of my thoughts too. You know, you're in the creepy town. Everyone's acting weird and hostile. Like, why would you? You're in the stranger's house. Like, why would you stay there at all? Yeah. And then they had so many chances to save themselves.
[00:44:06] I want more people to die. And you wait the whole movie for like stuff like that to happen. And it's just like stab, stab, fall over, movies over. Congratulations. I just sat through all that for that. Oh, there's going to be two sequels. Fuck you. Yeah.
[00:44:27] I want to see some carnage. Like you could do carnage on the couples on likeable and then the three killers are unlikable, like just as killers, you know, got the whole part where he's got the
[00:44:43] shotgun to the back of her head and he's just like, oh, I'll do it. I'll do it. Like, you kidding me? Yeah. I mean, I would have blown her away because she's already tried to kill me. Fuck you, bitch.
[00:44:53] Like, I'm not going to sit there and negotiate with you. Yeah. There's so many times where they sat there and like tried to like get answers from them like, no, just kill all three. Like they clearly shown you that. All they want to do is hurt you.
[00:45:08] There's no mystery here. And because of, yeah, I guess it maybe was a little hesitant because they killed that innocent guy. But I guess. But she definitely, you know, that's not a person who's innocent. The homeowner, the locksmith guy? No, the lady in the mask.
[00:45:27] And to honestly, if I found a shotgun like that, I would just walk out the front door. Like, okay, try to come and get me. I will shoot you. Yeah. They like, I thought it was a cool moment.
[00:45:39] Like in the movie, I'm like, oh, this movie is finally going to turn and get good when you're like, she's got the axe or the backhoe or whatever. And he, you know, he think he's upstairs and she's going to get slaughtered.
[00:45:50] He comes down and he's finally got, I thought that was like, oh, cool. They're finally going to turn the table on these guys. And not only do they leave the axe behind for no reason, but yeah, he says, I have a ton of ammo.
[00:46:03] And then he's in the car. He's like, oh, I've only got two shells left. And like, and then when they smash the Jeep, like he. The Jeep gets smashed into the tree and then he doesn't just take the truck that's abandoned and running with the keys in it.
[00:46:18] He just runs up the hill to shoot someone else. And the dude in the mask was pretty fast. I mean, he dodged that shotgun blast. Yeah. But I still had, I thought fun with it. I just, I just had a couple of nip, biggie things.
[00:46:33] One, I wanted it to be more violent, but you know. Yeah. And also like that part where she's before he comes home with the food and she sees the one girl in the mask for the first time and then runs
[00:46:46] the hide at the closet and they set up this fake out of like someone's walking to the closet door and it's actually him. It's like, who comes home with the food and doesn't know what's happening and then just like silently walks around very slowly
[00:47:01] upstairs to the closet to surprise her. Yeah. And how did he know she was in there? Yeah, like did he open the door and be like, I don't immediately see her so I guess I got to explore the house instead of just saying like, hey babe, I'm here.
[00:47:18] Wait a minute. Maybe he's one of the strangers and we just don't know it yet. Well, I guess two masked men. He offed himself then, I guess. No, it's part of us. Oh, he's not really dead. She's in the hospital by herself and he's alive. Maybe. Yeah.
[00:47:39] And then she's laying in that body pit of like other victims and then the girl in the mask hasn't like left for more than like 30 seconds and she starts calling like, like maybe wait like half an hour or something to do that. Make that noise. So dumb.
[00:48:03] She's really pretty though. Yeah, well, pretty ain't smart. Yeah, I just want to see more horror movies where the characters are actually smart and not intentionally dumb so that the writers can put them in situations that Well, you know, the biggest mistake they did is they
[00:48:26] didn't have an old lady explained to them. Oh, yeah. That's what's missing. The strangers in town. Yeah. Like how many times of that? I don't know. I'm guessing it was one of the masked people knock on their
[00:48:40] door and then just like run to the end of the street and creep them out. Like after the second one would be like, come on babe, we're going. We're going to walk. We're going to walk out here. This is stupid. We should not trust any of these people.
[00:48:54] Greed. Sorry. What else did you watch? That's fine. I watched the mask of Fu Manchu, which is a horror film from 1932. And it is definitely a B movie, but there's some like charm to it. Like I can't describe it. Boris Karloff plays Fu Manchu and he's this evil
[00:49:26] doctor that wants this mask that will give him powers. Yeah, exactly. But I mean the title doesn't make any sense because it's called the mask of Fu Manchu and he's looking for this mask of Genghis Khan because he's Fu Manchu, but you know, whatever.
[00:49:49] And it's, you know, of course there's this racist undertone to it because Boris Karloff is playing an Asian man. But I will say he doesn't do the stereotypical Asian voice, which is nice. He just sounds like Boris Karloff. But there is this undertone to torturing and sexuality
[00:50:12] that they did before they really cracked down on the haze code. So it's a fun movie to watch. And Warner Archive did a great job on the restoration of it. I'm always blown away with a movie that's, you know, 90 years old and it looks pristine.
[00:50:34] And they actually found the original uncensored version and the inserts they put in are from 16 millimeter. So you can tell the stuff that ended up being cut because obviously the quality isn't quite as good. But it's cool that it's represented that way and it
[00:50:51] has a couple really cool vintage cartoons on it. So yeah, if you're looking for kind of a silly 1930s horror film, it's a fun one. So I went and saw Spider-Man Homecoming for part of Spider Mondays. And what they didn't say when I got the ticket is
[00:51:15] it was an extended cut that I have never seen before. There was more lines. There was a part with the vulture that was longer. I mean, it wasn't anything that affected the story, but scenes definitely were trimmed. So it's kind of cool seeing it.
[00:51:40] And it's nice to see kind of a stripped down version of Spider-Man again. Just like when we saw the original Spider-Man in theaters, you know, it's cool to kind of go back to that where he's only fighting the vulture and he's still trying to figure
[00:51:57] out how to be a superhero. And Michael Keaton is so great in that movie. How he figures out Peter Parker and Spider-Man are one and the same is one of my most favorite scenes in any Spider-Man movie. Yeah, that was like a great casting choice to...
[00:52:17] Yeah, because you know what's great about him in that is you sympathize with him and he's not unlikeable. You know, you get why he's doing it. And then at the end, he's kind of undone by his own greed.
[00:52:32] But he has that chance at the end to where the Matt Gargon who's going to be the Scorpion eventually, you know, he wants to know who Spider-Man is and he won't give him up because not only did he save his daughter's life, he saved his life.
[00:52:49] So he's not 100% a bad guy. Yeah. I think their reinvention of the vulture is like one of the smartest things that the Marvel Cinematic Universe has done. Oh, I agree because... Because yeah, like I don't know him as well as you do,
[00:53:02] but like it just seems like, hey, it's this old guy in a vulture costume terrorizing Spider-Man. Is that accurate? Yeah, it's 100% what it is. But yeah, tying him into like this disgruntled city employee affected by the New York battle, you know,
[00:53:23] and then turning the tables and being like this... Yeah, he gets his name because he's scrapping and stuff. Yeah, he's like feeding on the scraps of like... All the, I guess, I don't know what to call it,
[00:53:39] but like the fallout of all the stuff that the A-list heroes are up to. Yeah. So I agree. It's pretty awesome, yeah. Yeah, and then it helps that, you know, an actor of Michael Keaton's caliber is playing him because like I said, that scene where...
[00:53:57] Because there's this turn and it's really cool in the way the director, John Watts does it, is there at that stoplight and when he figures it out, it turns green and it casts green over it like the vulture and he says that line, good old Spider-Man.
[00:54:15] And I love the... You get in my way again, I'll kill you and your family. I'm like, oh man, I fucking love that part. Yeah. And it's a... Sorry, go ahead. There's also that part too where, you know, early on he's...
[00:54:31] I'm just this guy who's taken advantage of, you know, I'm just helping my family and I've built this business and, you know, I'm a little bad but I'm not, you know, a psycho or anything. But then like when his...
[00:54:43] One guy on his crew starts to like screw up and he just like... I forget what the device is but he basically disintegrates him, he's just like... Yeah. Okay, well that sucks. Yeah, well he says I thought that was an anti-gravity one. He's like, no it's over there.
[00:54:58] He says okay, you're the shocker now. Yeah, he's just like moving on. So yeah, no it is really fun to see. And I love seeing those movies on the big screen again because how immersive it gets because you forget how loud
[00:55:15] the scenes are and how much more you can hear when you're in a theater setting, you know? That reminds me, I also saw Batman 89 again at the Alamo and I too was hearing like... There's this... There were early on where you think it's...
[00:55:32] Bruce and his parents walking through the alley but it's like, you know, in the future it's a different couple. But there, you can hear the... Some of the junkies like in the background just mumbling stuff. Like almost like the ADR guy was just having a fun time
[00:55:46] just saying random shit. Yeah. Over there. You know I always think back to when we saw Friday 13th, the final chapter in the theater where you could hear Jason's grunts more and it was just cool. Yeah. Yeah, and yeah, the last thing I... Well, I watched Two Things.
[00:56:08] I watched Aliens again because my kid for some reason is on He Likes the Aliens. That movie's fun. And I... My random movie that I have that I haven't watched yet it was The Three Amigos. And I forgot how stupid the movie is.
[00:56:27] In a good way, not like in a bad way. It's really like zany. You know, I don't know how else to describe it. The premise is silly and Steve Martin is stupid in it but funny. There's this line that I love.
[00:56:46] The woman who sends for him, she says, I'm falling for the not smart one. And her son says, which one is that? They're all stupid. So yeah, that's just a fun movie. Yeah, I haven't seen it in a long time. I didn't know it was on Blu-ray.
[00:57:02] Who put that out? I don't know. I got an old one. I think... I want to say it was Sony because it's an Orion picture. But it's like a pair of bones. Just hey, the movie's on Blu-ray. Here you go. There's a special feature on it.
[00:57:22] It's only about 10 minutes long and deleted scenes. And it came with a booklet that was an article from Empire Magazine. So yeah, it's not totally bare bones. I found it on VHS last year. I'll give it a watch again someday. Yeah, it's a fun movie.
[00:57:44] Next week is a film I'm really looking forward to. It's called The Biotta. Oh shit. Oh shit, yes! So that'd be fun. Something I've been super looking forward to. Right, I know. And I heard it really good. Looking forward to that. Yeah, the Esquire is actually getting it.
[00:58:09] So can't wait to watch it there. I know of all the movies they're filling up their slate with. And I'm just gonna say it because I'm really close to finalizing it. But Jean-Claude Van Damme's Dam Van is gonna screen at the Esquire on June 12th. Oh fuck yeah.
[00:58:28] And I'm trying to get UHF to screen with it. What time are you gonna do that? On June 12th, I got nominated for Officer of the Year again. So I have to go to a cocktail thing. What time? It's 4 to 7.30. I was thinking 7 o'clock. Okay.
[00:58:52] You can dip early. Maybe if they do the award first, then I can totally leave. Okay. Because the only thing is that if I win it, I'll have to be there. I mean, by 7.30, if UHF ends up screening with it, Van Damme's 35 minutes long.
[00:59:13] So it'll be like a 30 minute buffer. You've seen Van Damme so whatever. But yeah, if not, I might just grab a bunch of other filmmakers and screen their films. But yeah, I'm trying to get that to work. But yeah, it's just a... I was thinking 7 o'clock.
[00:59:29] And the thing is we're gonna film a short film before and after it. So hopefully that works out. But yeah. Very cool. We'll see how that goes. Yeah, keep us posted. Yeah.
[00:59:45] It's supposed to be a real nurse presents JCVD plus UHF screening as a goodbye to the Esquire. But yeah, it's a long process to do. Awesome. Well, until next week, we'll see you at the movies.
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