Now this looks like a job for peen!! Ft. M&M

[00:00:00] This podcast is powered by The Plug.

[00:00:38] We know.

[00:00:38] Are we going?

[00:00:40] As long as we know that they know that we know that they know.

[00:00:44] Everybody knows then.

[00:00:47] What?

[00:00:48] This fucking guy.

[00:00:49] Are we watching fucking TikTok videos right now?

[00:00:52] No, this guy's just going into an epileptic fucking coma or something.

[00:00:56] He's working baby here.

[00:00:57] Anyway.

[00:00:58] Fucking green screen over here.

[00:01:00] Just go ahead and put the thing in timeout already.

[00:01:02] Already?

[00:01:03] He might as well unplug his shit.

[00:01:07] I'm just thinking about my favorite song.

[00:01:08] Oh, here we go.

[00:01:09] By Jay-Z.

[00:01:11] Concrete jungle wet dream tomatoes.

[00:01:15] Yeah.

[00:01:16] There's nothing you can't do.

[00:01:19] So stupid.

[00:01:20] Pretty sure those are the lyrics.

[00:01:21] Yeah, it's like New York by Jay-Z right?

[00:01:27] Did you say muffin tomato?

[00:01:29] No, it's concrete jungle wet dream tomato.

[00:01:36] Wet dream tomatoes.

[00:01:37] Crazy white people.

[00:01:39] That makes sense.

[00:01:41] Concrete jungle.

[00:01:42] Crazy white people.

[00:01:43] I mean, I really felt Alicia.

[00:01:44] It's poetic.

[00:01:45] I really felt Alicia Keys when she said wet dream tomatoes.

[00:01:48] Me too, bro.

[00:01:49] She was like speaking from the heart.

[00:01:50] That's a juicy tomato.

[00:01:55] What?

[00:01:57] What?

[00:01:58] What did I say?

[00:02:00] Uh, I don't know.

[00:02:01] What did you say?

[00:02:02] I mean, it wasn't as bad as the-

[00:02:04] Hey, assholes.

[00:02:07] Oh, we forgot to tell you.

[00:02:09] We're doing a-

[00:02:10] We got a-

[00:02:12] We got a-

[00:02:14] Can we punch someone?

[00:02:16] Yeah, go ahead.

[00:02:17] We got a-

[00:02:17] Hey.

[00:02:20] Uh-

[00:02:20] Remember when-

[00:02:21] In the gallery.

[00:02:23] When-

[00:02:23] Audience, shut the hell up.

[00:02:24] When-

[00:02:24] When-

[00:02:24] When-

[00:02:24] When-

[00:02:24] When-

[00:02:24] When-

[00:02:24] When-

[00:02:25] When-

[00:02:25] When-

[00:02:42] When-

[00:02:43] That's true.

[00:02:45] That's-

[00:02:46] Mmm.

[00:02:47] It's borderline right there.

[00:02:48] It's kinda true.

[00:02:49] Angry sex, makeup-

[00:02:50] Okay, so some people call it makeup sex.

[00:02:52] Yeah, hold on.

[00:02:52] I was gonna say, you better-

[00:02:53] Angry sex is the best thing.

[00:02:55] You better change the description.

[00:02:57] Well, cause we were talking about-

[00:02:58] Yeah, how did we get here?

[00:03:00] I don't know.

[00:03:02] Cause what you were kinda describing-

[00:03:04] I know what's that?

[00:03:05] Rhymed a lot-

[00:03:06] An awful lot with grape.

[00:03:11] That's all I gotta say.

[00:03:12] You brought up grape-

[00:03:13] Now it's-

[00:03:14] Consensual hate sex.

[00:03:15] So you've never had hate sex?

[00:03:17] Wow.

[00:03:17] You've never had hate sex?

[00:03:18] Bro.

[00:03:20] Consensual hate sex.

[00:03:21] It usually turns to makeup sex, but you've never had hate sex?

[00:03:24] Maybe with myself.

[00:03:25] I'm like-

[00:03:28] Fasturbation.

[00:03:29] Alright, Mike Tyson.

[00:03:33] He's beaten his-

[00:03:34] Me, John.

[00:03:35] Put the brachio down, alright?

[00:03:38] Alright, bro.

[00:03:39] Put the anduli down.

[00:03:41] Get him some gabagoo, yeah.

[00:03:43] Put the old gabagoo down, alright?

[00:03:45] The brachio, yeah.

[00:03:46] The brachio guy.

[00:03:47] Jesus Christ.

[00:03:48] He's beating his meat over there.

[00:03:51] Gonna go over there and fucking blow a gasket, eh?

[00:03:54] Rocky in a meat freezer over here.

[00:03:57] Shit.

[00:03:59] Oh my god.

[00:04:00] Technically it has to be like-

[00:04:01] I'm gonna fucking-

[00:04:02] I'm gonna fucking-

[00:04:02] Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan.

[00:04:03] Turn that shit off, bro.

[00:04:05] I can deal with it.

[00:04:05] Then you gotta yell Adrian after.

[00:04:07] And maybe I'll fight a ball.

[00:04:09] I did it!

[00:04:10] Adrian.

[00:04:11] Adrian.

[00:04:13] Yo, your man went full retard in that movie.

[00:04:15] You understand that?

[00:04:16] He got punched enough to go full retard.

[00:04:26] Okay, so this is like-

[00:05:04] This is the first time we've been able to sit on the stoop since the Olympics finished up.

[00:05:09] Can we talk about that for a second?

[00:05:10] Shit, since it started.

[00:05:12] Like, America's dominance, first of all.

[00:05:14] I like volleyball.

[00:05:16] And then-

[00:05:16] And volleyball.

[00:05:17] Do you guys remember how they like literally made up rules to keep Simone Biles from winning gold last Olympics?

[00:05:24] Because they knew it would be too easy.

[00:05:25] So they made up where her moves are moves this year.

[00:05:30] So it's called the Biles.

[00:05:32] And there's like three moves where she's the only one that could do them, but they called them the Biles.

[00:05:38] And then someone from Team America started doing Biles' moves with Biles on the team.

[00:05:44] And that's not allowed?

[00:05:47] Not before this Olympics.

[00:05:49] They literally were like, we don't know how to judge this.

[00:05:51] No one else can do it.

[00:05:52] We don't even know how to judge this move.

[00:05:54] Bro, three girls tried to do Biles' moves and hurt themselves.

[00:05:58] Yeah?

[00:05:59] They hurt themselves.

[00:06:00] They like literally crippled themselves.

[00:06:01] It said they'd need a backyotomy.

[00:06:03] And then-

[00:06:04] They're like, hey, Latrell.

[00:06:05] That's what I do, baby.

[00:06:07] Hey, Latrell.

[00:06:08] I literally think they should never do the host country is the country that owns the Olympics.

[00:06:14] Because France did everything they could penalty-wise to put any team that was a contact sport or a team sport in that position.

[00:06:23] And they were like, no hijabs.

[00:06:25] Yeah.

[00:06:30] Oh, the pole vaulting? Is that what you're talking about?

[00:06:34] No.

[00:06:34] Oh, do that.

[00:06:35] The opening ceremony.

[00:06:37] The opening ceremonies were fucking amazing.

[00:06:40] It was pretty anti-creasty.

[00:06:42] Also, the dude fucking lost a medal because his well endowment fucked everything up for him.

[00:06:51] You said that was in the pole vault?

[00:06:53] Yeah.

[00:06:53] That's possibly like the worst time.

[00:06:56] His balls scraped the bar.

[00:06:58] Everything zoomed in to that one point.

[00:07:00] His balls literally touched the bar.

[00:07:02] That might be the worst event for your balls to be showing.

[00:07:05] Why did he lose?

[00:07:06] Well, if you look here-

[00:07:07] His balls literally.

[00:07:08] You can see-

[00:07:09] Uh, well-

[00:07:11] He had at least three and a half centimeters, but then his balls-

[00:07:14] He definitely hit the bar there.

[00:07:16] He definitely hit the bar there.

[00:07:18] I can guarantee you like any major news source just didn't even bring up that-

[00:07:24] That-

[00:07:24] That-

[00:07:24] Particative incident.

[00:07:26] They mentioned it with words, not pictures.

[00:07:28] He's not even mentioned in the Olympics anymore.

[00:07:30] Yeah.

[00:07:30] All that hard work, they're just like-

[00:07:32] We don't know who that is.

[00:07:33] He goes down in the anals of disappointment.

[00:07:35] Anals.

[00:07:36] He's in the anals.

[00:07:38] The annals?

[00:07:38] The annals?

[00:07:40] The annals.

[00:07:40] The annals.

[00:07:41] Uh-

[00:07:42] Why are we here?

[00:07:44] Anything else?

[00:07:45] I really wanna get-

[00:07:46] Any last words?

[00:07:47] Uh, balls?

[00:07:48] Balls.

[00:07:49] Like I've been stooping and sitting on this for like a minute now.

[00:07:53] So you know how-

[00:07:54] Why do we like Kendrick Lamar the most?

[00:07:58] Cause he's black.

[00:07:59] No, no, because he can go spasmatic and he's very lyrical, right?

[00:08:03] No, I'm going with cause he's black.

[00:08:07] I'm thinking.

[00:08:08] So yeah, he has some-

[00:08:12] He's just-

[00:08:13] He's just-

[00:08:13] But he can go in too.

[00:08:14] Why do we like J. Cole so much?

[00:08:17] Because he's very-

[00:08:17] Hold on, just speak for yourself.

[00:08:19] Uh-oh.

[00:08:20] Uh-oh.

[00:08:21] No, stop doing this again.

[00:08:22] Not M-I-C, but why do we as a culture-

[00:08:24] You gotta fire back!

[00:08:25] Why do we like J. Cole so much?

[00:08:26] Because he's very introspective and deep with his lyrics, right?

[00:08:31] And seemingly humble, he's not flashy.

[00:08:32] Why does the public like Drake so much?

[00:08:35] Cause he can like sing and rap at the same time and sometimes he has bars.

[00:08:40] Just-

[00:08:40] The ladies like Drake.

[00:08:42] Not me.

[00:08:42] The ladies like Drake.

[00:08:43] The ladies like Drake.

[00:08:44] Why do the masses like him?

[00:08:45] For that reason, right?

[00:08:46] Cause he's-

[00:08:47] He's a light-skinned nigga with-

[00:08:49] Okay, okay.

[00:08:49] So I want to give you guys an exhibit of someone who's right now getting blackballed because

[00:08:55] they're all three but better than any individual one.

[00:08:58] Alright, you went over it.

[00:08:59] Okay, go ahead.

[00:09:00] I won't say it.

[00:09:01] Go ahead.

[00:09:02] So my guy Tory Lanez is one of my favorite lyricists for the last like almost seven years.

[00:09:09] Let me guess he's in jail.

[00:09:11] He is, but-

[00:09:12] He was Harlem Night-

[00:09:13] He Harlem Night-

[00:09:14] He just shot my pinky toe.

[00:09:17] Listen, but look, so look, that case is coming up again because-

[00:09:20] He got arrested for Harlem Night and his bitch.

[00:09:21] One of Tory Lanez's drivers and the chick who Tory himself said was the actual shooter are

[00:09:28] coming out and they're both saying his version of it.

[00:09:32] So Tory Lanez can rap, sing, go spasmatic, and get lyrical deep on you.

[00:09:38] And he's from Toronto.

[00:09:39] In the same verse.

[00:09:42] He is Canadian.

[00:09:42] He's also Canadian.

[00:09:44] That's another thing.

[00:09:45] Lames, eh?

[00:09:47] So look, they-

[00:09:47] Hey, Lanes goes hard.

[00:09:48] I'm not even-

[00:09:49] Don't you know.

[00:09:49] They blackballed him because of his independent status-

[00:09:53] I ain't been broken a minute.

[00:09:53] On the music scene.

[00:09:54] I ain't been broken a minute.

[00:09:56] I mean, that is a-

[00:09:57] I ain't been broken a minute.

[00:09:59] That is a flex though to be that popular-

[00:10:03] He's done everything these three have independently.

[00:10:06] Under no major label.

[00:10:08] He went like-

[00:10:09] That's impressive.

[00:10:09] I think it was Diamond in like 20 hours or something like that.

[00:10:12] They're blackballing him because of his independence is what I'm saying.

[00:10:16] He sold his album for like a dollar a piece.

[00:10:19] Because his money is not going to some A&R.

[00:10:22] Listen, he sold his like one of his most recent albums before he went in.

[00:10:27] I think for like a dollar-

[00:10:28] The 90s pop one.

[00:10:29] For like a dollar a piece.

[00:10:31] He NFT'd it.

[00:10:33] He sold like 400,000-

[00:10:37] It was 2 billion by the end of the fucking first two weeks, bro.

[00:10:41] That's kind of smart though because most people are willing to pay a dollar even if they don't know if it's dope.

[00:10:47] If somebody just walked up to you and they said their mixtape was only a dollar like this, you're like, alright, whatever.

[00:10:53] I went to my brother's wedding and the only songs we listened to was Tory Lanez's new album.

[00:10:57] It's like super poppy, 90s, retro, like the shit's fire.

[00:11:03] And he did the release from prison while he's fighting a case that he literally told everybody what happened day one.

[00:11:11] And we couldn't believe him because it was Meg Thee Stallion versus a dude who's 5'3".

[00:11:18] So like, oh no, his Napoleon complex definitely made him shoot that bitch in the foot.

[00:11:23] Meanwhile, he's cheating on Meg Thee Stallion with her best friend.

[00:11:28] That's who actually put a cap in her toe.

[00:11:31] Hmm.

[00:11:33] How about that?

[00:11:34] Allegedly.

[00:11:34] No, definitely now.

[00:11:36] She's admitting that she shot her friend.

[00:11:38] And it was because I was trying to fuck Tory Lanez, but Meg Thee Stallion had Tory under her spell at the same time.

[00:11:47] So she like cheated, he cheated on the chick he was with, with Meg Thee Stallion.

[00:11:53] But she made the introduction, like this is my best friend Meg Thee Stallion.

[00:11:57] And she's got body-a-ty-a-ty-a-ty-a-ty-a-ty-a-ty.

[00:12:01] Uh oh.

[00:12:02] Pretty face and a fat, and all this other stuff.

[00:12:06] What other stuff?

[00:12:08] So like, what, what...

[00:12:09] Do tell.

[00:12:10] Is there, is there, is there any person you've seen in your life that has more of a cocky attitude than you?

[00:12:17] Yeah, there's some people that...

[00:12:19] How many times were those girls and they were more cocky than you?

[00:12:23] Never.

[00:12:24] That's crazy.

[00:12:25] Every girl y'all have ever met is way cockier than you.

[00:12:28] And if they get you, if that girl gets you, she's flexing you on other people.

[00:12:33] I promise.

[00:12:34] Every female from Aurora that thinks that they're a gangster.

[00:12:41] The ratchet side does come out.

[00:12:43] You see how quiet we got because he was telling the truth just now?

[00:12:45] That happens.

[00:12:46] There's that.

[00:12:47] I had to pee.

[00:12:48] So I got a good, uh, icebreaker.

[00:12:51] Next person you meet randomly...

[00:12:53] Punch them in the face.

[00:12:54] That could work too, that's a good icebreaker.

[00:12:57] Just ask them what's in their Google search history.

[00:13:02] That's a little intrusive.

[00:13:03] And if they panic or act like weird, then you know it's, you know it's porn or something wild.

[00:13:08] I'll just be like the most random outlandish thing I could think of.

[00:13:11] Because why...

[00:13:13] Why does everybody freak out as soon as you say browsing history?

[00:13:16] Black market or go sales.

[00:13:18] It's always like, hey, hey, hey.

[00:13:21] I'm looking for a...

[00:13:21] Because my cookies are gross.

[00:13:22] I'm looking for a left foot.

[00:13:25] But, so does it not just go straight to porn or something wild then?

[00:13:29] Usually.

[00:13:30] If you just go to somebody and you're like, yo, what's in your browsing history?

[00:13:34] Do they not like panic a little bit?

[00:13:36] Yeah, because that's intrusive.

[00:13:37] They panic a little?

[00:13:39] Am I being honest?

[00:13:40] You can't just be like, no, I'm looking for a different recipe.

[00:13:43] You would be honest.

[00:13:43] I wanted to see what the weather was, you know.

[00:13:45] My top five, my top five right now are Willow Ryder solos.

[00:13:50] So we're, this is porn.

[00:13:51] No, we're not doing this right now.

[00:13:52] So this...

[00:13:53] We're not fucking doing this.

[00:13:54] Okay, I rest my case.

[00:13:55] Parmesan.

[00:13:55] Nobody gives a shit.

[00:13:57] Fettuccine Alfredo recipes.

[00:13:59] Shut up.

[00:14:00] Pussy and Parmesan.

[00:14:02] This guy.

[00:14:04] This guy.

[00:14:04] What's next?

[00:14:05] Who's got some actual shit to talk about?

[00:14:08] What's in your Google search history?

[00:14:09] It doesn't have to be porn.

[00:14:12] It doesn't have to be gross.

[00:14:12] You guys search other things.

[00:14:14] It's very disgusting.

[00:14:15] Okay, well you...

[00:14:15] It always has to be...

[00:14:16] It always has to be porn.

[00:14:21] Recipes, local news, Damon Wayans and Adam Sandler movie, Tank Drum.

[00:14:28] It's called Bulletproof.

[00:14:30] What is the hertz frequency required to...

[00:14:34] Like that you have to put out in order to levitate?

[00:14:36] 147.

[00:14:38] No.

[00:14:40] Yeah.

[00:14:41] Nice.

[00:14:41] We're not going over my search history.

[00:14:47] Oh yeah, I also have some shit.

[00:14:50] He said, nigga call the FBI, call the CIA.

[00:14:53] Nah, nigga you ain't calling nobody.

[00:14:54] My cookies ain't for everybody.

[00:14:55] If you call anybody, I might have to shoot you.

[00:14:58] Any last words?

[00:15:00] You're on life support.

[00:15:01] You're just like, delete my browsing history.

[00:15:03] My browsing history.

[00:15:04] I'm not dead.

[00:15:07] That's neither here nor said.

[00:15:09] That's neither here nor said.

[00:15:10] My phone will self-destruct upon death.

[00:15:12] Straight.

[00:15:13] Upon death, my phone will self-destruct.

[00:15:16] It's not like I got anything incriminating for like my relationship or anything like that

[00:15:21] because that's never the case.

[00:15:23] But...

[00:15:23] He said there is some porn on there.

[00:15:27] Sometimes I can see a tongue go counter-clockwise.

[00:15:30] I give a fuck about the porn to be honest with you.

[00:15:32] You know what I'm saying?

[00:15:33] It's...

[00:15:34] I mean, I just...

[00:15:36] I live a private life.

[00:15:37] You know what I mean?

[00:15:38] He doesn't want to tell us.

[00:15:40] It's okay.

[00:15:41] I just prefer to just go out and be like, oh...

[00:15:44] That's why that's a funny icebreaker.

[00:15:46] Because I feel like everybody just...

[00:15:48] Yeah.

[00:15:48] Their initial reaction...

[00:15:50] Mind your fucking business.

[00:15:50] Is to panic.

[00:15:51] Yeah.

[00:15:51] Just like, hold on, what?

[00:15:52] What?

[00:15:53] My reaction is gonna be, mind your fucking business.

[00:15:56] And I'm gonna walk away.

[00:15:57] Are you insinuating that I watch porn?

[00:16:00] No.

[00:16:00] I say, are you from Europe?

[00:16:01] Cause Amsterdam.

[00:16:03] Wow.

[00:16:04] You used that one before?

[00:16:05] No.

[00:16:07] And that'll get you X'd completely right away if you ever use that as an icebreaker.

[00:16:13] So...

[00:16:14] Hey, what's your Google history?

[00:16:16] And are you the feds?

[00:16:17] Another icebreaker.

[00:16:18] Have you ever played the Golden Girls video game?

[00:16:21] I got it.

[00:16:21] I got it.

[00:16:25] What did they do, security?

[00:16:27] What about Werther's and vaginas?

[00:16:30] Wow!

[00:16:31] The Werther's originals?

[00:16:33] Packing vaginas with Werther's?

[00:16:35] Man, that's like...

[00:16:36] Werther's packed vaginas.

[00:16:38] That's the boss level right there.

[00:16:39] That's the only level two.

[00:16:40] And then what was the other one?

[00:16:41] They were getting trains ran on them?

[00:16:43] And quilting dildos?

[00:16:44] By...

[00:16:44] Quilting dildos?

[00:16:45] By college studs?

[00:16:46] The fastest quilted dildo.

[00:16:48] Quilting dildos?

[00:16:50] The Golden Girls are wild.

[00:16:52] How many joints can you roll in two minutes?

[00:16:54] Dude, that's almost as wild as, uh, basically, like, the people that everybody refers to in conspiracy theorists.

[00:17:03] Like, they're...

[00:17:04] They and them?

[00:17:05] Yeah, they're non-binary.

[00:17:07] They're not real.

[00:17:09] They're not real!

[00:17:11] What are you?

[00:17:12] Hold on, no.

[00:17:13] I'm sorry.

[00:17:14] Hold on.

[00:17:15] Hold on.

[00:17:15] I'm sorry.

[00:17:16] Hold on.

[00:17:22] I'm accepting...

[00:17:23] Oh, shit.

[00:17:23] This is starting like a Mike's Corner right now.

[00:17:25] That was crazy, bro.

[00:17:26] Well, they them is plural.

[00:17:28] That's all I'm gonna say.

[00:17:29] They can't even know.

[00:17:30] That's plural.

[00:17:31] And every time somebody talks about a conspiracy theory...

[00:17:34] It's them.

[00:17:35] The people involved is they them.

[00:17:37] Holy shit, bro.

[00:17:38] And you're always like, well, who's they?

[00:17:39] You're like, I don't know.

[00:17:40] I don't know the person.

[00:17:42] Them.

[00:17:42] Just them, you know.

[00:17:43] Yeah.

[00:17:44] The elite.

[00:17:44] So now that we're pinning the they them to them, or that certain bracket of group, whenever

[00:17:52] something starts going off, we need to go to them.

[00:17:54] We do.

[00:17:55] We blame them.

[00:17:56] Yeah, it's them.

[00:17:57] It's them.

[00:17:58] They are doing it.

[00:17:59] It's not us, it's them.

[00:18:00] It's them.

[00:18:01] It's not me, it's you.

[00:18:03] That's insane, bro.

[00:18:04] That's insane.

[00:18:05] Can I say you?

[00:18:06] Are you a you?

[00:18:07] No, they're getting offended.

[00:18:08] It's them.

[00:18:09] They.

[00:18:11] They?

[00:18:11] They?

[00:18:12] Where's the rest of them?

[00:18:13] This is all the fucking funny jokes.

[00:18:15] Who are they?

[00:18:16] You just blew my brain.

[00:18:17] This is all funny jokes, but at the same time...

[00:18:20] How can you be a them or a they?

[00:18:22] You're just a you.

[00:18:23] Right.

[00:18:23] So you remember in Species 2 when that guy's at the cabin and he puts a shotgun in his mouth?

[00:18:28] Mm-hmm.

[00:18:29] You blew my brains like that just now with that.

[00:18:31] Interesting, okay.

[00:18:31] That was crazy.

[00:18:32] So also, it's almost as crazy as a non-binary person referring to their vehicle as she.

[00:18:39] Non-binary is a number.

[00:18:40] They're pansexual.

[00:18:41] You're a number?

[00:18:43] You're a number now?

[00:18:44] Non-binary.

[00:18:44] I'm not a number?

[00:18:46] Yeah, do you name your vehicles?

[00:18:48] It's definitely a female.

[00:18:49] Every car is a girl.

[00:18:51] Wow.

[00:18:52] So they're hermaphrodites.

[00:18:53] No, just every car is a woman.

[00:18:54] You think your cars are gonna spawn another car someday?

[00:18:57] I mean, maybe.

[00:18:58] Asexually?

[00:18:59] Who knows?

[00:19:01] In this world.

[00:19:02] Mary Magdalene is the name of your car, I guess.

[00:19:04] Virgin Mary.

[00:19:05] This car is peep-teem-peem.

[00:19:08] Shut up, dude.

[00:19:09] Peep-teem-peem-peem.

[00:19:10] Peep-teem-peem.

[00:19:11] Don't encourage.

[00:19:13] Don't encourage.

[00:19:13] He's the peen car.

[00:19:14] Do not encourage.

[00:19:15] It looks like the Oscar Mayer wiener car, but it's just a peen.

[00:19:19] 10-peen combo.

[00:19:20] Peen-peen-peen.

[00:19:21] Peen-peen.

[00:19:22] Hey, but no, I mean, shit.

[00:19:23] You got people fucking identifying as a fucking cat.

[00:19:26] You got fucking kids that are in the goddamn house.

[00:19:28] Them bitches are sexy.

[00:19:30] Oh my god.

[00:19:32] What?

[00:19:33] So if you had a girl that used a litter box, she'd be-

[00:19:37] You'd still date everybody?

[00:19:38] She's using the litter box?

[00:19:39] Yeah, she used the litter box.

[00:19:40] Like she's actually using the litter box.

[00:19:43] And then she actually decreet it out.

[00:19:44] That's wild.

[00:19:44] Is she drip dry in the litter box?

[00:19:47] Regardless, she's using the litter box.

[00:19:49] Are you okay with this?

[00:19:50] You just wake up in the middle of the night and just hear the scratching.

[00:19:55] Like you just take your shit on the floor.

[00:19:57] How hot is she?

[00:19:59] So she uses a scratch post too.

[00:20:01] That's hot.

[00:20:02] She's got a scratch post.

[00:20:02] A scratch post?

[00:20:03] That's sexy.

[00:20:04] No.

[00:20:06] What the fuck with you?

[00:20:08] You're not dating Catwoman?

[00:20:10] What, does she want kibbles and bits too?

[00:20:12] Kibbles and bits?

[00:20:13] I wish you would have to go to a nice restaurant.

[00:20:16] Does she eat cat food?

[00:20:18] No!

[00:20:20] Okay, so she just uses the litter box.

[00:20:22] Then why the fuck are you using a litter box then if you don't eat fucking cat food?

[00:20:25] Because she's a furry and when she's in play mode...

[00:20:28] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:20:29] She has different modes?

[00:20:31] What's the other mode?

[00:20:32] Where the fuck is the normal mode?

[00:20:34] Where the fuck is the normal mode?

[00:20:35] Are we saying that?

[00:20:36] We're going there right now?

[00:20:36] Yes.

[00:20:37] No.

[00:20:38] Let's move on.

[00:20:39] Next topic.

[00:20:40] So we're gonna say that every woman doesn't have at least five personalities?

[00:20:44] Don't do this.

[00:20:45] No comment.

[00:20:45] It's not what I'm being.

[00:20:46] Yeah, exactly.

[00:20:48] That's not what I'm being.

[00:20:49] Don't do this right now.

[00:20:49] I would say personalities, more moods.

[00:20:50] For the nigga that ain't got a girlfriend.

[00:20:51] Moods are personalities.

[00:20:53] For the nigga that ain't got a girlfriend, of course he's gonna say some wild ass shit like this.

[00:20:56] Or are they emotions?

[00:20:58] Ah, fam.

[00:20:59] I've been married before though.

[00:21:00] Moods, emotions.

[00:21:02] Emotions drive moods.

[00:21:03] Moods drive emotions.

[00:21:05] They're reflective of each other.

[00:21:06] It's hand in hand.

[00:21:07] And dick drive this car, not pussy, so we're alright.

[00:21:10] Is that a personalities are or an emotion?

[00:21:13] Talcum.

[00:21:14] We're on to the next goddamn topic.

[00:21:17] Talcum.

[00:21:18] Yes.

[00:21:18] Personalities are emotions.

[00:21:20] The Joker has every emotion.

[00:21:21] That's why he has the personality traits he does.

[00:21:24] Alright.

[00:21:25] Did anybody watch the motherfucking volleyball?

[00:21:27] Oh no, no, no.

[00:21:28] Oh, here we go.

[00:21:29] The women's one sled bobsled.

[00:21:32] No.

[00:21:34] Yes.

[00:21:35] I didn't know that.

[00:21:37] I know exactly what you're talking about.

[00:21:39] Oh no, we didn't talk about this.

[00:21:41] One of them almost fucking ate shit bro.

[00:21:46] She was almost, yeah, straight up.

[00:21:49] Son, I'm talking about the cheekage, alright?

[00:21:52] Well.

[00:21:53] The cheekage on one of them bro.

[00:21:54] Oh yeah, I know where you're going.

[00:21:55] He was like Norway or something.

[00:21:56] I don't want to go there.

[00:21:58] I don't want to go there.

[00:21:58] But.

[00:21:58] That's usually where we go.

[00:22:00] I'm going there.

[00:22:00] I'm going there.

[00:22:01] It's the Olympics.

[00:22:03] It's the Olympics.

[00:22:04] It's the Olympics.

[00:22:05] I mean you guys forgot about volleyball.

[00:22:07] No I didn't.

[00:22:08] Brazil and fucking um.

[00:22:11] Beach or club?

[00:22:13] And uh, yeah.

[00:22:14] And uh, Dominican Republic.

[00:22:16] The DR.

[00:22:17] That was the greatest.

[00:22:18] A great match.

[00:22:19] Game.

[00:22:19] It was a great match.

[00:22:20] I've ever watched in my life.

[00:22:21] So what happened in the game?

[00:22:23] It was definitely, hey no.

[00:22:25] Hold on.

[00:22:25] Hold on.

[00:22:26] Which team won?

[00:22:26] What were you paying attention to?

[00:22:28] No, no.

[00:22:28] Hold on.

[00:22:28] Which team won?

[00:22:29] It doesn't matter.

[00:22:31] He doesn't even know that.

[00:22:32] The DR won.

[00:22:33] But it's the greatest game.

[00:22:35] We're all winners at this point.

[00:22:39] We're all catching the gold right now.

[00:22:41] A whole lot of wrist injuries.

[00:22:43] Listen here.

[00:22:43] Listen.

[00:22:45] Look.

[00:22:50] Why you laughing so hard?

[00:22:52] Yeah I did.

[00:22:53] A whole lot of wrist injuries.

[00:22:55] Jesus Christ.

[00:22:55] Cause it's volleyball.

[00:22:57] Did you, did you consist, did you uh, concur a wrist injury during this time?

[00:23:00] I did.

[00:23:01] You're laughing that fucking hard.

[00:23:02] I did.

[00:23:02] I had to bat left handed.

[00:23:03] He's like, my wrist still hurts.

[00:23:05] It's still throbbing.

[00:23:06] It's been two weeks.

[00:23:07] Goodness gracious.

[00:23:09] I mean.

[00:23:10] Carpal tunnel.

[00:23:11] Carpals.

[00:23:11] I mean, you know, you gotta, you gotta understand the simple things.

[00:23:14] Now, let's go back to fucking the Australian bitch and the fucking breakdancing.

[00:23:19] Oh bro, I hated the whole breakdance competition bro.

[00:23:22] We're gonna tiptoe around here.

[00:23:23] That shit was real wild.

[00:23:25] Like, the two French dudes won because they were French dudes and that's the only reason.

[00:23:29] Well, and then the whole scandal that-

[00:23:31] They're not bringing it back.

[00:23:32] Australia doesn't even have-

[00:23:33] You don't think so?

[00:23:33] No.

[00:23:34] It's already been announced.

[00:23:35] Yeah, they're not bringing it back.

[00:23:36] Australia doesn't even have like a breakdancing organization.

[00:23:41] Yeah, they do.

[00:23:42] They have one of the best ones.

[00:23:43] She teaches breakdance.

[00:23:45] Well, they didn't have one until they founded it.

[00:23:49] And then-

[00:23:49] You can't find breakdancing until you come to America.

[00:23:52] No, they founded the breakdance-

[00:23:54] Breakdance school.

[00:23:55] Academy.

[00:23:56] Whatever is needed to be able to, you know, get into the-

[00:24:00] Qualifies.

[00:24:00] Yeah, that qualifies that country to get into the Olympics.

[00:24:04] Anyway-

[00:24:04] If there's only one team and one person that qualifies, then it goes right through all the

[00:24:09] way, you know what I'm saying?

[00:24:10] Exactly.

[00:24:10] In other words, what he's saying is-

[00:24:12] I'm impressed with Japan and the Netherlands.

[00:24:14] They fudged her way all the way through because she was the only one in that country that knew

[00:24:19] anything about breakdancing.

[00:24:20] No competition.

[00:24:20] They made her hot.

[00:24:21] You know what I'm saying?

[00:24:22] Exactly.

[00:24:22] They made her hot.

[00:24:24] Like, regardless, I'm gonna win because there's nobody that I'm going against.

[00:24:29] She lost!

[00:24:29] No, so-

[00:24:32] In the women's, it was Lithuania versus the Netherlands.

[00:24:38] And the Lithuanian chick lost.

[00:24:41] In the American, in the men's, we got Jude every time there was a French dude breakdancing.

[00:24:49] Huh?

[00:24:50] The Jew saying we got Jude.

[00:24:51] That's why I can say it.

[00:24:53] That's how you know it's real.

[00:24:55] I mean, I say it.

[00:24:56] Are you a self-loathing Jew?

[00:24:58] And honestly, honestly, if we're gonna talk about it, none of you guys dance like that,

[00:25:02] bro.

[00:25:02] I'm the only B-boy in our fucking group of friends.

[00:25:05] Right?

[00:25:06] I'm the only B-boy.

[00:25:08] I'm the only breakdancer that can really comment on the shit that they were doing.

[00:25:13] You're supposed to dance to the music and break on the breaks.

[00:25:17] The Americans were the only ones dancing the right way.

[00:25:20] You can't have a different style though?

[00:25:23] Is that not a thing?

[00:25:23] No, there's still criteria.

[00:25:26] Okay.

[00:25:26] Is Kobe-

[00:25:27] There's Locking-

[00:25:28] There's criteria.

[00:25:30] There's shit that you have to do.

[00:25:31] Otherwise it's just crumping.

[00:25:33] Otherwise it's just basically interpretive dance and they already have that shit.

[00:25:37] Otherwise it's just fucking frailing around in the fucking circle.

[00:25:39] It's just flailing.

[00:25:40] Like what that one chick did from Australia.

[00:25:42] Yes.

[00:25:42] There has to be a name to it.

[00:25:44] And then most of the dance-

[00:25:45] She threw a little kid fit on the floor.

[00:25:46] Bro, I promise you bro.

[00:25:48] She did.

[00:25:48] Like, breakdancing was an embarrassment.

[00:25:50] That was like all of LeBron's temper tantrums wrapped up in like 45 seconds.

[00:25:54] His entire LA career.

[00:25:58] How long her fucking act was.

[00:25:59] For real, for real.

[00:26:00] Alright, we can move on.

[00:26:01] What was next in the Olympics?

[00:26:04] Not like chronologically, but-

[00:26:06] Dr. Dre's gonna be in the archery.

[00:26:08] I didn't hear about that.

[00:26:09] No way.

[00:26:10] Did anybody else love how Snoop Dogg was basically the American-

[00:26:16] What's the word I'm looking for?

[00:26:18] Our mascot.

[00:26:19] Like Snoop was the American mascot the whole fucking Olympics.

[00:26:23] He was at like volleyball, track, tennis, golf.

[00:26:27] Why not though?

[00:26:28] Well, we didn't get paid to do it.

[00:26:30] Yeah, why not?

[00:26:31] Plus he's living side missions.

[00:26:33] He's supposed to do all of the side quests now.

[00:26:35] Apparently, according to my financial accountant over here,

[00:26:38] there was half a million dollars a day.

[00:26:40] Every time he was seen on camera at the Olympics.

[00:26:43] Yeah.

[00:26:43] That's correct.

[00:26:44] Every time.

[00:26:44] And he's got a whole bunch of new fucking commercials with-

[00:26:48] What's her name?

[00:26:49] Plus he was the torch bearer.

[00:26:51] What's that bitch's name?

[00:26:52] He torched a bear?

[00:26:54] Martha Stewart, that's that hoes name.

[00:26:56] That's that hoes name.

[00:26:58] So we're gonna say Martha Stewart's not a sexy white lady?

[00:27:02] That's a real bitch.

[00:27:03] That is a real bitch.

[00:27:05] Martha's a trashy.

[00:27:05] I mean she was cooking with Snoop.

[00:27:07] No, she didn't snitch.

[00:27:09] Alright?

[00:27:09] That's a real bitch.

[00:27:10] She went to jail for more than-

[00:27:12] Yeah.

[00:27:12] That is a real bitch.

[00:27:14] And it's a good thing.

[00:27:17] Yeah.

[00:27:19] Alright, so-

[00:27:22] I did some funny shit today.

[00:27:25] What'd you do?

[00:27:26] Flawed your face?

[00:27:27] Not today.

[00:27:28] That can be funny.

[00:27:29] If it's not you.

[00:27:31] But, uh, since we can't say names, my girl was on a Zoom call and I didn't know-

[00:27:38] With the president?

[00:27:39] No.

[00:27:41] For work.

[00:27:42] And I-

[00:27:43] President.

[00:27:43] Damn, I don't even know if I can say this either.

[00:27:45] Fuck it.

[00:27:46] But, uh, I thought it was just like a training video.

[00:27:48] I didn't know there was like people on the call.

[00:27:50] You were naked as shit.

[00:27:51] No, and I was like, I don't wanna listen to this bitch talk anymore.

[00:27:57] Ohhhhhhhh.

[00:27:57] Ohhhhhhhh.

[00:27:58] Ohhhhhhh.

[00:27:59] Ohhhhhhh.

[00:27:59] That happened today.

[00:28:02] Ohhhh.

[00:28:02] That's wonderful.

[00:28:03] Okay, how pissed off was your girl?

[00:28:06] So, I lucked out because it was one of those calls where there's a bunch of people on it but they only have the speakers going for-

[00:28:13] Yes.

[00:28:14] For like two people.

[00:28:15] Yes.

[00:28:15] So I got lucky.

[00:28:16] Everybody was muted.

[00:28:17] I definitely said some crazy shit.

[00:28:20] You lucked out, for sure.

[00:28:22] I wanna hear this fucking-

[00:28:25] Hilarious.

[00:28:26] What the hell is this bitch talk anymore?

[00:28:27] So that's better.

[00:28:29] Definitely better.

[00:28:29] It could be you, literally like naked in the background.

[00:28:35] That's what I thought it was.

[00:28:36] He had his balls-

[00:28:37] And even if they did hear, I was just gonna be like, it wouldn't be.

[00:28:41] Nah, how do you know?

[00:28:43] I've seen those balls before.

[00:28:45] Well, either way, it's not about you, okay?

[00:28:48] It's called to go fuck.

[00:28:48] It's not about you.

[00:28:49] You know, it's-

[00:28:50] Well, she didn't say it, so.

[00:28:52] Well, okay, but still, if they saw it, they saw you naked.

[00:28:56] They're like, hold-

[00:28:57] Exactly.

[00:28:57] No, I meant just-

[00:28:58] Justify it if they heard me.

[00:29:00] Oh.

[00:29:00] Well, yeah.

[00:29:01] Just a voice?

[00:29:01] You could've-

[00:29:02] She could've played it off and be like, oh yeah, sorry.

[00:29:05] It was a radio or something.

[00:29:07] Sorry, this bitch is just annoying.

[00:29:10] Sorry.

[00:29:11] I'm all just meeting.

[00:29:13] Can we wrap this up?

[00:29:15] Next topic.

[00:29:16] You just walk across the screen, your whole meat splayed out loud.

[00:29:20] Just helicopter my dick.

[00:29:22] Just peeing across the screen.

[00:29:24] Right in the camera.

[00:29:26] Peeing across the screen.

[00:29:31] You are a child.

[00:29:33] You just have like, just the top part of the suit on, and then everything else-

[00:29:37] Everything below the waist is butt naked.

[00:29:39] Did somebody ever party?

[00:29:42] You do a split screen, you got porn on one, and then the median on the other, and you're

[00:29:47] just-

[00:29:47] I think the correct term is corn.

[00:29:49] That is crazy work, as these kids say nowadays.

[00:29:53] What if you have your own-

[00:29:53] That is crazy work.

[00:29:54] That is-

[00:29:55] They're like, why are you moving back and forth?

[00:29:57] Oh, I got a back massager.

[00:29:59] Oh, you're nasty.

[00:30:01] Crazy work.

[00:30:02] Are you-

[00:30:03] That's about as crazy as a Bar-Khenry fucking Mae Young.

[00:30:06] I 100% doubt that they never boned.

[00:30:54] They smack-

[00:30:55] Yeah, they smack guts a lot of time.

[00:30:57] That's just crazy.

[00:30:58] A frail old lady, she was like 80, and he's the strongest man in the world.

[00:31:02] He's like-

[00:31:02] Oh my god.

[00:31:19] She's like a-

[00:31:20] She's like a-

[00:31:21] She's like a blow up doll.

[00:31:23] Yeah, yeah.

[00:31:23] She's basically-

[00:31:24] Okay, so-

[00:31:25] An 86 year old blow up doll.

[00:31:27] Hear me out.

[00:31:28] Hear me out.

[00:31:28] Hear me out.

[00:31:29] He's not wrong.

[00:31:30] Like a blow up doll.

[00:31:31] Hear me out.

[00:31:32] Hear me out.

[00:31:33] Listen.

[00:31:34] Listen.

[00:31:34] Y'all ain't fucking listening.

[00:31:36] He's playing a game.

[00:31:37] What are we even doing?

[00:31:41] Oh man, I don't even know if I should say that.

[00:31:44] That's nuts.

[00:31:46] You know what?

[00:31:47] We're just gonna say it.

[00:31:48] If anybody knows what was going on with Vince McMahon, Mark Henry might have also dropped

[00:31:54] a deuce on Mae Young's head.

[00:31:56] Ha ha!

[00:31:57] Good job!

[00:31:58] Or Kelly-style, eh?

[00:32:01] I wouldn't know what to say after this, but instead of like, what is love?

[00:32:05] You just be like, where's the drugs?

[00:32:08] Ha ha!

[00:32:11] Ha ha!

[00:32:12] Ha ha!

[00:32:14] Ha ha ha!

[00:32:14] Oh no!

[00:32:15] Baby, don't hurt me!

[00:32:18] Don't ignore me!

[00:32:19] Don't ignore me!

[00:32:21] Don't ignore me.

[00:32:22] No more!

[00:32:22] No, don't ignore me!

[00:32:24] My plug!

[00:32:25] My plug!

[00:32:26] Exactly!

[00:32:27] The plug!

[00:32:27] Where are the drugs?!

[00:32:28] Where's the drugs?!

[00:32:29] Or whatever they said in the Rocks were.

[00:32:31] That's how it goes.

[00:32:33] Please don't ignore me.

[00:32:35] Don't send me to the bus.

[00:32:36] Where's the plug?

[00:32:37] Where's the plug?

[00:32:38] Where's the plug?

[00:32:39] Please don't ignore me.

[00:32:41] No more.

[00:32:46] Oh, my God.

[00:32:47] How about me?

[00:32:48] Oh, my God.

[00:32:50] Some love, please.

[00:32:52] For drugs.

[00:32:58] You guys got anything that grinds your gears or bugs you?

[00:33:01] Okay, no, but I did.

[00:33:02] When I was eating lunch today, on the telly, there was the Little League World Series.

[00:33:11] That shit's dope as fuck.

[00:33:12] Taipei, Taiwan?

[00:33:14] It was Hawaii versus New Hampshire or some shit.

[00:33:19] That's sick.

[00:33:20] At least it's American.

[00:33:21] So these fucking Hawaiian kids towered over these fucking New Hampshireians.

[00:33:28] Easy.

[00:33:29] And, dude, it was so funny.

[00:33:30] I mean, the first, the top of the first, New Hampshire's up to bat, right?

[00:33:38] Didn't score anything.

[00:33:40] Fucking Hawaiians get up to bat, dude.

[00:33:42] Yeah.

[00:33:43] No, bro.

[00:33:43] Hawaiians get up to bat.

[00:33:44] I was.

[00:33:45] Everybody hits.

[00:33:46] Dude.

[00:33:46] Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

[00:33:49] Dude, dude had a triple.

[00:33:50] There was like two doubles.

[00:33:51] Just lighten them up.

[00:33:52] There was like four runs and then the first inning ended.

[00:33:56] And then, yeah, it was just a slaughter.

[00:34:00] It was hilarious.

[00:34:02] Not to just go there again, but just you brought up Little League World Series.

[00:34:08] So you know how they do the like little biography or they get to know the players and they're

[00:34:13] like, what's your favorite food?

[00:34:14] And blah, blah, blah.

[00:34:15] Your favorite show.

[00:34:16] Your favorite player.

[00:34:17] Your favorite actor or actress.

[00:34:19] And one kid said, Alexis, Texas.

[00:34:23] No, he didn't.

[00:34:24] He said Alexis, Texas.

[00:34:27] Take his phone.

[00:34:28] A 12-year-old.

[00:34:30] What state?

[00:34:31] What state?

[00:34:33] Missouri.

[00:34:33] Probably a Midwest or a Southern state.

[00:34:35] It doesn't matter.

[00:34:36] That kid is everybody's hero.

[00:34:38] I bet.

[00:34:40] Alexis, Texas.

[00:34:41] All the kids on the team, they're like, oh, man.

[00:34:44] I didn't know about Alexis.

[00:34:46] All the kids are like, Alexis, Texas.

[00:34:49] Dude, he just.

[00:34:50] Whole Little League World Series has wrist injuries.

[00:34:53] Willow Ryder.

[00:34:55] Her followers just jumped like a hundred thousand.

[00:34:58] A bunch of fucking little middle school kids.

[00:35:02] Fake accounts.

[00:35:05] We just bought her a bunch of bots.

[00:35:08] The name's like Barry McCockiner.

[00:35:11] Oliver Holes.

[00:35:12] Miles deep.

[00:35:16] Dixon, yes.

[00:35:18] Yes, I know that guy.

[00:35:20] He's pretty cool.

[00:35:20] Me and Sloan Kettering used to smoke blunts with him.

[00:35:23] Wow.

[00:35:24] Johnny Hopkins would come over.

[00:35:26] Lighting that shit up every day.

[00:35:27] I smoke pot with John Hopkins.

[00:35:29] It's pretty good weed.

[00:35:32] No?

[00:35:33] No grind your gears?

[00:35:34] You guys aren't upset with anything right now?

[00:35:36] Hmm.

[00:35:37] Nothing's bothering you guys?

[00:35:39] Same shit.

[00:35:40] You know.

[00:35:40] The use.

[00:35:41] You know, I do want to know if, you know, Samoa people are upset that Japan didn't win

[00:35:49] them in the divorce between America and Japan.

[00:35:55] You're so wrong on so many levels.

[00:35:58] I don't even know where to start on how you're wrong right now.

[00:36:02] So, like, okay.

[00:36:04] Okay.

[00:36:05] So, there's...

[00:36:08] There's like...

[00:36:08] Who is this guy?

[00:36:09] There's like an island nation over there that's like...

[00:36:11] Who the fuck is this guy?

[00:36:12] Totally separate, but they look Japanese.

[00:36:14] I know.

[00:36:15] I know.

[00:36:15] Okay.

[00:36:16] There's this thing that happened.

[00:36:17] I like to...

[00:36:21] There's...

[00:36:21] I think it's stupid shit to say.

[00:36:22] That's my fucking job here, okay?

[00:36:24] So, like, there's like Samoans and Tongans, and then, like, the Tongans and the Samoans

[00:36:28] were like the slaves and the masters of their race, and they don't like each other to this

[00:36:34] day, but they're like basically the exact same.

[00:36:37] Are we not going to talk about how the U.S. didn't get gold in shooting?

[00:36:41] Yes.

[00:36:42] We weren't going to.

[00:36:43] We're killing niggas left and right.

[00:36:44] How dare they not get gold in shooting?

[00:36:46] They, they.

[00:36:46] Jesus Christ.

[00:36:47] We had no time.

[00:36:48] There was no school.

[00:36:50] God damn.

[00:36:52] Hopefully the mics didn't pick that up.

[00:36:55] I can edit it.

[00:36:56] Hopefully it is, but that's just true.

[00:36:58] We're not live.

[00:37:00] It's okay.

[00:37:00] Bleep it.

[00:37:01] Come on, guys.

[00:37:02] Where the fuck y'all at?

[00:37:03] Wow.

[00:37:05] Wow.

[00:37:07] I used up all my material.

[00:37:08] So, wow.

[00:37:10] I mean, Steve Wilkos is the white version of Debo.

[00:37:14] For the white guys, yes.

[00:37:15] Who don't take care of their children.

[00:37:17] You're not a good father.

[00:37:19] We can start with that.

[00:37:21] He said, what child support punk?

[00:37:24] I got another segment too.

[00:37:27] That's my honey.

[00:37:28] Random advice.

[00:37:30] Never.

[00:37:32] Don't lick the stripper pole.

[00:37:34] Oh.

[00:37:35] Fuck.

[00:37:36] Yeah.

[00:37:37] Yeah.

[00:37:38] Yeah.

[00:37:39] That's definitely a great rule.

[00:37:41] Yeah.

[00:37:42] That's top five.

[00:37:43] Never shake the homeless man's hand.

[00:37:45] Ew.

[00:37:46] No one wants a bum bump.

[00:37:48] That's gross.

[00:37:49] No one wants a bum bump.

[00:37:50] That's gross.

[00:37:52] Don't give the homeless more than $6 or they'll follow you home.

[00:37:57] Have you learned from experience?

[00:37:59] Yeah.

[00:38:00] They followed you home for other reasons.

[00:38:02] Nah.

[00:38:02] We can't do this.

[00:38:03] Dad, we can't do this.

[00:38:04] My friend gave a homeless person $20 and they never left us alone.

[00:38:08] Also, were those homeless people wearing white hoods?

[00:38:09] Actually, no.

[00:38:10] He did leave us alone.

[00:38:10] No, they were black.

[00:38:11] Black hoods.

[00:38:12] Interesting.

[00:38:14] Interesting.

[00:38:22] It's like talking to children.

[00:38:26] It's like hanging out with a bunch of seven-year-olds.

[00:38:29] Don't eat the gum out of the bathroom stall.

[00:38:36] That's like don't eat yellow snow.

[00:38:38] He's in common sense.

[00:38:43] Well, it could be those books like advice for dummies.

[00:38:46] Is there dummies for dummies?

[00:38:48] I mean.

[00:38:49] So you want to get dumber?

[00:38:51] Yeah.

[00:38:52] They made a movie about it.

[00:38:54] It's called gasoline.

[00:38:56] When Harry and Matt Lloyd.

[00:38:58] It's called huffing gas.

[00:39:00] Huffing paint.

[00:39:01] You huff some gas.

[00:39:02] The Huffington Post.

[00:39:05] Huff here, huff there.

[00:39:08] Everywhere.

[00:39:08] A big huff now and under.

[00:39:09] Before you know it.

[00:39:12] The muff down under.

[00:39:15] Is that with Alexis Texas?

[00:39:18] I mean, I wouldn't have watched that one.

[00:39:21] As she.

[00:39:22] Oh, no.

[00:39:22] That's that 12-year-old.

[00:39:23] He's like, croaky.

[00:39:24] Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[00:39:25] There's an alligator in there.

[00:39:27] She nearly bit me eye-move.

[00:39:28] Oh, wait, no.

[00:39:29] They have crocodiles.

[00:39:31] Oh.

[00:39:31] Oh, I have a number two that's better than the original.

[00:39:36] You have a shit that's better than the original?

[00:39:38] We probably already said it, but go ahead.

[00:39:40] Short Circuit 2 is better than the original.

[00:39:43] No, it's not.

[00:39:44] Yes, it is.

[00:39:45] Ooh, we got an argument already.

[00:39:46] Ooh.

[00:39:47] So number Johnny 5 in the second one is not a way more developed character that's just

[00:39:53] looking for input than when he was on the farm in the first one.

[00:39:56] Yeah.

[00:39:57] That's crazy, bro.

[00:39:58] He was way better in the number second one.

[00:40:01] Number second one.

[00:40:04] Short Circuit 2 is way better than Short Circuit 1.

[00:40:07] Welcome for coming out.

[00:40:09] Short Circuit 2 is way better than Short Circuit.

[00:40:11] Weird Science is better than that.

[00:40:13] Weird Science doesn't have a number two.

[00:40:15] That doesn't matter.

[00:40:17] That doesn't matter.

[00:40:18] That's the topic.

[00:40:20] That's the whole topic.

[00:40:21] That's the premise.

[00:40:22] Fuck your whole dynamic.

[00:40:24] I blew up the baby or I shrunk the kids?

[00:40:26] No, I shrunk the kids.

[00:40:27] It's way better.

[00:40:28] One, two, and three were pretty good.

[00:40:29] How did we shrunk ourselves?

[00:40:30] That's still good, but honey, I shrunk the kids.

[00:40:33] Honey, I blew up the kid.

[00:40:34] The baby.

[00:40:36] The Matrix.

[00:40:37] The only good number two.

[00:40:38] Which one is better?

[00:40:39] Number one.

[00:40:40] Number one?

[00:40:41] And then number three and four?

[00:40:44] Number one is the Godfather.

[00:40:45] Nope.

[00:40:46] T2.

[00:40:46] There's so many twos that are way better.

[00:40:49] Terminator 2.

[00:40:50] Yeah, Terminator 2 is pretty awkward.

[00:40:52] Jurassic Park.

[00:40:52] I will agree with that.

[00:40:53] Jurassic Park, which one's better?

[00:40:55] The first one or the second one?

[00:40:57] The first one.

[00:40:58] So the Rescuers Down Under isn't way better than the Rescuers?

[00:41:02] Yes, you're right.

[00:41:03] We've already said that, though.

[00:41:05] Yeah.

[00:41:05] All Dogs Go to Heaven 2 is way better than the first one.

[00:41:08] Stop it.

[00:41:09] Stop it.

[00:41:10] Stop it right now.

[00:41:10] When Nature Calls?

[00:41:12] Homeward Bound and Homeward Bound 2.

[00:41:16] Lost in San Francisco, the second one's way better than the first one.

[00:41:19] Yeah, okay, that one was.

[00:41:20] Homeward Bound?

[00:41:21] Titanic.

[00:41:22] There's no Titanic 2, stupid.

[00:41:24] No, what was the name?

[00:41:26] It's called Jack Comeback.

[00:41:28] No, no, no.

[00:41:29] What was the name of that submarine?

[00:41:31] Wasn't it the Titanic?

[00:41:32] Welcome to Davy Jones Locker.

[00:41:34] No, what was that?

[00:41:35] That was last year, too.

[00:41:37] You're a monster.

[00:41:38] No, they did that.

[00:41:38] The Titan.

[00:41:39] They did that.

[00:41:40] It was the Titans of the Caribbean.

[00:41:41] You're a monster.

[00:41:41] It's close enough.

[00:41:42] They brought his ass back.

[00:41:43] Close enough.

[00:41:44] You're the monster.

[00:41:45] They did a remake.

[00:41:47] You're the best of the worst of us.

[00:41:49] Ended.

[00:41:50] Ended with a bang.

[00:41:52] I thought it was an...

[00:41:53] Wait, wait, wait.

[00:41:53] It was an implosion.

[00:41:55] Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[00:41:57] Ghostbusters.

[00:41:58] Ghostbusters.

[00:41:58] G2 was fire, yes.

[00:42:00] That's good.

[00:42:00] That's good.

[00:42:01] That's arguable.

[00:42:02] That was better than the first.

[00:42:02] Yes.

[00:42:03] That's arguable.

[00:42:04] They went to the Statue of Liberty, bro?

[00:42:07] Or fucking Beverly Hills Cop.

[00:42:11] Yeah.

[00:42:12] Beverly Hills Cop 2 actually was fire.

[00:42:14] Another 48 hours was way better than 48 hours.

[00:42:17] The gods must be crazy.

[00:42:20] No, the gods must be crazy 2 sucked.

[00:42:23] Yeah, it did.

[00:42:23] I know.

[00:42:24] The gods must be crazy is fucking great.

[00:42:26] Yeah.

[00:42:27] Yeah.

[00:42:28] The first one was hilarious.

[00:42:29] Playing Trains and Autobots 1 was better.

[00:42:31] What about Austin Powers, Spy Who Shagged Me?

[00:42:34] The Spy Who Shagged Me was as good as the first one.

[00:42:37] Tied?

[00:42:37] That's a tie.

[00:42:38] I don't know.

[00:42:40] I think the first one was definitely...

[00:42:42] The second one got a lot more play because there's a lot more characters in it.

[00:42:46] Yep.

[00:42:46] Oh, oh.

[00:42:47] You guys haven't seen a lot of the anime 2s.

[00:42:51] There's a lot of anime 2s that were a lot better.

[00:42:54] Operation Condor 2 with Jackie Chan was way better than the first one.

[00:43:00] Oh, nigga.

[00:43:01] Super Cop.

[00:43:03] Super Cop 2 was way better than the first one?

[00:43:06] Yeah, it was.

[00:43:06] Hell yeah.

[00:43:07] It was way better.

[00:43:08] A lot of Jackie Chan sequels were better than the original.

[00:43:11] Backdoor Sluts 9 was somewhat better than the original 8.

[00:43:15] BDS 9 is the ninth one, though, bro.

[00:43:19] That's the ninth installment.

[00:43:20] Why do we always do that?

[00:43:23] They really nailed it the ninth time.

[00:43:25] They really got it.

[00:43:27] It was on the ball.

[00:43:29] Really nailed it.

[00:43:29] It was on the ball.

[00:43:31] Lots of S&M.

[00:43:33] So.

[00:43:34] I thought he said in Chives after you said in Chives.

[00:43:38] If you don't want Chives, bro, I won't put them in.

[00:43:40] No, no.

[00:43:41] Number 9 only had Thousand Island Dressing.

[00:43:43] They had Thousand Island.

[00:43:45] Oh, no.

[00:43:46] For the salad tossing?

[00:43:47] We're talking steak over here.

[00:43:51] Fur burgers?

[00:43:52] All right.

[00:43:56] That's how you like your vag?

[00:43:58] That's how you like your vag?

[00:44:00] Y'all are cooking yours?

[00:44:01] You guys are cooking puss.

[00:44:03] A little bloody.

[00:44:04] It's a little bloody.

[00:44:06] It's a platypus, all right?

[00:44:09] Come on.

[00:44:10] Get it right.

[00:44:10] Served with a side of steamed vag.

[00:44:14] I remember when, you know, it was together.

[00:44:18] You guys are ridiculous.

[00:44:20] How did we give here?

[00:44:24] Oh, yeah.

[00:44:25] It was vagina and Chives?

[00:44:26] It was a little S&M in Chives.

[00:44:29] Pretty sure it was a left turn at Chives.

[00:44:30] Left on Chives.

[00:44:32] Left on Chives.

[00:44:35] Chives with a side of legs and puss.

[00:44:38] You go right into Chives.

[00:44:41] No, left.

[00:44:43] At Todd?

[00:44:45] Yeah.

[00:44:46] Maybe.

[00:44:46] Left at Todd.

[00:44:48] I don't know.

[00:44:49] I'm not comfortable with that.

[00:44:50] Now he's a Todd-sicle.

[00:44:51] Yeah, why the fuck was Todd there in the first place?

[00:44:53] I'm not comfortable with Todd.

[00:44:55] It's because he was one of those, the parish, you know, on Everest.

[00:45:01] And Todd, they, so Todd just, they don't bring bodies down.

[00:45:06] He just happened to freeze there.

[00:45:07] They leave bodies up there.

[00:45:08] So, now Todd points left to let him know that they, they gotta go left.

[00:45:17] So, take a left to Todd.

[00:45:19] Take a left to Todd.

[00:45:21] Actually, now he's a Todd-sicle.

[00:45:25] Poor Todd.

[00:45:26] Poor Todd.

[00:45:28] Don't be like Todd.

[00:45:33] You're gonna have a bad time.

[00:45:36] Todd, he didn't know.

[00:45:38] Don't tell Todd, he didn't know.

[00:45:42] Oh my God.

[00:45:44] You thought he didn't know?

[00:45:45] No.

[00:45:46] I mean, you're right.

[00:45:47] Todd, he didn't know.

[00:45:48] Todd is an example of the, you know, a lot of highly motivated individuals who wanted to do something like that.

[00:45:56] Just sitting up there on the mountain forever.

[00:46:00] Being highly motivated would kill you.

[00:46:03] Or point you in the right direction.

[00:46:05] There's a fine line, apparently.

[00:46:08] Just don't point that line up a mountain.

[00:46:13] Is there any, uh...

[00:46:15] Todd's legacy lives on, though.

[00:46:18] He drove a Subaru Legacy?

[00:46:20] Now we're beating Todd's ass now.

[00:46:22] Should have just been driving.

[00:46:23] Yeah, probably.

[00:46:24] Why didn't he drive to the top?

[00:46:25] What a fucking idiot.

[00:46:25] You guys are beating a Todd horse right now.

[00:46:29] Leave Todd's ass alone.

[00:46:30] Well, if he was on a horse up there, that was his first mistake.

[00:46:33] I just heard one of the oldest baby names in the universe.

[00:46:41] Ethel?

[00:46:42] Gertrude?

[00:46:43] It was a long G line.

[00:46:45] It started with a G.

[00:46:46] It was almost Gertrude.

[00:46:48] Oh, man.

[00:46:49] The baby is basically like 75 years old right now.

[00:46:53] That's what I'm saying.

[00:46:54] Do you got any of those names?

[00:46:55] Like, got any old black people names?

[00:47:00] Or like...

[00:47:01] What a G?

[00:47:01] It's a good G name.

[00:47:04] Georgia.

[00:47:05] No.

[00:47:06] That's not old enough.

[00:47:08] What year was the state founded?

[00:47:12] 1743.

[00:47:13] 1843.

[00:47:17] There's an old name, my nigga.

[00:47:21] She came out the womb 83 years old.

[00:47:24] Jesus Christ.

[00:47:25] It's like Gwendolyn.

[00:47:26] I was gonna...

[00:47:27] Oh, I was about to say Gwendolyn, bro.

[00:47:29] That's so crazy.

[00:47:30] It's Gwendolyn.

[00:47:31] Genevieve is a good one.

[00:47:33] But that's more like...

[00:47:33] That's a French old people name.

[00:47:35] Yeah, it's like Finland or...

[00:47:36] Yeah, French or some shit.

[00:47:37] Oh, I have a good one.

[00:47:38] I don't believe that Finland exists.

[00:47:41] Oh, God.

[00:47:42] Yeah, neither does Russia, but...

[00:47:44] There's no, no.

[00:47:44] Finland is literally like 17 islands that make up a peninsula that plugs in next to a country.

[00:47:51] No.

[00:47:52] Finland doesn't exist, you guys.

[00:47:53] It's just a...

[00:47:54] It's the best fishing in the world is in Finland.

[00:47:59] You're stupid.

[00:48:00] You're not even close.

[00:48:01] I thought half of Sweden was Finland.

[00:48:05] Obviously.

[00:48:06] I don't know.

[00:48:07] Maybe...

[00:48:07] Somebody hasn't had enough...

[00:48:08] Let's take it to the map, Alex.

[00:48:11] Breathe some oxygen.

[00:48:13] Okay, somebody bring up a globe of that area.

[00:48:17] Look where Finland is.

[00:48:19] Look where Finland is and then tell me that's...

[00:48:21] We're gonna Google it.

[00:48:22] That's a bunch of places?

[00:48:24] I got Google Earth coming up.

[00:48:26] So Finland is...

[00:48:28] Finland doesn't exist.

[00:48:29] A giant...

[00:48:30] That place does not exist, bro.

[00:48:32] That's a bunch of fishing land is what I'm telling you.

[00:48:36] So it's still there then.

[00:48:38] You said it's land, so it exists.

[00:48:40] It's islands.

[00:48:41] It's like...

[00:48:42] It's...

[00:48:42] It's...

[00:48:42] It's...

[00:48:43] God damn.

[00:48:43] It's there, right?

[00:48:44] The closest I can compare it to is like the Great Lakes area where it's like a bunch of land masses,

[00:48:49] but the most of it is water.

[00:48:51] Bro, it's a fucking giant fucking...

[00:48:53] That's not real.

[00:48:54] Hey, hey, hey.

[00:48:54] That's not real.

[00:48:55] That's not real.

[00:48:56] What he's trying to tell us is that...

[00:48:58] I promise.

[00:48:59] He's trying to tell us that there is no spoon.

[00:49:01] Okay, so for the listeners...

[00:49:04] Finland doesn't exist, bro.

[00:49:04] I had to check up on my geography and I kind of wasn't wrong.

[00:49:08] I could say it was like half of Sweden.

[00:49:10] Ask...

[00:49:11] Ask how many people are from Finland.

[00:49:13] Have you met someone from Finland?

[00:49:15] Yeah.

[00:49:16] Damn.

[00:49:18] There you go.

[00:49:18] What did they tell you about Finland?

[00:49:20] I think they're called Finland.

[00:49:21] That's a nice place.

[00:49:22] They're Finnish.

[00:49:22] Finnish.

[00:49:23] Finnish.

[00:49:23] Finnish.

[00:49:23] Finnish.

[00:49:24] Finnish.

[00:49:24] Finnish.

[00:49:24] All right.

[00:49:26] You guys believe whatever you want to believe.

[00:49:27] El finis.

[00:49:28] So you're saying they went extinct and now they're finished?

[00:49:32] Finland doesn't exist.

[00:49:34] Is that...

[00:49:35] What are you saying?

[00:49:37] Put your hands up.

[00:49:38] Get your boy.

[00:49:40] What are we doing?

[00:49:42] What are we doing?

[00:49:42] What are we doing?

[00:49:43] It's known for having the cleanest air, the best education, and...

[00:49:47] Great fishing.

[00:49:48] Badass fucking metal.

[00:49:49] Great fishing.

[00:49:50] On the planet.

[00:49:51] Mm-hmm.

[00:49:53] And yeah, it's only been a country for a little over 100 years because...

[00:49:57] Doesn't exist?

[00:49:58] It used to be part of Russia.

[00:50:01] But it exists.

[00:50:08] Mm-hmm.

[00:50:09] Listen.

[00:50:10] Santa Claus.

[00:50:11] You niggas probably believe in the two-year.

[00:50:12] Ghosts, we love you.

[00:50:14] You know?

[00:50:14] And sometimes, you know, we...

[00:50:16] A lot of times, most of the time, we do call you out on your bullshit.

[00:50:19] And this is one of those times.

[00:50:21] Mm-hmm.

[00:50:22] This is one of those times.

[00:50:23] Mm-hmm.

[00:50:24] Well...

[00:50:24] They have great fucking hockey players.

[00:50:26] We're gonna go on vacation to Finland.

[00:50:29] No, we're not, because it doesn't exist.

[00:50:31] That's impossible.

[00:50:33] You're gonna be the first black in Finland.

[00:50:36] No, he's not.

[00:50:38] Oh, yeah.

[00:50:38] No way.

[00:50:39] There's lots of them.

[00:50:40] It's gonna be me first.

[00:50:41] They love niggas in Finland.

[00:50:42] It's gonna be me first.

[00:50:43] Because we're good at fishing.

[00:50:46] With a longer pull.

[00:50:48] You're already finished.

[00:50:50] You are already finished.

[00:50:52] I'm sick of y'all sometimes, man.

[00:50:55] Power pull.

[00:50:56] Extend.

[00:50:56] Why don't I hang out with you guys?

[00:50:58] Hey, man.

[00:50:58] You keep your things to yourself.

[00:51:01] So Goku can have a power pull, but I can't?

[00:51:04] Man, that's a fucking cartoon.

[00:51:06] Why not?

[00:51:07] Batman did it.

[00:51:08] What's a power pull?

[00:51:10] Movie trivia.

[00:51:12] Movie trivia?

[00:51:13] Wait, say it again.

[00:51:15] Why not?

[00:51:16] Batman did it.

[00:51:17] Oh, what is that?

[00:51:18] Is that always real either?

[00:51:20] Oh.

[00:51:21] Role models.

[00:51:23] Nope.

[00:51:24] You don't know this either?

[00:51:25] That was a movie.

[00:51:27] That's all I can give you.

[00:51:29] Because it's too easy after that.

[00:51:32] What's that?

[00:51:34] It's Blank Man.

[00:51:35] No.

[00:51:36] Yep.

[00:51:36] Yes, it is.

[00:51:38] I was kind of close.

[00:51:39] Sorry, I ruined it for everybody.

[00:51:42] It's all right.

[00:51:43] Quick on the trigger.

[00:51:44] It's Blank Man.

[00:51:45] Hey, good job.

[00:51:45] Good save.

[00:51:47] It wasn't a save.

[00:51:47] I knew the answer.

[00:51:49] So then shut up.

[00:51:51] That's what I've been trying to do lately.

[00:51:53] Tell me the answer and shut up.

[00:51:55] Hey, say something, but shut up.

[00:51:56] Shut up while you're doing it.

[00:51:57] That's what I told him when we started.

[00:51:58] Say something and shut up at the same time.

[00:52:00] That's what I told him when we started.

[00:52:01] I want you to...

[00:52:02] Shut your mouth when you're talking to me.

[00:52:03] Shut your face.

[00:52:05] Shut your mouth and talk.

[00:52:06] But talk at the same time.

[00:52:07] Threaten this little jackass over here.

[00:52:09] Look at me, but pay attention to his words.

[00:52:12] Jump and stand still.

[00:52:13] Look at my mouth, but hear his eyes.

[00:52:16] Exactly.

[00:52:18] Taste these colors.

[00:52:20] Eat a dick in two.

[00:52:20] Shrooms?

[00:52:24] Bloomberg's?

[00:52:25] You guys want to Bloom's?

[00:52:27] Bloom's?

[00:52:28] We were supposed to do that, too, but we didn't.

[00:52:30] Boomshine?

[00:52:31] Oh.

[00:52:31] Fishy.

[00:52:32] Oh.

[00:52:33] Bloomberg's?

[00:52:34] No fishy, fishy episode tonight.

[00:52:36] Hey, I'm a little late for that.

[00:52:38] Y'all ain't ready.

[00:52:39] Are we at least an hour in?

[00:52:41] We're coming up on it.

[00:52:44] Santa Claus.

[00:52:45] This fucking character.

[00:52:46] This guy.

[00:52:47] Wow.

[00:52:48] That's how he feels.

[00:52:50] He said he pulled a Birdman.

[00:52:53] He's done and finished.

[00:52:55] I can't.

[00:52:55] July 22nd.

[00:52:56] No, he's not.

[00:52:57] Was that an Antonio Brown?

[00:52:59] I think so.

[00:53:01] Grand off with his shirt off?

[00:53:01] Did you just chuck up the deuce with your shirt off?

[00:53:05] My shirt off.

[00:53:06] I'm shutting up.

[00:53:07] He disrespectfully shoved the mic away.

[00:53:10] I'm just shutting up.

[00:53:11] One, what did the mic ever do to you?

[00:53:13] Yeah, what did I do to you?

[00:53:15] Told me to shut up?

[00:53:16] Well, yeah, that is.

[00:53:17] Threatened his life on a weekly basis.

[00:53:19] Yeah, actually, all of that does sound pretty accurate.

[00:53:24] I mean, bing, bing, bing, bing.

[00:53:26] Threatened my life without silence?

[00:53:28] I said I would kill him just a few hours ago.

[00:53:30] If he didn't be quiet, I was going to murder him, but that doesn't.

[00:53:33] Now who's threatening who?

[00:53:34] I never said that.

[00:53:36] Actually, that is pretty much your go-to.

[00:53:37] It's like your literal go-to.

[00:53:38] Yeah, that is your go-to with everybody.

[00:53:40] I don't know.

[00:53:41] You've told me that you'd kill me.

[00:53:42] You're Majin Vegeta.

[00:53:44] Yeah, I remember that.

[00:53:45] You've threatened all our lives.

[00:53:47] I remember that.

[00:53:47] This is all a legend.

[00:53:49] I don't know what that man's talking about.

[00:53:51] Didn't you say shut up?

[00:53:52] Yeah, I did that to that man's couch.

[00:53:53] The alleged lights.

[00:53:55] Now all of a sudden these motherfuckers have accounts.

[00:53:57] They have records.

[00:53:59] They have, you know, I got proof of shit.

[00:54:01] Sean Murphy!

[00:54:03] It's easy when it's habitual.

[00:54:05] And it's all in our database.

[00:54:07] Shut up.

[00:54:08] I don't know what you're talking about.

[00:54:08] Shut up.

[00:54:10] You shut your mouth.

[00:54:11] In your Dragon Ball do-rag.

[00:54:13] Now that's the Akatsuki do-rag right now.

[00:54:16] You shut your mouth.

[00:54:16] You shut up.

[00:54:17] Shut up.

[00:54:18] Shut up.

[00:54:19] Shut up.

[00:54:20] Shut up.

[00:54:21] Oh.

[00:54:21] Here we go.

[00:54:22] Shut up.

[00:54:23] He's over here playing a video game.

[00:54:24] Shut up.

[00:54:24] We're talking.

[00:54:25] No, I'm not.

[00:54:25] You're playing games.

[00:54:26] Shut up.

[00:54:27] I see your thumb pressing the screen right now.

[00:54:29] Shut up.

[00:54:29] You know what?

[00:54:30] Shut up.

[00:54:31] This guy's playing a fucking video game.

[00:54:32] M-I-C, shut up.

[00:54:33] You're on the phone.

[00:54:34] You don't even know what's going on.

[00:54:35] Hey, dude, I can't fucking help him.

[00:54:37] Shut up.

[00:54:39] I can't.

[00:54:39] I can't.

[00:54:41] I can't.

[00:54:42] I can't.

[00:54:44] I can't.

[00:54:47] I can't.

[00:54:47] Shut up.

[00:54:47] All right, so that's all we have for tonight.

[00:54:49] It's just these ghosts saying shut up.

[00:54:52] Shut up.

[00:54:53] When a problem comes along, you must zip it.

[00:54:57] Hang the high.

[00:54:57] Be the high.

[00:54:58] Zip it.

[00:54:59] Subtitle.

[00:54:59] I'm just saying.

[00:55:00] Shut the fuck up.

[00:55:01] Shut your fucking mouth.

[00:55:02] If this thing goes missing, I'm not.

[00:55:04] Shut your fucking mouth.

[00:55:05] I'm not liable.

[00:55:06] There it is.

[00:55:06] There it is.

[00:55:07] The death threat.

[00:55:13] Is that another dollar?

[00:55:15] Rolling in the dough.

[00:55:16] That's a dollar.

[00:55:16] I said I'm not liable.

[00:55:17] That's a dollar right there.

[00:55:19] We going sis.

[00:55:21] We going sis.

[00:55:24] This is bullshit.

[00:55:26] So, Killer Hills Mixer, when we started the episode, we were like, if I had a nickel for

[00:55:31] every time Mike threatened my life, we would be rich.

[00:55:35] And MIC has literally threatened me with peen violence tonight.

[00:55:41] You'd be Scrooge McDuff.

[00:55:43] I could be swimming in gold coins because he's just Scrooge-ing it.

[00:55:47] Bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling.

[00:55:48] That's not true.

[00:55:49] That's not true.

[00:55:50] He's about to do it again.

[00:55:52] He said, first of all, I'll hit you right now.

[00:55:56] First of all, I'll kill you.

[00:55:57] I'll murder you with my fists.

[00:55:58] He's like, first of all, suck my peen.

[00:56:01] I'll shove my peen down your eye socket.

[00:56:04] Bling, bling, bling, bling.

[00:56:06] Why?

[00:56:08] Let's go fuck you.

[00:56:09] Bling, bling, bling.

[00:56:10] Oh, oh.

[00:56:10] Bling, bling, bling, bling, bling.

[00:56:12] Hold on, hold on.

[00:56:12] That's a little.

[00:56:13] I'm going to put my peen in your eye.

[00:56:14] It's like every time he hangs up the phone now, he's just like, peen.

[00:56:18] That's how he says goodbye.

[00:56:21] That's his version of, all right, Dan.

[00:56:22] Everyone's just like, what?

[00:56:23] Hold on.

[00:56:24] You just called me a dick?

[00:56:25] He just said peen.

[00:56:27] He just said peen and hung up.

[00:56:29] Did he hang up right after the peen?

[00:56:30] You got to wash your ear out like a cute tip and alcohol.

[00:56:33] Peen.

[00:56:34] All right, bro.

[00:56:36] Peen.

[00:56:37] Yeah, look.

[00:56:37] One, one, one.

[00:56:39] Peen.

[00:56:39] All right, peen.

[00:56:40] Look.

[00:56:40] One, peen, peen.

[00:56:41] I'm just going to say this.

[00:56:42] One, peen.

[00:56:43] One, peen.

[00:56:43] I'm just going to say this right now.

[00:56:45] One, peen.

[00:56:47] One, peen.

[00:56:49] One, peen.

[00:56:50] Or however that song goes.

[00:56:52] Or however that song goes.

[00:56:53] One, peen.

[00:56:55] It's one, Crippen.

[00:56:56] One, peen.

[00:56:57] Peen, peen.

[00:56:59] Peen, peen.

[00:57:02] Peen, peen.

[00:57:02] Peen, peen.

[00:57:02] Peen, peen.

[00:57:03] One, peen.

[00:57:03] One, peen.

[00:57:04] I'm pretty sure I sung that song already.

[00:57:09] I'm just going to say this.

[00:57:10] I'm just going to say this.

[00:57:10] I'm just going to say this.

[00:57:11] I'm just going to say this.

[00:57:11] I'm just going to say this.

[00:57:11] One, peen.

[00:57:12] One, peen.

[00:57:12] One, peen.

[00:57:14] Just know, we got to turn this motherfucker off, all right?

[00:57:18] No, we still have three minutes.

[00:57:21] Yeah, I don't care.

[00:57:22] Peen my charisma.

[00:57:23] Peen with a spritzer.

[00:57:29] I use my peen to spritzer.

[00:57:31] Yeah, calm down, little peen.

[00:57:34] Yeah, that's what R. Kelly did.

[00:57:36] You use Lil Wayne.

[00:57:37] All she needs is one peen, one peen.

[00:57:39] One peen.

[00:57:40] All she needs is one peen.

[00:57:42] One peen, one guy.

[00:57:43] Yeah, I hear it.

[00:57:45] Peen.

[00:57:46] That's like the opposite of what all of the female rappers are saying currently.

[00:57:51] Yes, yes it is.

[00:57:52] Yes, it is.

[00:57:53] That's true.

[00:57:54] They're talking about their fucking little pussy skirts and shit.

[00:57:57] Yeah, they might as well sit at the end of a fucking hot dog conveyor belt.

[00:58:03] Glizzy gobbler.

[00:58:04] Yeah, straight up, bro.

[00:58:05] The glizzy contender.

[00:58:07] On a fucking rotisserie.

[00:58:09] Whoa.

[00:58:10] That's nuts.

[00:58:11] Heated.

[00:58:12] Heated weenies.

[00:58:13] Just a Gatling gun of glitzies.

[00:58:16] Just filling all holes.

[00:58:17] Just a Gatling gun of peen.

[00:58:21] FAH, man.

[00:58:22] Filling all holes, man.

[00:58:24] Peen, peen, peen, peen.

[00:58:25] That is not what that stands for.

[00:58:31] That is not what those letters stand for.

[00:58:34] You are not going to shame my country later.

[00:58:37] It might be.

[00:58:38] The FHA does not stand for filling the holes.

[00:58:43] FAH.

[00:58:44] Filling all holes.

[00:58:45] So the FAH won't let me be.

[00:58:47] And let me.

[00:58:48] That's the FCC.

[00:58:49] Me deliver peen.

[00:58:51] Let me fill them all with peen.

[00:58:52] The FCC, you know what that stands for.

[00:58:54] I was going to say it, but I didn't stop myself.

[00:58:57] They had to shut me down on Pali.

[00:59:00] But I feel so empty.

[00:59:02] Without peen.

[00:59:05] Now this looks like a job for peen.

[00:59:09] Just follow peen.

[00:59:10] I knew you were going to say that.

[00:59:12] Yeah, I'm done with this.

[00:59:14] Okay.

[00:59:14] That was worth it.

[00:59:17] That was worth it.

[00:59:18] I'm finished.

[00:59:19] That was like $1,000.

[00:59:20] Spiral Squad?

[00:59:21] We just spiraled out of control?

[00:59:24] I don't know.

[00:59:25] Spiral Squad?

[00:59:26] Oh, man.

[00:59:27] I was not a part of any of this.

[00:59:29] Oh, shut the hell up.

[00:59:30] I was neither a party two or a party peen.

[00:59:33] I don't get down with the way they were acting just now.

[00:59:38] Hmm.

[00:59:39] Tune in to the other 74 episodes.

[00:59:43] Yeah.

[00:59:44] And you'll see this jackass is bullshit.

[00:59:46] Feel free to call him out on his bullshit.

[00:59:47] Baby Karen.

[00:59:51] Mr. Boy Sharks over here.

[00:59:59] It's been a minute.

[01:00:01] It's been a while since I've been back to walk this road again.

[01:00:08] Oh, my God.

[01:00:09] Yep, got to put an R in it.

[01:00:11] And I don't want to live this life without boy shorts.

[01:00:21] Jesus Christ.

[01:00:22] He's wearing boy shorts now.

[01:00:24] I'm not wearing them.

[01:00:25] But you can't live without them, right?

[01:00:28] Oh, sorry.

[01:00:28] You guys don't.

[01:00:30] I like my women petite and they wear boy shorts with sexy butts.

[01:00:34] You might not know about them.

[01:00:35] They're booty shorts.

[01:00:37] No, those are two different things.

[01:00:41] All right.

[01:00:42] Don't get me started again.

[01:00:45] We're doing it again.

[01:00:45] Don't get me started.

[01:00:46] You know boy shorts.

[01:00:47] Back at it.

[01:00:48] And booty shorts are two different things.

[01:00:49] Okay.

[01:00:50] Whatever.

[01:00:50] Anyway.

[01:00:52] Yeah, I'm standing on that mountain.

[01:00:54] I'll die there.

[01:00:56] According to you, that mountain doesn't exist just like Finland.

[01:01:00] Finland doesn't exist.

[01:01:02] Not at all.

[01:01:03] Well, that mountain's in Finland, bud.

[01:01:04] It's on the map, but it's not there.

[01:01:05] What are you going to do about that, huh?

[01:01:06] If that mountain is in Finland, how are you going to stand on it?

[01:01:10] They're going to do a lot of hallucinogens.

[01:01:12] Then it's a volcano and it's a self-produced island in the island chain that is Finland.

[01:01:19] There's no fucking island chain right there.

[01:01:21] Sure there's not.

[01:01:22] Have you been there?

[01:01:24] Yeah.

[01:01:24] Yeah.

[01:01:25] No, you fucking have it.

[01:01:26] Last fucking week.

[01:01:27] You're a liar.

[01:01:28] I don't want to talk about it.

[01:01:29] I don't want to talk about it.

[01:01:32] There's like 14% of the planet.

[01:01:34] That's you people.

[01:01:35] I got it right here.

[01:01:36] Right?

[01:01:36] There's 9 billion people on Earth?

[01:01:38] Listen, there are quite a...

[01:01:39] Have you seen them?

[01:01:39] Have you seen them all?

[01:01:40] There are quite a few islands.

[01:01:41] You talked to them about...

[01:01:42] Sure there's 9 billion?

[01:01:43] There's quite a few islands, but there's one giant landmass.

[01:01:47] That's the thing that they tell you.

[01:01:48] There's one giant landmass that's separated.

[01:01:53] One hundredth the size of Italy.

[01:01:56] Finland across...

[01:01:57] Without the Sicily boot.

[01:01:59] It's not even close.

[01:01:59] No, it's...

[01:02:01] Dude, it is so much larger than Italy.

[01:02:03] Uh-huh.

[01:02:03] Yeah, it's huge.

[01:02:04] That's what they told you.

[01:02:06] Listen.

[01:02:06] They also told me that Africa was really small, and guess what?

[01:02:09] It's pretty fucking big.

[01:02:10] It's the biggest continent on the planet.

[01:02:12] That's right.

[01:02:14] And Finland exists?

[01:02:15] You just proved my point.

[01:02:16] You just proved my point.

[01:02:18] You just proved my point.

[01:02:18] Think it is?

[01:02:19] About Africa and Finland?

[01:02:20] You just proved my point.

[01:02:21] There's no correlation, sir.

[01:02:24] Africa is twice as big as it is, and Finland...

[01:02:27] Finfricken.

[01:02:28] ...doesn't exist.

[01:02:30] Finfrillin.

[01:02:31] You're Fending for land.

[01:02:33] Next, you're going to tell me that there's an ice wall, and there's the rest of the earth

[01:02:37] past the ice wall.

[01:02:38] Yeah, that's literally the other thing.

[01:02:41] The world is flat.

[01:02:42] You know one-third of the actual earth that exists.

[01:02:45] There's a whole other thing up there that we don't...

[01:02:47] It's flat.

[01:02:47] You didn't go there.

[01:02:49] I've been.

[01:02:51] I've been twice.

[01:02:52] Just like me going to Finland last week, yeah.

[01:02:54] How was it?

[01:02:55] Finfinfin.

[01:02:57] It was...

[01:02:58] What'd you guys get your Antarctica pass?

[01:02:59] You'll know what I'm talking about.

[01:03:00] It's fine.

[01:03:02] Oh, it was like...

[01:03:03] It was fine.

[01:03:04] Is there like a stamp on your passport that they give you?

[01:03:06] Oh, yeah?

[01:03:07] Yeah.

[01:03:07] Did you get like an award?

[01:03:09] A ribbon?

[01:03:09] Me, Steve Jobs, Nick...

[01:03:12] And Johnny Hopkins?

[01:03:13] Tesla has been there.

[01:03:14] Smoking that shit every day, huh?

[01:03:18] Remember the first time I went there, I saw a dinosaur?

[01:03:21] Tima yi pa'vivla.

[01:03:22] And I was like, that's a big pile of shit?

[01:03:24] Then I said, fuck Jeff, go blow.

[01:03:26] Uno ma cerveza, por favor.

[01:03:28] Tima yi pa'vivla.

[01:03:29] Uno ma cerveza, por favor.

[01:03:31] He's saying don't talk to shit.

[01:03:32] Tima yi pa'vivla.

[01:03:33] Dos poverbois.

[01:03:34] Tima yi pa'vivla.

[01:03:36] Yeah, I don't speak gibberish.

[01:03:37] Tima yi pa'vivla.

[01:03:38] That's, um, uh, it's not French.

[01:03:42] It's, um...

[01:03:44] Tima yi pa'vivla.

[01:03:45] Yeah.

[01:03:47] Like, kind of...

[01:03:47] Billy for French?

[01:03:48] No, it's kind of like...

[01:03:49] Wow.

[01:03:49] It ain't Billy for French.

[01:03:50] Damn.

[01:03:50] It's kind of Creole, but not really.

[01:03:54] It's Haitian?

[01:03:55] Yeah.

[01:03:56] It's like a mix.

[01:03:57] It's like a different dialect.

[01:04:00] Yeah.

[01:04:01] I'm gonna sayo.

[01:04:09] It's...

[01:04:12] It's...

[01:04:13] It's...

[01:04:14] It's...

[01:04:16] It's...

[01:04:16] It's...

[01:04:20] It's...

[01:04:23] It's...

[01:04:26] It's...

[01:04:27] It's accurate as fuck.

[01:04:30] Oh, yeah.

[01:04:31] Oh, yeah.

[01:04:32] That's a shot.

[01:04:32] What it hits you dead in your fake gold chain.

[01:04:36] Hey, look at that face.

[01:04:37] Wow.

[01:04:38] So the QB leaks was fake.

[01:04:41] Wow.

[01:04:43] I'm just kidding.

[01:04:44] He called the Linky fake.

[01:04:46] Yeah.

[01:04:47] It's fake.

[01:04:49] His neck ain't green, so it's real.

[01:04:51] Gang green.

[01:04:52] All around my neck.

[01:04:53] Yeah.

[01:04:55] That shit happens if it's fake.

[01:04:56] All around my neck.

[01:04:57] All around my neck.

[01:04:58] Shit leaves a...

[01:04:59] Gangs of green.

[01:05:00] Got gangs of green.

[01:05:01] Stain.

[01:05:03] Can't...

[01:05:03] Can't wear it in the shower.

[01:05:05] And you probably shouldn't.

[01:05:07] This is...

[01:05:09] Oh, that's...

[01:05:10] I mean, you shouldn't anyway, but...

[01:05:12] Oh, nigga.

[01:05:13] I never take this off.

[01:05:14] Who am I to say?

[01:05:15] You know?

[01:05:16] I've never bathed without this off.

[01:05:18] I never take this off.

[01:05:19] I'm never taking this off.

[01:05:22] It's not going to tarnish because it's real.

[01:05:23] I'm never washing this hand again.

[01:05:27] Never.

[01:05:28] Never.

[01:05:28] Nah, it just won't tarnish if it's real.

[01:05:30] I fucking...

[01:05:31] Won't.

[01:05:32] Pocahontas over here.

[01:05:37] When did that happen?

[01:05:43] I'm the Princess Zamunda.

[01:05:45] Right?

[01:05:45] I'm Munda.

[01:05:46] Princess Zamunda?

[01:05:47] That's what I...

[01:05:49] Princess Zamunda.

[01:05:50] Princess Zamunda.

[01:05:51] That's not what the fuck you heard.

[01:05:52] Coming to America.

[01:05:53] I see.

[01:05:54] That's why.

[01:05:54] That's what I heard.

[01:05:56] Princess Zamunda.

[01:05:57] That's what everyone heard.

[01:05:58] Warning.

[01:05:59] Coming in America.

[01:06:00] Coming in America.

[01:06:01] Incoming threat for the whole fucking...

[01:06:05] I give you shit at this point.

[01:06:09] That's a dollar.

[01:06:10] That didn't deserve it.

[01:06:11] Fuck y'all.

[01:06:13] No, no, no.

[01:06:13] That coming in America, that's back to the whole...

[01:06:16] Alexis, Texas?

[01:06:18] Did you say coming in America?

[01:06:20] Yes, because that's what we're trying to do to America what they did to us.

[01:06:24] Oh.

[01:06:25] And that's fuck them.

[01:06:26] Okay.

[01:06:27] That's why I come on America.

[01:06:30] If not...

[01:06:31] Technically, you do.

[01:06:34] When you don't come in her...

[01:06:36] Yeah, it's on the sheets?

[01:06:37] No, you would have to make sure it's on soil.

[01:06:41] Soil?

[01:06:44] It's gotta be on soil.

[01:06:46] He's just on a rampage, just coming in everyone's garden.

[01:06:49] Just go outside and rub one out every now and then.

[01:06:53] Fertilizing.

[01:06:54] What is this?

[01:06:55] Soil?

[01:06:56] Hitting the cherries before they're maraschinoed.

[01:07:00] Everyone's gotta have a hobby, right?

[01:07:04] I will not stop you there.

[01:07:06] I will not stop you there.

[01:07:09] Do what you gotta do, player.

[01:07:10] Great hobby.

[01:07:13] Like Hobby Lobby.

[01:07:14] I like to wake up every morning, have a nice cup of coffee.

[01:07:17] I piss excellence.

[01:07:18] No, I wake up every morning...

[01:07:19] And then masturbate on my tomatoes.

[01:07:20] Piss excellence.

[01:07:22] I win here and I win there.

[01:07:26] I'm winning.

[01:07:28] I didn't think I'd hear that tonight.

[01:07:29] As a vegan, I like to beat my meat as much as possible.

[01:07:33] Wow.

[01:07:34] Jesus Christ.

[01:07:35] They're called cucumbers for a reason.

[01:07:38] Because women use them as dildos?

[01:07:41] As cum objects, yeah.

[01:07:43] Wow.

[01:07:43] We should stop recording.

[01:07:47] Did you say cum objects?

[01:07:49] We should cut to...

[01:07:51] Do you know from experience?

[01:07:55] I've stuck a couple of pickles...

[01:07:57] Oh, alright.

[01:07:58] Alright, that's enough.

[01:08:00] That's enough.

[01:08:01] Did you say pickles?

[01:08:03] I mean, at this point...

[01:08:05] I just lit a couple of sloppy sea thumbs.

[01:08:07] That's what makes it even crazier.

[01:08:08] It'd be a fish pickle.

[01:08:10] So it was a pickle?

[01:08:12] You put a Klaassen in her?

[01:08:15] It's a classic.

[01:08:17] A crescent?

[01:08:18] It's a classic.

[01:08:19] It's a crescent?

[01:08:21] It starts in the V and then she vomits up a pickle.

[01:08:25] Oh, my...

[01:08:26] It's a cucumber to start the...

[01:08:28] What?

[01:08:29] Jesus Christ.

[01:08:30] What?

[01:08:31] It just happened.

[01:08:32] Let's go.

[01:08:33] I'm not familiar with that pickling process.

[01:08:35] Let's fucking go.

[01:08:36] Good night, San Francisco.

[01:08:38] Let's go.

[01:08:39] Stay classy.

[01:08:40] Go fuck yourself, San Diego.

[01:08:42] Yeah.

[01:08:43] So that's how they're doing it.

[01:08:44] Yeah.

[01:08:44] So that's how pickles are made.

[01:08:47] It's called the vickle.

[01:08:47] That's why vlassics are just all natural.

[01:08:51] I'm a pickle.

[01:08:52] That's why it's a cum object.

[01:08:55] All right.

[01:08:55] Stick them in the pickle for one time.

[01:08:57] Cue cum...

[01:09:00] Cumbersome?

[01:09:02] It's usually not a problem for them, actually.

[01:09:04] It's cum for some.

[01:09:09] It's usually not a problem.

[01:09:10] It's just cum for some.

[01:09:14] Maybe.

[01:09:15] Why is the sea so salty?

[01:09:18] Y'all have issues.

[01:09:20] Welcome...

[01:09:21] to the insane asylum.

[01:09:26] You missed...

[01:09:27] The fuck was that?

[01:09:28] Nothing.

[01:09:30] Doesn't matter.

[01:09:31] It's dead now.

[01:09:34] Because I'm hungry for action.

[01:09:36] Hungry for blood.

[01:09:38] Hell...

[01:09:39] I'm just plain old hungry.

[01:09:43] Don't you ever put your hand...

[01:09:47] Hear me?

[01:09:48] ...on a woman again.

[01:09:50] Hear me?

[01:09:51] Hear me?

[01:09:52] Ever?

[01:09:53] Him-huh.

[01:09:54] Damn-huh.

[01:09:56] I've been known to cut a little rug in my day.

[01:09:59] Woo!

[01:10:00] Woo!

[01:10:00] Shout out...

[01:10:01] Okay, shout out to the tech guy.

[01:10:03] He tried to try out for a dance team.

[01:10:07] Never thought he would cut rug without...

[01:10:11] A lot of...

[01:10:12] Having a stroke.

[01:10:13] Yeah.

[01:10:15] Seizures and...

[01:10:16] Seizures Sally?

[01:10:18] Why?

[01:10:20] I'm very proud of him.

[01:10:21] No, no, no, no.

[01:10:22] We're just talking shit.

[01:10:23] He's expanding his...

[01:10:24] But not, but not, but not.

[01:10:25] ...horizons.

[01:10:26] And I'm very proud of him.

[01:10:27] Look, look, look, look.

[01:10:27] That's big ups.

[01:10:28] I'm being serious.

[01:10:29] That's big ups.

[01:10:30] Big ups.

[01:10:31] My tech guy tried something out of his norm.

[01:10:33] Because if this nigga would have made it, bro, we would have been...

[01:10:35] I would still tell the...

[01:10:35] I'm gonna make...

[01:10:36] I'm gonna fucking make it next year.

[01:10:37] I would be floored.

[01:10:38] See?

[01:10:39] Determination.

[01:10:40] I would be floored.

[01:10:41] I'm going to make it next year.

[01:10:43] Determination.

[01:10:44] That's what I'm talking about.

[01:10:47] Shitload of fun.

[01:10:48] Like, honestly, y'all should fucking try out with me next year.

[01:10:51] Yeah, right.

[01:10:52] I would...

[01:10:52] I would...

[01:10:52] It really is.

[01:10:53] Are you telling us to start a dance team right now?

[01:10:56] I'm not stepping.

[01:10:58] I am.

[01:10:59] I would pre-qualify.

[01:11:01] Guilty.

[01:11:01] Guilty.

[01:11:02] I'm the best...

[01:11:02] We could go by DDD dancing dad bods.

[01:11:05] I'm the best dancer.

[01:11:08] It's kind of catchy.

[01:11:09] I mean, why would you not want to do this?

[01:11:11] I'm just the greatest that never was.

[01:11:13] Because I got three kids and I'm not about to pass out in front of thousands of people.

[01:11:17] No, I mean, like, that's the greatest reason to do that.

[01:11:19] For the hell of it.

[01:11:20] Extra time away from your kids.

[01:11:21] Nah.

[01:11:22] Huh.

[01:11:23] There's no extra time away from the kids.

[01:11:25] Oh, it is if you have to do this.

[01:11:27] Shit.

[01:11:27] They're coming with me.

[01:11:36] Melon.

[01:11:37] Oh, this one's good.

[01:11:40] It's pretty tasty.

[01:11:44] This one ain't bad either.

[01:11:51] It tastes...

[01:11:53] All right, fuck off.