Spring Resilient Week Three: Growth in Surrender with Roger Teel

[00:00:00] We're so happy to have you here and we invite you to join us for upcoming Easter services on Sunday March 31st Reverend Josh will be speaking about the resurrection of humanity and we've got great music being provided by Tom Litch and Jennifer Burnett and Dak Singleton and our Malha Band. It's going to be wonderful. Please join us.

[00:00:27] Boy, am I glad I'm speaking about surrender today. This is not an easy thing and sometimes that's the nature of it as we talk today about growth in surrender.

[00:00:41] You know, physicists and social scientists speak of critical mass and that's the point where the build up of contributing factors produces a total shift and a breakthrough in some person or process.

[00:01:07] Now, what they don't tell us is that critical mass is almost always preceded by critical mess.

[00:01:20] And so it is that today we're talking about surrendering, surrendering whatever's in the way of our best life and opening ourselves to releasing that which is getting in the way of our inherent creativity,

[00:01:34] our inherent love, our inherent growth in this life even when things get a little messy to surrender to surrender. As I consider the journey of my life so far,

[00:01:49] I can see that the times of my most significant growth were always preceded by times of equally significant surrendering.

[00:02:00] And I believe that that's a principle. That's a principle in this whole thing and that is that purposeful surrendering is absolutely an essential requirement for growth and evolution in our lives.

[00:02:13] So the real question is, will we open to that which has played itself out? That which is no longer supportive of the leading edge of our growth?

[00:02:26] Will we let go so that the greater within us has room and an opportunity to shine and to express?

[00:02:35] You see, there is in this universe throughout all of creation a divine intention for growth, evolution and becoming.

[00:02:45] And that divine intention is seeded throughout all of creation in everything and everyone as a divine seed.

[00:02:54] There is a divine seed and with that divine seed there is both a divine urge for that seed defined full expression and there is a divine givingness of all the resources and necessities required for that seed to become all that it holds within us.

[00:03:13] That is throughout the whole universe and there are so many examples of this part of life that surrenders so that the greater can come forth.

[00:03:20] In nature, we see it all the time as the greenery and the fruits of the summer are surrendered in a give way in the fall and the winter to the greater harvest that is to come in the spring.

[00:03:33] And we see all of this and yet it's so darn scary and risky when we think of it in terms of our own life.

[00:03:40] It's scary and thus the tendency is to seek to avoid that divine urge.

[00:03:50] It could be too disruptive. It could upset the apple card of a really paid attention to that something within that wants to be and become.

[00:03:59] And then to try to sidestep every way we can this invitation to surrender to it, to let it have its way with us.

[00:04:09] So tempting. We say we want to advance and to grow and yet we cling.

[00:04:16] We cling to what is now.

[00:04:20] We cling to what we currently think and believe.

[00:04:25] We cling to what feels safest.

[00:04:29] We cling. We cling to what we've always done even if it's stifling, even if it's stifling.

[00:04:35] We say we're ready to accept something higher and better and yet the tendency is we continue to force our own will upon people and upon situations.

[00:04:46] And to resist change and all the wild of vast possibilities of the universe are just yearning for that time for each one of us,

[00:04:59] yearning for us to arrive at that time of our own personal critical mass, the transforming moments of surrendering.

[00:05:11] Now ultimately surrendering is really the courageous step we take to go beyond, to live beyond the fearful ego.

[00:05:23] Because that fearful ego which is grounded in a sense of personal inadequacy and separation, it defends against some of the most valuable things in life.

[00:05:34] It defends against love. It defends against change. It defends against anything that would make us vulnerable.

[00:05:43] And thus surrendering is the enemy of the ego and that's why it often couches it as weakness, your surrender, your weak.

[00:05:53] But actually our surrendering is indicative of the greatness and the power within us if we give it that possibility.

[00:06:04] Josh read a bunch of lines maybe more than necessary from my book.

[00:06:09] But I just that first line that came for me was rather than giving up its flowing with and opening into.

[00:06:20] And that's a very powerful thing when we get around to it.

[00:06:26] When the frustration builds, the pressure builds, the urge within us can no longer be ignored.

[00:06:34] We come to a place where we let it be and we enter into surrendering.

[00:06:41] And to discover that on the other side of our fear is enormous power and purpose.

[00:06:49] I'm here to tell you on the other side of your fears is tremendous power and purpose.

[00:06:57] Just bottom line in this whole thing, our surrendering is God's opening.

[00:07:05] Our surrendering is the opening we give to the divine spirit of the infinite intelligence, the open windows that we fling open that allow the light in that allows guidance and good and transformation to go forth in our lives.

[00:07:23] It allows us to be led along a path we don't quite understand but one that turns out to be perfect ultimately.

[00:07:30] And the only way we get to realize that is through surrendering.

[00:07:36] My surrendering is God's opening, the spirit's opportunity to rush in with guidance, with insight, with strength and courage to prosper me and bless me.

[00:07:51] So my heartfelt invitation to us this day sees the courage of surrendering.

[00:08:05] Sees that courage and there's some components to the courage of surrendering and the first is the courage to listen deeply.

[00:08:15] That's really the foundation for that leap of surrendering we listen.

[00:08:21] You know so many so much stuff gets broadcast in the media waves, in the collective conversations that are about so much broadcast in the circle of people around us and then there's the re-broadcast of our old tapes going on within us.

[00:08:41] Because so much gets broadcast, it's time we spent more time listening deeply.

[00:08:50] Because the first thing we're going to discover if we will get still is why we do these meditation retreats and listen deeply is we'll discern a presence and a voice that proclaims don't you remember that you're safe?

[00:09:08] You've forgotten.

[00:09:12] You've forgotten that you were created out of my love and you are held by my love and there's not a second that you're not supported by my love.

[00:09:22] Have you forgotten that you're safe?

[00:09:25] Have you forgotten that it is said that I will not leave you nor forsake you? Are you aware of that?

[00:09:33] Will you receive love in this holy instant within yourself and allow it to blossom forth as a trust for your journey?

[00:09:49] A trust for your journey, understanding that you don't know the fullness of your being. You don't know the fullness of what your life is designed and destined to become.

[00:09:58] All I ask is you trust it and listen deeply.

[00:10:05] And then our hearts open and encourage emerges to take steps into the young known and just see what can be built up, how we will grow, what we will become.

[00:10:20] Listen deeply. And as you listen deeply, listen also deeply to your heart and to the dream woven into the very fabric of your being, the fabric of your heart.

[00:10:32] Listen to what wants to be in you. Every one of us is this specialized unique facet of life through which the one light shines and that light created you has need of you and there's gifts in you, possibilities in you, some you know and most you don't.

[00:10:47] And so we get time apart and we listen. We listen beyond what we think we know to the deep knower within us that says this is the path walk ye and it, this is the path.

[00:11:07] So it begins by listening deeply. Maybe you remember the wonderful Andrew young in a college address on graduation address that he presented he writes or he said, if I'd gone home and told my mother mom, I'm going back to Georgia and I'm going to become a preacher and a congressman and an ambassador to the United Nations and I'm going to end up as mayor of Atlanta and we're going to bring the Olympic Games to Georgia.

[00:11:37] My mother would have begun to look for a psychiatrist. Even my mother could not conceive of the kind of success that I have seen and which I have achieved, not because I was trying to be successful but simply because I began asking what it was that God wanted me to do with my life and where the power and spirit of God was leading me.

[00:12:01] That's the deep listening in a universe that wants us to know it's safe to be who we are fully and progressively. Yeah, the courage to listen deeply and then there is the courage to look honestly.

[00:12:16] This may be one of the more challenging ones because there have been times in my life I've been humbled by taking an honest look at myself but in that humbling, there has been tremendous growth and becoming.

[00:12:30] You see, there are times when it's important to pause and take stock of how we're thinking, how we're speaking, what we're believing and what we're about and to ask ourselves, is this my best?

[00:12:44] Or is it time for me to surrender? Things I've been leaning on, crutches I've been leaning on.

[00:12:52] Ways I avoid life, way I judge, little misses within me is a time to let that go. I don't need that.

[00:13:02] So we take an honest look. I remember a time when I had graduated from the University of Denver and it was in the summer and I needed to earn a whole lot of money to take my next step which was to go to our school of ministry in Los Angeles and enter into that program.

[00:13:20] So I needed to make more money than I was making playing four nights a week playing Banjo at Chakies for four nights weeks.

[00:13:27] And you laugh because...

[00:13:33] No, it's an honorable profession.

[00:13:36] I'll be at a dying one but it's an honorable one.

[00:13:40] So I got a job as a laborer for a plumbing company and they were installing new plumbing for a housing development.

[00:13:47] And I found myself in deep in these ditches that were being carved up by a backhoe and I was smoothing out the ditches.

[00:13:57] And my first week there it was not only a trendously physically challenging but then I was in this space, I'm a graduate.

[00:14:08] And I found myself looking down on the workers and judging them and thinking these aren't my people but I think I'll make it through the summer you know, and all this kind of stuff.

[00:14:18] Well I got to the end of the week and enjoyed a weekend and then I had to gear myself up to go back and in the process I stopped and thought...

[00:14:27] I don't like what I'm doing here.

[00:14:30] This isn't who I am and what I'm about.

[00:14:35] So I made a change.

[00:14:37] And I went back on that first day rather than avoiding the workers at breaks and lunches, I joined them.

[00:14:44] First with my backhoe operator got to know him, asked questions about him, got to know some of the other workers and I kept doing that all summer until...

[00:14:53] On that last day when I had to leave, I was in tears.

[00:14:56] They'd crawled right into my heart or maybe I just opened my heart up to them.

[00:15:01] And it taught me sometimes you take an honest look and one of the first things you discover that is time to surrender are judgements and demands that people be different than they are.

[00:15:12] I mean what business is it of ours?

[00:15:15] To think we know who and how a person ought to be.

[00:15:19] And so we take an honest look and we say I'm going to surrender that and see how my life grows.

[00:15:24] Maybe you're doing an honest look and you discover it's time to surrender a lifelong belief in struggling, that everything I do has to be a struggle.

[00:15:34] Any of you?

[00:15:37] It's kind of like that Chinese finger puzzle, the woven tube.

[00:15:44] And you put your finger in and you start pulling at that thing and struggling, you're never going to get out of it.

[00:15:49] And that's some of the way many live but you relax and with grace you release your fingers into freedom.

[00:15:54] Maybe you look within and you decide it's time to surrender my addiction to controlling and manipulating.

[00:16:04] Or my addiction to worrying about anything and everyone that I can.

[00:16:09] Maybe it's time to let that go.

[00:16:11] There's got to be something better to replace it.

[00:16:14] We look honestly within and at times in pure honesty we realize it's time to heal a hurt and a resentment.

[00:16:24] It's time to surrender that.

[00:16:26] It no longer serves me, never did really.

[00:16:29] It's time to forgive.

[00:16:31] Maybe you'll look within and realize it's time to surrender my demand that the universe guarantee me success, that I have to know how things are going to turn out before I take any steps forward.

[00:16:48] Maybe that's the surrendering.

[00:16:52] I tell you what, whatever it is we take an honest look and we begin to be aware of the ways we get in the way.

[00:16:59] And then we begin to prepare ourselves to take the advice of Emerson who said let us get our bloated nothingness out of the way of the divine circuits.

[00:17:09] And we decide I'm going to let go of this stuff.

[00:17:12] Mostly different masks that fear wears.

[00:17:16] They're not strategies that support me and my life is bigger than that if I'll let it be.

[00:17:22] So yeah, it's listening deeply and it's looking honestly and there's one other component to this courageous surrendering and that is the courage to say yes.

[00:17:34] To take that step of being a yes to the universe.

[00:17:39] Now for most of my life, well not most of it but at times in my life, I wasn't a yes, I was a maybe.

[00:17:48] And don't sit there looking pious at me because I know that that's a very typical thing.

[00:17:57] Life says there's a great adventure before you. You can't even imagine it.

[00:18:01] Let's go when we say hmm, let me think about that.

[00:18:06] Let me wait till I'm ready. I'm not ready yet.

[00:18:11] I need to be more prepared.

[00:18:15] And life says well it's up to you and you had a great adventure awaits.

[00:18:22] The power of a yes.

[00:18:26] It really means that we step beyond living as a fear-based person.

[00:18:31] Then we become a heart centered and a love-based person.

[00:18:34] Willing to trust, doesn't mean we're not afraid.

[00:18:37] It's just we're not fear-based.

[00:18:40] Oh you're going to be afraid.

[00:18:42] It's just that it's important to make sure fear is in the backseat, not in the driver's seat.

[00:18:49] And that we're a yes. That we put that thing in gear and we go for it in this life.

[00:18:56] A yes even if it feels risky.

[00:18:58] A yes even if it means course corrections or changes in life.

[00:19:03] Through much of Christianity today's an important commemoration, it is Palm Sunday.

[00:19:09] And this commemorates what has been called the Great Decision.

[00:19:14] One of history's greatest examples of spiritual integrity.

[00:19:18] It was the time at the completion, during the completion of about three years of Jesus' work largely and gallantly.

[00:19:28] When he after a time of introspection in a small village realized the guidance within him was to go back into Jerusalem.

[00:19:37] It was a while back.

[00:19:40] But he had become indeed a superstar.

[00:19:44] His word of what he was about and what he was doing at Spread Farmwide.

[00:19:49] And he knew that to go back into Jerusalem and to bring his message of oneness,

[00:19:55] that everyone is a child of God, and that all are powerful,

[00:20:00] was going to be enormously threatening to the various power structures of the day.

[00:20:06] He knew that. In fact he even told his disciples that if he were to go back it would be his demise.

[00:20:11] And yet he said yes because he knew it was important and that it was time.

[00:20:19] And so six days before the feast of the Passover, he borrowed a donkey and he rode into Jerusalem.

[00:20:27] And the people knew he was coming and they gave him a hero's welcome of laying palm fronds on the road before him.

[00:20:34] And they were yelling out, Hosanna! Hosanna! I think that means like, oh dude you're the one.

[00:20:41] Hosanna! Hosanna! If he didn't really give that much credence because he knew that in a few short days those same voices would be yelling crucify him.

[00:20:53] Crucify him.

[00:20:57] A great decision because his misgivings didn't get in the way.

[00:21:03] For him the outcomes were not as important as remaining true to his purpose,

[00:21:09] and to that which was calling and directing him in his life.

[00:21:14] Now I don't think many of us are called to be a yes in that kind of a situation very often.

[00:21:22] And yet we know that it can be daunting to be a full out yes to what beckons.

[00:21:30] And yet again there's so much power in that.

[00:21:34] And we remember that I've listened deeply to something that says, I'm a being of purpose.

[00:21:39] I'm here because I'm meant to be here.

[00:21:42] And I'm going to go forward into that for which I am destined and designed.

[00:21:47] And sometimes it means a course change, or a lot of course changes.

[00:21:52] As I've reflected on this talk this past week, I've just been even more poignantly aware of how much surrendering I've been doing over most of my life surrendering to opportunities and risks and changes.

[00:22:09] Beginning when I was six years old just laying on the grass looking at the sky and then I have this transcendent experience that changes me deeply.

[00:22:19] And then all of a sudden I start wanting to go to church and stuff like that.

[00:22:24] And then I enrolled in the University of Denver and halfway through, I'm completing a psychology major in the voice within.

[00:22:29] That pesky voice within says, this isn't it.

[00:22:33] This isn't it.

[00:22:36] And so I surrendered my plan much to the chagrinna, my parents paying for college.

[00:22:42] And I embraced a major in religion.

[00:22:45] Then a couple of years later I graduated as I shared earlier and there were voices around me saying, well, get a real job.

[00:22:53] The Ministry is a dying profession.

[00:22:56] You know, get a real job. And I had to surrender my allegiance to those forces and voices and say yes.

[00:23:06] And I did and I went out to California.

[00:23:09] And then when I graduated from that program at the right age of 24, inner voices were shouting, you're not ready?

[00:23:18] Who are you at 24 to go work with people and help them live their lives?

[00:23:22] And I did a job for 10 years and then maybe you'll have something to give.

[00:23:27] But there came a time when I realized, nope, I'm going to surrender that the clutches of that in my life and I'm going to go for it.

[00:23:36] And I said yes to a small group of people up in Portland, Oregon.

[00:23:40] And they didn't know what they were doing and I didn't either so we were perfect for each other.

[00:23:46] And I just loved each other and learned together. And the darn church grew.

[00:23:51] Three years later we had purchased a building and were renovating it and Fred Vogue calls my predecessor as senior minister here for whom that building is built or is named.

[00:24:04] And Fred said, I need a great associate and I've loved you and watched you grow and come back.

[00:24:09] Course change. Course change. I come back here and enjoy 10 years as an associate minister.

[00:24:16] And a couple of years into that, I'd been in a three year relationship with a beautiful lady and all of a sudden she got cold feet and she simply left.

[00:24:25] We were planning our engagement and I write about this in my book and she left and she closed the door on even communicating about it.

[00:24:32] And I was floored. I was brought to my knees. I was heard. I was angry. I was upset.

[00:24:39] And it was eating away at me and thank God there were a few voices in my life that said get it together.

[00:24:45] Start working on this. And thank God I came to a place where I was willing to surrender self pity and victimhood and anger

[00:24:56] and start exploring what the opportunity for my growth and evolution was in that betrayal.

[00:25:03] And I found it and it was the greatest treasure I've ever discovered in my life which was the opening of my heart.

[00:25:09] And that made everything work but I had to surrender and stop using those things to try to get by.

[00:25:19] And then a couple of years later I'd on that patio over there, I turned around and there she is. There she is.

[00:25:27] And immediately something happens and our souls connected. I felt it so deep and it was so beautiful and I had to start surrendering again.

[00:25:38] I was wondering my fear of whether I was going to do relationship well this time around.

[00:25:44] Surrendering my thoughts about the kind of family I would have and realizing that all right I get to be an instant father.

[00:25:53] And so I married Eric and I adopted our kids at their very young ages and it's been the most joyous thing.

[00:26:01] But every step of the way, surrender, surrender, surrender.

[00:26:05] After a couple of years I married it down to me. It's time for me to leave Milhye. It was the toughest decision.

[00:26:11] And I went on a four-year journey. That surrendering to that guidance was so difficult.

[00:26:18] At the end of that four years they were four very powerful years of growing.

[00:26:23] I was succeeding as a minister in Huntington Beach, senior minister there and Fred calls again.

[00:26:29] And he says, I'm ready to retire. This is your church. You know you love it. Get back here.

[00:26:35] So Eric and I surrender. We had just said six months earlier, let's stay here now that this thing's going well and get our kids through high school.

[00:26:44] We bought a home and all of that and time to surrender all of that in allegiance to the highest and best.

[00:26:52] Are you about the highest and best or the expedient? And we came back here in 1993.

[00:27:01] I don't have time to go through so many of the things that have happened here but there's one I do want to mention because Dr. Razz was here in the first service.

[00:27:09] It was in 2006 and the congregation, all of us, we had surfaced that our biggest dream was to build a new sanctuary.

[00:27:15] And we hired an architectural firm and we did all the studies and programming.

[00:27:19] And they came forth with this building that they loved and I hate it.

[00:27:24] And Razz can fight it between services that he too was uneasy but it fit all of the parameters.

[00:27:31] I just wasn't in love with it. It didn't inspire me and he too.

[00:27:36] I was really troubled because we spent a lot of money to get this far.

[00:27:41] And so one morning in prayer and meditation, up pops an idea of the demonstration I had experienced right here with a company that came out and showed us a whole new technology of building domes 20 years ago.

[00:27:56] And I dug through my files and actually found the brochure which I have to this day that they gave us.

[00:28:01] And I excitedly called up Razz, I put that in his hand and I said let's see if this is going on still.

[00:28:06] And it was and here we are.

[00:28:11] Surrender.

[00:28:14] It's okay if you've gone a certain way and life says, got to go this way.

[00:28:23] And in 2017, that voice said you know 43 years of doing ministry this way.

[00:28:30] It's time to change.

[00:28:33] Do it a different way and do it in a way that you can continue to your own deepening.

[00:28:38] And so I made that decision that I know is a tough one that Dr. Kent has made.

[00:28:43] And that is to shift things but I didn't shift my love for this place.

[00:28:47] You know that and the love for this congregation and my enduring support.

[00:28:52] You'll always be here and yet it was a surrender of a tremendous magnitude for me because I said to that voice but it's going so well.

[00:29:03] Now you do that too right?

[00:29:05] Something says this is a new way and you say yeah but I really love this, this is right.

[00:29:13] And I guess we're a choice aren't we?

[00:29:18] Glad I made the choice I am.

[00:29:20] It's working out beautifully.

[00:29:21] So I look at all of this just to let you know that we're all on a journey and we've been surrendering more than we know but what if we made friends with that?

[00:29:31] And what if we marshaled on going the courage of surrendering sees the courage of surrendering takes some time apart a while and listen deeply.

[00:29:47] Look honestly what it's time to release and say yes.

[00:29:52] Because remember your surrendering is God's opening. Let's have a prayer.

[00:30:07] They sang let the river flow earlier.

[00:30:13] We become still and we move to our hearts together.

[00:30:18] That we might sit at the feet of the master within us.

[00:30:25] That place within us that is forever united with the infinite all originating creative spirit called by many names.

[00:30:36] God, love, atman, the Holy of Holies.

[00:30:44] And yet it's forever beyond the names and yet it's within you and within me how good to go to our hearts where we can enter into that kingdom of God that Jesus said is within us.

[00:31:03] And there we sit in the light, the light of love.

[00:31:10] Sit with me in this place where we are free though we shed fears and controlling and worrying and resistance.

[00:31:27] We shed ingrained patterns, things we've accepted when we didn't know the truth.

[00:31:41] And we step into the love and the integrity of our being.

[00:31:49] And as we do this together, know with me.

[00:31:55] I am now willing to allow the spirit of my true nature to guide me, to lead me.

[00:32:09] I move from the inner impulsion of love and the dream at the center of my being for finding ever new ways to exalt, to contribute in the share of my life.

[00:32:27] And I know that as I fall into alignment and allegiance with this guiding spirit, that all the ways and means are provided me.

[00:32:36] And I release and surrender the need to know what they are at a time.

[00:32:41] I am a yes.

[00:32:43] I am a yes for the deepest truest path.

[00:32:51] And I give thanks for the beautiful realization that my life is forever opening up and blossoming.

[00:33:01] And greater and greater good is heaped up for me and upon me, and that in all of this my light shines and I serve in a natural and beautiful way.

[00:33:15] And I say thank you, spirit.

[00:33:19] I am fully ready to partner with the divine in my life.

[00:33:27] As we know and accept these things, I speak a word of blessing you for I know that you are a God ordained being, a being of beauty and potential beyond realization.

[00:33:38] And I know that as you go forth with the courage of surrendering your life abounds, it deepens and unparalleled joys are yours going forward.

[00:33:50] For life is good. We're always safe and love is who we are.

[00:33:59] And as we know this and accept this and go forth to live this, may we also surround Kent and Kathleen, Routen Strauss with our ongoing love and support, gratitude for all they've contributed in excitement for their new adventure.

[00:34:16] Always understanding that though they're journeying to a distant land, we're one right here right now always.

[00:34:24] And for this truth in all of our lives we give thanks, we let it be so with joy and so it is.

[00:34:31] Thanks for listening to the Mile High Church Podcast.

[00:34:35] This podcast is made possible by the generous contributions from listeners like you.

[00:34:39] To make a donation please visit Mile High Church dot org.