Risk To Grow, Courage To Grow with Michelle Medrano

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to the Mile Hi Church Podcast. We're so glad you're here. I'll bet you're

[00:00:05] [SPEAKER_01]: here because you are a spiritual seeker and we just happen to have all sorts of

[00:00:10] [SPEAKER_01]: classes at Mile Hi Church online and in person. Come and learn more about the

[00:00:16] [SPEAKER_01]: depths of your spiritual nature. Come and learn about how to expand and

[00:00:21] [SPEAKER_01]: create the life you want. Our classes start the week of September 9th. Go to

[00:00:27] [SPEAKER_01]: MileHiChurch.org and click on classes to learn more. Today I'm talking about growth.

[00:00:35] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm talking about having, taking the risk to grow and having the courage to grow.

[00:00:43] [SPEAKER_01]: And this message was, I created it before I left for my sabbatical. I was

[00:00:48] [SPEAKER_01]: away for 40 days and came back last weekend and I had some elements of it

[00:00:54] [SPEAKER_01]: that I was working on and other things happened during my sabbatical that

[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_01]: really informed it for me personally. And I got really clear about the kind of

[00:01:04] [SPEAKER_01]: growth that I'm talking about. And here's what I think is happening on our

[00:01:08] [SPEAKER_01]: planet today that is challenging. I know there's lots of challenges we could

[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_01]: look at but I think overall, humanity is suffering the most from a lack of

[00:01:22] [SPEAKER_01]: spiritual self-esteem. We have often been brought into this world and

[00:01:28] [SPEAKER_01]: immediately given messages from the world we live in, from a lot of different

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_01]: places possibly. Might have been the family of origin that we came into

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_01]: that wanted us to have messages that maybe weren't necessarily mean or

[00:01:43] [SPEAKER_01]: cruel, sometimes helpful just about stay in your place. Don't be too much.

[00:01:49] [SPEAKER_01]: Don't get too full of yourself. Don't think too much of yourself, Missy or Mr.

[00:01:56] [SPEAKER_01]: Don't think you're all that. Be humble. Be quiet. Don't be big. Don't be loud.

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_01]: So you've got dreams. Be practical. And so that and sometimes things we've

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_01]: gotten from friends and education and spiritual teachings might have led us

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_01]: to believe we were less than that somehow there's God up there and we're

[00:02:26] [SPEAKER_01]: down here and we're not worthy of God's love. And that's why we suffer.

[00:02:31] [SPEAKER_01]: Some traditions have that message though if we read the sacred spiritual

[00:02:35] [SPEAKER_01]: texts, it's usually quite the opposite. We are loved beyond measure. We are

[00:02:40] [SPEAKER_01]: considered to be an amazing creation of the divine and loved unconditionally and

[00:02:48] [SPEAKER_01]: all that. But somehow what persists in our narratives about ourselves, our

[00:02:54] [SPEAKER_01]: life often is born out of well, I'm not really lovable. I'm not really good

[00:03:01] [SPEAKER_01]: enough or I don't even know if I'm worth it. This is a common struggle for

[00:03:08] [SPEAKER_01]: humanity and I call it a lack of spiritual self-esteem because I can tell by our

[00:03:16] [SPEAKER_01]: teaching and what we bring forth to the world as do many other faith traditions

[00:03:21] [SPEAKER_01]: and personal growth movements and healing modalities. It's all about the

[00:03:27] [SPEAKER_01]: recovering and the reclaiming of that truth with the capital T is that we

[00:03:33] [SPEAKER_01]: are magnificent beyond measure each one of us and I imagine a world if we

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_01]: could but truly grasp and embody and live from that awareness of us. What

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_01]: might it be like? What happens for many of us who are struggling then with

[00:03:55] [SPEAKER_01]: this spiritual self-esteem issue is that all the while this is going on,

[00:04:00] [SPEAKER_01]: we have an urge to grow and to do more, to accomplish or to bring forth our

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_01]: dreams for ourselves or for people on the planet to make a difference, to be a

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_01]: part of something spectacular. However sometimes our spiritual, our low

[00:04:20] [SPEAKER_01]: spiritual self-esteem gets mixed up in that desire and then the risks we

[00:04:26] [SPEAKER_01]: take are born out of a lack of self-worth or a lack of self-love. One

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_01]: example might be I feel this desire to be in a partnership with a romantic

[00:04:39] [SPEAKER_01]: partner, I want to find the right person to share my life and so I do this

[00:04:45] [SPEAKER_01]: because I desperately need to prove that I'm loved and lovable. That's not

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_01]: everything. It's never the dream that we're going for that is off, it's the

[00:05:05] [SPEAKER_01]: how we're going for it versus I'm a spiritually magnificent being of life

[00:05:12] [SPEAKER_01]: who has so much life and love to give and I choose to share that with all

[00:05:19] [SPEAKER_01]: of the beings in my life and with a partner, a beloved on the journey.

[00:05:25] [SPEAKER_01]: There's so many examples of this. If we look at what's really motivating us,

[00:05:31] [SPEAKER_01]: sometimes what's motivating us is lack and limitation and well I just need to

[00:05:37] [SPEAKER_01]: prove to my parents that I'm good enough or I just need to show people I can

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_01]: really do this or I really need for people to respect me. The ego part of

[00:05:47] [SPEAKER_01]: us, the self-identifying part of us wants to know and try to prove and

[00:05:52] [SPEAKER_01]: is always looking for. Am I am I lovable? Do people want to spend time with me?

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_01]: Do I have talent or don't I have talent? Do I have gifts to bear? Oh you say I

[00:06:02] [SPEAKER_01]: have gifts to bear. Well then it must be true. Versus the spiritual

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_01]: magnificence that just says yeah, I know who you are. I know what you are

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_01]: and that urge to grow is all about then shining and sharing the light.

[00:06:23] [SPEAKER_01]: Shining and doing what that within us is inviting us to give back to the world.

[00:06:31] [SPEAKER_01]: God expressed as us in us around us and through us. Ernest Holmes has many quotes

[00:06:41] [SPEAKER_01]: about this. My favorite is he says there is an inner urge in your own,

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_01]: in our own mind to grow, to expand, to break down the barriers of previous

[00:06:51] [SPEAKER_01]: limitations and to ever widen our experience. This persistent urge is a

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_01]: divine influence, an irresistible force and constitutes the greatest impulse in

[00:07:04] [SPEAKER_01]: human experience. Now the reason that it takes risk to grow this way and

[00:07:12] [SPEAKER_01]: courage is not the norm. And when we think about it one way we might know

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_01]: that we fall in pray to this low spiritual experience is if a huge part of

[00:07:24] [SPEAKER_01]: what motivates us every day is to be normal. I just want people to think

[00:07:29] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm normal. That's just too low. That's too low of a bar. First of all no one

[00:07:35] [SPEAKER_01]: can really define it but it also is just too low of a bar when we're meant

[00:07:41] [SPEAKER_01]: to be the magnificent unique self that we are. Why be normal? Normal's meh.

[00:07:49] [SPEAKER_01]: So if we feel that urge that often is born out of that inner sense of pain,

[00:07:54] [SPEAKER_01]: that wondering if I'm enough. I just want to be normal versus I want to be my

[00:07:59] [SPEAKER_01]: unique authentic God express self. And it takes risk to be willing to do this

[00:08:08] [SPEAKER_01]: because sometimes we think pretty big and we have some big ideas and big

[00:08:13] [SPEAKER_01]: dreams and other people will be scared for us that we're thinking too big and

[00:08:19] [SPEAKER_01]: we're way out of our league and we're thinking too high of ourselves, high

[00:08:26] [SPEAKER_01]: and mighty and arrogance and all those labels that we might be slapped upon

[00:08:30] [SPEAKER_01]: when all the while this urge within us is to step up. And we see it in nature

[00:08:37] [SPEAKER_01]: everywhere we go. But one of the things about taking on this risky way of growing

[00:08:44] [SPEAKER_01]: is that it takes great courage because what it demands of us is the breaking up

[00:08:51] [SPEAKER_01]: of the shell of who we've thought we've been all our life. That ego state

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_01]: while the ego isn't a horrible thing, we don't need to get rid of it often

[00:09:01] [SPEAKER_01]: it's running the show and the ego is made up of who we think we are. All

[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_01]: the labels and identities we've taken on for ourselves and it's also made up of

[00:09:11] [SPEAKER_01]: all of our successes and it's also made up of all of our painful unresolved stuff.

[00:09:18] [SPEAKER_01]: And if we're living from it primarily and listening to it primarily that

[00:09:24] [SPEAKER_01]: becomes the nature of the creative energy that propels us forward to reach

[00:09:30] [SPEAKER_01]: for the things in our life. And I for one would love to have that nature within me

[00:09:37] [SPEAKER_01]: that is the essence of me really be the motivating factor more often than my

[00:09:45] [SPEAKER_01]: unhealed past, my stuff. But it takes a willingness to break up the shell and

[00:09:51] [SPEAKER_01]: let go of and sometimes set aside our old ideas of ourselves. But we see this

[00:09:58] [SPEAKER_01]: happening everywhere it's almost like imagine that God the divine is seeking to

[00:10:05] [SPEAKER_01]: inspire us by things like caterpillars spinning a cocoon locking themselves in

[00:10:13] [SPEAKER_01]: this icky icky stuff losing their entire self so that they can burst open out of

[00:10:22] [SPEAKER_01]: that cocoon into a butterfly and be transformed. Imagine the the seed the

[00:10:31] [SPEAKER_01]: little seed that gets put into the darkness of the earth and covered up

[00:10:37] [SPEAKER_01]: and then bursts open and something breaks through the soil and a flower a tree a

[00:10:45] [SPEAKER_01]: bush everywhere we look are the signs and the invitations in nature to say hey are

[00:10:53] [SPEAKER_01]: you willing to be transformed by letting that shell be broken open and acorns

[00:11:02] [SPEAKER_01]: think about acorns these little round things that become these gigantic oak

[00:11:09] [SPEAKER_01]: trees similar to us when we allow ourselves to be broken open like that. I found this story

[00:11:18] [SPEAKER_01]: while I was away that I just loved by author Cynthia Borgol she it's a French name I know the

[00:11:27] [SPEAKER_01]: Paris Olympics you think it would have helped me pronounce her name better but I didn't

[00:11:31] [SPEAKER_01]: learn French that well. She wrote a book called The Wisdom Way of Knowing and here's a story

[00:11:36] [SPEAKER_01]: she tells about some acorns once upon a time in a not so far away land there was a kingdom of acorns

[00:11:44] [SPEAKER_01]: nestled at the foot of a grand oak tree since the citizens of this kingdom were modern fully

[00:11:51] [SPEAKER_01]: westernized acorns they went about their business with purposeful energy and since they were mid-life

[00:11:57] [SPEAKER_01]: baby boomer acorns they engaged in a lot of self-help courses there were seminars called Getting All You

[00:12:08] [SPEAKER_01]: Can Out of Your Shell there were woundedness and recovery groups for acorns who had been

[00:12:15] [SPEAKER_01]: bruised in their original fall from the tree just like the inner child journey right there

[00:12:21] [SPEAKER_01]: were spas for oiling and polishing those shells and this is my favorite word in this whole

[00:12:26] [SPEAKER_01]: story and various acornopathic therapies to enhance longevity and well-being

[00:12:37] [SPEAKER_01]: one day in the midst of this kingdom there suddenly appeared a naughty little stranger

[00:12:43] [SPEAKER_01]: spelled K and O T T Y by the way who apparently dropped out of the blue by a passing bird

[00:12:51] [SPEAKER_01]: he was capless and dirty making an immediate negative impression on his fellow acorns and

[00:12:58] [SPEAKER_01]: crouched beneath the oak tree he stammered out a wild tale pointing upward at the tree he said

[00:13:06] [SPEAKER_01]: we are that delusional thinking obviously the other acorns concluded but one of them

[00:13:18] [SPEAKER_01]: continued to engage him in conversation so tell us how would we become that tree well he said

[00:13:25] [SPEAKER_01]: pointing downward it has something to do with going into the ground and cracking open the shell

[00:13:32] [SPEAKER_01]: insane they responded totally morbid why then we wouldn't be acorns anymore oh i hear that cry

[00:13:42] [SPEAKER_01]: in my own heart sometimes i want to be that and interestingly enough while i was on

[00:13:52] [SPEAKER_01]: my sabbatical i took a class from a a buddhist monk a woman who's was trained here in the

[00:14:00] [SPEAKER_01]: us and is now living in india teaching and her class was called the death of the ego

[00:14:08] [SPEAKER_01]: and i thought well that's really interesting and so one of the things she suggested is that we

[00:14:14] [SPEAKER_01]: do need to break apart the shell of the ego this is not about getting rid of as i said

[00:14:21] [SPEAKER_01]: or annihilating the ego self this is about the beautiful dance of the oneness and the uniqueness

[00:14:30] [SPEAKER_01]: of each one of us of the unity and the diversity each one of us allowing our highest self to be

[00:14:40] [SPEAKER_01]: expressed in its unique way we all have a unique way of doing that and so we can burst that shell

[00:14:48] [SPEAKER_01]: forward i love also the story about shrimp i learned in doing my research for this talk i had no idea

[00:14:54] [SPEAKER_01]: that they have their skeletons outside of their bodies and they have to discard their shells as

[00:15:01] [SPEAKER_01]: many as 26 times in one lifetime because of their growing essence in many ways i see when

[00:15:07] [SPEAKER_01]: we begin to do this we let go of that ego self that's driving us around and and surrender into

[00:15:15] [SPEAKER_01]: that deeper self we're letting go of that shell and in this class this teacher had us do a practice

[00:15:24] [SPEAKER_01]: that i offer today as a practice it's a very simple practice that can just allow us to set that

[00:15:30] [SPEAKER_01]: intention for remembering who i am and taking the risk to grow in that deep and spiritual way

[00:15:37] [SPEAKER_01]: she had us just put our focus down here on our lower part of our belly and breathe into it and

[00:15:44] [SPEAKER_01]: i found it fascinating that just like the acorn story her affirmation is we just breathe silently

[00:15:50] [SPEAKER_01]: and say i am that and we feel often i feel this expansive nature we know that in the old testament

[00:16:07] [SPEAKER_01]: in the when moses encountered god the bible says that god said i am that i am and other

[00:16:25] [SPEAKER_01]: because it takes focus and attention to turn our awareness from all this world of form and ego

[00:16:34] [SPEAKER_01]: self into the true nature of ourselves this is how we do it and i don't want to in any way shape

[00:16:44] [SPEAKER_01]: or form give us the impression that upon doing this everything then just is rosy peachy keen

[00:16:52] [SPEAKER_01]: perfect in life because sometimes it's not because that work itself is transformative and the breaking

[00:17:02] [SPEAKER_01]: apart of the shell can feel like it must feel to that caterpillar when it goes into the cocoon

[00:17:09] [SPEAKER_01]: it's cocooning when we take on this spiritual depth for ourselves it's the the working to

[00:17:17] [SPEAKER_01]: discover what's mine who am i what's the difference between that voice of the ego and that voice

[00:17:24] [SPEAKER_01]: of the divine in me but the more i practice i am that and then the more i stop seeing those

[00:17:33] [SPEAKER_01]: moments of challenge and growth as negative things it's discouraging to me when i hear people

[00:17:40] [SPEAKER_01]: think that because something bad happens to them that it's because god doesn't love them or

[00:17:46] [SPEAKER_01]: they're not lucky or for gosh sakes that they have stinking consciousness or horrible consciousness

[00:17:51] [SPEAKER_01]: about them what if it is that i have made a stake and a claim for my life to be the highest

[00:18:00] [SPEAKER_01]: and best version of myself and in taking that stand everything unlike that that does not fit

[00:18:06] [SPEAKER_01]: must be transformed and some shells are gonna have to break in the process yeah some letting go

[00:18:14] [SPEAKER_01]: right this is what can be known and felt as divine discontent this can be like

[00:18:22] [SPEAKER_01]: st john of the cross the dark night of the soul this can be like what joseph murphy describes

[00:18:28] [SPEAKER_01]: in the hero's journey it calls us to do our work but doing our work in this way becomes holy

[00:18:37] [SPEAKER_01]: sacred work because we know the outcome is the butterfly and we trust the process so we allow

[00:18:47] [SPEAKER_01]: ourselves to develop our spiritual self-esteem through inner practices i am that through our

[00:18:54] [SPEAKER_01]: prayer meditation through walking through these these moments where the shell is being invited

[00:19:01] [SPEAKER_01]: to crack to cocoon ourselves and be willing to do that holy sacred work and by reading sacred

[00:19:10] [SPEAKER_01]: and listening to music a lot of what i did on my my sabbaticals i listen listen to love songs if you

[00:19:17] [SPEAKER_01]: listen to love songs and imagine that god is singing to you

[00:19:24] [SPEAKER_01]: oh wow break open the heart right and so it takes courage to live our spiritual magnificence

[00:19:34] [SPEAKER_01]: but some of the benefits become a natural sense of joyfulness a sense of who we really are

[00:19:42] [SPEAKER_01]: even in the moments where it doesn't go perfectly a sense of delight that we showed up

[00:19:47] [SPEAKER_01]: fully and completely fearlessly we took the risk we had the courage we learned a lot

[00:19:55] [SPEAKER_01]: and we move on it is a connection with other people a love and an honor and a sense of self-respect

[00:20:07] [SPEAKER_01]: true spiritual self-esteem and i'd like to close with a quote one of the most famous quotes

[00:20:14] [SPEAKER_01]: from Marianne Williamson from her book a return to love that i remind myself all the time and today

[00:20:20] [SPEAKER_01]: i remind us when she says to us our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate our deepest fear

[00:20:27] [SPEAKER_01]: is that we are powerful beyond measure it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us

[00:20:35] [SPEAKER_01]: we ask ourselves who am i to be brilliant gorgeous talented fabulous actually who are you

[00:20:42] [SPEAKER_01]: not to be you are a child of god your playing small does not serve the world there is nothing

[00:20:52] [SPEAKER_01]: enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you and she goes on to

[00:21:00] [SPEAKER_01]: talk in this quote and as part of the book about our spiritual magnificence we are spiritual

[00:21:09] [SPEAKER_01]: magnificence let us take the risk to grow and have the spiritual courage to expand and uplift

[00:21:15] [SPEAKER_01]: and be fully alive join me now as we pray together i invite our practitioner prayer partners to stand

[00:21:22] [SPEAKER_01]: with me i want to also bring the family of a beloved mile higher larry magnuson into our prayers

[00:21:29] [SPEAKER_01]: today as we pray for he made his transition recently and he's been a man who was here

[00:21:36] [SPEAKER_01]: almost every sunday for many years and participating in our service so we bless you and thank you larry

[00:21:42] [SPEAKER_01]: and send our love to your family and i invite our practitioners to hold larry and his family

[00:21:47] [SPEAKER_01]: in their prayers and after service you can come forward and let one of these wonderful

[00:21:51] [SPEAKER_01]: practitioners support you in prayer today and for now we stand together we stand together in

[00:21:57] [SPEAKER_01]: oneness and wholeness we stand together in the truth we stand together in a vision

[00:22:03] [SPEAKER_01]: that god is all there is that this power this presence this infinite one is expressing itself

[00:22:09] [SPEAKER_01]: in through and as all of creation in through and as every being in through and as every situation

[00:22:15] [SPEAKER_01]: and condition we stand as one in this truth we see it we claim it we own it we allow ourselves

[00:22:23] [SPEAKER_01]: to acknowledge this reality this capital r reality and in doing so we celebrate the

[00:22:32] [SPEAKER_01]: magnificent presence that is us each one of us each being on this planet a magnificent being

[00:22:42] [SPEAKER_01]: god in form i know sometimes it's hard where we stand to look out at all of the humans on

[00:22:50] [SPEAKER_01]: this planet and see the truth and yet when we allow god consciousness to have its way in us

[00:22:57] [SPEAKER_01]: how can we not we can see the the magnificence that expresses itself in all of nature in all

[00:23:06] [SPEAKER_01]: beings everywhere and so i declare and accept that this day we stand and feel the energy

[00:23:14] [SPEAKER_01]: of this spiritual magnificence that rings through us as that affirmation i am that

[00:23:21] [SPEAKER_01]: and as i claim that i am that i accept this truth for myself and i greet and meet every being that

[00:23:30] [SPEAKER_01]: i come in contact with with that same awareness i see in them that infinite light and together

[00:23:40] [SPEAKER_01]: we walk this earth being and calling forth that deepening spiritual growth that is the true

[00:23:47] [SPEAKER_01]: nature of our beingness right here and right now oh we are so blessed we are so blessed

[00:23:56] [SPEAKER_01]: and i give thanks for this truth i simply release this prayer now letting it go and

[00:24:04] [SPEAKER_01]: letting it be knowing that it is done and together we say and so it is amen

[00:24:13] [SPEAKER_00]: thanks for listening to the mile high church podcast this podcast is made possible by the

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