Pushing Thru vs Pushing Pause: How to Discern Which Is Right For You

[00:00:01] Welcome to Make One Day Happen, the podcast that makes WooWoo relatable for busy founders,

[00:00:11] leaders, executives and high performers who give a fuck about prioritizing themselves

[00:00:15] in their personal and professional development. I'm your host Shenna Jean and on this show

[00:00:20] we'll cover the bases on a lot of different topics that relate to energy management,

[00:00:23] mindset, leadership and all things Woo through solo episodes and dope ass guest conversations.

[00:00:29] Our guest lineup is so fire and includes professional athletes, award winning musicians,

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[00:00:38] share their stories about how they've been able to make their One Day Happen with a little bit

[00:00:42] of Woo in their journey. My promise to you is that after every episode you'll leave energetically

[00:00:47] shifted with an elevated vibe and feeling hella grateful that you made some space for

[00:00:51] yourself along with some tangible things you can get into action with. So pull up a seat

[00:00:54] and let's get to it. Welcome back to the Make One Day Happen podcast. I'm your host Shenna

[00:01:05] Jean and today you got me. That's right. It's a solo episode and we're going to start talking

[00:01:10] about pushing through versus pushing pause. It's something that's been coming up with myself.

[00:01:15] It's been coming up in client conversations and friend conversations and this is an extremely

[00:01:21] important skill to hone honestly for any human and especially if you are a business owner,

[00:01:26] leader or entrepreneur. This is like one of the things that you've got to really figure out

[00:01:31] sooner than later because both are really valuable when they are used in the right context and both

[00:01:36] are extremely damaging when they're used in the wrong context. So this episode we're going to

[00:01:40] break that down a bit and may give you some tools to better navigate this crossroad because

[00:01:43] the answer actually is always hiding in your patterns and in your body knowledge. You're

[00:01:48] probably like, what the fuck does that mean, Shenna? And I'm going to get there. I promise. If

[00:01:53] you're a business owner then you stand at this crossroads damn near daily if not accurately

[00:01:58] and so naturally I found myself there last week. I was honestly I was there today too

[00:02:03] and this push and pull between do I push pause or do I push through? Do I push pause

[00:02:08] or do I push through? And last week it was in a frame of getting really excited to be back

[00:02:15] online doing all the things, showing up podcast and implementing new systems and assets

[00:02:20] and honestly y'all I was just doing the most. I was overextending myself and recognized

[00:02:25] that I was spreading myself too thin and had to make the call to push pause on an offering and

[00:02:32] know that I can come back to it later. It's also showing up Memorial days around the corner. I'm

[00:02:36] like, what am I doing for Memorial Day? There's the part of me that's like, ooh, three days

[00:02:41] to just like lean into work and like get some shit done where everybody else is out like

[00:02:45] partying on a boat. And then there's the part of me that's like, oh, opportunity to push

[00:02:49] pause, like actually relax and like chill for a sec. And it's this tug of war that happens

[00:02:56] in our soul. And I think one of the experiences that most leaders have when they're trying to

[00:03:02] figure this out and decide like which is the right path, we ask ourselves, which will I learn

[00:03:07] more from? Which is going to get me more results? Which is better for the business?

[00:03:10] And then we kind of stop there, think about it and make the call. However, the answer goes

[00:03:15] way deeper than that. The answer is going to be hiding in your subconscious patterns and in the

[00:03:20] wisdom of your body. So let's talk about patterns first. Okay, so we all have subconscious and

[00:03:26] conscious patterns that we're out here moving on. You likely have a default pattern in this

[00:03:31] situation already. My default pattern, and if you're an entrepreneur, I'd guess that yours

[00:03:36] would be this as well, is to push through, right? The programs, the narratives of hustle

[00:03:42] culture, capitalism, colonialism, a lot of the isms are honestly based on a push through pattern.

[00:03:48] And listen, yo, we can get some wins with this pattern, okay? We have a whole ass country and

[00:03:54] economy based on this pattern. We build businesses, we get degrees, we get promotions,

[00:03:58] we do all the things with this pattern. And it's important to lean into because when

[00:04:03] we're actually getting things done, we're bringing ideas and visions into form, like

[00:04:07] we need this pattern, all right? So there is nothing wrong with this being a default pattern.

[00:04:12] Where things can go wrong is when it's a default pattern that we're not consciously choosing

[00:04:17] and we continue to make that choice over and over and over again. So one of the most

[00:04:22] important questions that you can really ask yourself in discerning your pattern,

[00:04:26] is this option that I'm choosing right now, is it based in fear or is it based in trust?

[00:04:31] Okay, those are two very different vibrations, energies, sensations in your body. And if we slow

[00:04:38] down and really listen, like am I choosing this from a place of fear or am I choosing this from

[00:04:44] a place of trust? Then I think you'll start to see things differently, right? When you are

[00:04:50] in this decision of push through versus push pause. So kind of break this down and give

[00:04:56] examples, right? If you're pushing pause and deciding like I'm not going to do this workshop,

[00:05:01] is it out of imposter syndrome, is maybe perfectionism getting in the way, fear of

[00:05:06] failure, right? Those sorts of things are actually illusions. And you actually want to push through

[00:05:10] in that moment. But if you're pushing through on the opposite side, unconsciously in scarcity,

[00:05:15] this is the only chance I'm going to be able to do this. I've got to do this right now or

[00:05:19] I won't be able to get this client or whatever it might be, the fear of failure,

[00:05:23] some arbitrary deadline that doesn't really exist that we're just putting on ourselves,

[00:05:27] then that's going to be an opportunity to push pause and actually slow down and trust,

[00:05:32] right? So the difference between the two is subtle and also like really, really,

[00:05:38] really important. There's pros and cons to both of them. Pros around both. Let's talk about

[00:05:45] that for a second. Okay? The pros can be when we are leaning into pushing through, again, like I

[00:05:53] said, we get shit done. This is like our get shit done mode. This is what actualizes things

[00:05:57] in the world. When we decide to push through fear and false beliefs and narratives that don't

[00:06:02] actually serve us, we get to see who we actually can be. We get to realize our potential.

[00:06:07] We get to stand in confidence and say, holy shit, I actually did that. Did that instead of

[00:06:12] letting the fear and the doubt and the worry get in the way, right? So that's a pro. Those are

[00:06:18] the main pros for pushing through. Main pros for pushing pause, we get to slow down and rest.

[00:06:25] We get to listen from a completely different space. We get to reassess and listen for

[00:06:30] our narrative, see if we need to change things. We get to strategize from a different space

[00:06:34] because we're not in this constant go mode. When it comes to cons, you know, a little bit

[00:06:39] of the cons we touched on just a bit, but the cons of pushing through that's going to lead to

[00:06:44] burnout. That can lead to making mistakes, moving too quickly, sloppy results, half-baked

[00:06:50] projects. When we are pushing pause in an unconscious pattern, that often leads to

[00:06:56] depression. That can lead to immobilization, right? We get stuck in this like paralyzing

[00:07:02] perfectionism and we don't ever get out there because we're letting our fears and what we

[00:07:06] think other people might think about it or what could go wrong. What could go wrong hides so much

[00:07:12] in the pushing pause and not just getting out there. So there's pros and cons for both and

[00:07:16] recognizing that we've got the opportunity to really ask ourselves when we're in this

[00:07:21] decision-making mode, like where is my pattern? Where's my pattern coming from and which one

[00:07:29] would actually be the more aligned, right? Is this coming from a place of fear? If anything's

[00:07:35] ever coming from a place of fear, you got to make the different decision. As uncomfortable

[00:07:40] and unfamiliar as it may be, as humans we tend to actually get into a lot of situations where

[00:07:48] we're more comfortable with shit that actually doesn't serve us than the uncomfortable,

[00:07:54] unfamiliar where we're going to grow, we're going to learn from. So make the different

[00:07:58] decision, recognize your pattern, get to know which pattern you're operating from and go from

[00:08:03] there. Now, the other side that I really want to talk about and bring into this conversation is

[00:08:08] the role of the mind versus the body in making decisions like this. There's going to be

[00:08:12] absolutely like the default, I think for most people, I know for me for sure,

[00:08:17] is thinking about this and then overthinking about this and then really fucking overthinking

[00:08:22] about this, right? And so when you find yourself in that thought loop and that pattern

[00:08:26] and like, oh my God, what do I do? What do I do? Take your mind out of it, okay? Your mind

[00:08:32] is likely, especially if you have a default pattern of pushing through, it's likely programmed

[00:08:37] towards workaholism, hustle and grind narratives that aren't going to be helpful in this

[00:08:41] situation. So you really want to get into your body and listen from that space.

[00:08:46] Okay, Sheena, you're probably like, how the fuck do I do that? Great question, my friend,

[00:08:50] because I used to struggle with this a lot, a lot. And I still can honestly, like I said,

[00:08:56] when I let myself get all wrapped up in my head and my thought loops are going round and

[00:09:00] round, I forget that I have a whole ass body that's here to help me navigate things like this.

[00:09:05] And the way that I found that has worked so well for me, a lot of clients, is muscle testing

[00:09:12] from a regulated nervous system state. Okay, you're probably like, what is muscle testing?

[00:09:19] What do you mean by a regulated nervous system state? So I got you, stay with me. Honestly,

[00:09:24] the concept of muscle testing, I'm just in this moment recognizing is a whole nother episode

[00:09:28] in and of itself. So we'll do that. And the simple answer is that it's applied kinesiology,

[00:09:33] which is the science of muscles, where you actually test your body to get a positive or

[00:09:38] negative response. You push on some muscles and see if they stay strong or go weak,

[00:09:42] and then you know your positive or negative response. So when I find myself stuck in my

[00:09:46] head trying to make a decision, I drink water, I regulate myself with some breathing exercises,

[00:09:51] and then I muscle test for a response. And then I go with that because at the end of the day,

[00:09:55] I just need someone to make a decision when I'm stuck in indecision. And if it's just me as a

[00:10:00] solopreneur and I just got to make a decision now, then I'm going to lean into the wisdom

[00:10:03] of my body to let me guide that. If you want to learn more about this, Google it,

[00:10:08] muscle testing. It's a real ass thing, I promise. Check out the book, Power vs. Force

[00:10:12] by Dr. David R. Hawkins. And yeah, I actually will, I'm going to do a future episode on

[00:10:17] this. So I'll dive in deeper on that. So that in a nutshell is muscle testing.

[00:10:22] So let's pivot over to how do you regulate your nervous system? Another really great question.

[00:10:28] I'm glad y'all are asking all of these great questions or that I'm asking all the great

[00:10:32] questions for us and just explaining them, whatever it is. There's so many, so many different

[00:10:37] ways to regulate your nervous system. So I'm going to share what works for me in these

[00:10:43] moments knowing that there's honestly a lot of different options out there. So when we're

[00:10:48] in a default pattern of push through, we're likely in a sympathetic state, which means the

[00:10:54] fight or flight. When we're activated in a stress response, that's the one that's going to lead

[00:10:57] to the workaholism, the burnout and kind of like that, oh, I gotta go. And you get into

[00:11:02] this kind of frenzied, like just doing all of the things, but not necessarily most of the

[00:11:07] right things. And then when we're in a default pattern of pushing pause, we can actually

[00:11:13] end up in a sympathetic state, which is our rest and digest. And it could be like a freeze

[00:11:19] or a fawn. And that can lead to the overwhelm, the depression, the procrastination,

[00:11:23] perfectionism, right? Where we just get stuck and kind of locked into place. So making

[00:11:28] decisions from either of those nervous system states is dangerous straight up in the sense

[00:11:33] of we're not thinking clearly, we're acting from unconscious patterns. And so we want to

[00:11:39] start by getting back to a more regulated state first and foremost. The fastest,

[00:11:43] most effective way for you to do that honestly is using your breath. I know people are like

[00:11:49] the breath again. And it's like, it's right there. It's right here. It's free.

[00:11:54] And you can use it in the face of anything. You could have someone going off on you and

[00:11:59] you could be doing some breathing. I've got an exercise that I use multiple times a day for

[00:12:03] myself. It's a foundational practice that I teach all of my clients. I start all of my

[00:12:08] calls, workshops and events with it. And it's a complete energetic state shifter that I call

[00:12:13] the breathe and ground technique. Okay? How it works is we start by shaking some shit off.

[00:12:19] Shaking is something that we do. We see animals do all the time. In the wild they do it to

[00:12:23] really stress hormones, right? Like the gazelle that gets away from being chased by the lions.

[00:12:27] They go in the bush and they shake that shit off, right? All of those stress hormones

[00:12:32] that just flooded their systems and helped them engage in a fight or flight and then get

[00:12:36] out of that situation, we're storing that as humans. We just tend to like take all that

[00:12:41] stress on and then forget that we've got the ability to actually shake it out of our system.

[00:12:46] So we start by shaking some stuff off. Then we use a diaphragmatic breath, which is known

[00:12:49] as belly breathing. And I pair this with a physiological sigh, which is sipping in a little

[00:12:55] bit extra air and audibly releasing. Okay? After that we run through four rounds of what's

[00:13:02] known as samavrithi, which is commonly known now as box breathing. Little side tangent here,

[00:13:08] y'all. I am so excited at the popularity of box breathing coming online in society.

[00:13:13] And I want to acknowledge that it has yogic roots as one of the most important and impactful

[00:13:17] practices of pranayama, which is the breath regulation side of yoga. So just to be clear,

[00:13:23] Wim Hof, Andrew Huberman did not make up these breathing practices and they have been

[00:13:28] around for thousands of years. We're very grateful though to those fellows for helping

[00:13:32] us get the word out on their effectiveness. So if you stack those breathing exercises together,

[00:13:37] it has an undeniable experience in your body that completely shifts your state.

[00:13:43] And it shows in the research. It shows that it regulates the nervous system. It reduces blood

[00:13:48] pressure, reduces heart rate, and reduces relaxation, improves cognitive function. Honestly,

[00:13:53] the list goes on and on. I'm not going to keep doing that because I'm really doing my best not

[00:13:58] to overwhelm you with info right now. And I know that when I understand things, I'm more likely

[00:14:04] to do them. So I'm going to drop you into that here in a few minutes so you can feel

[00:14:08] it for yourself. What I want you to know is that in life, in business, we are always

[00:14:15] going to be presented with this what seems like two paths, right? Do I pause? Do I push

[00:14:21] through? Push pause, push through. Push pause, push through. It's like this never-ending teeter

[00:14:27] totter. And before you give in to an unconscious pattern, I want you to take the opportunity to

[00:14:33] stop and regulate yourself and make your decision from there. And doing this with

[00:14:38] the breath is one of the best ways to do it. I've also got a take 10 sound journey is what

[00:14:42] I call them. So I use this breathing ground technique at the beginning. And then from there,

[00:14:47] I use Crystal Singing Bowls and help you go through a body scan so you can get connected

[00:14:51] to your body. So if you love this experience that we're just about to do together and want

[00:14:56] that audio, so you can just have that and have it in your back pocket to help you get

[00:15:01] to a more regulated state, I will have that link in the show notes. Please, please, please

[00:15:05] grab it. And let me know what you think. I am so grateful for you tuning into this. I'm going

[00:15:10] to kind of wrap things up beforehand because once you're done with this breathing exercise,

[00:15:14] you kind of are floating on cloud nine and probably won't remember much of what I say

[00:15:18] anyways. So in advance, thank you for being here. Thank you for letting me share my insights

[00:15:24] and experience and translate these in a way that I hope is helpful and beneficial to you.

[00:15:30] Super grateful for y'all. So let's go ahead. I'm going to invite you to drop in with me

[00:15:35] and do some breathing and grounding. If you're driving, maybe consider pulling over.

[00:15:39] If you're somewhere in public, that's okay. Nobody really gives a shit and they're

[00:15:43] probably going to be like, oh, that looks really nice. Maybe I want to do that too.

[00:15:46] Maybe invite someone to do it with you. Put me on speakerphone. But the way we start this off

[00:15:50] is standing up and shaking some shit off. So stand up, start shaking, start flopping your

[00:15:57] wrists around, flopping your arms. My favorite is like the floppy thighs. And then I start

[00:16:02] twerking a little bit and like really just like shake almost like a tremor and just get

[00:16:07] some stress off of you, right? Get the chest involved and then start working into your spine

[00:16:13] and doing some spinal twists. This is going to stimulate your vagus nerve, which is

[00:16:18] what is actually breaking and helping you regulate your system. So get some of those

[00:16:22] spinal twists in and then start to make your way towards stillness. If you'd like to find

[00:16:27] a comfortable seat or you can stand firmly planted into the ground if you'd like,

[00:16:33] you're going to bring your right hand to your belly, your left hand to your heart.

[00:16:37] And if it feels safe for you to close your eyes, go ahead and do so shutting down some

[00:16:40] external stimulus and start to find yourself coming towards the bottom of your breath with

[00:16:46] an exhale, releasing all the air from your lungs. We'll start to inhale through the nose

[00:16:52] and fill your belly first. This is the diaphragmatic breath. Fill it all the way up.

[00:16:57] And then as you sip into your lungs, sip in just a little bit more air to where you

[00:17:03] can't sip anymore. Hold it and then exhale, audibly sigh and release it.

[00:17:11] Beautiful. Let's run that back. So inhale into the belly, filling it all the way up.

[00:17:16] Then start to pull the air up into your lungs, sipping in a little bit more air at the top

[00:17:20] till you're extra full. Hold it, drop those shoulders away from your ears. Exhale,

[00:17:26] sigh, audibly let it go. Wonderful. One more just like that. Biggest breath so far today.

[00:17:33] Inhale into the belly, suck in a little bit more air up into your lungs.

[00:17:41] And then exhale a little bit louder to release.

[00:17:45] Now we'll move into Samavrithi. So start to inhale through the nose to the count of four,

[00:17:49] three, two, one. Pause at the top for four, three, two, one. Exhale through the nose for

[00:17:57] four, three, two, one. Pause empty at the bottom for four, three, two, one. Let's repeat that.

[00:18:05] Inhale for three, two, one. Hold for three, two, one. Exhale for three, two, one.

[00:18:16] Hold empty for four, three, two, one. Take two more rounds at your own count and your own

[00:18:23] pace. And at the end of that second round, just pause and notice what's happening in your mind,

[00:18:47] what's happening in your body, and how your energy is shifted. At this point,

[00:18:56] I usually ask myself or my clients to listen for a word of intention. Just let that word

[00:19:02] come to you. Don't think about it. Just allow it to pop into your sphere of consciousness

[00:19:07] and trust that that word is what you need in this moment. Once you've got that,

[00:19:15] you can start to blink your eyes back open and notice how you feel.

[00:19:26] I know for me it's always a complete reset and it's from this state that I am more present,

[00:19:34] I am more patient, I am more regulated, and I'm always going to be able to make a better

[00:19:40] decision. Thank you for being here. If this episode resonates with you, please review it,

[00:19:47] share it with a friend, all that good stuff. I look forward to connecting with you soon.

[00:19:52] Bye. Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of the Make One Day Happen podcast.

[00:20:00] I get it. Bandwidth can feel scarce, distractions can be abundant, so the fact

[00:20:04] that you made it this far in the episode truly means the world to me and I honor

[00:20:07] you for making some space for yourself. If this episode resonated with you in some way,

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[00:20:25] to and received all of the comments, feedback, and stories of what you're taking away in order

[00:20:29] to create a true shift in your energy mindset and leadership. Until next time, my friend.

[00:20:48] This is Sarah Hubbard, host of You and Me Kid, a podcast about starting and raising a

[00:20:53] family on your own. We just launched season two and I'm speaking with single moms,

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[00:21:02] day-to-day experience of solo parenting looks and feels like. Plus this season,

[00:21:06] I've partnered with California Cryobank, the number one's firm bake in the U.S.

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