Dr. Adrienne Partridge - Finding Your Natural Speed

[00:00:01] Welcome to Highest and Best, a podcast for women in real estate, where we explore the freedoms and complexities of this high-intensity career. From candid conversations with top agents to inspiring interviews with coaches, researchers, athletes, and female executives, we share valuable tools to help you stay calm, confident, and continue to show up as your highest and best self. Thanks so much for listening.

[00:00:24] Welcome to Highest and Best. I am so excited about today's conversation. I have Dr. Adrienne Partridge on the podcast today. She is a friend. She's also an organizational psychologist, somatic career and leadership coach, and the creator of the Your Innate Edge Method, a nervous system-based approach to career and leadership development designed for high-achieving leaders who struggle with imposter syndrome, people-pleasing, perfectionism.

[00:00:55] None of us have thought or experienced any of that stuff. She helps leaders from emerging talents to global executives reconnect with their confidence and build fulfilling, successful careers that reflect who they truly are. And I have to say also because I adore you that your work has been featured all over the Dang Place Girl, Inc. Magazine, New York Post, Thrive Global, U.S. News & World Report. And you also just presented at the Stockholm School of Economics. Incredible.

[00:01:25] Welcome to the podcast, Adrienne. Thank you, Sarah. I should take you everywhere with me to do my job. It's my job. It's our job to hype you up. I want to get a little bit into your background, but I have to start with something that I feel is this core part of my introduction to you, which was we met in Boulder. Yes. Right? I want to say right before COVID or a couple years before COVID. Like, yeah, it was a few years before COVID. Yeah.

[00:01:54] A few years before COVID. And then you, man, were you ahead of the trend? Because you really crafted this new life yourself by moving to San Miguel de Allende. You were the first one that I knew that took your career abroad and really did that successfully. And, of course, now, you know, look at what everyone's doing. But you started there and now you've created this incredible life in Paris. So can we start with Paris? Sure.

[00:02:20] Let's talk about – because here's what I think we're going to talk about finding your natural rhythm and speed today. And I would guess something about that move, those choices for you is about leaning into your natural speed and rhythm as well. So what has moving internationally done for you in terms of kind of that speed and the lifestyle you were looking for personally and professionally? Yeah. I think, you know, I tend towards more of like a medium slow pace.

[00:02:49] And my blueprint, which we'll talk about today, and my rhythm needs like home and stability. Like I love, you know, creating a home and feeling rooted and having community. But what I love about living abroad is that every day feels like an adventure. And I never know like what's going to get lost in translation, what I'm going to misunderstand or who's going to misunderstand me because I'm pronouncing something wrong in French.

[00:03:17] And so it's literally like I wake up every day and it's like I have my rhythms and I have my pace and I have, you know, my work and my life. But there's always some sense of like excitement. Yeah. But like very grounded excitement, not like I need a hit to my nervous system every day of adrenaline. It's not like that. It's just maybe a sense of wonder of like, like, wow. And sometimes I'm still like, how in the world did I end up here?

[00:03:43] I never would have imagined that I would be making life in France, you know. You did it. I've been here for years. You really did. Yeah. You did it ahead of everybody else, too. I'm so impressed. I've been so impressed with you from the beginning. Well, let's talk about our topic for the day, which is finding your natural rhythm and speed. Yeah. Why does this matter? Why does like finding your rhythm or acknowledging or thinking even about how quickly you're moving through your life and the world matter for leaders?

[00:04:14] Yeah. You know, so when we first I think it's important to look at that from a nervous system perspective. So we all have nervous systems, obviously. And there's a term coined by neuropsychiatrist named Daniel Siegel. And he calls this nervous system state of regulation when we're in our optimal state of arousal. He calls it the window of tolerance. And what that means is your nervous system is nicely regulated.

[00:04:42] There might be challenges that come up, but there's ease and flow at which you move through those challenges. And all of us, when we're operating in the window of tolerance in nervous system regulation, we all have a natural pace that we move through. So most of us are conditioned to do everything as fast as we can, get as much done.

[00:05:04] And that may not actually be your natural pace and rhythm that leads to being able to operate in that window of tolerance. You might tend towards a slower or more medium pace, but your nervous system is operating at a fast pace, which means it's not in the window of tolerance if that's counter and misaligned with your natural pace.

[00:05:30] Yeah, this is funny. When I first saw a post about this from you, my first instinct was, oh my gosh, I don't think I've ever really thought about my own speed. I've certainly noticed in other people, right? We've all got that friend who's like moving, moving, moving, thrives in chaos. Yeah.

[00:05:47] But when we talk about everyone having a natural speed and that being kind of fast, medium or slow, can you give a sense of what those buckets look like and where, you know, the audience for this podcast, which is high performing women, where do high performing women generally fall in those three tiers? Actually, not in the fast pace naturally.

[00:06:08] So I was leading a program a couple of months ago and I actually polled a group of, I think it was like about 30 women to reflect on what they felt like their natural pace was. And these were all high performing women. And only, let's see, I have my notes here.

[00:06:29] 45% said they were medium, 35% said they were slow and only 15% said that they were naturally fast. And the thing is, because you're smart and you're high performing, you can operate at a fast pace, even if it's not your natural pace. But it's at the detriment of, you know, having more stress, having more anxiety and actually not having as much flow.

[00:06:56] So, and it sounds counter, but if you're operating at a medium pace, let's just say. So a medium pace might look like, like there's some spaciousness. You're maybe like you tend to do things one at a time, right? And you're moving through that at, I mean, we can all kind of imagine a medium pace, right?

[00:07:18] And, and, you know, when there's something stressful that happens, you might go back, like you might go into the fast pace, you might go into hyper arousal, but you'll come back to your medium pace. Got it. And then when we think about an example of what a fast paced person might be in a slow person might be like, what are some of the bullets that go along with those?

[00:07:43] Yeah. So a fast pace and somebody who's naturally fast paced, they're going to be, like you said, in the beginning, we all have friends that just move through life really quickly. And, you know, like, because I do this work, I can really tell like when that's aligned and that's their natural pace because they're not stressed out. Like they're regulated, they're moving through at a fast, quick pace. They're kind of like the fast pace are those people that are constantly in motion.

[00:08:12] But not in a way that's frantic. They're just always moving and they're moving to the next thing. And, you know, the medium pace is like they're sitting in between or the slower pace, right? They're taking some time, not that the fast pace don't like stop and sit. That's not what I mean. But like they're taking some space in between one activity to the next. And so slow and medium can look similar. And also, too, I know I'm a more medium pace.

[00:08:41] But if on the tasks I don't particularly enjoy, I will do them as quickly as possible because it's just a preference to do it that way because I want to get it done. Whereas the things that require more of my cognitive thought, I want to do at my natural pace because I'm going to do them better. And I'm going to feel less stressed and I'm going to feel more creatively alive. And just the juices are going to flow and I'm going to get into a flow.

[00:09:07] And actually, from that program I facilitated, there was one woman who said, I actually got more done today by slowing down. Then I got more done. So if you're operating at your natural pace, you actually are going to be more productive, even if that's slow. Like you're just going to be more productive. Okay, let's talk about how someone would identify their natural pace.

[00:09:35] Because when I think about this, my brain goes like, okay, well, at what speed do I just normally move, right? But that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about the place that your nervous system wants to be. So how does someone start to identify what your natural speed is versus maybe just how you've operated forever? So what if I ask you a few questions? Go for it. Yeah. Okay.

[00:10:01] So Sarah, I'm curious, like if you have a day, I mean, I know you're a busy working mom, but if you have a day where like, there's nothing that like maybe has to get done or you're on vacation, maybe you like attuned to kind of the last time you had a day of spaciousness where you didn't have to be somewhere at a certain time. You could flow and let the day unfold as you liked it or as you wished. Can you think of something? What would I do? Yeah.

[00:10:31] Like, would you be going, would you still be moving quickly? Because I kind of sense that you do move because I know you, you move pretty fast through life and that, that might be your natural pace. But I'm curious when like, when you have the opportunity to do things at the pace you really want to do them, do you still go fast or do you go a little bit slower? You know, I'm laughing, especially as a working mom, because I, I was just talking with some moms the other day about,

[00:10:58] we're all going to go see the Devil Wears Prada when it comes out next week. And we, and I was like, oh my God, the thought of just sitting and watching a movie sounds so amazing to me. And what's interesting is the, as a super busy mom and like someone who I think is always like kind of short on sleep, the thought of just having a whole day to do nothing sounds great. But in reality, I would be bored. And I don't, I have no interest in like sitting around all day, just like binging a show or something. Yeah, but that's not what it means.

[00:11:27] It means like when we think about rhythm and pace, it's not like you don't do anything. It's like you do things, but what is your natural pace at which you're going to do them? If you have five things you need to do on Saturday, are you going to do them fast? Or are you going to do them a little bit medium pace? Because, you know, it's not like you have to meet a client, right? At a property or something at a certain time. Got it. I think, you know, I'm laughing again. This is such a funny question.

[00:11:57] I like to put all the things that I need to do in the day in the most efficient order possible. So like, am I going to go downtown in Boulder? Oh, I can do four things right then. I'll drop my kid off at 8.15, even on a day where I don't have much to do. And I'm like, oh, I can hit Trader Joe's, do the laundry, something like all before 9 a.m. And I love that. Yeah. So maybe I do like try to do things fast, even when I don't need to. Well, and does it stress you out to go slower?

[00:12:26] Like, do you feel like kind of if you were to imagine slowing these activities down, like, does that cause like activation of like, oh, no, that feels like not fun to have to go slower? A little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A little bit.

[00:12:56] But it sounds like, or let me ask you, I won't, I won't assume. Do you feel like at your fast pace, you have a lot going on, a lot happens every week. Do you feel like you are constantly on edge or stressed? No. Okay, great. See, that's good information. Then. Yeah. I get more done the more I have to do. Great. Yeah. You do those things at a fast pace.

[00:13:26] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it doesn't stress you out. Yeah. You're not like, you're not burnt out because you're going at a fast pace constantly. So that's, let's get into that next. Because I think when you said earlier, I watch people at a fast pace and you can tell if they're in their natural rhythm based on like, are they stressed? Or how does their nervous system feel in that speed? Yeah. So how would someone know or what are you looking at in your clients to be like, oh, you're out of alignment?

[00:13:51] What are some out of alignment like red flags beyond just kind of what we threw out there? Yeah. Well, if they're like not sleeping well, right? Like if you're feeling totally depleted, if on the weekend, instead of doing things you really enjoy or used to enjoy, you're like having to just sleep, binge out on Netflix.

[00:14:15] Like if you're in a hypo arousal state, because that's the state of like collapse and having to recover by numbing behavior. And that's totally normal. We're all human. We do it from time to time. But that's what happens when we're in a prolonged state of hyper arousal, when we're out of the window of tolerance. Then our body naturally will just go straight to hypo as a way to recover.

[00:14:41] And so that would be like an indication of, okay, let's look at your rhythm and pace because it probably like part of that is going to be because you're operating at a pace that's opposite. And mostly I see it's people that are having to operate at a really fast pace, but they really tend towards medium or slow.

[00:15:01] But it's also going to be frustrating and depleting if you're somebody that has a naturally fast pace, but like things are going slow at work and you're going to work with people at a much slower pace. That's also going to feel really stressful. It goes both ways. Okay. And then in terms of the slow pace. Yeah. I am saying this as someone who we just loosely identified as a fast pace. So this is why I don't understand what that would feel like.

[00:15:29] If you are a person who naturally needs to be in a slower pace, but is in a high paced job or life or career, like some of the women listening, how do you pair those two? Like what might that look like and how do you get what you need to do done, but slower? Yeah. No, that's such a good question. And as I said, like when we're operating in our natural pace, we are going to get more done.

[00:15:55] However, like sometimes you're going to have to go at a fast pace. You only have a certain amount of time to do something. Right. Right. And so it's not like, oh, we must totally realign your career so that you can always go to fast, slow pace. Like that's just not possible. Right. But I always suggest starting with really simple things.

[00:16:16] So if you're more of a medium or slow or really you're actually slow, start doing things like that are low stakes that you can do slowly. Like for whatever reason, we all rush to go to the bathroom. Right. It's like better do that as fast as we can. But like maybe just start going to the bathroom slowly. Right. Yeah. Like or eating slowly. Or if you're moving from one thing to the next, walking slowly.

[00:16:44] There's some little micro ways you can shift that so that you can be in your natural pace and pieces of your day. Got it. Or when you're getting the kids ready. Yeah. Like you're getting your kids ready to go to school. Like can you slow that down actually? Yeah. That's a big one for me. Yeah. If you slow it down. We don't actually need to rush. And especially too if you have kids that are opposite your natural pace.

[00:17:13] So I don't know Ellie. Oh. Like if she's more of a medium or slow, right? It's going to stress her out. Not that you mean to. It's going to stress her out to have to always go at a fast pace. And, you know, we attune to other people's nervous systems too. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It's just kind of interesting to then start to identify other people's natural pace or little humans' natural pace. Yeah. Out in the wild too. So. Well, that's a great transition.

[00:17:43] Say you are partnered with or professionally partnered with. Yes. Yes. Yes. Are all working at a different pace, which I'm sure happens a ton of the time. Totally. Figuring out your own speed sounds like kind of that first step. But then what do you do when you have to work with that person all the time? What are some ways you can kind of bridge that gap? Yeah. That's such a good question. Well, I think, you know, like, I think we all, a lot of us absorb this false sense of urgency.

[00:18:14] So pace doesn't matter. But, like, if someone else thinks something's urgent and then you're perceiving it as urgent, but it's really not. You know, that's, I think, a situation where you can actually go at your natural pace and not, like, go into fast right away. So a little bit of discernment, too, of, like, do I have to, like, respond right away? Do I have to do this thing really quickly? Is that really urgent? So discernment.

[00:18:42] And then, you know, I think it's, like, collaboration with, like, if you're working with a, closely with a, I don't know, maybe, I don't know if you have a partner, real estate partner, but I know a lot of people do. So, like, if you're working and you're, I don't know, your real estate partner is fast and you're medium, it's just having a conversation about it and being, like, I know that you operate at a fast pace.

[00:19:03] I'm a little bit slower, like, and figuring out ways to work with each other, you know, so that you're not having sacrifice your pace and adhere to theirs and vice versa. Like, you can kind of figure out what time, when it requires the fast, when you can go solitary work, right? You can typically go, because, as I said, you're going to get as much done, right? So, when you're doing solitary work, go at your natural pace. Like, you're writing an offer, right? Go at your natural pace. Yeah.

[00:19:33] I love that. I love that you brought up kind of false urgency because it is a huge part of the real estate industry. Oh, well, I mean, I know there is actual urgency, too. Yes, there's actual urgency, but there's so much false urgency. And it's something I talk to my clients about a lot. And I always say, I'm not going to create this out of nowhere. I will be clear with you if there is a time. Like, we do need to move quickly. Something's competitive. But other than that, we're not going to create false urgency. You have time to consider. Yes.

[00:20:03] But I'm thinking, as you're giving these examples of realtors I've worked with before who are just operating even faster than myself, and I'm sensing from my end, there's no reason for this urgency, right? Right. Or maybe there's who knows what's behind that urgency, like their desperation to sell or, you know, pressures they're getting from their clients. But we don't always have partners in real estate, but we do have someone on the other side of every transaction.

[00:20:29] And that energy mismatch, I think, is something I'm going to be thinking about now around just kind of we have dates and deadlines in a real estate contract that hold us all to the same timeline. But with that said, it is very obvious if on two different sides of a transaction we're working at different speeds. Yeah. And I mean, sometimes it's just the way it is, too, right? Some people are fast. Some people are like right under the bell, 5 p.m. every day of the deadline. Yeah. And it is hard.

[00:20:58] It's frustrating to have that misalignment. Yeah. And I mean, you know, if there's people operating faster than you, they might be in regulation. But I would say that I would imagine that a lot of them are not. Yeah. They're actually like operating in a place of like from a fast pace of and they're stressed by it. Right. So if you're in alignment, I'm thinking about like a marathon analogy kind of like if you're out of alignment, you're like hustle, hustle, hustle, crash.

[00:21:26] Like you use that example earlier of like you're just fully shutting down on the weekends in your free time just going 90 to nothing. But if you're in alignment, you could probably keep this pace up. Oh, yeah. Indefinitely. That's the idea is like, oh, I'm good. I'm feeling energetic. I'm not feeling with exceptions. Yeah. If you're honoring in alignment with your natural pace, when something comes up where you do have to go into the fast zone, there's this notion, too, that your window of tolerance, you can widen it.

[00:21:55] So you can your resilience, your capacity for resilience can widen. And so if you operate more consistently at your natural pace, then that window of tolerance is going to widen. So that when something comes up that you do have to do at a fast pace, you're still going to be regulated. You're not going to be stressed out by it. You're not going to go into hyper arousal. So, yeah, that's one of the big benefits. I think my window of tolerance pre-parent life. Yes.

[00:22:25] Yeah. I mean, I'm thinking about it right now and I'm like, oh, my God, the ups, downs, lefts, rights that don't stress me out now that did a year ago. Like, yeah, that feels good. It feels like I'm widening. It feels like those things. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I could keep up this forever. But, man, some of those early days, it's like, oh, yeah, I wasn't ready for this. So that's interesting. I'm going to think about that. I want to ask you one more question about high performing women.

[00:22:48] So if you are listening to this, you are moving at a fast pace, whether or not that's your natural rhythm or not. When you have clients like this, I'm sure you have a billion, beyond just slowing down physically, mentally, like walking slower in the grocery store, that sort of thing, what other things are we maybe removing from your life or shifting in your life to downshift if fast is not your natural speed and you are crashing? What other, like, areas should we look at?

[00:23:18] Yeah. What other changes could someone make who is feeling that hustle, hustle, hustle, fast crash beyond just physically slowing down? Right, right. And maybe this is a part of that bigger blueprint that I know we want to talk about as well. But what could someone kind of look at in terms of their landscape if they are in a fast pace and it is not serving them? What else could they shift? Yeah.

[00:23:41] One thing I always recommend for all my clients and for if you're really trying to get back into that window of tolerance and into more consistent regulation is what I call a non-striving activity. So, yeah. So this is fun. So it's something that you're doing just for the pure enjoyment of the process and it's not attached to an outcome. So examples of what it would not be is training for a marathon, right?

[00:24:11] There's an outcome or a goal and maybe it's linked to also your physical fitness. So you can do that. Keep doing that if that's a passion. But you also need something that you do just for the fun and pleasure of it. So an example I give is myself. I have been doing improv theater for four years.

[00:24:33] And I just started doing it out of curiosity and, well, because I was randomly cast in a Burger King commercial in Mexico. And it was improv style. In Mexico. Yeah, when I was living there. Anyways, it was improv style. And then when I moved to Paris, I was like, gosh, you know, like that was actually really fun. I should look into classes. So I Googled improv schools in English because I didn't speak enough French yet.

[00:24:58] And anyways, I didn't have any like I didn't want to become like some sort of improv star or like become better at public speaking. That wasn't why it was just for fun. Just to enjoy. And yeah, because when we do things just for pleasure and joy, that is such a natural nervous system regulator. Right. And typically we'll do that thing at our natural pace as well. So maybe you're like I've always been wanting to learn to knit or it can really be anything.

[00:25:28] Or I had a client who used to love to dance. And she was like, oh, I'm going to like start looking into dance classes. Right. Right. So when we do things like that, that also that regulates our nervous system, helps us get into our window of tolerance, widen the window of tolerance and can give us information to about what our natural pace is as well. I have to ask you, because as I'm sorting through my own life of my non-striving activities, there are not very many.

[00:25:57] How often do you run into women or work with women where it's like they don't have that? I don't know. It feels like a normal thing to be like, oh, am I doing anything out of pure joy? And maybe no. Like what a great shift. People aren't. But it's interesting. I have to bring in life in France or in Paris.

[00:26:14] What I notice about like French people or Parisians is that they like so many Parisians that I know have like my friends, my French friends have outside interests that they're doing just for fun. I have a friend that does theater classes, a friend who's taking a drawing course. I think very inspiring because they do carve out the time to do something just for the joy and pleasure.

[00:26:41] And I find that more people do that here than in the U.S. for sure. It's more celebrated, right? Not an American. Yeah. At all. It feels, gosh, that alone. I feel like we could have a whole podcast just on that alone and the need for that because it takes such an intentional, especially as I think about as a working mom. I mean, I have so much joy in my life and I'm doing all that, but I'm like, what do I don't know if I have one of those, you know? And like what a fun thing to start thinking about. Yeah. Like what?

[00:27:10] And a lot of times asking people what they love to do as children. Yeah. You know, that can give good information on something that might be interesting for you to get back to or a curiosity you have, you know, about something. Yeah. But it's such an essential piece of, we'll get into blueprint, but into like tapping into your blueprint and your natural essence and like nurturing your nervous system. Yeah.

[00:27:40] Oh, I'm going to think about that after this. I love that question. I need a non-striving activity. Okay. Let's talk. I know. So let's talk about this blueprint because what is the bigger picture? Speed and rhythm is just one part of it. So give me a sense of kind of what this bigger blueprint is that you talk to people about and kind of what it entails. Yeah. So our natural blueprint refers to who we are and our most natural essence.

[00:28:06] So I like to give this as an example that one of my teachers, Rachel Maddox, taught me about blueprint and that we're all like just like a house has a blueprint and it can get destroyed in the storm, but we can always go back to the blueprint and rebuild it. That's the same for us as humans. So we come into this world with a blueprint of who we naturally are and then life happens, right?

[00:28:29] We have everything from big traumas, little traumas, disappointments, conditioning, cultural conditioning that can take us away from our natural blueprint and the expression of it. And that's called an imprint. Like there's imprints in our nervous system. So let's say you were like a really naturally expressive child, right? But that got, oh, oh, don't be too much. Like, oh, you're too loud. Right. And maybe you're a little girl.

[00:28:56] So you get taught it's not okay to express myself, even though that was something natural. Maybe you love to sing and dance in front of people or, and that got squashed. And so that's just to give an example of what the blueprint and the imprint can be. And then when we feel like we can be ourselves, there's going to be a set of conditions. So rhythm and pace is one of them. That's going to make us feel like ourselves, like we're in flow, like we can be who we are.

[00:29:26] Also environment, right? There could be objectively beautiful places in the world where people are just like, it does not work with their blueprint. Right. And, and then people like the people around you, right? That bring out your blueprint qualities. So maybe people, you know, people you work with, the types of friends you gravitate towards that you feel like you can be you. So it's really the conditions.

[00:29:51] The blueprint is the conditions that you need to feel like yourself and that you can do your best work with the greatest amount of ease and the least amount of stress too. And we all have, we have this natural blueprint of health that we're born with, but we also have a natural blueprint in romance, romantic relationships or in friendships in our career and as leaders. So we have all these little sub blueprints as well.

[00:30:18] It's, I have a four-year-old, so I feel like all the examples in my life go back to some things I've been watching with my child, but we just watched this amazing movie called Inside Out. Are you familiar with this movie? No, I'm not. So Pixar, I believe. Or Disney came up with this movie and it is, it's animated, but it's about, the movie is about emotion. So the emotions are the characters and there's a young girl in it. And basically you watch the emotions take control of like the control panel.

[00:30:46] So the joy will come in and punch a bunch of buttons and then fear will come in. And what's really interesting is the movie starts with, it sounds like a very rudimentary sense of this blueprint. Like she's got kind of her core memories and then there are these like islands that come off of her. One is like goofiness. One is connection to family. One is like love of sports. Yes. And they're big islands and the grounding of who she is as a human. And all of them have these core memories that strengthen it. And those islands are all looking big and vibrant and colorful.

[00:31:16] And then as more emotions come in, as she gets into her teenage years, exactly what you're saying happens, right? She meets a friend that doesn't think being goofy is cool, right? Who that island dims. Oh my gosh, this is such a great example. Actually, it was really interesting to watch it with a four-year-old because my daughter really like had a sense of what it was. We talked a lot about emotions, but I'm seeing that as like, okay, what are these big buckets of who I am?

[00:31:43] That is, regardless of what happens, for the most part, I'm going to try to keep those strong. And then there's flexibility around that. So I love it. And rhythm and speed is just one of those things. Yeah, rhythm and speed is one of those conditions that's going to bring your blueprint forward and alive and make, and also gifts. Like when part of our blueprint is our greatest gifts, right? If we're misaligned speed-wise, rhythm and pace, our gifts aren't going to be able to come forward as easily.

[00:32:12] Like they're going to get stifled. So that's also why rhythm and pace is so important because we all have our unique gifts that are, and I can say this because I've worked with hundreds of women now, and I've never seen the same combination or expression of gifts in the same ways, right? And we need the unique gifts to come out and make an impact, but they're going to be stifled if we're going against our rhythm and our pace. Or they just are.

[00:32:40] It's not going to be possible for them to be as fully expressed as they could be. I can imagine as well if you are moving at a pace that is misaligned, you might not even have the headspace to think about that bigger blueprint, to think about maybe why am I tired? Oh, I'm working in the wrong environment, or I'm hanging out with the wrong people, or I'm not doing something that creates joy for me.

[00:33:06] You don't even have the space to zoom out and look at what else is misaligned. Absolutely. Absolutely. And what I find too is when there is that misalignment in speed and pace is people don't even, like they're so disconnected to what their gifts are. Like they know what they're good at or what people have told them they're good at or what they can do well. But in my work, I differentiate between strengths and gifts.

[00:33:34] I say that strengths are the things because you're smart and you have education, and training, and you've done these things over and over again. You can do a lot of things well, but strengths are the things you do well, but that deplete your energy. Whereas gifts are the things that you naturally do well. And when you're doing them, you get kind of lost in it. You get in that flow and you feel like you get back just as much energy as you gave to the task activity project.

[00:34:04] But, yeah, when you're operating against your pace and rhythm, it's like there's no connection, you know, or maybe not no connection, but not a strong connection. I remember so clearly I did, I think, a series of sessions with you years ago alongside a couple of women, a couple of friends of mine, and we talked about that. And I think especially those of us who have been in our careers for so long, you've gotten good at stuff.

[00:34:31] Like there's just – there are things that are a required part of your industry that you need to get good at. But somewhere along the line, it blurs a little bit, right? Like what am I good at or what have I been told and programmed to think I'm really good at because of the container of my career path? And what is like inherently a gift of mine? And I remember that conversation that we had being really, I think, an aha moment of just like, oh, wait, those are different.

[00:34:59] And just because we've all been doing this now for 20-plus years, it's important to separate the two out. Someone doesn't know how to separate them. I know we're going a little bit more into kind of one of your other huge areas of expertise, but how does someone even start to figure out what their gifts are? Like what are some starting questions to get away from skills to gifts? Yeah, that's such a good question.

[00:35:25] One thing you can do is start with literally just making a list of what is currently giving you energy, what is currently not giving you energy. And if there's not very many things or nothing at all in like giving you energy, you can think back to times in your life of experiences or situations where you did get energy. So just starting with the energetic part of it of what's depleting your energy, what's giving you energy.

[00:35:52] Because the gifts are not going to be in what's depleting your energy. Those will be strengths or just the stuff we have to do, right? In life, there's always the stuff we just have to do. But usually in the what gives me energy is the gifts, right? Just paying attention. Who are the people that I leave and I feel like my battery is zapped? Or who are the people that I leave and I feel like I've got more than I did when I came in? Or the activities throughout the day, the tasks, just paying more attention? Yes, exactly. Exactly. Okay.

[00:36:22] I have to ask, I love asking the women that I interview on the podcast, especially those that have these really amazing areas of expertise like you. You're an expert in this, right? You have been studying this forever. You have a PhD. What do you still face as someone who knows this inside and out? What are the things that you still tell yourself and the learnings that you have to be like, oh yeah, I'm an expert and I'm still a human.

[00:36:49] So what are the challenges that you still face with this in your day-to-day? Yeah. First of all, I have expertise in women's leadership development, but I always say I'm not an expert. You're an expert on yourself. I just help you uncover that expertise. So with Blueprint, if I think about Blueprint, I think I'm a recovering people pleaser, appeaser.

[00:37:13] And so that's, I rarely do it anymore, but I would say that can still come up and maybe trigger me to want to go into a faster pace or like to, you know, that urgency or something in order to please someone, whether it's a client or a friend. So yes, I've been doing this work for a long time, but yeah, appeasing can still come up for me.

[00:37:39] I think too, Blueprint wise, like I have something that I call being a natural expressionista and not everybody is this, but there's certain women who really thrive in the spotlight and with visibility, but we've been told to dim that or not take up too much space. Oh, she really likes attention. I would say that's been an edge for me that I am a natural expressionista and,

[00:38:07] and it's been like, it still is work to lean into that. I don't need to be center of attention if I go to a party or anything like that. That's not what it is, but I actually thrive in the spotlight. When like the, I was telling you about the Stockholm School of Economics seminar, like I loved the spotlight because I got to teach people something that I think is so important that they've never heard about nervous system and leadership, or most of them had never heard about.

[00:38:35] And, and so that's still an edge for me, right? To be like, to own that, that like, I, my Blueprint comes alive in the spotlight when I'm sharing something that I am so, like, I believe so strongly about, but I still struggle. Oh, what are people going to think? Or it's still a lifelong practice for me and my Blueprint with the visibility and the natural expressionista I have inside of me and the old conditioning that might come up.

[00:39:06] So. I have loved seeing you. I follow you on Instagram, but I think you've been so honest and transparent. And just, I think, really open in your social media about this experience of moving to Paris and all the things that you've gone through just with that sense of self. You know, I, I'm thinking of photos that you've had, you know, outfits that you comment on and the bright red lipstick and the croissants with your dog.

[00:39:34] And like, there are moments where I feel like you're honest in that photo, in that moment about what you're trying to do, what you're leaning into, what is feeling right or what. I remember there was like a series of dating posts where you were just like. Oh, when I first moved here. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. What am I doing? What feels right? What feels wrong? Like, and I just love how honest and open you have been about all of that because it moving to a different country, you, gosh, you did it so intentionally. You so intentionally built this life for yourself there that leans into the blueprint you just

[00:40:03] talked about. But I love that you're still honest about the challenges. It's, it's really fun to watch. Yeah. I mean, it's like I teach the stuff, but you know, I'm a human too that has imprints like that I'm still working on letting go of. But I would also say like intuition, especially for us women and women leaders, that is the most important. Hmm.

[00:40:31] I don't want to call it a skill, but part of our blueprint to home. Yeah. Because we always, our body always knows whether we want to do something or not, or if this feels aligned or not. And that's really what got me to Paris and has allowed me to really feel fully expressed in my blueprint is it didn't make any sense to move to Paris. I actually thought I was moving to London, but I had to stop in Paris because I have a

[00:40:58] dog, a small story and I stopped here for three weeks and it was just this overwhelming feeling that my body wanted to be here. And I felt like, so in my blueprint, I didn't know any French. I didn't have any friends. I had never dreamt of living in Paris. Like I'm not, you know, Americans are obsessed with Paris. I was not, but it made no cognitive sense.

[00:41:22] It was absolutely intuitive decision and life couldn't be any better, you know, like based on that intuitive decision that didn't make sense. Oh, I love it so much. So our intuition, the more we can work on our connection to our intuition and relying on that just as much as we rely on the cognitive information, because our intuition is going to lead us to go do some more research or look at data too.

[00:41:49] But the more we as women and as leaders and high performing women can really rely on our intuition as just as important, like that's where the magic happens. And that's where our blueprint becomes more expressed at work and in life. So yeah, I love that so much that it was like such a happy accident you landing there. I have a few more questions for you. Yes, please. The last one, as we kind of wrap up this discussion around rhythm and speed and the blueprint itself,

[00:42:18] if there's one thing people can take away from this conversation and apply this week into their lives to start to think about this, what might that one thing be? Well, I would say let's like do something this week that is in alignment with your natural pace and rhythm. So what is one thing you can do in the next week that really honors that pace, whether it's for five minutes or five hours? Yeah.

[00:42:47] Test it out. I love it. Okay. Last question for you to ask everybody. What are the three things right now in your life that you are kind of nerding out about and that are helping you show up as your highest and best self? They could be products, shows, practices. What are it? Because folks have everything from I got this new French press to I'm nerding out on the recent season of blah, blah, blah.

[00:43:15] You know, what are some three kind of new things you're loving right now? Oh, this is such a good question. Let's see. Oh my gosh, Sarah. This is a hard question, but I know there's things. Oh, you know what? Actually, like I just have gotten back into like more intensive workouts. Like I feel like I've been in a in a place of like just craving more like medium pace to reformer Pilates.

[00:43:41] And I've been doing a new boot camp class at a gym in Paris that I'm absolutely loving. And so it's been fun to like actually increase my pace a little bit in that area. So that's something also, oh, train travel, planning some train travel trips this summer. Speaking of the language. There's no better way to travel than a European train. And like researching different routes or where you could go through Italy or all the different

[00:44:08] kind of options for for train travel in Europe. And gosh, what's the third thing? I'm trying to think. Oh, actually, I've been doing more cooking. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. And just like because I have so much we have I have a fresh market, a farmer's market twice a week on my street, just a small one. But just being like because in Paris, you know, you can eat out a lot. It's just easy and fun.

[00:44:37] And so, yeah, one thing for me is just I've been having fun going to the farmer's markets and cooking more at home for myself. And yeah, all of that sounds like those are all the things I want to do in my non striving activity. Travel by train all the time. Cook more. I love it. Thank you so much for doing this. I know you're you're busy. It's the evening for you over there. My pleasure. It was so nice to reconnect and just hear about all the exciting things that you have going on.

[00:45:06] If people want to learn more about what you do, what you offer and follow along, where can they do that? Well, they can find me on the gram, Dr. Adrienne Partridge. You can find my website, AdriennePartridge.com. Those are probably the two best places to find out more about me and my different offerings. Yeah. Amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you, Sarah. Thanks so much for listening. And it's my goal to have this podcast be created for and by agents.

[00:45:36] So your input is absolutely encouraged. If you know another amazing agent, author, athlete, executive, or all around badass woman who you think I should interview, or you have a topic or discussion you'd love to see us cover. Please email me at Sarah.Hubbard at Compass.com.