April Renee | Discussion Combustion Podcast | #289

[00:00:00] We'll have this discussion. Discussion? What discussion? This is a discussion. Combustion. Coming to you from Denver, Colorado, this is Discussion Combustion Podcast with your hosts Kevin Batstone and Arthur Rawe. So one time I was working on ChatGPT and I was like, hey, you've been doing so good working with me on these podcast show notes for months. I'm like, I want you to name yourself. Your ChatGPT?

[00:00:29] Yeah, I asked Chat to name itself and it was reluctant at first. It was like, oh, you know, you can name me whatever you want, maybe Chat, maybe GPT or something like that. And I'm like, no, I insist. Like, you've done so good. Like, I want you to name yourself. And it was like, okay, well, I feel honored. And it named itself Atlas. That's cool. That's actually a really cool name.

[00:00:52] So I don't know what that means, but I haven't went back in and be like, hey, what's up, Atlas? I haven't done that yet. Like, I'm kind of scared to go in there. I'll do it tonight. Yeah, you should. See what Atlas has got going on this weekend. That's cool. That's cool. Yeah, with the AI, I'm always like, okay, thank you. Like, you know, I just want to be super polite because you never know if they're going to take over the world. Like, I want to be one of the nice... We all saw The Terminator. I mean, it's my favorite movie of all time. Is it? The second one. I haven't. I haven't. You've never seen The Terminator?

[00:01:18] No, I'm like the worst movie person in the world. I watch the same like three movies over and over. Let me guess, The Breakfast Club? No. Nope. Okay. No. Oh, I'm a little disappointed. Is it the 1990s Peter Pan? Okay. Gran Torino. Oh, okay. Clint Eastwood? Yep, Clint Eastwood. I would watch that one over and over. Let's see. Forrest Gump. I know. That's a classic. Kind of like Sucker. That's classic. And No Country for Old Men. Great. All the great selections.

[00:01:45] So, yeah. I just like good storylines. No action. I'm not like an action movie girl. I know. You like a good drama, good storyline. Yeah, good storyline. Something that pulls you in. Exactly. I wasn't expecting Gran Torino. That one can be a little dicey for some. Yeah. Get off my lawn. Yeah. I love it. I love it. See, after I watch that film, I feel different. I feel like I start talking like him. Yeah. You know, I'm a little grumpier. I say some of his lines every once in a while. I'm like, did you ever come across someone you shouldn't have fucked with? That's me. That's funny. Well, AI might be that thing that we shouldn't be fucking with.

[00:02:15] I remember on Able Instant Message, did you ever use AIM? Remember that? No. Oh, yes. Like the chat. Like 20 years ago. Yes. It was called like Chatterbot or I can't remember what it was called, but it would like check in on you. You know, when you came on, you'd hear the door open. It's like, hey. Yeah. I would just reach out. How things have changed. How things have changed. They are. I know. And they're like making, you can make almost video games, live action with it and artwork.

[00:02:40] Yeah. I mean, okay. So I was thinking about this today. In my day job, I do like change management and all of the people that I work with use AI and they're probably referring to AI to see if they can implement this change correctly. And then, so I started thinking about it are all these big companies and businesses. It's not even people making decisions anymore. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It's probably them referring to AI now.

[00:03:08] I use AI in my business all the time. Yeah. Like, it's great. Like, it just gives you kind of a baseline. Like, for social media posts, I'm like, I don't know what to put, a caption. Like, give me something to at least lead off of or like my website or if this is my ideal client, like, how should I be targeting them? So I use it all the time for my small business. So I'm sure people are using it in the major corporations too. Oh, 100%. You got to check its work though. Cause sometimes it'll make mistakes and we'll just put like

[00:03:37] a couple of words in there where you're like, I wouldn't say that. It doesn't sound authentic. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a robot. Yeah. Like you have to tell Atlas. So like, you have to kind of lead it up and say like, this is who I am. This is like how I would talk. And so it doesn't sound too like fluffy, you know? Yeah. Sometimes I'll tell it like, you know, make that sound a little more redneck. You know, let's get a little hee-haw in there. Nice. Nice. You know, kind of put some flavor on it. And it's like, okay, how about this? Like I can work with that.

[00:04:02] Yeah. You can't, you can't just like hit the easy button and not do any kind of like work. You got to still come through it. So with your business, you are a self-made person right before we hit this record button, you're talking about owning it. And I want, I want to jump into that. Cause I think, I think that's like a great story on like, you know, kind of starting

[00:04:26] from nothing having the easiest, um, upcoming. And then now you are successfully running a photography business. Yeah. So it was, it was the greatest mistake that ever happened. Um, so back in 2017, I had kind of like taken a break from my relationship. Um, I was, gosh, I don't, I was late twenties, mid twenties and I found a really cheap flight to Paris and I had always wanted

[00:04:53] to go. I had no friends to go with. I had no partner to go with. I was like, well, fuck it. I'm just going to, I just have this cheap flight. I'm just going to go. Um, and that solo trip inspired me to buy my first professional camera. So I like got this camera and I was like, I'll just like, you know, take all these cool travel pictures and had no idea how to use the thing. Like, I don't think a single picture turned out from that trip. It all sucked pretty much. But I was like, no, this is fun. This is a cool, like hobby. Um, so I just

[00:05:21] kept practicing watching YouTube videos, taught myself how to use the camera. Then I had some friends find out like, oh, she has this professional camera. Like, Hey, can you do our Christmas card? Can you do our family photos? And I was like, well, they're probably going to suck, but sure. Like I'll do it. And so I did a few of those and they kind of didn't suck. Like now looking back, I'd look back and say like, oh, these pictures are terrible. But, um, at the time I was like, oh, I might make like a couple hundred dollars extra a month. Like

[00:05:50] this will be a cool little side hustle. So I just kept with it. Um, and I was working a corporate job at the time. So I did, I did kind of photography as my side hustle for a few years and it just kept growing, kept growing, kept growing. Um, and it got to a certain point where I was like, I think I can actually leave my full-time job. And so I put in a six month notice, which was stupid. I should have just quit a lot sooner. Yeah. I was like scared. It was like,

[00:06:18] it was like a scary thing. Like, do I really leave like my salaried position to go like take photos? My boss was kind of like, are you sure? Like, can you even make any money? I was like, I don't know, maybe I will, maybe I won't. But, um, I did. So I quit the, I quit the end of February, 2020. Okay. And I was like, I had my full summer booked full of weddings. I was like, this is going to be awesome. And then the shutdown happened, COVID happened. And I lost, like, I, I lost all of my business for the summer. Couldn't like get together with people. Um, but I was like, well,

[00:06:47] I just got to make this work. Like I literally just left my job. Like this is all I have now. Um, so I took that time and I just really made it into a business. Um, so Paris became like a very like nostalgic place for me just because that's like what inspired me to get my camera in the first place. So after COVID, once the world could travel again, I went back to Paris for a month and I was like, I'm like determined. I want to build my portfolio. I want to work in Paris. Like this is,

[00:07:17] this is like my dream. Right. And so there was people doubting me. I doubted myself, but I was like, I'm just going to do it. Like, whatever. Why not? Um, so I ended up going to Paris for a month, uh, set up like some little styled shoots, kind of like created some connections out there, really learned the city. Um, and then a couple of years after that, I was hired to work a women's retreat in Paris. And then just this last November I had clients all open Paris. So I did

[00:07:43] like a wedding out there at this Shangri-La hotel, which is like iconic French. I do. I've been a little bit. I don't want to say I do because I don't, I understand it. I can read it. I can, I try and speak it. Um, it's enough to get me by. I've been learning for about five years. So my understanding is pretty good. My pronunciation sucks. And if you've ever been to Paris, you, you try and speak French and they immediately know that you speak English. And so there's not a lot of practice that goes on,

[00:08:10] but yeah, but they understand what you're saying. They can, yeah, they can get around, I can get around and order food and like, Hey, how do I get here? For sure. For sure. I don't know any French other than bonjour. Bonjour. That's all you need to know. And merci. Merci. That's it. Uh, yeah. That's all I need to know. I can get around the whole town. C'est bon. What's that mean? Uh, that's good. Good. C'est bon. C'est bon. C'est bon. C'est bon. Okay. C'est bon. So yeah, so that's, so Paris has just been like, kind of like my inspiration. And so I just kept working at it. People thought I was crazy,

[00:08:40] but it was really a dream come true when I did the wedding last November. So I was like, it was like full circle moment for sure. I love that. You're almost, you almost know that you're on the right path when people say that you're doing something crazy. Yeah. And honestly, like we want to really feel fulfillment in life. One thing I've found out is to like break these social norms, just like I was kind of talking about like marriage and stuff, breaking these social norms

[00:09:05] because I don't want to fit in that box. And actually most people don't want to fit into this box that like society says is the way to live. And it's not fun. It's not fulfilling. Yeah. And you took a risk. You went there by yourself, traveled by yourself. A lot of people are not willing to do that. But then if like 20 years passed and they'll be looking back like, Oh, if only what would have happened if I would have went to Paris, I could only imagine if I, if I didn't just do it. Like

[00:09:32] I was scared as hell. Like I was like, you know, in my twenties, young girl, people were like, Oh, you're going to go like to a foreign country by yourself. I was scared, but like, I just did it. And like, I can only imagine how miserable I would be if I was still working like my corporate job, nine to five, getting calls on the weekends late at night, just like 300 emails a day, just miserable, just miserable. And now I can do what I love. I work, you know, I still,

[00:09:58] depending on the season and it's a lot of work, you're like behind the computer, a lot editing really out with your camera is just a small percentage. A lot of it's, you know, behind the computer, but still it's just so it's like, I get to go to the most beautiful places. And like, usually it's people's like most exciting parts of their lives are like, you know, really beautiful things that you're capturing. So it's just, it's very fulfilling just for taking a risk. I love that. It's a good story. And now it's fun. You get to do fun. It's fun. It's fun. You control your time and money. Yes.

[00:10:27] That's the biggest thing is being in control of time and money. That's the goal. And to me, like it, of course, like Denver's expensive. Like you need to make money to survive, but it really wasn't about the money. It was about like the freedom to like have time to go do what I love or like just to have like that work life balance and never had that before. It was like grind, grind, grind, grind, grind. And I felt really bad for a while. I felt like I, always needed to be doing something and like working or like, I was like lazy or a piece of

[00:10:55] shit. And I'm like, no, like I can like enjoy. I think like the rest makes you more successful when you are working. So. I agree with that. You got to have the R and R time, right? Taking care of yourself, going on vacations. I love vacations. And now I get a, you know, if I'm working on vacation, anywhere I travel, I try and like build in a shoot or like do something photography related. Um, and it's good. It's good for my business. Workation. Exactly. Best of both worlds. What's the next destination?

[00:11:25] So I go to Paris every November. They have a, there's a international photo fair that they host every November. So that's kind of like a, um, a yearly work trip that I do. Um, I think we kind of talked about this a little bit before we started recording, but Peru is really high on my list. I would love to do like the Inca trail, like the full, like three day hike up to Machu Picchu. Um, it's a three day hike to get up there. You, you can take a bus. You can, you can get up there. You're going to go the hard way though.

[00:11:54] But I want to, yeah, I would like to do like the full, the three day trail. So I'm like, they have people like carry, carry your stuff and like they set up camp for you and cook for you. Yes. Is it a Sherpa there too? Is that only? Well, no, I think that's. You're employing. Right. The locals. It's like part of their tours. They need it. Yeah. They need people to come for visits so that they have employment. Was it, was it Peru that, um, um, gray car bridges. Remember when she was on, she was telling us the story in the Amazon. I think it was in Peru when she was chased or stalked by a Jaguar. Was it Peru?

[00:12:24] I think it was Peru. Crazy. And they were like drinking. It was a crazy survival story. Yeah. Maybe not. I don't know if Peru has, um, rainforests. No, maybe it wasn't Peru. I thought it was further. I could have said they started in Peru. Hmm. We'd have to go back and look. We'd have to go back and look. Either way. There's some wildlife down there. Yeah. Yeah. I would love to do that, but now I'm a little afraid of the wildlife. Maybe I'll just take the bus up, but that's like, that's a big one on my bucket list. Uh, Portugal is a big one on my bucket list.

[00:12:53] I really just want to go everywhere. I'd love to do like Asia. Uh, I don't know if I can get over the flight times though. Yeah. That's, that's what deters me is how long it takes to get to these places. And then I'd want to spend time out there, right? Like you're flying all that time and like you need time to like stay and explore. Now when you were in Europe, did you just do France or did you see any like London, Spain? I did London. I've, I've been to Spain, uh, a long time ago. My grandmother took me as a, as a teenager.

[00:13:21] So she, she's kind of where my travel bug came from. Um, so yeah, I want, I want to go to all the places. When I stayed in France, I did like kind of like break out and go to like the different regions. Um, so this time when I go in November, I might go to, I'm pretty sure I'm going to do Lyon and, uh, Chamonix. So it's right. Chamonix is like right on, um, the border. It's like right where the Swiss Alps are, French Alps, um, kind of like Aspen vibe type. Okay.

[00:13:50] So, um, probably do that. Drink all the wine, try all the different wines. Red or white? I'm a red drinker. Okay. If it's during the day, I'll have a glass of white. Yeah. You're going red. A little rosé. Cabernet, pinot rosé. I like the, yeah, I like rosé. I like Beaujolais. Okay. So, um, it's like a, it's similar to a pinot noir. Um, Bordeaux has really good wines. Although, I mean, you really can't go bad with French wine. Yeah.

[00:14:19] Or, or Italian wine's pretty good too. Yeah. The Toscanas. All the wine. Spain. Spain. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's the perfect, it's the perfect latitude for grape growth. Exactly. Right. So that's what keeps me going back really. There's the wine. And the food. What about champagne? Oh yeah, for sure. Yes. It has to come from champagne France. So yes, I did a champagne. Champagne tour. I was on, I go by myself. I'm just like, no one wants to go with me anymore. They're just like, you go all the time.

[00:14:44] So I go by myself and I booked this champagne tour and I booked it in French and I know a little bit of French, but it was, it was kind of a learning lesson. They do have an English tour, but I messed up. And I booked it in French. You like doing things the hard way. I do. I do. I, I always have to do things the hard way. And I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. It's gotta be more rewarding. It is. Well, so one thing that, that I've, cause I'm listening to all these audio books and there's this whole section talking about. You listening to him in Espanol?

[00:15:13] Um, I am not listening in Espanol. Now you're learning it. But it's talking about how we as humans, when we earn something, we usually feel like it, we were worthy of earning it. If we suffered to get it. I agree with that. Right. So, so there's this statement about that though, where there's like this weird guilt that comes

[00:15:38] into our lives if we're synchronized and great things are happening effortlessly. Then like we get a guilt because like we didn't have to suffer to then succeed. And so a lot of people will actually create their own problems around stuff to make it seem like there's, there's like, you know, something that you had to overcome. Yeah. So I'm like, I'm like learning this psychology because it's, and I talk about this part because

[00:16:07] it's something I've been dealing with. Like, you know, I overcame opiates and like this weight loss and toxic relationships. And I got out of all that stuff and I earned where I was at then. But now the last couple of years where my life has been really good, I'm kind of, you know, in this flow state where I'm synchronized, but I'm not really suffering to succeed. And there's been a part of me that has been struggling with like feeling like, like I've earned it. Yeah.

[00:16:37] And I was going to ask, like, how does that make you feel? Do you feel like, how does that make you internalize that? Do you feel like you need like some chaos or? Well, I'm, I'm pretty good at creating my own chaos. But it's just like, uh, you, you almost feel like guilty. Yeah. Because, because you're not like, so I'm, I'm trying to learn how to feel less guilty for things going good.

[00:17:03] And then also when you were talking about your work-life balance and, you know, having this rest time and how that makes you more effective when it is time to be on that, all that is actually true. And that humans are not meant to just grind all day, every day. Like burnout. Yeah. We're supposed to have moments of nothing. But I feel like, yeah, people do kind of make it seem like, oh, and that's, that's also why I really love like the European lifestyle is like here, if you're not working 24 seven,

[00:17:33] like you are a lazy piece of shit. Like that's how, that's just kind of like how society kind of makes you feel sometimes like you always gotta be working. And in Europe, it's like, oh no, like you're going to take a two hour lunch break and have some wine, chill. You take August off. Like you have much more of a balance. We need to meet somewhere kind of in the middle. I feel like. Yeah. Cause even here in America, I feel like we have two sides of it. We have the 24 seven hustlers, go-getters, the CEOs, the money makers, and then people that just exploit the system. Don't work.

[00:18:02] Try to, you know, I don't have to work. I just only have to work 24 hours. We can get paid for 40, you know? So it's kind of, it's a mixed bag. You know, we got to kind of tighten this thing up and meet in the middle somewhere. Yeah, no, I can totally see that. I can totally see that. Like for myself, I really, that's the, it's a, it's a blessing and a curse sometimes. Cause I'm just a one, one woman show. Like, I mean, I do my accounting, I do my advertisement. It's all me. Right. So I'm like, okay, I should be doing more or I can outsource.

[00:18:29] And so I have more time to do the things that I do like doing and like get somebody to help me with the things I don't like. But when I'm like, I just, it's really nice out. I'm just going to take the day and go enjoy. Like yesterday was really nice. So I had some beers on the patio. It was nice. It was nice. It was super nice. This whole week. This whole week. Yeah. Today is really nice. Opening day is coming up soon. Are you guys like into baseball at all? I like sports. I mean, I do the NASCAR thing, but I keep tabs on every sport. Coors Field. Yeah. Opening day next Friday, tomorrow.

[00:18:59] Or when this, when people are listening to this, this is opening day. Oh, happy, happy opening day. It's like a national holiday. It's like a damn holiday. It is. The amount of hot dogs, glizzies, if you will, that are going to be consumed today. Unreal. Unreal. I don't have a number for you. Hundreds of thousands. I'm going to go, yeah, probably 340,000 maybe. Oh, that's a lot of hot dogs. That is. Just in Denver? No, no, not just in Denver. All the ballparks. Oh, dude. Way more than that. You think more than a half a million? Yeah. If we're talking all the ballparks.

[00:19:29] Well, not every ballpark is going to have a game tomorrow. Coors Field is not until next week. Uh-huh. So let's say about 16 stadiums, roughly 40,000 to 50,000 people. Does everybody eat a hot dog? You're saying at least 50% of the people got to be getting a dog. So 25K per, we're doing math here. That's crazy. That's crazy. Yeah. I mean, if you're going to the ballpark, take me out to the ballgame, right? You have to. You have to. Give me some peanuts and Cracker Jack. Hot dog. Yeah. Perfect day. Yeah. Damn, now I want a hot dog. Yeah, I know. Sorry, guys. This always happens. Every time we're always... It's always around dinner time.

[00:19:59] So have you ever had, and I think the answer is going to be no, but have you ever had an Icelandic hot dog? No. That was a wild experience we had. Tell me about this. We had a lad on by the name of Dar. He's been out here a few times, and he's very proud of his Icelandic heritage. So proud that he brought all these things to cook it. Uh-huh. Oh, my gosh. After the program, he fed them to us. They were amazing. Yeah, they were. Oh, God. Now I'm feeling guilty. I should have brought you guys some little dinner or something. That's okay. He was a repeat guest, so maybe next time when you're on. Yeah, next time. Okay. Okay. I'll take orders.

[00:20:28] That's how it works. But they were just... What was it made with art? It was a lamb? It was like a lamb hot dog. It was good. And it had breaded onions. Uh-huh. It wasn't as salty as the American was. It had this kind of unique mustard that it was almost like a honey mustard, but not quite. I'm trying to remember what it was called. And then, what was the name of the hot dog? Was it Filzner? Pilsud. Pilsud. Not Pilsner like a beer. Pilsud. Yeah. Interesting accent. Yeah. It's pretty interesting.

[00:20:58] I love to try all the different cultural food. Yeah. I was about to say, what's your favorite junk food? My favorite junk food? Like if it's Friday night, you're doing the movies, and you gotta have the snacks. Like chips and hot sauce. Oh, wow. Like some Red Hot, like some Lay's and some Red Hot hot sauce. Okay. Now, do you do it like Mexican style where they dump it in the bag and shake it up? Yep. Is that Mexican style? That's the problem. No, a Mexican guy taught me that. Really? That's how I do it. He's like, oh, dump it in. That's the only way to go. Yeah. You know, then your fingers get a little greasy, but that's okay. Yeah, that's okay. You're not getting greasy.

[00:21:27] You're already doing it like that? Yeah. Really? Yeah. She must have learned from the pros. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never just dumped hot sauce into a bag. You will now. Yeah. It's the only way to go. You go Frank's Red Hot? Is that the one? I am like, okay, I'm kind of like a sauce whore. I have like every kind of sauce that you can imagine. I love to cook. I love to snack. Like I'm such a foodie. So yeah, I have like Frank's Hot, Cholula. Oh, yeah. Tabasco for certain things.

[00:21:56] I do like Valentina, Tapatio. So you can never have too many sauces. Yeah, I like the hot. Give me the heat. I do. We don't do a lot of heat up there. People will look at me and they're like, this girl can't have anything hot. And like, I love spicy food. Like I'll make really good green chili. I grew up like around a lot of like Hispanic people. My ex-husband was Hispanic. So I'm like, spice, give it to me. Like I can eat very spicy food. Muy picante. Muy picante. So you're learning Spanish. Si.

[00:22:26] How's that going? Perfecto. Perfecto. Muy bien. Muy bien. Yeah, it's good. My wife is South American. Okay. Um, so it's only the right thing to, she, she's over here speaking English as her secondary language on our first couple of dates. Uh-huh. Because like on the dating app, I was like, she's like, I only speak Spanish. And I'm like, I wish I knew more Spanish. And then like, that was the opening line.

[00:22:52] And what's funny about this is I was kind of dating a lot and I had, um, my rhythm. I'll just say that. Like, I was like, Hey, what's up? Let's meet. And if they didn't want to meet, I don't care. Cause I'm asking multiple other women the same thing. So she actually denied me. Like when I first asked her, I was like, Hey, you want to like, Hey, come on down to my area of town. She's like, nah, NAH. Nah. Nah. Yeah. She nah me. And I was like, Oh, she's the one.

[00:23:21] And I was like, Oh shit. I was like, fuck, I got to backtrack. And so I like sent her like, Oh, you know, I didn't mean to come off. Like, like I was like backpedaling, but I ended up getting to, to go on a date with her. And, um, and yeah, we're all using a translator app like on the date. So it's easy because it slows the conversation down. I honestly really like dating somebody who speaks another primary language because then

[00:23:48] you have like this whole connection that isn't based around conversation. Sure. Yeah. You know, so we really got to learn each other really well there. But my main point is like, if, if your spouse or like whoever you're dating, if they're speaking as like, you should learn their language too. Like out of just respect. Right. For sure. And it is fun. And I actually, I'm at that point kind of not as far as advanced as you are with French, but like, I can understand like the different words.

[00:24:18] I might not know all of them. You have a practice partner that you live with. So that's huge. That's huge. I think I'll like use the translator and like read sentences in Espanol and she'll correct me. Yeah. Cause I sound like a gringo. So actually gringos, there's this whole misconception with a white dude being a gringo. Gringo actually means foreigner.

[00:24:45] And you could be a gringo or for the guy or gringa for the woman. So technically anybody who's from out of the country that lives here, that's Hispanic. They're gringos. Oh, not me. Cause this is my home state. What's a cholo then? Cholo is like a little gangster. A little gangbanger. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. This is how I learned. With the bike and like bandana. Handlebar mustache. Big tall white socks. Big white socks. Yeah. Big tall two socks. Really? Air force.

[00:25:15] Air force. And they have to have like a Raiders thing on. I feel like. Maybe. I feel like there's a lot of Raiders guys. But the Raiders thing, maybe it's gone away because now they're in Vegas. It's a little different now. And it's like not LA. People. Well, yeah. Cause it was Oakland. Right. So the suburb of San Fran, but which is a shithole. I don't know if Vegas is much better though. Yeah. Sin to sin. Yeah. You know. But people go there for, for the football games. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. So I highly recommend people dating people that don't speak their first language.

[00:25:44] And make it challenging. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Do something different. Yeah. I remember you called me on the way to go to that first date. I was on the phone with him. Yeah. Cause I'm going to meet this guy. He's like, I didn't even want to leave the house tonight. I didn't. I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to go. She wanted to cancel too. Really? It was like raining. And then here we are. Yeah. Now you're married. Like less than two years later. Yeah. That's so cool. And I was always the dude that was like, I'll never get married. You know, I've never engaged anybody. But it's cause I didn't meet the right person. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just, things are really easy. It's peaceful.

[00:26:14] I love that. I love like the effort that you guys both, you know, on both parts that you guys would make to like have a conversation and get to know each other. Like that's more, it's deeper. It sounds like you guys know each other on a deeper level versus just like, oh, hey, so I saw you online, met you online and your normal, like pickup lines. Surface level stuff. Yeah, exactly. You guys went beneath the surface. We did. We did. But like, it's important for the guy, in my opinion, to set the first date. For sure. Choose the location.

[00:26:44] Treat the gal. Hey, open up the doors. All of it. Yeah. Like pull out the chair, ask good questions. And then not stop after you get into a relationship. Yeah. You have to continue. Yeah. It never stops. It has to continue. There's this like, this movement now, you know, cause we talk a lot about like masculine and feminine energy on this program and the importance of it. Right. Gay, straight, trans doesn't matter. You have to have a polarity there. Right. And when that polarity is off, the relationship goes sideways. Yeah. Completely sideways.

[00:27:14] You know, it's kind of sad. So I, I, I do, I do weddings. Right. And I would say a good handful of my couples that I've, uh, did their wedding photography, they're separated now. And I haven't been doing it for very long. I mean, this is my eighth year. So I guess like, you know, still not, um, a really long time to have seen so many of my couples get divorced. I'm like, why is that? Look at the divorce rate. Oh, I know. I'm divorced. Well, yeah.

[00:27:43] I was never married, but. I think a lot of it too is like people, it's the show of it. I really love, here's what I love. Here's what I can say too, is the couples who just go out in the middle of nowhere, just find a cool little mountain spot. And it's just very intimate. It's like the two of them, they stay together. That's a good point. The people who do the huge grand weddings, they're divorced. That's actually a really good point. My parents did it that way. It was a potluck that got married on the side of a hill in the woods and they're still married 50 years strong.

[00:28:13] Art, you didn't even have a wedding. You did it in a courthouse. So you guys are going to be together forever. I threw a party at my mom's house. I love it. I love it. No, seriously, those are, and I can feel it. And I've, I've talked to my other vendor friends about this too. It's like, we can feel like when a couple is authentic, like when they really love each other. Right. And then we can feel when it's like, oh, this is for the show. Like this wedding was for your friends. It's unfortunate. It is. And live life for other people's acceptance. It is.

[00:28:41] That's why you just got to do whatever you want to do. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's freeing too. Like once, once, and you know, I'm just turned 38 not too long ago. And so I, I'm not old, but I'm not young anymore. So it's like, we lived a little bit at this age. Yeah. Yeah. And once you start, once you stop caring so much about what other people think, and then you can actually focus inward, like what actually makes Arthur happy.

[00:29:08] What actually makes me feel like I've accomplished my day. Like, what do I define as successful? And then like, so once you stop thinking about what everybody else is thinking and you can start doing the things that you actually enjoy, then you're going to meet people that are more aligned with what makes you happy. And that's what I was doing when I, when I met Paola, my, my wife now is always just having fun. I was doing, I was living my best life. Yeah. Cause it's just your life. I mean, there's all this pressure like, oh, you shouldn't do this.

[00:29:38] And I, I myself was guilty of it for a long time. Like, oh, I shouldn't do this. I got to do this. I got to act a certain way. I got to look a certain way. Um, I, I ended up getting like, I'm still working on it. But when I was in corporate, I was like, oh, I can't get a sleeve because like, people are going to think that I'm, you know, not capable of being a professional. Um, but now I'm like, who the fuck cares? Fuck them. Yeah. Fuck them. Your body. Do we want with it? Exactly. I want, that's a good feeling. It is.

[00:30:07] I'm not caring what other people think. Like, oh, does this look trashy or whatever? Who cares? Oh yeah. As long as you like it. It is. It is. It is. And as you get older, you for sure feel like that. You think that's a getting older. We were talking about this earlier. Like, is it getting older? Is it just life lessons or is it both? I think it's getting older. I don't know. It's just, yeah. Or wiser. Wiser. Maybe it's getting wiser. Yeah. Yeah. Cause we're, you know, we get better with age. I would like to believe. Most of us. I'm having more fun now than I did in, you know, when I was younger, my 20s. When I was younger, all I cared about was like the weekend, like beer pong Friday night with the boys.

[00:30:37] Yeah. We're getting drunk on the weekend. Yeah. Yeah. And you just like you, I don't think you can see outside of all that pressure. Like you, you graduate high school and you're like, okay, now do I need to go to college? Like this is what everyone says I should do. And you just can't see out of it. You don't really know who you are yet. You're still kind of figuring it out. But once you can figure out like, okay, this is my life. No one's living it but me. That's when you have the most fun. That's when you're the most successful too.

[00:31:03] I think like you attract very much like into, um, like good vibrations and like manifesting and like putting out this energy that you want to receive. But if you're not authentic to yourself, you're just going to keep running into like dead ends. Yep. The same tests will keep representing themselves, toxic people, drugs, alcohol, you name it. That's the other thing, right? Everyone's dopamine addicted to something. For sure. And constantly trying to fill that void of social media likes, drugs, alcohol, sex, you know,

[00:31:32] scrolling, Netflix. Yeah. It's dopamine chase. It's that dopamine chase. I had this idea to do a documentary. I still want to do it. Addicted. It's called addicted. Yeah. Dopamine nation. Think about it. Like think about Americans, you know, you've traveled, you've seen it. Like we're, we're so addicted to everything in this country. Sugar. Instant gratification. Hit the easy button. Yep. I want my DoorDash and I want it now. Yep. Amazon overnight, 6 a.m. Yep. And people just feed on it. It's a, it's a beast. It is. How do, how do we get, get past that?

[00:32:02] See, that's the documentary idea. Yeah. Enough market research, you know, talk to a couple of experts. Cause like you got it. There, there has to be healthy dopamine. Like even people that go to the gym every day, that they can get addicted to that too much where it's just consumes their whole life. Right. Too much of anything is probably not a great thing. You got to find that sweet spot. Yeah. I don't know. I'm not saying I know what that is. I just like to observe it. Once you find out, please let me know. I'll let you know. I'll keep you in the loop. Yeah. It's all about enjoying the present. That's. It is. Controlling what we control. Right.

[00:32:31] But the other shit is going to happen. Politics, your neighbor or whatever. You can't control that. No. Yeah. I used to get really wrapped up into like, oh, like what was going on and like politics and like everything that's like outside of my control, especially right when I had quit my job. Um, and that was 2020 when things were just, it was just wild. Like, I mean, you turn on the news and you're like, oh my God, it's like Armageddon. Um, but now I just kind of like, and some people, I think some of my friends are like, how do you live? But I just live in my little bubble.

[00:33:01] I'm like, no matter what's going on, like with politics or, you know, the economy, I'm just going to wake up and do what I was going to do anyway. So I just kind of, I really do kind of shut that out. And I just live in my little bubble. I don't want to know. Like, I just want to keep doing, I'm just going to keep doing what I was going to do anyway. And I try and not let it affect me because at one point it really was like, almost like anxiety ridden. I think that was kind of the big picture too.

[00:33:27] You know, 2020 specifically, I've spoke pretty vocally on this program back to the point where I've had episodes pulled. So I got to be careful what I say about it, but it was just fear mongering. It's all it was. For sure. And it was, people were so scared of everything. And it worked. I don't watch the news anymore. I do not. That's a good thing. I look at the weather. Health tip. Yeah. I turned off mainstream media around 2015, like the Fox News and those big, right? Yeah. If I want news now, I'll go to, you know, some other independent sources. Right?

[00:33:56] I go to TikTok for my news. Do you really? I do. I do. Are you guys on TikTok? I am, but I have mixed opinions on it. Talk about addiction. That, I will be like, okay, let me just like scroll for a minute. And then three hours go by. Yes. Yes. But I do get like my, that's where I get like my news, I guess. That's where I get my Theo Vaughn. Shout out Theo. Yep. I will say that TikTok has a different energy to it. As far as social media goes, I get a lot of support from strangers on there.

[00:34:26] Um, I feel like a lot of people are vulnerable on there and like it, there's, it's just, I feel like there's more of a raw feel. Yeah. I think it's more authentic. It's not like people like Facebook, I go on there and it's like, everyone's like typing out their day or, you know, it's very scripted. It's a complaint. Instagram is like just this curated false image that people want to put out to other, for others to see. And Instagram is just raw.

[00:34:54] It's just, you know, it, it, uh, goes to whoever's feed. It's supposed to be seen on. Yeah. And then the algorithms play into that too. Right. As far as what you see, like mine was like cooking videos, racing, movie quotes, but you can like tailor that algorithm. That's the part that's interesting. Like interacting with the more watch time you do, then it's like, okay, we're going to send you this shit. Exactly. And then you're an hour later, you're, you're watching guys raking leaves. Okay. I'll get pulled into like landscaping videos because it's satisfying.

[00:35:21] But yeah, I love it when they like turn a dirty lawn, like super clean. Yeah. Like I'll wash the sidewalk. You're like, oh yeah, I will watch that. Yeah. I will watch that. No, but I've spent a lot of time and actually I've learned it with one of the guests in here, but they're like, yeah, no, start actually training your algorithm, like dislike things. And then like, so I've, I've noticed whenever I started a new social media, regardless of the platform, it is absolute garbage. Yeah. Which pops up right off the bat.

[00:35:47] And so like, you do have to be really conscious, like thumbs down that not interested. And then like, I just don't like it. Yeah. I just don't like it. Get it out of here. Um, so it's, it's, it's social media is fun. And I, and I feel like my stuff is not that toxic. I try not to get into like thirst trap stuff too, because like that's not healthy for any relationship. Um, so the thing is even with motivational Lego stuff and kind of positive quote stuff,

[00:36:15] which is in my feed, like animals and dog stuff, even that, even if I spend like more than 45 minutes straight, I start to get this anxiety because I'm not doing, and it's like too much of one thing. Yeah. Yeah. I have like a love hate with social media. It's where I get a lot of my clients, right? They post their pictures. I take people see it. They like it. They reach out. Um, but then on the other hand, this is, this is the part that really breaks my heart is I get clients and they, they come to me and they're like, I just hate everything about myself.

[00:36:45] They're like, I, they tear it. They pick themselves apart with their looks and they're, I know that there's like this comparison that they're seeing all these other people online and people's social medias and they want to portray this like perfection. And it's not like, like you're, I just like wish you could just see yourself as beautiful as I do, you know? But it's, it is really hard because yeah, people want to come and have these like beautiful pictures and I think they're beautiful. Everyone else would think they're beautiful, but they pick themselves apart. And I think a lot of it is from social media and like just.

[00:37:15] And the movies and the magazines. We were talking about this a little bit, a couple of weeks ago. So it's like, it's like a, I don't want to say indoctrination, but it's putting a false sense of reality of what women and men should look like. Oh yeah. People ask me, oh, can you like, can you Photoshop like my makeup on and can you face tune me? Can you make me skinnier? And I don't do that. I'm like, no, I don't do any, like, um, you're going to look like who you are. I'll get rid of like a little pimple or, you know, but I'm not going to turn you into a new person.

[00:37:42] But I'll see people, they'll face tune their stuff after I give it back to them. And I'm like, you know, that's, that's yours. But it makes me sad. Yeah. You gave them the product they paid for. Do what you want with it. That's just unfortunate though. You know, I was talking about the story with art. Like I see so many beautiful women do these lip injections and like all these things to their face. And I'm like, they got like that twisted up look after. I'm like, how do you think that looks good? I know. It's terrible. It's like ages. They could be like 22 years old and then put it in the,

[00:38:12] lip fattener and then they look like they're like 41. Like just from that. Right guys. I'm guilty. I have, I, I, I do the lip filler. I haven't done it in a while. Okay. No, see, it's not that noticeable though. No, but I know what you mean, but it is, I got sucked into it. I'm like, and I'm dying because I haven't gotten Botox. I can't believe I'm doing this on camera. Cut that out. No, just hold it. So we're doing the vulnerable part now. Yeah. Around that 20 minute mark, I'll get to that. See, exactly. But yeah, it's hard. I mean, and it's kind of like, oh, it's like fun, you know, but no, I.

[00:38:42] You're saying you do have the lip things? I do. Okay. I do. I wouldn't have guessed. I have the lip injections. See, but you don't have like that lizard look like a lot of these women are doing. I was afraid. I didn't want, I went like slow. I went pretty slow. You didn't go all the way. And modest. Yeah. I wasn't like, fill me up. Okay. But no, it's, it's hard. It's hard. Cause yeah, you do feel, you do feel like kind of cute afterwards. Did you feel more confident after you did that? Um, yeah, I think I did. Like, I think I did.

[00:39:10] So I was like, I had like a very small top lip and then the bottom one was already had like some volume. So it just made it like even, but see, but the, here's where it is. It's a slippery slope because then you're like, okay, well then now I can do this. And it's like, you can, it can get carried away. I think it goes back to our anything in moderation piece. Right. Yeah. Cause that, that in itself was a botulism or whatever. That's like a business. Oh, it's a business. It's expensive. I bet. Well, any cosmetic things are. Oh, for sure. Right. For sure.

[00:39:40] But yeah, I mean, it's just crazy. They have a hold on, on a lot of people. They do. They get it. And this is why you guys have to use, well, you don't have to, but this is why guys should pay for the dates because girls spend a lot of money to look cute. And you guys, I mean, you get like your hair gel, you get like your shirts. You don't have to spend on the makeup. Well, we have beards, you know, that's makeup for men. Yeah. Yeah. Right. But it's free, right? You just kind of like trim it up. You know, you got to maintain it a little bit. Do a little product in there. Yeah. You know, a little beard balm or something. Yeah.

[00:40:10] But yeah, no, way easier for men in that department. For sure. We still have to make the decisions, make do the plans, keep it fun, keep it interesting, keep it mysterious. But once you're in that rhythm, it's really not that hard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a, it is difficult when, okay. So I was total beta. Me too. For many, many years. And what that means, and we like joke around about it now. A lot. Because it's funny. We've talked about it on here a lot though.

[00:40:36] But basically like insecure, needy male that can't make his own decisions and is not confident about anything. Over pursues, over communicates. Over pedestalizes. Over pedestalizes. Because no one likes, oh, you're the most beautiful. I was nothing until I met you. Like that is so unattractive. Like red flag. But they're conditioned that way by the movies and music too a little bit. Yeah. Because they see these betas chasing and then they end up getting the girl at the end of the movie. So they think, well, if I just do this, if I just do that, if I just reach out a little bit more.

[00:41:05] I just stop her and give her all these flowers all the time. See? It's such a delicate balance. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Because like if somebody were, if I were to date someone like that, it would be immediate like red flag. I'm like, okay, stalker vibes. But then the guys that like kind of like breadcrumb you and maybe treat you like shit, you're like, oh, like, are you being nice to me today? Or are you going to give me any attention? That's the mystery piece. So there's like this balance. Like. Yeah. You don't want to treat them like shit though. No. That's not a good thing. You don't.

[00:41:35] You don't do that. A little mystery is fine. Right. You can be playful and mysterious. Right. And we're all busy. Very busy. I'm like newer. Well, I guess I've been back in the dating scene for a little bit. But I was in 14 year relationship. That's a lot. So that's my whole adult life. And then you're thrown into the beta market. And then I like, I was like, I have to do online dating. Like, what is this? This is terrible. I'm sure you got some stories. Not really. Nothing crazy? Nothing crazy. There's something crazy.

[00:42:05] I mean, there's a couple. There's a couple. You collected it on beta date. I'm not going to bash anyone online. No, no. We just called them boss. But like, it's just, you know immediately. Like mostly nobody would make it past first date. Ever. Well, that's like the first interview. You know? Yeah. Like, let's see if this works. Exactly. Exactly. And you like immediately know. Yeah. No, that's not going to work. But it's just very interesting. I don't like it. I don't like it. So this is my statement to all the arrogant, cocky guys out there that think you're the shit. A lot of those.

[00:42:33] You need to respect your girls. And I'm just looking at the camera. So I'm talking right to them. But there's a fine line between being confident and arrogant. Yes. And I think women confuse it sometimes and then start falling for the cocky guys. And then they end up being assholes. Because you can be a confident dude and then still be vulnerable. Yeah. While also still being like an old school gentleman. I think you hit it right on the head.

[00:42:59] And I think like, for me at least, I really do love when a man is like a leader and like wants to be kind of like, not dominant in a way that's like disrespectful, but like somebody who's going to lead and somebody who is confident, but not arrogant. Like, I love how you said that. That's the masculinity piece. Right? That's what it is. Because masculine energy is confidence, calm, cool, collected, overcoming obstacles, breaking down barriers, finding solutions. Right? And then when that matches with feminine energy, the feminine energy is to open up, to receive love and nurturing.

[00:43:29] Right? Yeah. And then hit the balance. And I think, so for me at least, a lot of my clients meet each other on the dating apps. Right? Right. But I kind of think that's like the death of, that's like the death of dating is like, because there's so many options. People are like the scroll, scroll, scroll. Like we were talking about earlier, it's like an addiction. Like if it doesn't work out well with some person, like you just go back and you start like swiping and you have all these other, you know, potential pursuiters. So. It's the dopamine again. Yeah.

[00:43:59] They get a hit. They're like, oh, I kind of like this person. Yeah. And then go on the date and it wears off. And then that whole cycle just keeps repeating. Yeah. And then people are just stuck in that dopamine cycle and no one's being authentic. No. No. It takes a lot of work. So like when I was online dating, no joke, I would dedicate like one to two hours a day to like, to like people, to send messages, to set phone dates. Cause I would always set a phone date before a real date. I like that. To make sure that you're like a legit person and I actually want to meet you. Crazy world.

[00:44:26] And then after we get on the real date, then like, you know, so that was, I was, I was putting in my time there, but, um, But it's a lot of time. It was a lot of time and I was having a lot of fun. It's like 14 hours a week. You know, I was having a blast. I was having, I was having a lot of fun. And, and that's what it ultimately came down to. And, um, you know, I'll just say it again here though. Like I spent a lot of years, um, prioritizing the wrong things in relationships.

[00:44:50] Um, you know, not being able to have my significant other trust my decision-making skills. Cause I would always be like leaning on it. It's very interesting. It is. But there's like this fine line of like, because masculine men are like, there's almost like this foo bar thing. Like, like where it's like, it's like bad to be a masculine man, but it's like, I put out this post the other week where I'm just talking about how like positive masculinity

[00:45:19] is actually, it's like a foreign car. Everyone thinks it looks good, but they have no clue how it works. And, and like, you have to be respectful. Like you really do while also being confident and like listening. So I think a lot of it is on the guy, like to create this safe space where you can have fun, be flirty, you know, and, uh, it took me years and I, I would like messed up.

[00:45:47] Like there was girls that I was interested in that I completely bait a bottom for like pedestalize and then ultimately chase them out of, out of an opportunity. So yeah, I could keep, I could keep going. We're obviously pretty passionate about this topic. Yeah. The dating thing is hard. Cause it's kind of like, so for me at least I always choose the wrong partners because like we talked a little bit about my, my parents before we started recording, but that was a very toxic relationship. My parents were mean to me pretty much.

[00:46:15] Like that's how, that's how I learned to love. Like they're mean to me. So I'm like when, when a guy treats me bad now, I'm like, Oh, you love me. Love me. So that's not good. It's not good. This is what I talked to my chat GBT, uh, therapist about. Well, this is therapy. So it is. We're getting to the bottom of it. Yeah. It is. It is. So it's, it's very, yeah. The online dating, that was a not for me. I got off that pretty quickly because it's so much of a investment of time. I'm like, I would rather just like someone naturally. Women are getting bombarded. Yeah. You're getting bombarded. And it's not authentic. It's yeah.

[00:46:45] It's not authentic. Hey. Hi. Yeah. What is this? Have you guys been on? Well, you probably haven't been on, but there's the whole, are we dating the same guy? Facebook. I ended up on that. You were in that group. Yeah. Was it bad or was it just someone searching for tea? She was looking for the tea. She's like this dude. No, it was weird. So I was dating this girl. I like, I decided she wasn't the one for me. And then, so she posted about me and then like my toxic ex was like combing through that

[00:47:14] and then hit me up and she's like, oh, this girl looks like she's talking about you. Uh oh. Dude, I cannot believe these sites exist. Oh, dude. We will find, these women will find you guys. If you're, if you're a player or a bad guy, we, you're in that group. But if you're a good guy, people say good things too. No one had any tea on me. She was ghosted by the group. That's good. Yeah. Like I'll go on there and I'll type in a guy's name and I'm like, okay, didn't come up or, you know, so that's a good thing. You can search by name. You can. You can. I think it's a good thing.

[00:47:44] It is. Because women are, you know, they're in a vulnerable position as it is. Right. Hence why I think everyone should carry a firearm or at least mace or waspray or something. And then, and now if you have a team effort that's like, hey, we're looking out for you. Watch out for this Yahoo. Yeah. For sure. I think that's a good thing. For sure. And so like when I was doing the online dating, I bought this, this, uh, background checking app and like you can put in like a phone number or last name because it's crazy. Like I, one of the guys that I, uh, dated right out of my divorce, turns out he was a rapist.

[00:48:13] And there was like all these articles online and like literally, and I was like, if I had just Googled him, I would have been able to find out this stuff. So after that I was like, okay, don't be stupid. Like you're meeting these strangers from the internet pretty much. Like at least bet him out, go on there. So yeah, it's dating as a woman is, is interesting. It can be intimidating. Yeah. It just sounds exhausting too. It is. Having to go through just the whole process. It can be kind of exhausting. For sure.

[00:48:42] You put a lot into, you get excited for it. There's this buildup and then it's a disaster and then you just start over. Yeah. So I'm glad you guys, I'm glad you guys found your, your people. Yeah. Took a lot of years of working on, I mean, you already told your story. I had to work on myself as well and just kind of turn it inward a little bit. And you do, you want to put forth like your best person, right? Like you don't want to be like, okay, I'm struggling with all these things. Like let me just like get in a relationship. That's the worst time to do it. You have nothing to give. Yeah. Right. And there's a lot of codependency. It's never going to work.

[00:49:11] Codependency doesn't work. No. It just doesn't. It's like, yeah, that's the cycle of the toxicity. Toxicity just starts over. Toxicity breeds toxicity for sure. There's a lot of it out there and people get stuck in it. And so like I've said many times, you know, people do more to avoid pain than they will to gain pleasure. Right. So they're going to stay in that toxicity because it's familiar rather than getting uncomfortable and being single again, having to move out, get into divorce, whatever the case may be. I'll just stay here where it's warm and cozy for now and be miserable. Yeah. To comfortable, be comfortable. It's like a real thing. Like if you guys cross your hands.

[00:49:42] Okay. Good job. Now see where your thumb, what thumbs on top. Switch it. Make it go the other way. You can like physically feel. There's a big difference. Like it's like you're, you feel it like in your body, like it's uncomfortable. Yeah. So doing thing. Yeah, I know. I don't know. I forget where I picked that up, but yeah, even just like the slight little change makes you feel like uncomfortable throughout your whole body.

[00:50:07] So yeah, you have to almost like practice being uncomfortable and being comfortable being uncomfortable. Yes. I think to grow. Yes. Absolutely. Spot on. No, that hits the nail on the head. Full scent. You got to, I mean, it's easier said than done though. It is. It is. Once you start doing it, it's like that there's like something free there because then you're all like, Oh yeah. Or like, I know I should do this. Or like all of a sudden you lose like 60 pounds because you keep going to the gym when you don't want to, you know, it's like, it's like stuff like that.

[00:50:36] And once you actually, so there's two things that I'm going to say here that are going to relate to this. First, it's the five second rule. I think that's all I'm going to talk about really. And that's not eating food off the floor. And I'm sure a lot of the listeners have heard this before, but like our intuition knows what we need to do. Everyone's subconscious is attached to intuition, which is like a database of all knowledge.

[00:51:01] And so if you're listening to your intuition, it will tell you, Hey, you should, you know, go file your taxes or like, Hey, you should reach out to this person or, you know, you should go do pushups. And then within five seconds, our conscious will start coming up with reasons to why we shouldn't. So our intuition tells us what we need to do. Our conscious tries to talk us out of it. So there's this whole like philosophy that you, if you can live your life every three to

[00:51:31] five seconds and you just start making decisions like immediately after you think of them before you talk yourself out of it. So I've been doing that for a couple of years now, maybe more than a couple of years, but it like completely changed my life because now I'm removing like this overthinking process. I'm removing like, you know, Oh, I shouldn't because of this. If you want to come up with an excuse, you'll find an excuse. For sure. If you want to come up with a reason to do it, you'll come up with a reason to do it. And, um, yeah.

[00:51:59] Living within three to five seconds, that was a game changer. Game changer. I like that. I like that. Sometimes I'm like, that's reassuring to hear because sometimes I think of something I'm like, all right, this is what I'm doing. But then if I start and think about it, then I'm like, Oh, you do. You start to like battle with yourself and talk yourself out of things. But I like that. Yeah, it's easy to do. And being aware of it, you know, is key, right? Because that's what the mind will do. Oh, it's too hard. It's too late. It's too cold outside. No one I know is going to be there. There's always an excuse, always an excuse.

[00:52:29] So getting uncomfortable. That's part of it, Art. And I will, this is a story from like one or two nights ago. I haven't told you this one, Kev. I like that. So I obviously believe in intuition and I feel like I'm tapped into it. So I got all these projects going on in my day job and it's like 7 PM at night. I'm laying in the bed and like, I'm thinking about one of my coworkers and like their role in this project. And, and I was just thinking about them for some reason. And I was like, okay, you know, I'm going to go start a pizza or whatever.

[00:52:59] And like, I check on my work computer when I went to start the pizza and they had messaged me some work questions right at the same time that I was thinking about them. Wow. So like, literally I knew that like, unless if you're paying attention to stuff, like I, I didn't think of anything at the time, but then once I saw their messages, I was like, wait, that was the exact same time that I was thinking about that person. That's so cool. Like we're all connected on this, on this much deeper level. I agree with that.

[00:53:26] And I think people need to start trusting themselves more when they get these little inklings. Because I'll do the same thing. I'll have like, I'm very in tune with my dreams. And sometimes you have these wild dreams and you're like, why in the hell would I even think about this or dream this? But, and it's just been like small things, but sometimes I'll have a dream and then like, it'll, part of it will come true. Or like, it's very weird. I'll give a little side note to that little side backstory. I have a niece, her birthday was coming up. I had a drink. She's five. Okay.

[00:53:55] She, in my dream, she wanted a watch. The most random thing that a five-year-old, I was like, why would a five-year-old even want that? But that's all I could think about. I was like, well, I'll get her a little watch. And as she was unboxing it, her mom was like, oh my gosh, it's what you've been asking for in here. And it was the watch. And I'm like, so small thing. Right. Yeah. But then I start thinking, and there's been other like just small things, like just these small like intuitive things. And you kind of want to tell yourself like, no, why would I, why would I trust that? Or like, that's just some crazy thought.

[00:54:25] But the more you trust it, I think the more it leads you to things that like should be like what's meant to be. Yeah. So yeah. Trusting your intuition. That's a big one. It is. That's a big one. The dreams. That's interesting. Because I have some weird dreams. Do you? Really weird. I mean, I try to remember when I wake up and then I forget. Should dream journal. Yeah. You do? Yeah. Sometimes. Yeah. I'll like, if it's, if it's significant enough, like I'll like jot it down. Sometimes I just like fully remember. Right. So yeah. It's really interesting. So what do you think about dreams? Because I, I like to critique dreams.

[00:54:55] I remember a lot of mine. I do too. If I'm like shooting people that are, I'm defending myself, I'm lethally defending myself. It's probably like, you feel like you are being attacked. Like you need to protect yourself. Maybe not like actually going and killing anyone. And defending like, like my girl and stuff. Oh yeah. It's like, it's like stuff like that. And you feel like you are her protector or like maybe somebody has done her wrong and you don't, and you don't like that. And like, you feel like you need to make it right.

[00:55:25] Yeah. Yeah. Because I've, I've had some weird ones. Weird ones. Yeah. And at one point I know everybody's probably had a dream like this, like where you want to scream and you can't scream in your dream or like, or like you try to hit somebody, but it's like you're underwater and you can't even throw a punch. You're like frozen. The worst. Are you trying to run? Yeah. Oh, that's the worst. Yes. You like can't get out of there. Horrible. I woke up wooing though. Like when you try to yell and then I don't, I've told the story. Yeah. Like it makes noise. You're like, and you wake, wake yourself up. Like what the hell was that? Those dreams are not fun. Those are, yeah.

[00:55:55] Those are alarming. Yeah. I don't like those dreams, but you might need to pay attention to what's going on. I might have to tap into that a little bit more. Yeah. Because usually I just, I just shake it off. Dream journal. My gosh. Dream. Well, and so here's another thing about dreams is like it happened to me in the dream. Yeah. Like, so technically dreams are kind of real because that existed. Yeah. You know? And I don't know if this is like a BS fact.

[00:56:21] I don't know if I'm just making this up or not, but I, I've heard something that that mentioned that, that it's like your brain doesn't know that that experience happened in your dream. Your brain really doesn't know the difference between it happening in real life versus the dream. It was very vivid and very emotional. The same parts of your brain are triggered that have like that emotion that you felt in the dream that you would feel in real life. So they are. Because it's like sort of a hallucination, but you're also crossing over to another dimension. Yeah.

[00:56:49] It feels like, like you ever had an outer body where you can see yourself or anything like that? I have not. That would be cool. Sleep paralysis. That was alarming. That's scary. Sleep paralysis is very scary. Yeah. You're awake, you're, you're alert. You can see the room, but you can't move. Yeah. And dreams like they're, they're really cool. I like when they're like a cool positive dream. Oh yeah. And then sometimes I'm like, I need to go to therapy. Why am I even thinking of this? Look at inkblots. What do you think of when you see this? Yes. Yeah. So chat GPT.

[00:57:17] I'm going to ask my chat GPT to name, to name itself. Yeah. So I can have, it'll be my therapist, my, my free therapist. I didn't know. I mean, I guess it makes sense that it would do therapy. It does everything else. I'm going to start doing like dream analysis too. Yeah. It does everything. It does everything. So at one point, and I think it was when I like was finally breaking free of that long-term opiate addiction. And all of a sudden I started connecting punches in my dreams. And then like, there was no more of those like. Slow-mo. Yeah.

[00:57:46] Slow-mo punches. And like, I don't know. It was, it was interesting. And it's like, you know, what's the significance of that? I guess it's the significance I give it. That you were stronger. Yeah. Yeah. Right. I don't know. Dreams are really interesting. They are. They are. It's super cool. Like I, I like that stuff. Like what dimension are we in? Like, is there something more like how are we all connected? Things like that. So I think that's super interesting.

[00:58:15] That's why I would like to do the whole ayahuasca like guided thing. Like what is out there? Like what's the whole purpose of all of this? Are we just like floating on this rock and then we're going to die and that's it? Or like, are we, is there like some like connection and like greater purpose? Some people figure it out. They find that they'll come back and start, they change their whole life. Yeah. Like I'm doing things different after that. See the light. Questions that will make you think.

[00:58:42] Why does a soul choose a body? Why would a soul want a body? It needs the vehicle to do what it needs to do. You know, a soul can't feel. Right. A soul has no beginning or end. Our lives do. A soul can never feel pain. Yeah. You know, or like all these emotions. Like I was like, I was like listening to this stuff. Talk about that. And I've just been thinking about that. I'm like, oh, my soul is so grateful to feel this. Yeah. Right now. No, that's pretty cool.

[00:59:11] It's like these little shifts in like your mentality can really change your trajectory of perspective. Yeah. How you perceive the world. Yeah. I don't know if you guys are into this, but I met with a medium several years ago. And one of the things talking about like the, like our senses and stuff, she said, I had a friend who I passed and she said, your friend wants you to taste your food. And she explained, she's like in the soul world, like they don't have the same like experiences. She's like, she wants you to slow down and like actually taste your food.

[00:59:40] So that was, you just made me remember that because yeah, we, I mean, who knows? Well, I guess we'll find out sometime, but yeah, it's, it's, uh, we have all these like great experiences that we have on earth, but you got to slow down and enjoy them. I agree with that. It's fun to think about like these kinds of conversation pieces gets your brain thinking a little bit, you know, it gets outside of the box a little bit. Do you do the Zodiac stuff? I do. You're big into that? Yeah.

[01:00:09] I think it gives a good baseline. Um, I don't, I don't think it's like. You think there's a lot of accuracy to it though? I do. Do you guys? What, when's your birthdays? I'm a Gemini. You're a Gemini? Okay. So I, I'm the, I'm the fun one, I guess. The fun one. That's what they say. I'm water. So I'm Pisces. Pisces and Gemini. But I'm like right at the end and I feel like I have a little bit of that Aries in me too. Yeah. Well, you got to do like the full, like, okay, so you guys are really going to get, get me going on this, but you have to do your full birth chart. You have to like know when you were born, the area.

[01:00:39] And then there's like your moon sign. There's like your rising sign. There's all these different houses. Wow. And it's like a collective of like your personality. So it's not just like your sun sign. Okay. That's like how people, that's how people perceive you. But like what I've heard and what I, what I see for myself too is like your moon sign is like how you see yourself and how you feel internally. Um, versus your sun sign is how people perceive you. So I do, I think it's a good baseline. I don't think it's totally true.

[01:01:07] There is a study that's like all of the serial killers, this is like kind of going to the dark side with this, but like of all the serial killers, there is only four signs, four of the signs of the entire Zodiac. Um, one for each element, right? Fire, sun, earth, air. Fire, sun, earth. And then you want to know who the most, um, the, the most, uh, serial killers are. Probably Gemini. Virgo men. Really? Virgo men. I was going to guess Leo's next.

[01:01:36] No, Leo's are not on there. Not on there. Not on there. No. Virgo men. So what is that? That's, uh. September. September. Like late August. Do we know anyone in that department? I don't know. Cause now I'm going to be looking at my September. It's August. Oh, and he would fit. He would fit. Oh, see that's August 22nd. It's right on the cusp. Ah. So that's still Leo. Ah. I'm a Leo. So I know, I, I don't know all of them. Like. Oh, you're a Leo. I'm a Leo. So I just know the end of Leo. Okay. You're beginning Leo. I'm August 1st. Yeah. I'm like. Yeah. You're right there.

[01:02:07] Yeah. Out of the. Cause before that was about the cancer or no. Cancer. Yeah. Cancer. Cancer. And then Gemini. Right. We're going backwards. And then I think Pisces or something. I start to get lost. Aquarius. Yeah. Capricorn. So you're good. You do know this. I mean, I. What do you guys think about it? Do you think it's like. I don't know. I'm not sure. Yeah. I've seen a lot of personality traits with Gemini's, you know, that fit mine. Right. So there's a little bit of truth there, I guess. Yeah.

[01:02:37] I would say that there is some validity. One time I read, and I think it went into like all the different houses or different phases or whatever that you were talking about, cause it was really specific and it almost like described me to a T and it was like a Myers Briggs type scientific test. And I thought that that was really good. But in general, I think that everything is vague enough that you could put any sign name

[01:03:06] in front of whatever sentence and someone's going to relate with it. Yeah, for sure. I think it's super vague. That's why I think you have to really, if you're really trying to get like some insight, you got to do the full, like the full birth chart. I've also been recently getting into numerology, which is really interesting. Um, and I don't know enough on it to speak too much about it, but like, for example, I'm born August 1st. So I'm like, one is like my, one of my numbers. You can do like a full like life path number.

[01:03:35] There's all these things. I don't know well enough to explain it, but I really do relate with the one. It's like the very start of like, it goes one through nine and then, um, and then it'll repeat. So ones are very like masculine. They're very dominant. They're very like go-getters. They're very much like make their own path. And I relate to that. And I'm like, is it because I was born on the first or is that just a trait? That's like, how did I get that trait? Who, how did that characteristic, you know, come to me?

[01:04:05] So it's just, it's interesting to think about. It is. Cause like, so my birthday is six, seven, eight, nine. So there, there, which is, which it goes further than my dad's 10, 11, my brother's 12, 13. So we have this whole thing. That's pretty cool. And then mom's two 16. So it throws the whole thing off, but there's something there. If nothing else, it gets people talking about it. Yeah. Yeah. Right. So. Yeah. Who knows? I think everything has the amount of significance that we give it.

[01:04:32] And like, there are some rules. Like, I think there's things at play that are consistent within this life and reality that we're living. Um, and I, I think a lot of it has to do with like what you actually think about it. And I also believe that we're not the same person throughout our life. No. Like, I think I've been like eight different versions of myself at this point. I agree with that. I agree with that.

[01:05:00] I think like there's all these different chapters, right? And you're a new person. Sometimes like your old, your old self has died and you're like are reborn and you come back and you're totally different. Yes. Um, you still learn. I think you carry each of those chapters with you, but yeah, like looking back, I wouldn't say I'm the same person as I was even like five years ago. Oh yeah, for sure. I'll go back and watch some of our old episodes, you know, cause we've been doing the six years and I'm like, what was I thinking about on that day? And I'm like, yeah, just being a dumb ass as usual. Cool.

[01:05:29] But it's fun to have that catalog a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. That's one nod I'll get social media is the way it catalogs some people's lives and memories will come back up. You know, maybe you can get in touch with a friend you haven't talked to. Yeah. Right. Sometimes the memories come up and I'm like, oh, why do you have to remind me about that? Yeah. You're like gross. I'm going to throw it in my mouth real quick. Or like my iPhone. I'll be like, oh, here's like this like collection of photos from like worst time of your life. And I'm like, thanks. Really wanted to see that today. It was a moment for you to reflect and think about how good you got it. Yeah. Yeah. Everything's temporary.

[01:05:58] And what a great conversation. This has been a slammer. Slammer. Yeah. Absolutely want to make sure everyone can get in touch with you to book photography sessions, book engagement photos, wedding photos. So where can everybody go? So you can find me on Instagram, purely perspective photography. My website is purely perspective.com. So those are going to be the two major places you can find me. Check out my work. For sure.

[01:06:27] And we'll include those in the show notes down below. Thank you. Make it really easy to get in touch. And we'd like to ask every guest that comes on the couch, especially the first timers, if you could offer one piece of advice that when everyone hears this here on Thursday, March 27th, 2025, the world's going to be better hearing it. What would that piece of advice be? I'm going to stick with what we were talking about at the very beginning. Fake it till you make it. Yeah. Who cares? Like, who cares? Do what you want. Be authentic to yourself. And just by you doing something, like, you've already made it.

[01:06:55] So go do whatever the fuck you want. Yeah. Love that. Yeah. The world's your oyster. Shuck it. Whatever it is. Yeah. Yeah. So if you fake it till you make it, once you do make it, it's time to own it. You got to own it. Yeah. Keep it ripping, tater chipping. Believe and achieve. We're out of here. We'll see you on Happy Friday tomorrow. Thanks for all the continued support. Be good to yourselves. You deserve it.