[00:00:00] This podcast is powered by The Plug.
[00:00:33] So, thank you for joining me today up here in the studio at Denver Community Media.
[00:00:40] How was your spirit today, friend?
[00:00:42] Good. First of all, thank you for having me. I was surprised and delighted to be invited to do this.
[00:00:51] Like, transparency, my spirit's a little kind of all over the place today.
[00:00:54] I love it.
[00:00:55] It's like, you know, that anxiety that like, it's the artist's life, like what's next kind of thing,
[00:01:01] going on in my brain right now. But I'm happy to be here and it's a beautiful day and I am still employed for now.
[00:01:09] So, I'm happy about that.
[00:01:11] Okay. So, Mel, I'm just meeting you for the first time, but I got to witness your magic first.
[00:01:18] So, I'm gonna dive right into this really quick, okay? We're gonna go into it.
[00:01:22] And thank you again for being here. Big shout out to Leslie. You know who you are. I love you.
[00:01:28] Anyway.
[00:01:30] So, I got to witness your magic on stage opening night for Dracula at Arvada Art Center.
[00:01:38] Now, talk to me about why this play itself spoke to you and it was something you wanted to try out.
[00:01:45] Oh my God. I remember the, they do like the season announcements of like all of the theaters all over.
[00:01:51] And I looked at the season announcements and I was like, okay, the one play that I want to do,
[00:01:55] I don't get into any other play. I want to be in Dracula because I love Kate Hamill.
[00:02:01] She's the writer. She adapts all these feminist versions of like, you know, Jane Austen or she's in Little Women or Dracula.
[00:02:10] Like, he was there from way long time ago and Dracula was not feminist when it was written at all.
[00:02:16] And reading the play and seeing these like, the silliness of it, like the campiness of it.
[00:02:23] I loved that. And I loved the subversion of religion in it.
[00:02:29] Like, we have the, the our father who are in earth. I love that. So, it was just that I was just so drawn to it and really wanted to be a part of it.
[00:02:39] And horror is not even my thing, but I was like this, this is amazing. So yeah.
[00:02:43] Well, now tell me, okay. So first of all, it is an incredible play. You all did spectacular, or should I say spooktacular?
[00:02:52] But it was amazing. And your character, obviously, because Leslie made this connection here, because I really liked the, I guess, what are, were they Dracula's brides?
[00:03:05] Yeah.
[00:03:06] I don't want to misgender them either too, because I didn't know.
[00:03:09] I don't know. It's a thing with my gender. I use they, them, or they, he pronouns.
[00:03:13] Beautiful. Thank you.
[00:03:14] Yeah. I love playing characters across the entire gender spectrum.
[00:03:20] I love it.
[00:03:21] Like, that's my favorite thing is to just go all over the board.
[00:03:24] Yeah.
[00:03:24] So I like playing feminine characters. And these characters, they're the brides of Dracula.
[00:03:29] Mm-hmm.
[00:03:30] They're spooky, scary monsters. And are really, they themselves are putting on the role of woman.
[00:03:37] Yeah.
[00:03:37] Which I love that.
[00:03:38] Yeah.
[00:03:38] There's like a whole line, the whole thing throughout the play of not a woman, not a man.
[00:03:42] Mm-hmm.
[00:03:42] For me, I was like, oh, well that's a trans narrative right there.
[00:03:46] Yeah.
[00:03:46] So, yeah, it's just fun to put on like, what every human does every day is like, put on a
[00:03:52] gender, which is exactly what those characters are doing.
[00:03:54] Yeah.
[00:03:55] Well, you did a phenomenal job with this character.
[00:03:57] I was just saying how I was gonna, you know, take some of the essence of how you created
[00:04:04] this character, the development that this entire, you know, entity that you brought into this play.
[00:04:11] Just really sparked me because I'm gonna be in a fashion show where I need to have kind of like this like, dark Jack Sparrow-y kind of, you know, like energy and just the way you were like, I don't know, the way you like cosplayed in your body basically.
[00:04:27] Mm-hmm.
[00:04:28] It was really, it just, I don't know, it was very liberating to, like I was living vicariously.
[00:04:33] Hey!
[00:04:34] Through that, so thank you.
[00:04:36] Thank you.
[00:04:36] Yeah.
[00:04:36] That's very kind to say.
[00:04:38] Like, it's good to have that affirmation of like, okay, the work you're doing is reaching out to people.
[00:04:44] Yeah.
[00:04:44] Well, we, you did in that play because I think, you know, folks could look at it like, okay, these are the main folks but it, the entire audience felt something and I don't want to spoil or alert anything but there was a moment in which the rawness of the character was exposed.
[00:05:03] Mm-hmm.
[00:05:03] And everybody felt it in the audience.
[00:05:05] I mean, I had people being like, aww, you know, and it was like a really brilliant buildup, you know.
[00:05:12] Yeah.
[00:05:13] And not to mention, like, I know that with, within the plays right now, like Waitress I think is closing out this weekend.
[00:05:20] Yeah.
[00:05:20] So you had two very like beautiful feminist plays going on.
[00:05:24] So just the essence of our Vada Art Center right now is fire.
[00:05:28] Yeah.
[00:05:28] I am so here for it.
[00:05:30] But just, just as a audience member and my art form being observing and honoring other folks's art, you did an incredible job and it captivated the audience because that was the guttural reaction of what came across.
[00:05:49] So just know that.
[00:05:50] And I know it happens every time because that play is fire and I will be seeing it again.
[00:05:54] Okay, amazing.
[00:05:55] Yeah.
[00:05:55] I mean, first of all, for what the Arvada Center is doing right now, you can thank Philip Sneed, the president, and Lynn Collins, who's the artistic director.
[00:06:02] Lynn is so on it and so passionate about doing these really kind of envelope pushing works and it's really exciting to see this stuff happen.
[00:06:11] I'm loving this, friend.
[00:06:12] I just want to make sure I'm on the right cameras.
[00:06:14] Look at us.
[00:06:14] Okay.
[00:06:14] Yeah, here we go.
[00:06:15] I get to hang out with like, again, how I met Leslie and came into that whole world and we were just talking about this outside was that things just didn't seem like obtainable or like, like, I would have never saw myself going to plays or, you know, any of that.
[00:06:31] But I met somebody that, you know, has a compassion or an understanding towards my neurodivergency.
[00:06:39] And quite honestly, it's been like the best thing for my brain to see live plays.
[00:06:44] It does something to me to be in that live audience setting and to just feel that palpable energy from every character.
[00:06:51] And so I just have such a deep appreciation for what I've been shown there as well as the community that's coming out of it and how safe I feel in that environment.
[00:07:00] You know, like, I go in there and I get to see, you know, the costume designer, you know, Claire's so sweet, you know, and from everybody that you just entering the space and anybody that's holding tickets or, you know, directing where you're going.
[00:07:17] There's just like such a, I don't know, a nurturing.
[00:07:21] Yeah.
[00:07:22] I don't know what else.
[00:07:24] Like, just a nurturing energy.
[00:07:25] And I'm just like, oh my gosh, I'm going to grow here.
[00:07:27] I don't know what's happening.
[00:07:28] I mean, it's theater is where the baby queers go.
[00:07:32] Like, that's where I went.
[00:07:33] And I was talking.
[00:07:34] I love it.
[00:07:35] I wish I knew that.
[00:07:36] Yeah.
[00:07:36] I was talking with my partner about this who's a trans man.
[00:07:38] And he was like, well, theater, I have a lot of friends who for them, theater wasn't a really accessible space.
[00:07:45] And I was like, I totally understand that because everywhere has a lot of work to do.
[00:07:48] Yeah.
[00:07:49] This is the world we live in.
[00:07:50] But also for me, it was so affirming.
[00:07:53] I was cast as boy parts or male parts most of my childhood.
[00:07:57] So it was so affirming for me to be in that space.
[00:08:00] And that doesn't change when you get older.
[00:08:02] You just grow up and you're like, okay, but I still need that space.
[00:08:05] Yeah.
[00:08:06] Nurturing and affirmation and all the, because that's where the queers go.
[00:08:10] The queers go to the theater.
[00:08:11] Like, that's kind of what.
[00:08:12] I didn't know.
[00:08:13] Now I do.
[00:08:14] So here you are.
[00:08:15] Yeah.
[00:08:16] Maybe one day.
[00:08:17] I mean, I'm getting so inspired.
[00:08:18] I'm like, I just like, even if I could be in the background watching everything switch,
[00:08:22] like, or like when it gets dark, I'll pull stuff off the stage.
[00:08:24] Oh my God.
[00:08:25] You absolutely should.
[00:08:26] You should just, just being a part of it.
[00:08:28] Like I've done more backstage stuff than I've done on stage.
[00:08:31] Well, I don't, I think that you're going to be on stage a whole lot more.
[00:08:34] If that's the goal.
[00:08:35] I mean, is that your goal?
[00:08:36] Partially.
[00:08:37] Yeah.
[00:08:37] I mean, I, I want to be in film.
[00:08:39] I want to be in TV.
[00:08:40] I want to be more on stage more.
[00:08:42] I've only been back in Colorado for a year.
[00:08:44] So I'm like still baby steps here, but.
[00:08:47] So speaking of baby steps really quick, I have to know what would your, what would your
[00:08:56] younger self say to you right now in this moment?
[00:08:58] Like, and I want to say single digit self, cause you said like eight when you were younger.
[00:09:02] So like the single digits, what would, what would that version?
[00:09:06] I, so I, this is going to sound so cheesy, but I live my life for my younger self.
[00:09:13] I am constantly checking in to say, okay, what would this tiny human be proud of?
[00:09:21] And this time, that tiny human would be so proud of me.
[00:09:24] Like how I express myself, how I live my life.
[00:09:31] Being paid, like, this is my first paid gig where it's like actually paying, you know,
[00:09:37] there's like stipends and whatever, but like, this is my first gig where it's like, okay,
[00:09:39] you are being paid this amount per week.
[00:09:42] To do this job.
[00:09:43] And my younger self would be, and for this show too.
[00:09:46] Yeah.
[00:09:47] These characters all across the gender board playing monsters, like so excited.
[00:09:52] All the fake words.
[00:09:53] So just living for my younger self.
[00:09:56] And that's actually a really good reminder.
[00:09:57] Cause that's why I felt, you know, when you're not in tune with your younger self, you start
[00:10:01] to get anxious and in the future space.
[00:10:04] And thank you for that reminder to check in with that tiny human.
[00:10:08] So yeah.
[00:10:09] Yeah.
[00:10:09] I know they're very thankful for that right now too, but it's, I think a lot of times that
[00:10:13] we don't realize, especially as, as queer folks just in the world that may have had us a little
[00:10:19] skewed of the own view of ourselves, you know, regardless of the age that we're coming up
[00:10:39] and be like, give yourself a moment to like co-parent with your parents or if they're in the picture
[00:10:45] or not, or that version of them and be like, Hey, my parents may not have saw how valuable of a child
[00:10:51] I was.
[00:10:51] And maybe they did, but I'm still going to come back and remind you from myself that I approve
[00:10:57] of what you're doing.
[00:10:58] You're killing it.
[00:10:59] Like you, you're making it.
[00:11:01] It's so funny.
[00:11:02] I, um, I struggled with my parents when I was growing up and now they're like bigger support
[00:11:07] systems than I am to myself.
[00:11:08] I love this.
[00:11:09] My dad the other day was like, I'm not worried about you.
[00:11:11] You're fine.
[00:11:12] I'm like, are you sure?
[00:11:13] Are you fine?
[00:11:14] You were nurturing them the whole time.
[00:11:16] Yeah.
[00:11:16] It's been a really beautiful kind of growth.
[00:11:19] And I feel really lucky as a queer person to have, not when I was younger, but now like
[00:11:23] the best situation I could hope for.
[00:11:27] Yeah.
[00:11:27] It's like, it's, they're amazing.
[00:11:29] And that sounds obviously very supportive.
[00:11:31] You spoke of a partner and so that partnership must be adored and honored by your family as well.
[00:11:37] Yeah.
[00:11:37] Yeah.
[00:11:37] I'm so here for it.
[00:11:39] Oh, it's pretty great.
[00:11:40] This is brilliant.
[00:11:40] Okay.
[00:11:41] So that's what you'd say to your younger self, you know, like, thank you.
[00:11:44] You got me here.
[00:11:45] Yep.
[00:11:46] We doing it.
[00:11:47] Okay.
[00:11:47] So then you were saying baby steps into, cause you did a lot more like background back
[00:11:51] in the day.
[00:11:52] Yeah.
[00:11:52] Okay.
[00:11:52] Yeah.
[00:11:53] Um, and you know, this, I have, um, a wonderful rep out in LA who's like, she came out for the
[00:12:01] show last weekend, which is so lovely.
[00:12:04] Um, was it opening night too?
[00:12:05] No, she didn't come for opening night.
[00:12:06] Oh, okay.
[00:12:07] But she came just last weekend.
[00:12:08] Okay.
[00:12:09] Just to, you know.
[00:12:11] Room for you, honey.
[00:12:12] Yeah, exactly.
[00:12:13] It was wonderful.
[00:12:13] It was wonderful.
[00:12:14] And she's like, this career takes a decade to build.
[00:12:17] And I graduated in 2020.
[00:12:21] So I'm like, and you know, pandemic and all that stuff.
[00:12:23] So I'm like, I feel like I'm just starting to build what I want to build.
[00:12:28] And I also feel that what I actually want to build is not, doesn't exist in the world yet.
[00:12:34] I love it.
[00:12:35] So it's, it's, it's a long time, but it's like, you know, those little tiny steps that
[00:12:40] feel like they're building up to something.
[00:12:42] I mean, you are speaking to my whole heart space with that because I think we were talking
[00:12:46] about age just a few minutes ago and you were, you know, stating like, I just turned 40
[00:12:52] and I'm barely like in the space of like, whoa, I think I'm actually laying a foundation
[00:12:56] that matches like me and what my personality is, what my goal is, what my understanding of
[00:13:02] self is not what it could be.
[00:13:04] Like I know I'm understanding my power now.
[00:13:07] And so I'm never a person that believes that you are a late bloomer.
[00:13:10] I just think you show up when you show up and you're ready when you're ready.
[00:13:13] Um, because I think when we are always implying being late to something that we missed out.
[00:13:18] So we create our own FOMO all the time, you know, and I'm like, I have enough FOMO as it
[00:13:23] is just with the characters in my brain.
[00:13:25] I'm like, man, you made me miss out on that.
[00:13:28] Um, but so just the, the brilliance too, behind like the neurodivergent self is, you know, it
[00:13:36] takes us a while to understand our personalities and society isn't super open.
[00:13:40] And hasn't been like, we've definitely entered a different era of that being a little bit
[00:13:45] more open, but still having these spaces of masking.
[00:13:48] And so the dichotomy of trying to navigate that while remaining employed and goal driven,
[00:13:55] baby.
[00:13:56] Yeah.
[00:13:57] It's at this, well, it's the young, it's the checking in with my younger self thing, right?
[00:14:00] Where I'm like, okay, I'm going to stay true to myself no matter what.
[00:14:04] And with neurodivergence, the remaining employed thing is the thing that kind of falls on the
[00:14:08] side because I'm like, well, this is going to, if I take this, you know, nine to five
[00:14:12] office job, it's going to burn me out in two months and I'll be burnt out for 10 months
[00:14:15] from that.
[00:14:16] Like, do you know what I mean?
[00:14:17] Baby.
[00:14:18] Yeah.
[00:14:18] Yeah, exactly.
[00:14:19] So it's like finding, building those little tiny, like puzzle piecing those little tiny
[00:14:24] things together to make a life that I'm, I feel like I'm definitely still working on.
[00:14:29] Absolutely.
[00:14:29] But as far as like who I am, how I show up, I'm like, okay, cool.
[00:14:34] I know that about myself at least.
[00:14:36] And it took me 30 years to figure it out, but here we are.
[00:14:38] So brilliant though, friend.
[00:14:40] I think that's incredible.
[00:14:42] I think also a testament that like just to hear someone stand in their power and be like,
[00:14:49] no, I got this, like this part.
[00:14:51] It's just these other outside things, you know?
[00:14:53] And to just like, that you have like the compartment for them.
[00:14:56] And I think that a lot of, there are times that I can't, everything is just one big jumble.
[00:15:01] And then sometimes everything is so intricate and separate, you know?
[00:15:05] But you sound like, I mean, you seem in the ebb and flow and the essence of just like,
[00:15:12] it's existing and I'm here.
[00:15:14] It always works out.
[00:15:15] It does.
[00:15:16] Eventually.
[00:15:16] It'll always work out.
[00:15:17] Isn't it weird that it does?
[00:15:18] And it's like something that was so crippling.
[00:15:20] We're like, oh God, like I can't move.
[00:15:22] I can't make a decision.
[00:15:23] I'm quite literally like in a paralyzed state of, you know, functioning for myself.
[00:15:30] Yeah.
[00:15:30] You know?
[00:15:31] So I wonder in, in neurodivergency, do you think that it's, it's been easier for you
[00:15:41] to have the time to like character development within a play setting?
[00:15:46] Do you think that makes it a little bit easier or do you think that sometimes maybe you get
[00:15:51] in your head a little bit too much?
[00:15:53] Oh, totally in my head.
[00:15:54] Totally in my head.
[00:15:55] I just want.
[00:15:56] That's so.
[00:15:56] Because you created this character I love on stage, but I'm like, what was the process
[00:16:01] to get you there?
[00:16:02] Um, yeah, it's been, actually, this has been one of the hardest plays that I've been part
[00:16:11] of recent, like in a while because, um, I mean, it's a lot of movement.
[00:16:16] I have a movement learning disorder as well.
[00:16:18] Okay.
[00:16:19] So it took me a long time to learn all that fight choreo and all that stuff.
[00:16:22] Yeah.
[00:16:23] Um, and my sister wife is like gymnast yogi also.
[00:16:29] And I'm like, oh no, I'm not, I'm not going to be able to do the back walkover and whatever
[00:16:33] all of that.
[00:16:34] Like that's not me.
[00:16:35] The ball chain switch tap.
[00:16:37] Yeah.
[00:16:37] What does that mean?
[00:16:38] Yeah.
[00:16:39] So that, that was difficult.
[00:16:41] Um, doing three different accents.
[00:16:44] I do Romanian, Yorkshire and, uh, Glaswegian, Glaswegian Scottish in this play.
[00:16:50] Okay.
[00:16:50] Which is like, that's its own thing.
[00:16:52] Yeah.
[00:16:53] And then the building of three different characters that are wildly different.
[00:16:57] Um, it was, it's been, I'm really grateful for this long run because I feel like I'm just
[00:17:04] starting to figure out these characters like now and we're having to get through the run
[00:17:07] because it's just, it's just so much.
[00:17:09] And I have gotten in my head about it.
[00:17:12] I've been like, okay, it's the, you know, it's the first paid gig and they're doing it
[00:17:16] right, all this stuff.
[00:17:17] So yeah, good, good catch there.
[00:17:19] Like I'm totally in my head and I think it's the neurodivergence of like, yeah.
[00:17:24] Masking, but not too much.
[00:17:26] And like how much of the neuro can I show?
[00:17:29] Like what's appropriate in the workplace?
[00:17:30] Cause that's something we as neuro people do not understand.
[00:17:33] Yeah.
[00:17:33] Like where, where does this part of my personality go?
[00:17:37] Right.
[00:17:37] You know what I mean?
[00:17:38] Thank you.
[00:17:38] Yeah.
[00:17:39] Absolutely.
[00:17:39] Totally.
[00:17:39] It's been a lot of that and like figuring out the balance and like, you know, it's also
[00:17:44] this career, especially in a small community, how you do in your last job determines what
[00:17:49] happens for your next jobs.
[00:17:50] So it's like that added question.
[00:17:52] That is very wild.
[00:17:53] Yeah.
[00:17:53] Yeah.
[00:17:54] And they're, everyone's so kind and everything, but there's still that voice in the back of
[00:17:58] your head.
[00:17:58] That's like, okay, am I clicking with these people enough?
[00:18:01] Like, am I talented enough?
[00:18:03] Am I working hard enough?
[00:18:04] Am I, you know, all the things.
[00:18:06] Yeah.
[00:18:07] Wow.
[00:18:07] I mean, just what you did on stage to me, phenomenal.
[00:18:13] It's like a, a thing that I don't feel that I would have the wherewithal to be such a character
[00:18:20] developed person.
[00:18:21] I think that I, I'm, uh, I'm just amazed seeing that type of art.
[00:18:27] Cause I think it's so fascinating.
[00:18:29] And as a neurodivergent person that came up more in a realm that it was never recognized
[00:18:37] or sought after to figure out more about myself, masking that space really took me away from
[00:18:43] having a personality at all as a young person.
[00:18:45] And so again, I don't like calling things late.
[00:18:48] I'm just like, I get to discover that about myself now.
[00:18:52] And I think, you know, obviously like nurturing spaces too.
[00:18:56] So our Vata center being something that's a very nurturing energy.
[00:19:00] I just see a lot of brilliance coming out of there.
[00:19:03] Whereas I've been to other spaces where there's, you know, the success should be rampant
[00:19:09] and amazing, but the stress of the environment and the lack of nourish, you know, of that
[00:19:15] nourishing energy isn't there.
[00:19:17] So people are dropping off like flies.
[00:19:19] They don't want to do it.
[00:19:20] You know, they're exhausted.
[00:19:21] They burn out and the character development isn't there.
[00:19:24] But I think as neuro folks, there has to be obviously that very, like you are seen and
[00:19:30] heard for you so that when you are acting and you become very much that part, because
[00:19:36] we'd love to cosplay because we've masked our whole lives that we're safe to do that.
[00:19:42] We're not going to get judged for that.
[00:19:44] So you did a brilliant job.
[00:19:45] I just have to keep giving honor, baby.
[00:19:47] Thank you.
[00:19:47] Yes, absolutely.
[00:19:49] Absolutely.
[00:19:50] So I do want to just ask like a couple more questions if you're okay about like family.
[00:19:55] Is this something that falls far from the tree or are family members also involved in arts?
[00:20:01] Like what was the accessibility you had to that?
[00:20:03] I mean, I had a lot of accessibility growing up because I grew up in Boulder, which is like,
[00:20:10] you know, it's a lot of art people.
[00:20:13] Okay.
[00:20:13] There's a lot of art people.
[00:20:14] So I got that access.
[00:20:16] My immediate family, like my mom is a ultrasound tech.
[00:20:22] My dad is a computer scientist.
[00:20:24] My brother is an accountant.
[00:20:26] Okay.
[00:20:27] Like it's not.
[00:20:27] I love that.
[00:20:29] But my cousin has been a performer for most of her life.
[00:20:33] My aunt has been, my aunt is, she's like a, I don't even know how to do, she does a lot
[00:20:41] of improv, she does a lot of like devising performance art kind of stuff.
[00:20:45] So it's like in the family.
[00:20:47] And there was always from my grandparents an appreciation for the arts.
[00:20:51] Like my grandfather who passed back in May had like a beautiful appreciation for old Hollywood
[00:20:57] movies.
[00:20:58] My grandparents on the other side were like very cultural.
[00:21:02] They went to the symphony and that kind of thing.
[00:21:04] Okay.
[00:21:04] Yeah.
[00:21:04] Like it's definitely a part of my family, but like the actual doing of it and the specifically
[00:21:11] the art that I'm doing is, is not.
[00:21:14] Yeah.
[00:21:15] It's uncharted.
[00:21:16] It's mostly just me.
[00:21:17] I love that.
[00:21:18] Okay.
[00:21:18] So they were like the observers of art and then you were like, I want to be the art.
[00:21:22] Yeah.
[00:21:23] Boom.
[00:21:23] Yeah.
[00:21:24] I love it.
[00:21:24] Okay.
[00:21:25] I just wanted to tell stories.
[00:21:26] That's my main, my main thing is I just love telling stories.
[00:21:29] So yeah.
[00:21:30] Are you going to start telling your story then?
[00:21:32] Um, I, um, I love what I'm hearing so far.
[00:21:37] I don't, I like it's that thing where like everyone else has, I feel like there's so many
[00:21:41] other people with much more interesting stories than I have.
[00:21:44] Like, you know, we all have our thing, but I think my story is really boring too.
[00:21:49] Yeah.
[00:21:49] But like we could sit across the table and be like, I think you're fascinating.
[00:21:52] So there you go.
[00:21:53] You know?
[00:21:53] Yeah.
[00:21:54] It's always the, you see from the outside the other person.
[00:21:57] So maybe you have to just like see yourself as multiple different entities so you could tell
[00:22:01] stories about yourself.
[00:22:02] Well, like rather than telling stories about myself, I'm more interested.
[00:22:06] I'm writing like, I'm world building like a fantasy world right now with allegories to
[00:22:11] the modern world.
[00:22:12] Okay.
[00:22:13] Um, focused on the idea of like truth versus illusion, which I think is really important
[00:22:17] right now.
[00:22:17] Like there's a lot of illusions that are accepted as truth and there's a lot of truth that is
[00:22:23] dismissed as illusion right now, especially in regards to the queer and trans community.
[00:22:27] Yeah.
[00:22:29] Yeah.
[00:22:29] Yeah.
[00:22:30] Yeah.
[00:22:30] So I'm, my focus because I want something that is universally reaching across like party
[00:22:37] lines, across, you know, different belief systems, that kind of thing.
[00:22:40] Right.
[00:22:41] I want to build a world.
[00:22:42] And I think you can only do that in fantasy where people are like, well, it's not real.
[00:22:45] But then they, um, they feel the feelings of what is actually happening to them in the
[00:22:52] world just through the guise of a fantasy world.
[00:22:55] So that's the story that I'm working on right now.
[00:22:57] I love this friend.
[00:22:59] Okay.
[00:23:00] You do be in your art form.
[00:23:01] Shoot.
[00:23:02] What other things like to be, to be in an art form like this where you are giving so much
[00:23:08] of yourself and you're also letting a character be yourself sometimes.
[00:23:12] What do you, what do you find, um, to be a good way to recharge that or to be able to
[00:23:18] sit with yourself and acknowledge the work that you're doing, the characters that you
[00:23:22] develop that you initially, that you eventually will have to say goodbye to.
[00:23:26] What is that like?
[00:23:28] Um, I kind of carry every character I've ever done with me.
[00:23:32] Oh, I love this.
[00:23:33] Um, because that's how you grow as a human and as an artist, like you take what you've
[00:23:37] learned from those characters.
[00:23:39] So like the boldness of Drusilla, like they're, she and Marilla are just bold characters.
[00:23:45] Um, the masculinity of the Miller character.
[00:23:48] Yeah.
[00:23:49] Like I just take it with me.
[00:23:51] Um, but as far as like letting go of things, I can't right now because I have jumper's knee.
[00:23:56] Just like tendonitis in your knee from this show.
[00:23:58] Damn it.
[00:24:00] It's, but I usually will go out into the forest.
[00:24:03] I'll go on a very long hike.
[00:24:05] Yeah.
[00:24:05] That kind of thing.
[00:24:06] Okay.
[00:24:06] Because that reconnection with nature is so important to me and my mental health.
[00:24:10] It's like, it keeps me grounded.
[00:24:12] No pun intended, but.
[00:24:14] I love intended puns.
[00:24:16] Very pun.
[00:24:16] Definitely intended.
[00:24:18] Um, yeah.
[00:24:19] So, yeah.
[00:24:20] But I, I don't ever get rid of these characters because they just, they stay.
[00:24:26] That's really beautiful.
[00:24:27] Yeah.
[00:24:27] I've never, cause I always wonder, especially like, I've never been super fascinated like
[00:24:33] with Hollywood or anything like that, but because it's like so force fed to us, I know
[00:24:38] a lot about pop culture that I don't like, it's such pointless information.
[00:24:41] But one of the things that's really stuck out to me simply because, um, it helps me not
[00:24:46] have FOMO is that most of the, the actors, they end up having like really distressing lives
[00:24:53] at some point because of the characters they take on and the roles that they fill.
[00:24:56] And then it's like that character's done.
[00:24:59] And so like, who is left, you know?
[00:25:01] And so I'm always so curious about that in any type of acting, even when it comes to like
[00:25:07] people putting on facades, whether, you know, neuro folks do it for certain good reasons,
[00:25:12] but there's other mental illnesses that we, you know, don't, we can't read on very well
[00:25:19] sometimes because of that.
[00:25:20] So I'm always so fascinated by the characters that we are, the characters that we choose,
[00:25:25] the characters that we build, you know, it's just a really fascinating world.
[00:25:29] Yeah.
[00:25:30] I totally agree with you.
[00:25:31] Well, like Hollywood, I used to be, I used to love and now I'm like, I don't know about
[00:25:36] this.
[00:25:37] Like there's so much that's coming out about it and I don't necessarily want any more
[00:25:41] screen time.
[00:25:43] Right.
[00:25:43] You know what I mean?
[00:25:43] I want things to be live.
[00:25:44] I want things to be in person.
[00:25:47] You were talking about the energy that you got.
[00:25:49] Yeah.
[00:25:49] Peter, I wrote my senior thesis on, in college on the poet Andrea Gibson, who's local here.
[00:25:54] Oh, yeah.
[00:25:56] And their performance of The Nutritionist with what seemed to be a very queer focused audience
[00:26:02] and a very not queer focused audience and how the role of the audience is half of the
[00:26:07] battle.
[00:26:07] Right.
[00:26:08] Like it is literally half of the recipe for the magic that is live art.
[00:26:12] So I don't want any more screen.
[00:26:15] We have enough screens.
[00:26:16] We're always looking at screens.
[00:26:17] Like most people work a nine to five job looking at screens every day.
[00:26:21] And I want to bring people back into the world and have it be, they can be immersed in the
[00:26:26] beautiful like sets and whatever.
[00:26:29] Right.
[00:26:29] But I want it to be live.
[00:26:31] I want people to experience this.
[00:26:32] I couldn't agree with you more.
[00:26:33] Yeah.
[00:26:34] I'm coming out of a space where I had to be more in screen time and on a phone.
[00:26:40] And I'm like, oh, my gosh, like it's a different world when you're not even when you cut it down
[00:26:45] by an hour or two.
[00:26:46] You're like, whoa.
[00:26:47] Like I could see leaves and I smell something.
[00:26:50] I think it's autumn, you know.
[00:26:53] But yeah, I just was so very curious about, you know, the characters that we take on or
[00:26:59] that you've taken on.
[00:27:01] And I love I just think that is very poetic that you're like, I carry them always.
[00:27:07] Yeah.
[00:27:08] That's really beautiful.
[00:27:09] It's amazing.
[00:27:10] Gosh, you're dope.
[00:27:11] All right.
[00:27:13] So I just just it's been an interesting space, too, for me to kind of like.
[00:27:23] Navigate and be this open as a queer and neurodivergent person that's like quite honestly
[00:27:31] discovering life that's always been here, but through the lens of acceptance.
[00:27:37] Yeah.
[00:27:37] And the community's been the biggest thing.
[00:27:40] And so I guess what I what I really want you to know is that some days you may not feel
[00:27:46] like there's like this purpose to what you're doing, but you impacted my life to the point
[00:27:52] where I'm going to mimic some of your behavior to do a show because it sat with me in such
[00:27:58] a profound way.
[00:27:59] And sitting in this conversation where you sparked ideas and you enlightened my spirit on
[00:28:07] understanding another person's perspective and living with the different types of neurodivergency.
[00:28:17] And even speaking like how you just spoke to that you have like a movement learning disability.
[00:28:23] Yeah.
[00:28:25] I went to like I feel like I have rhythm like I you know, I can sway a little bit and I'll
[00:28:31] like dance.
[00:28:32] I went to a like an Afro beats class because that's like where a lot of my inspiration of
[00:28:39] just like the music comes from.
[00:28:40] So I go to this class.
[00:28:42] They're like counting out.
[00:28:43] I can't dance when it's counted for shit.
[00:28:46] Yeah.
[00:28:46] I don't understand.
[00:28:47] Like she showed me 10 times and then was like do it and I couldn't do it.
[00:28:51] Yeah.
[00:28:51] But then if I'm on my own, like I'll have my own rhythm and it's like, wow, you can
[00:28:54] dance.
[00:28:55] Count it.
[00:28:55] I can't.
[00:28:56] You know?
[00:28:57] Yeah.
[00:28:57] I mean, there's there's definitely like co coexistence of the disorder I have is called
[00:29:05] dyspraxia.
[00:29:05] There's coexistence of autism spectrum disorder or neurodivergency with dyspraxia.
[00:29:11] So this is brilliant.
[00:29:14] I love the spectrum.
[00:29:15] I know it's wild.
[00:29:17] It's amazing.
[00:29:18] Yeah.
[00:29:18] It's so cool.
[00:29:19] I just love that life in general is a spectrum.
[00:29:22] But you know, the the essence in which we have to be these citizens in this governed society
[00:29:29] is like a little hard sometimes.
[00:29:32] I agree with that.
[00:29:34] Like, you know, a neurodivergent person having to have a nine to five job.
[00:29:39] That's.
[00:29:41] I will pull my head off and lop it or punt it.
[00:29:44] Yeah.
[00:29:45] It's so it doesn't work.
[00:29:46] It doesn't work for me.
[00:29:47] Yeah.
[00:29:47] And I'm a shell of a person or I'm quite literally the I could turn into like a robotic AI because
[00:29:55] like I just I can't do that.
[00:29:58] And I used to compare myself a lot, you know, and even to the point where it was like giving
[00:30:03] myself this comparison of like, well, people are better off because or they're better than
[00:30:07] me because they have this home or they have this type of lifestyle.
[00:30:11] And then you just see how masked up they are and how sad they are.
[00:30:15] And then I'm like, whoo, I still have a roof.
[00:30:17] My car is running.
[00:30:19] Yeah.
[00:30:19] And, you know, but I'm confident to know that I will be able to take a deep breath and make
[00:30:24] it to the next step versus having that unraveling that happens.
[00:30:27] You know?
[00:30:28] Yeah.
[00:30:28] Yeah.
[00:30:28] Takes us a long time to get here.
[00:30:32] So since we've been just like sitting in this conversation and now like I'm so curious
[00:30:36] and we're going to have to sit again, we're going to have to have another one of these
[00:30:38] because this is amazing.
[00:30:40] I was just thinking that.
[00:30:41] Great.
[00:30:41] Please like this can't be the only one to I just I just again want to say thank you so
[00:30:48] much for your time and coming down to the studio.
[00:30:50] Shout out to Denver Community Media.
[00:30:53] If you do not know about Denver Community Media, go to their website, denvercommunitymedia.org.
[00:31:00] And there is so much opportunity and a lot of price inclusivity.
[00:31:05] It doesn't drain your bank to learn how to do these things.
[00:31:09] Okay.
[00:31:10] So I just want people to know.
[00:31:12] Representation.
[00:31:12] You can do it.
[00:31:13] If I can, you can.
[00:31:15] So I just had to give that a little moment.
[00:31:17] But I, since sitting here in this like really reflective space and how you've spoken to
[00:31:27] and about yourself and the things that you've gone through now, what would you say?
[00:31:35] Now what would you say after you reflected for a little bit?
[00:31:39] What would your younger self actually, what would your younger self say to you right now?
[00:31:43] I think they'd say, I cannot believe you did it.
[00:31:50] Like you've done, you're living the dream right now.
[00:31:53] I think that's what they'd say, which is so cool to think about.
[00:31:57] Yeah.
[00:31:57] It is.
[00:31:58] Yeah.
[00:31:59] It's really profound.
[00:32:01] You have a really beautiful essence of your spirit and it's just a very welcoming representation
[00:32:10] that I don't think a lot of folks get to experience, you know?
[00:32:15] That's so kind.
[00:32:16] Thank you for saying that.
[00:32:17] I knew you were saying that today.
[00:32:19] You got this.
[00:32:20] So yes, again, just giving honor where it's due.
[00:32:23] Thank you so much for being here.
[00:32:26] Would you mind letting everybody know where they could find you or maybe the play that you're in?
[00:32:32] Yeah.
[00:32:32] How about that?
[00:32:33] So I am not a social media human.
[00:32:35] I am working on building a website.
[00:32:36] We'll get there eventually.
[00:32:37] But the play, please come see it.
[00:32:40] We close November 3rd.
[00:32:41] It is Dracula, a feminist revenge fantasy, really, at the Arvada Center for Arts and Humanities.
[00:32:48] Yeah.
[00:32:48] I love it.
[00:32:49] Thank you so much.
[00:32:51] Thank you.
[00:32:52] And outside of that, you can, you know, this podcast, if you want to watch it, it'll be on YouTube.
[00:32:58] If you want to listen, it's streaming where Streams stream.
[00:33:00] Okay?
[00:33:01] Cool.
[00:33:01] Great.
[00:33:03] But with all of that, thank you again for sitting here.
[00:33:06] It was just so lovely to be in your countenance.
[00:33:08] Thank you for having me.
[00:33:10] And just, like, I don't like saying, like, keep doing that thing.
[00:33:13] But just, like, the way you are existing is a really beautiful and profound thing to witness.
[00:33:18] So keep doing it.
[00:33:19] I'm just giving honor where it's due.
[00:33:21] It says receive.
[00:33:22] Enjoy.
[00:33:22] Enjoy.
[00:33:24] And thank you for sitting here.
[00:33:26] Thank you.
[00:33:27] You're welcome, friend.
[00:33:28] It's wonderful.
[00:33:30] So we're at the end, y'all.
[00:33:31] We're at the end.
[00:33:32] And I just want to say thank you for sitting with us for the spell.
[00:33:37] And we're going to have more episodes coming.
[00:33:39] Go peep Dracula.
[00:33:40] Also, tune in to Arvada Art Center.
[00:33:42] They have amazing events always going on there, too.
[00:33:45] And Denver Community Media because we like to keep things community, y'all.
[00:33:50] All right.
[00:33:51] So with all of that being said, just remember to continue creating earnestly in love.
[00:33:56] And I'll see you soon.
[00:33:57] Bye.
[00:33:59] We did that, friend.
[00:34:00] That was lovely.
[00:34:02] Oh, my God.
[00:34:02] Thank you.
[00:34:03] This is Sarah Hubbard, host of You and Me Kid, a podcast about starting and raising a family on your own.
[00:34:09] We just launched season two, and I'm speaking with single moms, those still considering, and experts in relevant fields to give you a real sense of what the day-to-day experience of solo parenting looks and feels like.
[00:34:20] Plus, this season, I've partnered with California Cryobank, the number one sperm bank in the U.S.
[00:34:25] So wherever you are in the process, this podcast provides some support, humor, and helpful information.
[00:34:31] Listen to You and Me Kid wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:34:35] The RODECaster Pro 2 is the world's most powerful all-in-one audio solution for all types of creators, including podcasters.
[00:34:43] Graffiti and Julius use one at the plug.
[00:34:45] It offers studio-quality audio and revolutionary features for creators.
[00:34:49] While being incredibly easy to use, RODECaster Pro 2 all-in-one production solution for podcasting.
[00:34:55] It's on sales for $690 right now, and there's a link in this episode description.
[00:35:00] Check it out.